Dave

And that message is... dressing up as Indigenous peoples to try and shirk blame.

Number X: Barthendelus (Final Fantasy XIII) Hoo, boy, trying to be objective about Final Fantasy XIII. I think I’ll start out by listing the things that I do like about Barthendelus, because, in complete fairness, there’s more than a few things in his favor. First and foremost, I really like his design, both in his human form, and as a fal’cie. The allusion to the Catholic pope is a bit on the nose, but it does lend itself to a design we’ve never really seen in a villain before, not to mention that he winds up being the first to be depicted as an elderly man. His true form in an intricate ivory and gold colossus that truly stands apart, with the pale faces plastered aside his being both artistic, as well as unsettling. Considering how many times we’ve seen the usual batch of summons and deities, it was good to see something that could have borrowed from them, but didn’t, managing to give us something aesthetically pleasing and unique. His motivation, while at first a little hard to grasp, actually is solid and interesting. While most of the other villains on this list are either seeking power or to become more powerful, Barthendelus appears already content with the power he has, already earning the blind devotion of his followers, having a stranglehold on the military, and being something of a god on earth already. What he wants instead is enlightenment, a desire to find a way to meet the person that created him. Exactly why he wants this is sadly vague and underdeveloped, and it’s discouraging that a good portion of why he’s doing it stems from the fact that he was ordered to, instead of being something more personally driven. In order to achieve this goal, Barthendelus is willing to play the long con by setting up a city on Cocoon and letting it flourish for the sole purpose of destroying it once it becomes great enough a civilization to warrant sacrificing and opening the door of his Maker. It actually makes for one of the best villain moves in the series: the idea of acting as the apparent benefactor and protector for centuries, allowing to let these people grow and thrive under his watch, only to snatch it all away when it benefits him the most, killing the very people he cultivated to reap a better harvest. Unfortunately, how he tries to get to that payoff is where things start to fall apart. It seems that the only way to get Cocoon to tip over is to destroy Orphan, who powers most of Cocoon, and because for some arbitrary reason fal’cie can’t kill one another, he needs a Pulse l’cie to do the trick. So, in other words, the final boss wants you to beat the final boss. Hell, he’s practically rooting for you to do it. His entire plot involves making an adventure for you to have in order to get you where you need to be, and he literally forces the party to level grind in order to become stronger. It seems like he’s the tutorial, rather than the person who is trying to stop you. Granted, the end goal of his assistance is to abet in mass murder, but it doesn’t change his almost passive relationship with the heroes creates a dynamic that’s devoid of tension, because he makes no pretense about the fact he doesn’t want to stop you. It’s not aided by the fact that the heroes are only going on this adventure because they have been branded and will mutate if they don’t fulfill their obligations, making playing into Barthendelus’s hands practically unavoidable, so he’s content just to shepherd them along a path that they can’t deviate from any way, making his role as an antagonist moot, because there’s no reason to antagonize at all. We have no direction to go EXCEPT right into his plans. That’s right: in a game that takes place in a hallway, Barthendelus’s plan is to put you in a hallway. Not only does the game take away any agency from the player, but the story does as well. The argument can be made that, as Lightning and friends don’t fancy being played like a deck of cards, then Barthendelus’s game plan still functions as antagonistic, forcing them to do something against their will. It’s a fair enough point, and as we see in the climax and ultimately the ending, they do manage to break expectations and manage to save Cocoon, effectively thwarting the villain’s plan. But it doesn’t change the fact that you still spend the majority of the game working in relative cooperation with the man, making it increasingly difficult to feel that you, the player, are making any kind of progress, accomplishing anything, or playing through a story in which your active role as protagonist is being reflected by playing the game. You want to overcome adversity and climb a mountain, not walk in a relative flat line that doesn’t offer any challenge, and the role of a villain in a story is to create those mountains of adversity (and no, offering challenges designed for the story purpose of level grinding don’t count, because he’s counting on you succeeding, not trying to hinder you in any way). Barthendelus’s contentment to let you coast denies the heroes a chance to really assert themselves and have an effect on the plot, denies the player a chance to feel any moments of accomplishment, and denies the fal’cie himself any chance to grow as a character, because there are no conflicts he has that could ever instigate development. Barthendelus is a cool design with some cool ideas behind him, but his plans render him boring, force the story into a tunnel, and acts as a microcosm of everything that is wrong with Final Fantasy XIII.

