A reflection, an apology and a promise.

[Nero Kunivas 3,046]

I have been on KH13 for around 2 and a half years now.

 

In such a short time, many things have happened and all of which have made those 2 and a half years feel like 5 or more.

 

I recall when I first decided to become a member of KH13, I was rather nervous about even saying "Hello!" to anyone, even with my introduction topic, where a couple of people made note of my Xemnas Avatar and motif I had which amused me. I can't recall who, nor can I check for I still can't find the original topic...but I do remember smiling as I was welcomed warmly.

 

For the most part, I wasn't exactly...out there, still keeping to myself and only making a few posts, comparatively to others here and not chatting with people all that often. (I recall many awkward silences with my good friend Nortanort, plus Yuya, who was CaelumMare at the time, then Yusei Fudo. Name changes, mates. Nort was worse though...so many names... ) But those mentioned, plus a couple others were always nice, welcoming and just...well, good to talk to, you know? I had a good time for the most part, but I felt I needed to make my presence known in a good way, however I lacked the confidence. Then I met someone who would later become my Girlfriend: Pandy Monium. She just turned up on the site one day and a few days later, we almost filled up a status talking complete nonsense with each other before parting for the night. It was the most talkative I'd been with someone for a while. Thus it seemed quite fateful that she reached out to me later on with the KH13 Instant Chat. Needless to say, we clicked quickly and the rest is history filled with laughter, joy, intrigue, sadness, comforting sessions but in the end: Euphoria. I love her to pieces and I feel so lucky to have just known her.

 

She encouraged me to be more social and my word, it worked a treat, adding her to the long list of people who have helped me in my life, especially with my Social-Based and Asperger's Related issues. She even, possibly unintentionally, inspired me with the confidence to come out to people as Bisexual.

 

Later, I remember a nice topic in the RP Section (Now Random) called Guardians of the Round Table...reminiscing about that Table brings a slew of emotions: Happiness, Enjoyment, Anger, Sadness and in general; Regret.

 

Regret...regret....regret...(catchy)

 

Regret turns out to be a common theme in my life, especially from henceforth:

 

I would later go on to join the Social Media Team of KH13. I will admit, I was proud of myself initially for proving my worth to them, enjoying my purple name...but it didn't last. I slacked on my work, I started being lazy and a bit of a jackass...I was swiftly removed due to my incompetence and bone idol attitude. I regret that deeply, as I now may never be on any branch of Staff again, especially with later events, such as repeated rule breaking, Junior Modding and being an asshole. My assholeness was borne of years of repressed anger and my life having several downs during that period, but at no point do I blame anyone or anything other than myself. It was all my fault, but I never took any damn responsibility for my actions...and I hate myself for that.

 

Eventually, I received my first Suspension...which was extended time and time again because I kept making it worse like a fool...and my more recent suspension, which was 30 days, caused me to do something that I, without any doubt or reconsideration, consider my absolute worst decision and act of my entire life: I went on an unnecessary tangent of rudeness and utter callousness towards one of the most beloved moderators of KH13, now Leader of the Mods Team: Flaming Lea, on Facebook.

 

Thinking back to what I said and did...makes me cry. Not just because of how cruel I was, not just because she very, very rightly called me out on my bullshit, but also because I literally betrayed *Everything* I have ever stood for. Shortly afterwards, I was a broken man.

 

Even now, as I look back on my time on KH13, I see positives that make me smile...and then I see the horrible, terrible negatives...they hurt my Heart and wound my very Soul.

 

So I would like to extend something to every person here that I have wronged in anyway, shape or form:

 

I am sorry.

 

I am so very sorry...for it all...

 

And I'm going to make a promise, right now:

 

From this point on, I will be true to what I have stood for and will never wrong you in any such way ever again. I will not abandon Roleplays without reason, I will not personally insult you, I will not attack you, I will never ignore you and by the numerous gods of life and fiction, I will not ever slack off on anything ever again.

 

Right now, I am working on my YouTube Career, Writing Career and Roleplaying Stuff and I will remain committed to them. But you want to know what I will remain committed to more? My friends. And all of the caring people of this wonderful Website...and just...all of you who have helped me, even if you had to be cruel to be kind...

 

Thank you. Thank you, oh so very much...

 

I love you all truly. And may my time on this site be long and full of great things.

[MythrilMagician 6,963]

What a lovely story. I'm quite happy for you that you met your girlfriend on this very site. It's also very big of you trying to change and be a better person and it's a very good thing to do. Something I wish more people would do. Anyway, good luck on all your endeavours and if you have any troubles we are here for you.

[Javelin434 3,164]

Right now, I am working on my YouTube Career, Writing Career and Roleplaying Stuff 

I sincerely hope that you have a 'legitimate' career pursuit, because [in my opinion] youtube is a very shaky idea for a career.

[Firaga 5,947]

Glad to see you got that all out your system. I hope you do better for yourself for now on.

