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[darklunatic 81]

[align=center]intro

[Naminé15 0]

It's complicated to understand what's happening, probably if you ponctuation and grammar it would be easier to aunderstand. However the plot seems great, you know how to present it, the story wuill be fantastic. I'm putting faith on you: continue writing. :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

[darklunatic 81]

[align=center]Chapter1 meeting

A boy opened his eye

[Naminé15 0]

The plot seems really good, there's no doubt, but your grammar - specially ponctuation and capital letters placement - should be watched in order to make it easier to understand. - I know I've already said it before, sorry. Problaby if you used Microsoft Word to type the text, and read it after you wrote, the problems would be over. :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

[Antrium 10]

I agree, great plot. Although your punctuation and grammer is way off. There is nothing wrong with this except for the fact that you make it very hard for your readers to understand what you are trying to say. If I was you I would proof read the next continuation before posting it.

 

Like I said, great plot!

[darklunatic 81]

[align=center]Chapter2 the hunt

Sero laid there unfeeling but something had woke him up he blinked slowly as he looked up his eye

[darklunatic 81]

[align=center]chapter 3-the hunt part 2

sero was walking mana was on his back sleeping he keep walking un tell he made it to a hug gate but it was just a wall he saw people walking in and out all looking differently it was a huge city he walked around seeing a lot of store