As someone who works in the entertainment industry, we don't make nearly as much money as people think we do, for the amount of hours that we put in. There are enough producers and distributors who look to try and get people to work for "great experience, no pay." It would be nice if the people who consume the content don't echo the same apathy and indifference.

Die Hard.

I got through Dream Drop Distance without rage quitting, which I think is a testament to strength of will.

My favorite is I Heard The Bells on Christmas Day, followed by Carol of the Bells.

I completely disagree. One of the things about the games that makes them so likable is the variety of characters and settings that give you something different each time, while still retaining elements that keep it feeling like the same franchise. Not to mention that if you didn't like how a certain game panned out, you just had to wait until the next installment (another reason to dislike XIII is that it kept us stuck with the same characters and world for so long without being offered an alternative).

Number XI: Xande (Final Fantasy III) I guess the first thing to discuss is why I consider Xande to be the main villain in Final Fantasy III as opposed to the Cloud of Darkness. It’s revealed after Xande’s defeat that the Cloud has been influencing him in order to tip the scales of Light and Dark needed in order to be freed, but unlike Zemus and Golbez, it doesn’t appear that Xande was ever devoid of autonomy, or was really needed any kind of manipulation to go on his villainous quest at all. Throughout the story, it’s clear that he is the one responsible for the disruption of the Crystals used to keep the world in balance, and although this co-aligns with what the Cloud of Darkness wants, it also benefits Xande’s own personal goals enough to the point where his plans exist just fine on their own without the added effect of letting a creature of mass destruction breakout of its prison. As the man who is the primary mover and shaker of the plot, and the one who acts as the direct antagonist for the Warriors of Light, I still think Xande can be considered the primary villain. Like the previously discussed Ultimecia, Xande’s main goal in the game is to avert death by freezing time via destroying the Crystals that keep the world going. The thing that Xande has going for him over Ultimecia is that we simply know a little more about him. We get his backstory via his former compatriots, Doga and Unei, about their past as apprentices under Master Noah, and while the other two received the powers of understanding magic and control over dreams, Xande was given the gift of mortality. I think the fact that it is referred to as a gift through the game is important, as it implies that Noah thought highly enough of Xande to give him something valuable (as opposed to referring to it as the curse of mortality, for instance, which would insinuate that Xande needed to be killed). But no matter what wisdom he might have had, Xande doesn’t understand why he was given mortality, and it conjures up a host of insecurities and fears. Unfortunately, a lot of this is conjecture, but one can imagine that this would stir up jealousy of his peers, as they were not only given gifts that he would see as more useful, but were not given the same doom that he feels cursed with, and being confronted with the prospect of dying for the first time in his life seems to have made him feel very vulnerable, small, and frightened by a prospect that he doesn’t understand. The fact that Xande’s motivations stem from him being vulnerable immediately makes him more complex and opens him up to more empathy from a human audience. The notion of life not being fair, being envious of the success of others, and trying to come to grips with your own mortality is something a lot of people can understand, and doesn’t him as aloof as someone whose motivation is, for instance, intentionally getting yourself killed in order to summon God (but we’ll get to him later). It’s also worth mentioning that a good villain will always make the heroes look stronger, if not necessarily physically then at least morally and in terms of strength of character. Throughout Final Fantasy III, there are characters that, when faced with death, choose to accept it because the value something more than their own lives. Aria takes a dive in order to save the heroes who she’s barely met, because she knows that their survival will save the world she loves. King Gorn manages to overcome mind control to kill himself, rather than murder his own son, Alus. And, perhaps most poignant of all, Doga and Unei both choose to die in order to help fulfill the quest of the Heroes of Light. They both willingly choose the gift that Xande believes to be the worst possible fate, because they are able to look beyond their own fears and insecurities and find value in what they have left behind. Great motivation and conversation piece aside, though, there’s no hiding that Xande ultimately harbors the same problem as Zemus. He doesn’t make an appearance until the end of the game, and then his personality on display is pretty standard, with nothing shown that sets him apart from any other boss that you’ve run into thus far. It’s too bad, too, because I feel like there is a lot that Xande could talk to us about. But not only does he not make the most of his screen time, he winds up getting delegated to merely being the setup man for the Cloud of Darkness to take the role of final boss. On one hand, it makes sense for a villain of his style, concerned as he is with his own preservation, would try his best to not be put into the fray for as long as he could, but this still doesn’t change the fact that he isn’t around enough in the story to make a long lasting impression. Heck, with a little help from Dissidia, most people are inclined to believe that the Cloud of Darkness was a standalone antagonist, assisted by the lack of impact Xande is able to make on his own. Xande was a character with a lot of potential, and offers a lot to the game that he’s in. Unfortunately, when he does finally get a moment to shine, all he has to offer is a pretty copy and paste bit of dialogue, a relatively easy boss fight, and mostly just doesn’t get the time he needs to become someone truly memorable.

