The 13th Kenpachi 4,279 Posted June 21, 2015 https://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20150621035417AA0arf8 What advice do you guys give? I'm unsure if this is the right place for this topic. Any help would be nice. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pokemoncuzzie 271 Posted June 21, 2015 This is quite the predicament (man I don't like using long words hehehe). I can immediately see some faults on both sides here. I think the girl was being too harsh on the guy, a lot of unnecessary verbal abuse. What it comes down to in my opinion is basically it is that type of relationship. A guy and a girl become really good friends and depend on each other. But it is really hard in this situations for one person to not develop more intimate feelings. Which seems to be the guys problem, he has strong feelings for this girl. Hence why he felt "jealous". The guy needs to talk to the girl if he wants closure on this issue. They need to sit and really engage with each other and try and find out what's bugging them. The family thing might be a bluff but I wouldn't take that risk. If you could give me more details on this I might be able to help more (assuming that you are involved in this incident.) 1 The 13th Kenpachi reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The 13th Kenpachi 4,279 Posted June 21, 2015 This is quite the predicament (man I don't like using long words hehehe). I can immediately see some faults on both sides here. I think the girl was being too harsh on the guy, a lot of unnecessary verbal abuse. What it comes down to in my opinion is basically it is that type of relationship. A guy and a girl become really good friends and depend on each other. But it is really hard in this situations for one person to not develop more intimate feelings. Which seems to be the guys problem, he has strong feelings for this girl. Hence why he felt "jealous". The guy needs to talk to the girl if he wants closure on this issue. They need to sit and really engage with each other and try and find out what's bugging them. The family thing might be a bluff but I wouldn't take that risk. If you could give me more details on this I might be able to help more (assuming that you are involved in this incident.) Plot twist. I'm the guy in this situation. I don't want to spam this topic so i'll PM you. 1 Pokemoncuzzie reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nick Sideris 1,551 Posted June 21, 2015 You should speak to her family first . Make them understand that what you did was not on purpose and apologise to them . Then , if her family accepts the apology , I guess you could try speaking to her . If not , well , my advice for you is to find a new true friend . 1 The 13th Kenpachi reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The 13th Kenpachi 4,279 Posted June 21, 2015 You should speak to her family first . Make them understand that what you did was not on purpose and apologise to them . Then , if her family accepts the apology , I guess you could try speaking to her . If not , well , my advice for you is to find a new true friend . It's not like this was a one time thing. I've done this 3 times. I knew if i told her it would bring her down but i did it despite that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nick Sideris 1,551 Posted June 21, 2015 (edited) It's not like this was a one time thing. I've done this 3 times. I knew if i told her it would bring her down but i did it despite that. Look , just speak to her family in a non-"I-am-her-boyfriend" way and they should understand . Tell them you did not mean to upset her and that she's your only ,true and best friend . Be honest with them about your feelings towards her . But don't overdo it . Edited June 21, 2015 by Nick Sideris 1 The 13th Kenpachi reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The 13th Kenpachi 4,279 Posted June 21, 2015 Look , just speak to her family in a non-"I-am-her-boyfriend" way and they should understand . Tell them you did not mean to upset her and that she's your only ,true and best friend . Be honest with them about your feelings towards her . But don't overdo it . Thank you for your advice. I appreciate it. 1 Nick Sideris reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nick Sideris 1,551 Posted June 21, 2015 Thank you for your advice. I appreciate it. Glad I could help . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sorarocks93 678 Posted June 21, 2015 (edited) I'm sorry but, isn't she acting a bit selfish too? She said "I don't want other girls touching you'". I have three points to make about this. First: She would only say that if she has feelings for you. Second: She says that, but gets upset when you basically say the same thing to her. Third: Why even get upset because you're expressing you own feelings? It's not fair to you is it? If you keep repressing your own feelings you're the one who will get a depression in the end. Depressions don't just come out of nowhere. So in conclusion, why are you just friends and not in a relationship when there's clearly something more going on between you too. That's basically the next step after "best friends" Maybe you should have went with another approach, like instead of telling her you're jealous tell her you like her in a way more than that just best friends. That would probably make her happier and make her stop seeing other guys too. What it comes down to in my opinion is basically it is that type of relationship. A guy and a girl become really good friends and depend on each other. But it is really hard in this situations for one person to not develop more intimate feelings. Which seems to be the guys problem, he has strong feelings for this girl. Hence why he felt "jealous". Keep in mind the girl said "I don't want other girls touching you". What do you think would happen if other girls touched him? She would feel jealous wouldn't she? Edited June 21, 2015 by Sorarocks93 3 Col.Random, Aang and The 13th Kenpachi reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The 13th Kenpachi 4,279 Posted June 21, 2015 I'm sorry but, isn't she acting a bit selfish too? She said "I don't want other girls touching you'". I have three points to make about this. First: She would only say that if she has feelings for you. Second: She says that, but gets upset when you basically say the same thing to her. Third: Why even get upset because you're expressing you own feelings? It's not fair to you is it? If you keep repressing your own feelings you're the one who will get a depression in the end. Depressions don't just come out of nowhere. So in conclusion, why are you just friends and not in a relationship when there's clearly something more going on between you too. That's basically the next step after "best friends" Maybe you should have went with another approach, like instead of telling her you're jealous tell her you like her in a way more than that just best friends. That would probably make her happier and make her stop seeing other guys too. Keep in mind the girl said "I don't want other girls touching you". What do you think would happen if other girls touched him? She would feel jealous wouldn't she? I will PM you Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Col.Random 3,683 Posted June 21, 2015 You should apologise to her, but she owes you an apology as well.It sounds like she was being pretty irrational. She says she doesn't want other girls touching you, but then goes ahead and does "some things with a guy at a party (you're gonna need to be a bit specific about what kind of things, because that affects a large part of this argument. Since I don't know what those things are that she did I'm going to assume she kissed or had sex with him).Now she's mad at you for telling her how you felt about that. That seems silly, it's like she's only thinking about what would affect her, not about what would affect YOU.Why should someone's feelings suddenly be of lesser importance just because he isn't diagnosed with depression? 1 Sorarocks93 reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The 13th Kenpachi 4,279 Posted June 21, 2015 You should apologise to her, but she owes you an apology as well.It sounds like she was being pretty irrational. She says she doesn't want other girls touching you, but then goes ahead and does "some things with a guy at a party (you're gonna need to be a bit specific about what kind of things, because that affects a large part of this argument. Since I don't know what those things are that she did I'm going to assume she kissed or had sex with him).Now she's mad at you for telling her how you felt about that. That seems silly, it's like she's only thinking about what would affect her, not about what would affect YOU.Why should someone's feelings suddenly be of lesser importance just because he isn't diagnosed with depression? i'll message you now Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aang 649 Posted June 21, 2015 You should apologize to her, plain and simple. Though you aren't the only one at fault here. Like the others above explained- both of you should apologize. I think it's only bet you go to her, and not her family. Feel free to PM me, I'd love to help. 1 The 13th Kenpachi reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The 13th Kenpachi 4,279 Posted June 21, 2015 Thank you so much everyone for your support, thank you. Her and I spoke a few hours ago, if you wanna know PM me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