[HarLea Quinn 26,501]

I had to really think about what I wanted to say so I'll start with this: It takes a real man to admit when they are wrong, re-evaluate the problem, and then proceed to make real and positive changes..So, I hope to see your progress thrive so you will continue to work on being a better you. We should all work on being a better version of ourselves everyday until the day we die. A truly wise person knows he/she can not possibly know everything. Only fools believe so. Therefore we are all a work in progress. Forgive yourself for yesterday and build on your tomorrow. If you linger on the past you cannot move on to a brighter future. So learn from your mistakes, pick yourself up, and fight for a better future by being a better you. I know you can do this.

[KingdomHearts3 2,591]

I must admit you have been rude to me on some topics, but after seeing this, I embrace you with open arms.

[The Transcendent Key 12,109]

Oh wow man, that's quite the apology you bore out!  It's apparent that you laid your heart and soul out to everyone, and well, that's never an easy thing to do, ya know?

 

I remember the situations you had, and I remember that you came to me for advice at one point.  I could tell that you were in deep pain.  But it seems as though you've learned from all your past experiences, and you've taken the positives and driven away the negatives, and that's a good thing!  It's never easy to go through this life, but with dedication, perseverance and a strong heart, anyone can make it!  Anyone can accomplish what they seek!  What you want is a new beginning, and by all means, I think it's safe to say that you'll get such a beginning!

 

Things haven't been easy for you, and well, from what you said, you didn't make things easy for the people you hurt.  But hey, you did the right thing and apologized, and that's something big, ya know?  Personally, I never felt like you did anything to insult me or wrong me, so in my case, there's nothing to forgive!  But for the people you did hurt, I'm glad you apologized to them, ya know?

 

Here's to new beginnings!  Good luck, friend!

[Yuya Sakaki 5,212]

Reflection makes us all better people because we realise our past mistakes and learn from them. So it's good that you've done so and gotten off your chest. It seems like this was a long time coming so I applaud you for owning up to everything you've done. I have faith your promise will be kept.

 

Peace!

[catmaster0116 2,676]

Hello Suppi-chan!

 

I had no idea so much happened with you

I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through with it.

 

You haven't been rude or untoward me in anyway, in fact you were one of the nicest members I've ever met on KH13

And you were suspended at one point? gosh

 

As they say: 'The past is what makes us, the future is what changes us'

I'm sure things will continue to improve for you

 

Right now, I am working on my YouTube Career, Writing Career and Roleplaying Stuff and I will remain committed to them.

 

What about that offer to become a contestant on the UK X-factor

[Aqua7KH 5,395]

Awwww you're so sweet. ;u; *hugs*

I don't recall you ever being rude to me, so you're good on my boat! I understand in life we all have our moments and things regret, so just the fact that you are making this thread proves right now that you are indeed a good person and /not/ and asshole. True assholes would just be assholes towards everyone and have not one bit of regret over it. It's stunning that you made this thread to apologize to all the people who wronged you, and I'd gladly call you my friend.

I'm eager to see more of you in the future!

[Shard the Gentleman 2,891]

I'm proud of you! I remember having a conversation with you about a mistake you had made, and how sorry you were about it. At the time, you had said you were a bit scared to apologize. Now I see how much your changed since then, and I'm happy for you. We may have not talked much, but I definitely considered you a friend, and I still do. As someone has said before, a lot of life is about improving ourselves. It's nice to watch people go through the process. It takes awhile for some things, but in the end, it's worth it.

 

Again, I'm proud of you!

[Geralt 4,874]

Well put, Kuni. 

To a positive future!

[Christmas Past 61]

Even though I don't know what happened,since I made my account last week, I can tell that you've been through a hell of a lot and made some regrettable actions like you mentioned in your post.
​ However the thing that makes you great is that you owned up to your past actions and apologized, it takes a lot of will and character to do such things and feel open towards the future and move on, even though not everyone might think this way and might hold grudges(I say that from personal experience in life

), It's best to just focus on the future and continue to be positive.

Even though I don't know you all that well, I wish you the best and hope you continue on your journey!

Edited April 29, 2016 by North Winter

[Alicia Maddox 2,141]

I have been on KH13 for around 2 and a half years now.

 

In such a short time, many things have happened and all of which have made those 2 and a half years feel like 5 or more.

 

I recall when I first decided to become a member of KH13, I was rather nervous about even saying "Hello!" to anyone, even with my introduction topic, where a couple of people made note of my Xemnas Avatar and motif I had which amused me. I can't recall who, nor can I check for I still can't find the original topic...but I do remember smiling as I was welcomed warmly.

 

For the most part, I wasn't exactly...out there, still keeping to myself and only making a few posts, comparatively to others here and not chatting with people all that often. (I recall many awkward silences with my good friend Nortanort, plus Yuya, who was CaelumMare at the time, then Yusei Fudo. Name changes, mates. Nort was worse though...so many names... ) But those mentioned, plus a couple others were always nice, welcoming and just...well, good to talk to, you know? I had a good time for the most part, but I felt I needed to make my presence known in a good way, however I lacked the confidence. Then I met someone who would later become my Girlfriend: Pandy Monium. She just turned up on the site one day and a few days later, we almost filled up a status talking complete nonsense with each other before parting for the night. It was the most talkative I'd been with someone for a while. Thus it seemed quite fateful that she reached out to me later on with the KH13 Instant Chat. Needless to say, we clicked quickly and the rest is history filled with laughter, joy, intrigue, sadness, comforting sessions but in the end: Euphoria. I love her to pieces and I feel so lucky to have just known her.