Because money is the root of all darkness in the hearts of man.

Number XII: Ultimecia (Final Fantasy VIII) Misuse of ellipses and issues pronouncing the letter C only add to the reasons why Ultimecia finds herself so far down on my list. Much like Zemus, Ultimecia acts as a villain from behind a series of curtains, using her body and consciousness swapping powers to assume control over other would-be sorceresses, most notably Edea. The one major thing that the time sorceress has going for her is that her mind control is more direct than Zemus’s was; the speech she gives in front of the Galbadia crowd seems to be her own words, and by cracking the reveal that she’s running the show relatively early on, it doesn’t feel as distant or sudden a jump to switch the ire you might have had for Edea over to Ultimecia. Taking control of Rinoa and dropping her off in space lends itself to one of the more iconic moments of the game, but I think her greatest contribution is how she lends herself to Seifer’s story, pandering to his deep insecurities and letting him play out his dreams of being the hero that was denied to him through SeeD, only to become disillusioned with the hand that is feeding him. But in a way, that kind of highlights the problem with Ultimecia. While Siefer’s story is interesting, and while Edea’s relation to Cid and the other major cast members can lend itself to emotional peaks and valleys, Ultimecia is mostly just bland in comparison. The major factor, I think, is while the two former characters have an actual relationship with the main party, both in their personal lives as well as having the benefit of interacting with them on a regular basis, Ultimecia falls into the trap of using people who are interesting, rather than being interesting herself. She’s got the stock personality of being aloof and condescending, but never really adds anything to that or branches out. Her primary motivation is the knowledge that sooner or later she will be defeated, but while we can assume that this drives her to go on her evil rampage through time out of some kind of fear of death, we never really get any kind of insight or development on that aspect of her character, as opposed to characters like Xande or Kuja. When Ultimecia makes an appearance, it’s usually as a plot point to get the game to go to the next setting it needs to (like space), rather than feeling motivated by any kind of character building. While, yes, the main role of the antagonist is to antagonize and set up the hurdles for the characters to overcome, it doesn’t change the fact that the villain still needs to be a character as well, and a strong character will display moments of personality, give insight into how they think, and provide some kind of arc to give them a satisfying story. Which brings us the crux of what my major complaint of Final Fantasy VIII in general is: what on earth is going on with this story? Nevermind that there’s not only one, but a series of schools that exist for the purpose of creating child soldiers; the story is laden with ideas and concepts that feel underdeveloped, hastily introduced, and then dropped for something else. A war that lands our heroes into battle for the first time is quickly forgotten in time for a graduation ceremony and dance, a political subterfuge involving a virtually impossible train hijacking winds up not mattering as the President of Galbadia is killed almost as soon as he is introduced, and then we move on to time travel, memory manipulation, character relationships that introduce a new layer of complications rather than solutions, and blasting off into space. It feels like the writers made a list of things and events that they thought might be cool, and then rather than trim, edit, or decide how to make the concepts work together into something coherent, they just decided to use them all. And this cornucopia of idea mishmash does not do Ultimecia any favors. As mentioned, her motivation stems from the knowledge that at some point in history, a legendary SeeD will show up and defeat her. And this sets off a series of confusing plot points that, while able to be explained, sets up a swamp of a plot that it’s easy to get lost in. In spite of the more obvious option being to just find this would-be legendary SeeD and kill them, she goes to the extreme of deciding to compress time and space into a singular moment in order to become a god of sorts within it. What ensues is a confusing tale of swapping consciousnesses, with the rules invented for time travel in this universe creating a long checklist of having to find the proper body, needing the relatively unexplained power of Ellone in order to get further into the past, the fact that the Time Compression spell needs a specific point in history to be cast, and creating a hairpin of an opening into her own time that Squall and friends traverse with the power of friendship. Amid all of this, we have her finding her way into an ambassador position within Galbadia, which honestly seems like less of a coup when you realize that in spite of executing the existing president on a national broadcast, everyone still seems completely okay with her being the new ruler, and that any kind of subtlety leading up to that point is unnecessary. Not to mention that the speech she gives after her ascension and the ensuing parade don’t seem to be in line with the plan of a person who is living in fear of SeeD finding out about her and defeating her so much as it feels like someone standing up and saying, “Hey, people who I know will defeat me in the future! Here I am, and here is my itinerary, but I’m still counting on you not wanting to defeat me until I’m good and ready!” Now, yes, all of these plot points can be explained, and can be merged into a plot that makes sense of all of the moving parts. But that doesn’t change the fact that with some streamlining, and a greater focus on which parts matter over parts that don’t, the story could simply be made better. Also, it’s true that the central point of the story isn’t Ultimecia or her plans, but on Squall and Rinoa, and on Squall’s personal journey on learning how to love, trust, and rely on other people. But at the same time, it doesn’t mean that Ultimecia’s role in the story can’t be made into something generally more interesting. If I can offer a counter story for a moment, what if Ultimecia knew that it was Squall that was going to defeat her, and made it her goal to go after him directly? Suddenly, you have an immediate relationship between the villain and the hero, with the villain having more of a personal connection with the person that they are trying to kill, and more of an increase in stakes as they continue to fail at stopping the hero in progressing, forcing them to up their game in hopes of beating fate. Heck, it worked in Macbeth, and I’m inclined to believe it would serve Ultimecia well also. In the end, Ultimecia’s grand scheme of compressing (sorry… kompressing…) time and space might have been more impressive if it focused less on the scale of the plan and more on the person who made the plan in the first place.

