Film Deadpool Review!

[The Transcendent Key 12,109]

Hey there, you lovable freaks, Deadpool here, and since now February is over and March has begun, I'm going to go out with a bang by providing my review of my own film, which I saw this past Friday!

 

Okay, so, to avoid as many spoilers as possible, I'm gonna provide a short and quick view on things so you can get the big picture, ya know?  I'll even hold your hand if you want me to!  Just don't expect me to tuck you into bed or anything like that!  Also, I expect chimichangas for allowing you to hold my hand!

 

But anyways, on to my review!

 

So yeah, obviously, my super cool movie deals with my origin story, and luckily, this film redeems me from the total trash I was in X-Men Origins: Wolverine!  Thank God Days Of Future Past rebooted the X-Men movies, otherwise, I'd had remained with my mouth sewn shut, and that's something I would have found sad! D:  But yeah, so I'm diagnosed with terminal cancer in multiple parts of my body, and then this shady pedophile looking guy comes and offers to make me a superhero and cure my cancer!  Sounds pretty good so far, right?  Well, wrong!  Turns out that I was trapped in a demented psycho lab and instead of being a superhero, I was supposed to become a super slave!  How crazy is that!?

 

But yeah, after a certain few something or other things happen, I end up looking for this special little somebody named Ajax, who was the person who made me the badass, sickly looking mother lover I am!  But, of course, at first, all I wanted was to be rid of the powers he gave me, but, long story short, I decide to remain with my powers!  After all, if I can put a stop to crazy psychos with the guarantee I'll heal from every attack I receive, that's a pretty sweet deal!  Oh, and don't think this is your regular, kid friendly superhero movie, because it's not!  And it's because...

 

 

 There's tons of sex and hot, funky ladies dancing in strip bars!  There's also lots of decapitating and limb removing, so that's nasty too!  Also, there's a lot of cussing words, so yeah, you get where I'm going with this!  Some of my favorite funny moments were when I was trying to hit Colossus but failed miserably, thus, my body being broken just by touching the guy!  Also loved that sexy little sex montage with my bae, cuz that was hilarious and sexy!  I also love the times I talked with my Indian cab driver, Dopinder!  For those who've seen the movie, you know what I'm talking about!  Describing it isn't the same as watching it onscreen, so take my word for it!  I also loved the post credits scene, I couldn't have performed it better myself!  Oh, and I also love the beginning sequence, since it shows just how badass I am right from the start!

 

 

So yeah, unless you want your kids to get traumatized by all the gore and sex, then suit yourself, but that means you're a douche parent that has a sick, twisted mind!

 

But anyways, I thought my movie was great, if not perfect!  I was funny throughout, those dumbass X-Men lackeys were pretty cool too, and overall, the action was great!

 

How do I rate my own film!?  Infinity out of 10!!!

 

So then, I bid thee adieu, my fellow freaks!  Good night to you!

Edited March 1, 2016 by The Transcendent Key

[WakingDawn96 1,166]

Deadpool is leaving? That's actually sad now that he became like a friend to me. Oh well, I hope to make new friends soon.

[-Justin- 2,111]

I knew our movie was gonna be great!