I am officially done with KH13.

[Cricket 1,180]

I have been here since 2009.

I was a moderator in the past.

I was a helper.

I had or thought I had friends.

I am heartbroken.

I am angry.

I am deeply sad by not only how I am received here now, but also by what is happening to my health and in my life.

 

I was part of an early time of moderators here at KH13. However, majority turned their backs on me and I was the only one not involved in what happened at that time. Ever since then, I have had a major loss on this site and keep wondering WHY I come back. I thought I had friends here, but I don't even hear from them like a hey, or how are you doing? These are people I worked with in a TEAM and people I VOLUNTEERED under. I always made the initiative to contact them...I'm tired of always trying. Yeah, I made mistakes...I left the mod team a few times, but I truly was going through health issues and have been for a while...this has been going on for a couple of years. It was emotionally hard for me to try to deal with moderating tasks while being unhealthy but I truly did try and I can see why me leaving the team may have turned some friends away...but I still don't get it...

 

I had a lot of good times here and yes, I've made plenty of goodbye topics and everyone is probably tired of me..even though I get the sense that everyone already is, which is not a nice feeling at all. I don't feel comfortable here anymore or happy. I want to point out that I did really enjoy this site at a time and that I truly did love helping people and it really made me feel great to make others happy or fix a problem. I will always hold KH13 in a special place.

 

Right now IRL, I am hurting, in pain every day, emotionally beat up, mentally exhausted, have no friends because they all left me because I am sick with something serious. My family worries about me every day and it makes them sick and makes me sick in return. I want to know who my real friends are and where I feel happy and this place just isn't doing it anymore...

 

I am officially and finally over with my visit at KH13. 

 

I would like to just say thank you to Steve (Steventus) for trying to talk to me and actually seemed like he cared...I am really sorry for cutting our convos short lately but I just am emotionally/mentally exhausted...but seriously, thank you. You are a good person and believe me, you'll find a good gf and you'll be great to her.

 

Goodbye.

 

[Xiro 3,468]

"You know... I'm sad."

[malamanteauman 6]

Hi there,

 

I only really visit this site to look at the news, I don't participate at all in the forums. But I just happened to see your post and I wanted to know that whoever you are, wherever you are. I am here for you, and I care that you are all right. 

 

If you are having thoughts of suicide, please call the national US hotline at 1-800-273-8255, or if you're not in the U.S. look at this site for information regarding the suicide hotline in your country. http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

 

Please know that no pain is ever worth taking your own life. Regardless of how hard life may seem, how lonely you may feel, there are always people out there that care about you and how you are doing. If you need to talk, please don't hesitate to reach out to the number I provided, or to me via message.

[Yuya Sakaki 5,212]

Awwww Cricket... I'm really sad to see you go.... You're a really great person even though we haven't spoken much in the past, I've seen you around helping others. I did enjoy talking to you. I'm really hoping the best for you, I can't imagine how painful it must be, but there's always a light at the end of the tunnel (cheesey, I know, but it's true!) Just hang in there!

 

Peace!

[Soul_Seeker 753]

Honestly, I've only been here since November so I only know a select amount of people.

But, let me say something.

 

Now, listen.

 

No matter how much you may believe nobody cares about you or would want to, that's entirely false. In fact, it's only your own mind tricking/deceiving you into believing this. If I recall correctly, your username was once Cricket. I know for a fact that you had friends that cared about you. Lack of activity is not them wanting to neglect you, it's them doing something they don't fully understand/realize.

 

I believe you had many friends, such as people like Sora96 and as you've stated SteVentus. These people definitely cared about you.

 

I don't know about your current mental condition, but I know it's interfering with your ability to see that no one has turned away. I'm sure reaching out to everyone you know to help you will at least calm your nerves a bit.

 

In short, you have friends that care about you, make no mistake. I hope you feel better, and hope you return to the forums.

[DaxovanHearts 452]

Hi there, I only really visit this site to look at the news, I don't participate at all in the forums. But I just happened to see your post and I wanted to know that whoever you are, wherever you are. I am here for you, and I care that you are all right.  If you are having thoughts of suicide, please call the national US hotline at 1-800-273-8255, or if you're not in the U.S. look at this site for information regarding the suicide hotline in your country. http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html Please know that no pain is ever worth taking your own life. Regardless of how hard life may seem, how lonely you may feel, there are always people out there that care about you and how you are doing. If you need to talk, please don't hesitate to reach out to the number I provided, or to me via message.

Suicide doesn't solve your pain, it simply passes it onto someone else.

[WakingDawn96 1,166]

Well don't feel bad, people don't talk to me that much either and I still feel like the odd one out. Maybe I would have talked to you more if I was more aware of your problem, but since I wasn't I kind of forgot you even exist. I am so sorry for that, but you can't b friends with everyone because everyone lives a different life, so I am sorry but I also can't be blamed for anything since I don't know you very well.

