Naminé15 0 Posted August 31, 2010 Sis told me yesterday to stop worring about what other's think about what I do, for example writing. So, I decided to type this thing I came up with some time ago. Hope you enjoy - if somebody ever decide to waste his/her time reading this rubbish- Introdudtion: My name is Onyx. I was found when I was just a baby in front of a house, where a kind couple lived. Since then they kept me as their own daughter. The day before, we had moved to another town, because of my parent Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Antrium 10 Posted August 31, 2010 That was amazing Namine! I really want to read more, I found the character HIM already intriguing. He was kind and a kidnapper, that persona is absolutely original and for me unheard of! Please write more. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sarrin 100 Posted September 14, 2010 not bad i like it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Antrium 10 Posted September 14, 2010 not bad i like it Not bad??? Hey this is almost a work of pure genius. Think about how she put her characters in a certain situation and how she brought out their attributes and characteristics in just a few sentences. She made me attached to them with little effort. Excluding a few minor flaws this is one of the best works I have seen from someone as young as her. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sarrin 100 Posted September 16, 2010 look iv known about her for a while trust me i know how good she is~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giginha 22 Posted September 16, 2010 Sis is way better than me, she just puts herself down too much. Btw I think she'll be only writing on DA now, I'm just saying since there are some people who might be reading her stories and wondering why she haven't been posting for so long. I'll see if I put the link here later. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zexion's_Lover_46 76 Posted September 16, 2010 How old are you?! I agree with Antrium! The concept, words, the whole plot...Everything! It was phenominal. And your older sister is right. You shouldn't worry about what others think of yout writing. As long as you enjoy writing, you should keep writing, regardless of what others think However, I thought it was good. Keep it up the good work. I'm a writer myself so I know a good story when I see one. I think the story was very creative. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giginha 22 Posted September 16, 2010 Actually she's older than me .__. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Space Cowboy 1,392 Posted September 16, 2010 Good job, Namine 8D. I look forward to the oncoming chapters of this story. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zexion's_Lover_46 76 Posted September 16, 2010 Actually she's older than me .__. Still your sister writes well. You write well too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Antrium 10 Posted September 17, 2010 Yup see, she rocks beyond all! Now hurry up and give me more lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Naminé15 0 Posted September 25, 2010 Sorry it's taken too long to post it - I've lost my password recentlt and had to spend a few time away. But here now it goes. This chapter is not climax yet, so you may think it's a bit "slow". Anyway, hope you enjoy it. Thanks for al the coments. Chapter II: Trust Minutes looked more like ages, they too long to go by. But finally the time arrived, I felt the car stopping, felt HIS hands touching my head as he tock of the piece of cloth HE had used to blindfold me. I recognized my location immediately: it was the famous place I had seen so many times in photos: Zahidin Empire's Scientific Facility Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Antrium 10 Posted September 25, 2010 ... You... are... an... amazing writer! I love this so much, like you don't even know! Not a lot of people know how much it takes to make a story like this. You are awesome, now please give us more. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Naminé15 0 Posted October 5, 2010 thanks for such a coment, Antrium :D:D:D Chapter III: Ladgia Raiga sedated me; the last things I remember seeing were people dressed like doctors getting near me. I woke up in a hospital room. A 10-year-old boy was staring at me and, as soon as I opened my eyes, he spoke. "Do you know exactly what you are? I mean, do you know anything about the Ladgia?" His voice showed no kind of emotion; actually he seemed too serious for a child of his age. I shook my head in reply, feeling how weak my body had became. What could those people have done to me? There were needles entering my skin to take serum or something like that into my veins. I also noticed my clothes had been replaced by ones typical of hospitals. The boy continued, speaking mechanically. "May I tell you the tale of your people: the Ladgia. "The Ladgia used to live between the rivals empires of Zahindin and Lamina, but were never part of any of them. For centuries these people knew and used the properties of their own blood in rituals, obtaining unbelievable results always for their common good. These rituals were so complex that only a few Ladgia Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Antrium 10 Posted October 5, 2010 Very intriguing and great sentence structure Also I loved how you told us how you made the idea. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