Inspired by Team Four Star's countdown of villains, and with the series thirtieth anniversary coming up next year, I thought I would try and make a list of my own, ranking the Final Fantasy villains of the main titles. I really can't emphasize how much these rankings are founded on my own opinions and thoughts, and are not to be taken as universal fact. That being said, I usually keep my decisions based on factors of how interesting the character is, how effective they are as an antagonist, what their relation is to the heroes, and any extra things they give you to think about that give them and their games lasting value (Also, full disclosure: if you can't guess who I have at number one, you have not been paying attention to my avatar for nearly five years). Also, it's worth pointing out that this is far from a complete list. I haven't played XI or XIV, and though I've tried to do some research and homework on The Shadow Lord and Gauis, I really don't feel like I have a grasp on them, if only because I'm not familiar with how they effect the games as they play out. Not to mention that I've got a feeling that, given the focus on XI and XIV on being about your own characters and their adventure, you would get more out of how they are interacting with the villains based on your own experience and personal adventure, and without having that kind of experience, I don't think I can do them justice. I might do a quick write up on them later (especially as the Shadow Lord does interest me, especially his back story), but for right now, they are going to be sitting on the side lines. So this winds up being a list of thirteen, rather than fifteen. On that note, I have also not played II or XV (respectively, because I can't find a copy, and don't own a PS4), but because the plots are more structured around traditional storytelling, it was easier to watch cut scenes and playthroughs to get a solid grasp on the story and characters. With that out of the way, let's get to the list. And remember, feel free to discuss and disagree as we go on. (also, spoilers abound, so tread with caution). Number XIII: Zemus (Final Fantasy IV) The reveal of a mastermind working behind the curtains, pulling the strings of other characters to make them do their bidding, is something of a staple in RPGs in general, and Final Fantasy seems to love it more than most. The idea of something being in control of a plot so vast, able to manipulate a plethora of strong willed and able bodied cast can serve to make the villain appear more threatening, serving to emphasize their own power or charisma. The problem arises, however, when the man behind the curtain not only lacks any kind of visible or noteworthy strength, personality, or nuances to make the reveal of their role as main antagonist satisfying in any way, but winds up being upstaged by the people he is supposed to be in control of. The biggest sin that Zemus commits is that there’s really not a ton that makes him particularly interesting or memorable, mostly because he only makes an appearance at the very last second. The fact that he is on the moon more or less hinders his ability to make direct confrontation, but while it is his will that is responsible for the death and destruction Cecil and friends fight against, Zemus is so distant from our heroes (both geographically and emotionally) that you never really feel like it’s him that you’re fighting. Keeping Zemus’s involvement in the overall plot a secret for so long in the game does serve to make the twist and reveal more shocking, but at the cost of not being established long enough in the plot to really have him make an impact on the player. Now, the argument to be made for him is, if it’s his will that is causing all of the trouble in the world, from the destruction of Rydia’s village to the death of Tellah, the possession of