[Trece the Xam ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) 3,859]

I have been here since 2009.

I was a moderator in the past.

I was a helper.

I had or thought I had friends.

I am heartbroken.

I am angry.

I am deeply sad by not only how I am received here now, but also by what is happening to my health and in my life.

 

I was part of an early time of moderators here at KH13. However, majority turned their backs on me and I was the only one not involved in what happened at that time. Ever since then, I have had a major loss on this site and keep wondering WHY I come back. I thought I had friends here, but I don't even hear from them like a hey, or how are you doing? These are people I worked with in a TEAM and people I VOLUNTEERED under. I always made the initiative to contact them...I'm tired of always trying. Yeah, I made mistakes...I left the mod team a few times, but I truly was going through health issues and have been for a while...this has been going on for a couple of years. It was emotionally hard for me to try to deal with moderating tasks while being unhealthy but I truly did try and I can see why me leaving the team may have turned some friends away...but I still don't get it...

 

I had a lot of good times here and yes, I've made plenty of goodbye topics and everyone is probably tired of me..even though I get the sense that everyone already is, which is not a nice feeling at all. I don't feel comfortable here anymore or happy. I want to point out that I did really enjoy this site at a time and that I truly did love helping people and it really made me feel great to make others happy or fix a problem. I will always hold KH13 in a special place.

 

Right now IRL, I am hurting, in pain every day, emotionally beat up, mentally exhausted, have no friends because they all left me because I am sick with something serious. My family worries about me every day and it makes them sick and makes me sick in return. I want to know who my real friends are and where I feel happy and this place just isn't doing it anymore...

 

I am officially and finally over with my visit at KH13. 

 

I would like to just say thank you to Steve (Steventus) for trying to talk to me and actually seemed like he cared...I am really sorry for cutting our convos short lately but I just am emotionally/mentally exhausted...but seriously, thank you. You are a good person and believe me, you'll find a good gf and you'll be great to her.

 

Goodbye.

 

You must be going through a rough time if you've really gotten to this point. Even though it isn't nice to blame others for not caring, you may be right and people don't contact you, but I honestly think that it's mainly because most of them have left the site. Moreover, if you will feel better leaving the site, do so, this site isn't everything.

 

Farewell, and I'm glad you had someone like Steve by your side, he's a really nice guy. I hope you get better and hopefully see you around here in some time!

[MythrilMagician 6,963]

Hey please, don't be like that. Don't worry about what the cruel people say and do to you. Look at all these people, genuinely concerned about you. If you have any troubles, you can always talk to us.

 

Now loosing friends over leaving the mod team, I don't understand, but you don't have to speak to those people. If ever you decide to come back to the site, we will be here for you, ready to talk to you, listen to you, help you with your problems.

 

Please stay strong, aim high and keep moving forward. Don't let anyone discourage you from anything.

[Soravids 1,056]

Hey Cricket, me and you never spoke much, but I'm sad to see you go. You always seemed like a super nice member. I wish you the best of luck in your future. There are times when I feel people here don't value my presence, but that's not true. We all play an important part. God bless you.

[Veemon 1,540]

I'm really sorry to hear about this, Cricket. I never knew you felt that way about the people on this site... But to be honest, I can understand the pain you must feel when nobody wants to say "Hey" to you! It IS heartbreaking most of the time, and there are so many people who will ignore you on this site, that much is fact. Illness, sadness, anger, regret, all these can come from the cruelness of others, and it is never easy to protect yourself from these feelings. Pretty much, life hurts.

 

But you know what you'll always have that not everyone gets? Experience. Remember the old saying,"No pain, no gain!"? This is just that. The people who suffer a lot more, but act tough anyways, tend to have more experience and capability. So long as you don't resort to a life of crime, drugs, smoking, or something like those things, you will, no, WE, will be stronger! Count on it.

 

Thank you so much Cricket for being a person I could talk to. Even when you may leave, maybe forever even, I promise you that so long as you keep your Account on here, (Don't delete it! Please. ) I shall always be available to you.

 

Goodbye, Cricket. I will miss you so much. I will keep you in my prayers.

 

 

And PS: Thank you. I...*wipes tears away*...I will! I shall give her so much care, and it will be great. That's a promise I shall make to her, myself, and even you.

 

 

Rock on!

[KingdomHearts3 2,591]

Well, it's your choice to go. I will just leave you with some food for thought: can you in all seriousness expect everyone on here to always talk to you and befriend you? Maybe people have other things to do in their lives that they can't talk; only come on here for news. If you are expecting for people to do what you think they should do, then you're foolish in doing so because people will never meet all the expectations you set. I feel bad for you that you have health issues, but you have support right next to you at home: your family. If they are concerned about you, then they should be the first group of people you go to for support, not here. We'll support you, but don't expect every person on this site to say that and then become angry and disappointed if they don't. Your friends should not be only from a website, they should be people you personally know and see. With this as food for thought, I wish you luck as you go forward.