 

She encouraged me to be more social and my word, it worked a treat, adding her to the long list of people who have helped me in my life, especially with my Social-Based and Asperger's Related issues. She even, possibly unintentionally, inspired me with the confidence to come out to people as Bisexual.

 

Later, I remember a nice topic in the RP Section (Now Random) called Guardians of the Round Table...reminiscing about that Table brings a slew of emotions: Happiness, Enjoyment, Anger, Sadness and in general; Regret.

 

Regret...regret....regret...(catchy)

 

Regret turns out to be a common theme in my life, especially from henceforth:

 

I would later go on to join the Social Media Team of KH13. I will admit, I was proud of myself initially for proving my worth to them, enjoying my purple name...but it didn't last. I slacked on my work, I started being lazy and a bit of a jackass...I was swiftly removed due to my incompetence and bone idol attitude. I regret that deeply, as I now may never be on any branch of Staff again, especially with later events, such as repeated rule breaking, Junior Modding and being an asshole. My assholeness was borne of years of repressed anger and my life having several downs during that period, but at no point do I blame anyone or anything other than myself. It was all my fault, but I never took any damn responsibility for my actions...and I hate myself for that.

 

Eventually, I received my first Suspension...which was extended time and time again because I kept making it worse like a fool...and my more recent suspension, which was 30 days, caused me to do something that I, without any doubt or reconsideration, consider my absolute worst decision and act of my entire life: I went on an unnecessary tangent of rudeness and utter callousness towards one of the most beloved moderators of KH13, now Leader of the Mods Team: Flaming Lea, on Facebook.

 

Thinking back to what I said and did...makes me cry. Not just because of how cruel I was, not just because she very, very rightly called me out on my bullshit, but also because I literally betrayed *Everything* I have ever stood for. Shortly afterwards, I was a broken man.

 

Even now, as I look back on my time on KH13, I see positives that make me smile...and then I see the horrible, terrible negatives...they hurt my Heart and wound my very Soul.

 

So I would like to extend something to every person here that I have wronged in anyway, shape or form:

 

I am sorry.

 

I am so very sorry...for it all...

 

And I'm going to make a promise, right now:

 

From this point on, I will be true to what I have stood for and will never wrong you in any such way ever again. I will not abandon Roleplays without reason, I will not personally insult you, I will not attack you, I will never ignore you and by the numerous gods of life and fiction, I will not ever slack off on anything ever again.

 

Right now, I am working on my YouTube Career, Writing Career and Roleplaying Stuff and I will remain committed to them. But you want to know what I will remain committed to more? My friends. And all of the caring people of this wonderful Website...and just...all of you who have helped me, even if you had to be cruel to be kind...

 

Thank you. Thank you, oh so very much...

 

I love you all truly. And may my time on this site be long and full of great things.

Sean, I'm so PROUD of you! *hugs* That took a lot of guts and I can tell this was hard for you to write. But I can also see that you are sincere. And I love to give ppl second chances. You're a good guy at heart, and I can see you are trying to make things better. Don't give up if you slip a little.........or a lot. . We are all humans and sinful and constantly make mistakes. But God looks at the intent of your heart. And that means, no matter how badly you screw up, there will ALWAYS be forgiveness. And those of your true friends on this site, will give it to you freely. ;D

[Hargleblargleboo 979]

You've realized your mistakes are ready to move on and reform, being the best person you can be. That's the greatest you can do! You should be proud, my friend. You are magnificent and should continue to be so!

[Trece the Xam ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) 3,859]

Magnificent, Kunivas! I wasn't expecting this! That was a smart move for your own life man! You don't know how much just writing something like this and recieving feedback about it in form of forgiveness can help!

 

I do hope you do as you plan and make a brighter future for yourself!

 

Yet, I must say if you aren't able to do everything as perfect as you want it to go, don't blame yourself man, you've got to be realistic, life is hard, you can't expect everything to go in the right direction all the time, but if stay true to yourself and be realistic enough you'll be able to find your way out of any problem!

 

Good luck in your bright new future SuperiorKunivas!

[VisitJoan 2,713]

I can tell it must have taken a lot of courage to write that and admit to what you've done wrong.  But I can also tell that by saying this, a huge weight has lifted off your shoulder.  We're not born perfect.  We all screw up and we all make mistakes.  I'd be lying if I said I've never done something I'm not proud of.  But the important thing is that you've realized what you've done wrong, and you've admitted to your mistakes, and now you're trying to use that to motivate yourself to be a better person.  These things take time.  No one is going to change in an instant.  We're constantly pushing ourselves to be better.