Godot
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Everything posted by Godot
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my chest hurts and i think i'm getting another cold/sinus infection aaaa
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my mom said she'll set me up a hair appointment for this weekend
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Text {book one} Forever Chained Together Trilogy: Chains
Godot replied to Lady Aleister's topic in Creative Media
you outright say things instead of using other details to imply it. i.e. "She is very ugly" vs "People cringe when they see her face" this explains it better: http://jerz.setonhill.edu/writing/creative1/showing/ -
Text {book one} Forever Chained Together Trilogy: Chains
Godot replied to Lady Aleister's topic in Creative Media
too much telling, not enough showing. also, try using a mix of simple and compound sentences, instead of just simple. -
Aida has some of the most beautiful songs omg
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i actually understand my algebra homework. it's a christmas firetrucking miracle
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i love how my mom is acting like i actually enjoy saying up late
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With it becoming the world's number one browser, do you use Chrome?
Godot replied to Lu Xun's topic in Poll of the Week
i use it, but i don't like it that much. it's better than some of the other one's out there though. -
my dog is afraid of thunder so she's hiding under my bed owo
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i couldn't go running today :I
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keygens, son
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today i went on a 4 mi. hike, went swimming for 40 minutes, played badminton for an hour and a half, then went for a 2 mi. run. and for dinner i had grilled chicken and a plate and a half of plain salad. feels good man
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/shun I actually liked Queen of the Damned more than Interview With the Vampire (they were both really shitty adaptions though).
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i'm actually really upset i ended up quitting track halfway through the season this year
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Air Gear, another great Manga has ended.
Godot replied to Iamkingdomhearts1000's topic in General Discussion
i still need to get caught up, ugh. -
those always turn out horrendous when i try and make them. they don't want to get made, jfc.
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i feel like N whenever i wear a ponytail because the humidity makes my hair all poofy
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bought new running shoes + shorts *A*
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i just went on a run that turned into a jog, then a walk, then a sprint
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if someone will join an rp on tumblr with me i'll be their best friend
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kyary is mai waifu i don't think i've ever heard a song from her that i didn't love. .w.
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i'll be blunt: your writing has absolutely no flow whatsoever. it sounds choppy and disjointed and there's no variation in your sentence lengths at all. try using a mix of simple and compound sentences, as opposed to just simple like you've been doing. the second to last paragraph is a bit iffy. i don't know what your assignment is or what your teacher expects, but i would stick to facts for a report like this, instead of speculations.
That sucks. There's always next year!