[Captain Swagblader 280]

Sounds like a rough time. I may not be seen, but know that friends make who you are. And you are mistaken about your amount of friends. Look at us. We may not know you, but we are bound by our love for this strange, silly game we all play. Who knew? This connects us, this is literally a kingdom of connected hearts, and that is why you are strong. Because we are your friends, no matter how far apart, no matter how much we don't talk, no matter how much darkness enters you heart. And we are your power. STAY STRONG, OathDreamer!, or as I should know you by, Cricket! And never forget! We are here, no matter how rough it gets, because that's what friends do,..

[HarLea Quinn 26,501]

Sorry to hear that you are going through hard times right now. However, I have seen a lot of people be supportive and caring towards you including myself. I have always tried to be there for you and so have others. I do not know of anyone personally who have turned their backs on you for merely leaving the mod team but I do know a lot of those older mod members you used to work with aren't even here anymore. I have seen you come and go numerous times - most with no goodbyes or explanations. You just disappeared. I have my own health issues myself and the many times i was gone or hospitalized I let my friends know. Friendships are a two way street and constantly disappearing and reappearing on people who care about you can damage friendships and create hurt feelings. When it's constantly repeated it should be no surprise when people do become more distant. Especially if they felt their friendships weren't valued enough to warrant a goodbye every time you disappeared, which is often. This does not mean no one cares. People do care.

 

 If some people have become distant I don't think it's bc you are sick and have health issues. I have a chronic health issue and if anything people became more supportive and caring towards me here.

 

 That said, there are plenty of people that care and support you here and this thread is a great example. I myself have always tried to be there for you when you needed me. I know other people here also can say the same thing. You will always be in my thoughts and prayers and I wish you the best.

[Jake 1,488]

Sorry to see you go, Cricket. I remember talking to you and how you were awesome.

 

I also get ignored a lot, and sometimes I think I'm simply talking g to myself. I can sense some pain you feel, I've felt the same way.

 

If you ever wanna talk, I'm always available.

[WakelessDream 2,279]

Cricket, I know we didn't speak to each other much outside of moderating, but when we did I thoroughly enjoyed our conversations even if they were short. I cannot speak for the earlier batch of moderators you were a part of, but I know when you rejoined the team and we became teammates, that we all enjoyed your presence on the team and appreciated the work and effort you put into it. I remember when you announced your leave of absence from the team for understandable reasons, we were all very sad and worried about you, but I also remember how many of us reached out to you and were supportive during that difficult time. None of us, as far as I know, ever held that against you, or thought ill of you because of it. So please don't think we don't care! A lot of us do!

 

That being said, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a rough time and are in pain right now. KH13 isn't everything, your happiness, health, and overall well-being should come before this site, but know that you do in fact have people here who support you and care for you if you ever need anything. Please take care, and I wish you all the best. 

[Mystics Apprentice 2,397]

While we may not have spoken much I have seen you around on the forums throughout the years, and I am very saddened to hear what you are going through.  I wish all of the best for you, and please know that there are MANY people here that support you on this site, and in the world in general.  You will find a lot of people in this world--both amazing and total jerks--but don't let the negative ones get to you.  No matter what there will be people there to support you and stand by your side.  I know for a fact that Sora96 always spoke highly of you, as well as others on the site.  Your legend as a moderator has and will live on, and we're all very grateful to your contribution to the site.  Because you're in the depths of this dark time it may feel like everything is crumbling around you and that people can never truly care about you, but please know that this is entirely untrue and your mind is just convincing you of this!

 

I am gladdened that I got to meet you, and that you have enjoyed your time here on the site.  I wish you all of the best in your future ventures and life as a whole, and know that you always have people to speak to on here should you ever need a shoulder to lean on.  I think many of us have been through very dark periods of our lives and have had health issues, and to an extent many of us can relate and support you.  Take care, Cricket.

[Dracozombie 4,554]

If you ever have problems you feel like you can't deal with on your own, at least, AT LEAST talk to DC or Lea or pretty much anyone else on the current mod team. They are all wonderful and supportive and lovely people who can at least lend an ear. Trust me on this. I've witnessed this support from them myself. It always reminds me of how friendly this community can be, and that's not something I can say about a lot of forums on the internet. No one is judging you on any health issues you have, and if they are, firetruck 'em -- it's not like there are many if any of them wandering around here.

 

But the thing is, no one will know anything's going on if you don't reach out to them. You don't have to make a public spectacle out of it, maybe just a PM asking if you can talk. It looks like you've already done so with Steve, and that's great. That's just more proof there are people here you can turn to.