Kain to the abduction of Rosa, isn’t he still functioning as a good antagonist, given how much he gets involved in Cecil’s personal quest and affects him on an emotional and physical level? The answer is yes, but the other villains on this list can also claim the same effect on the heroes in their story while still making more of an impression. Not only does Zemus’s late coming into the plot hurt his chances of becoming memorable, it doesn’t help his case that he is upstaged by the person you spend most of the game fighting, Golbez. You spend so much time interacting with Golbez, making him the target of your ire and the hurdle you feel you need to overcome, that when it’s revealed that he is not the villain at all, and is in fact not morally responsible for anything that he has done, that it doesn’t feel like a twist so much as it feels like a let down. Golbez is the fight that you want, the one that you’re prepared for emotionally, but you then are treated to a final boss that you have not interacted with on any meaningful level, and who, in spite of being the one technically responsible for your troubles, feels like a watered down climax to the one you were anticipating. Even Rubicante, with his sense of fair play compelling him to heal you before you fight, makes more of a lasting impact with his short screen time than Zemus, whose time spent with Cecil consists of making generic comments about destroying the world and makes no effort to distinguish himself. The motivation of wanting to reclaim a planet for his people, and not having the patience to wait until mankind is capable of being on their level, is interesting and has potential, but the problem is that we are told that this is what Zemus wants, rather than ever getting to see him personally express how he feels about the situation, or reveal his own thoughts and complexities on the topic of committing what is essentially a mass genocide in order to save a different race of people. Unleashing the Giant of Babil is an iconic part of the series, but there other villains who have done the same level of destruction while having more personality, developing a stronger relationship to the heroes, and making more of a mark on the plot. Even something as simple as a brief monologue might have given us some valuable insight into how he ticks, but as it stands, there’s a lot of telling rather than showing of what Zemus is all about. What Zemus really needs more than anything is time to be a character, rather than just a plot point; he gets the ball rolling, but if you replaced him with any other Lunarian, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. All together, Zemus feels like the odd man out of the villains, whose master plan and manipulating actually wind up making him have less of an impact, rather than making him seem powerful and intriguing.

The part missing from the comic is how, after making that diagram, Marvel keeps using it again. And again. And again. And again. And again as long as it keeps printing money. DC's blender might be messy and ambiguous in how well it tastes, but I will keep commending them for at least trying something with their formulas and characters.

I believe it was mentioned that this was the lab area where Xehanort and the Apprentices were testing on subjects during their research on the Hearts.

Happy birthday, Wakeless!

The best part is that we can now move on to Final Fantasy XVI.

Well, if we can accept that all of the worlds use to be connected as one, and if France clearly exists in some spectrum as seen with Beasts Castle and The City of Bells, then it's not out of the spectrum of possibility she's French. No rule saying all human characters have to come from Radiant Garden.

Well, both have OP powers that are poorly implemented into the game, negating the skills of the player, so it is a tough call.