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Showing results for tags 'My determination'.
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If this is too much, can you remove this post? I hope I'm posting this in the right spot. I just want to vent about this. I don't know how to go about saying it. But I'm going to try and just vent about. I'm sure a lot of us, hear this kind of sayings: "You are 27 close to 30 years, old. You need to dress up like you're an adult." "You are into the weird stuff." "Don't you think you're too old playing video games, collecting toys (Action Figures), etc." These sayings weighs me down like gravity. It really upsets me to a whole. The more I hear things like this, the more fear is added on. And the more the fear is added on to me, the more determine I am to get things that I want, no matter what people say about it. It's like as I hear talk like this, it's like I'm being pressured to "GROW UP" and do adult-y things. Go out and mingle with people, not stay home and play video games, get myself a man and start a family, go shopping with women, etc. I get nagged at over mingling with people and finding myself a boyfriend. Thinking about this makes me want to just not even both people in general, in real life. Just go to my future job, do my hours, talk to people and be sociable yes, but not do adult activities with them. Just sit in the sidelines and watch the crowd from afar. I've been called anti-sociable my by late aunt when I was a kid. I'm very shy, but I do pick and choose who I want to talk to. There are topics that I don't want to talk about, but yet talking about anime and video games comforts me. Is it wrong that I'm 3 years close to being 30 and I enjoy topics like that? Is it wrong that I want to add a little excitement and flair to my clothes (clothes that I want to take a break from the dressy casual kind), no matter how many times people would think that I'm not my age? I'm just filed up with these opinions, these sayings, and the whole talk that I need to contribute to society. The adult fear is eating me alive but yet it adds fuel to my burning determination. All I wanted to do is add a little excitement to my life and remember things, that I could possibly share to someone younger. I'm aware of what I am now, but that's what I want to do and not care of what people thinks. Thanks for letting me vent this. And sorry if this is too much to read....
