terraxaqua34 98 Posted August 1, 2010 chatper 1 the meeting i went to the graveyard. i knew he was here i could feel him. i enter the graveyard. i went to my moms grave. i went there everyday. today was differnt he was behind me. '' arm transform " i yelled. boom! ''good evening mr.earl'' i said.'' you" said the earl. ''thts right its me seth walker" i said. the earl rush toward me, but i knock him back. when he got up he made dark energy balls. he fired one of them. i dodge the best i could. he fired the other one. it hit badly! i got up and when i look down a sword was in me. the earl pulled the sword ready for another swing. i blocked with my arm the best i could. slice! half of my arm was cut off. ''ahhhhhhh" i scream. the earl back up and powerd up a dark ball. he rush at me, i thought i was going to die. '' boom" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
terraxaqua34 98 Posted August 1, 2010 chapter 2 talking to the man tht saved me i founded myshelf in castle ruins. above me was a moon with a face on it. right when i was about to look up the imaged faded. i woke up in a bed which was werid cause i thought i died.'' finally awake'' said a man.'' wht happen'' i said.'' we founded u at the graveyard, you've been out for three days'' said the man.'' whts your name '' i said.'' names cody nice to meet u'' said cody '' how did i surive '' i said. '' i was watching the entie thing man. after your arm was cut off, the earl rush to you with a dark ball. i jump in fornt of him him and stike him down with my sword. after he retearted i look at you body and your arm was reattact. i mean it was like faith gave you another chance ith the arm'' said cody. i thought i died, but this guy saved me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blade of light and darkness 1 Posted August 2, 2010 nice so far but i want to see what will happen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AurorasSky69 5 Posted August 4, 2010 This is good please write more. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
terraxaqua34 98 Posted August 4, 2010 chapter 3 getting ready for a quest i got up from the bed and walked outside.the town tht was near here was gone.'' thts the work from the earls army seth'' said cody.'' wht do u mean army''.''the earl has been grouping up people for his army and me and other people r joining forces to beat the army and we need u said cody.i thought this war is gonna bring the end of the world.i needed to find him i thought.''hey cody do u know a person named cross'' i said.'' yea i do why'' said seth.''hes my master and i need him to train me''i said''cool his house is only three days from here we can leave in a while''cody said.i thought he can talk me to him.all right time to pack. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AurorasSky69 5 Posted August 4, 2010 This is really good ;D Please write more I want to find out what happens!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
terraxaqua34 98 Posted August 4, 2010 chapter 4 we meet starnge people me and cody got ready.i thought maybe we can stop the earl.''you ready'' said cody. '' yea'' i said.we left camp and i said in my mind.mom i will be back.we went to the forest and it was stange every where i saw there were x-slashs.''this is stange seth maybe swordmens r around here''said cody.we kept on walking until this.''look out seth'' said cody as he blocked two kunais.two people came with swords i block with my transform arm against the sword and cody blocked with his sword.i know this people i thought.''well well u never came bac''said a man.i saw the man!'' cross'' i yelled.'' hey''said cross. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AurorasSky69 5 Posted August 4, 2010 This is really good write more!!;D Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
terraxaqua34 98 Posted August 4, 2010 chapter 5 talking to my master we went with master cross to his house and went inside.''so why did u came bac seth''said cross asking seth.''well u see i need to get stronger so we can stop the earl''said seth.''alright fine ill train u but you must let me see your wound''said cross.i thought good he can train me.i transform my arm showing him my sword wound from my fight with the earl.''wht happen''said cross.''well about tht i went to my moms grave and then one thing lead to another and i fought the earl i lost and cody saved me''i said.later tht day! master said he would train me after i get my arm fixed but its right here on my body this is stange i hav to fight a girl great.flashback of the day!'' listen for me to train u. u must fight her''said cross as a girl came into the room. i knew her. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Naminé15 0 Posted August 4, 2010 Your grammar is not perfect - neither is mine -. I'm curious about the end of the story. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
terraxaqua34 98 Posted August 4, 2010 chapter 6 the war begins i went to sleep but when i did i had i stange dream.the earl was healing himshelf from his attack from cody.''tht bart will pay''said earl.''you called master''said a man.''you must find seth walker and hav him killed''said the earl.the image faded to a battle.a town was in ruins only like 3 people were fighting the army.it was the earls army tht was attacking the town before i could see the people,i think i saw myshelf there. i woke and got ready for the fight.i got to the training ground.the girl was waiting for me.''whts your name''i said.''my name is konan''she said.''all right lets get started''said konan.konan rush to me with her two blades.my arm transform and blocked the first one.''fine lets get this started''i said ready for a fight. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stardustblade358 806 Posted August 4, 2010 Impressive.I like it!You should write more.This story is very interesting. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
terraxaqua34 98 Posted August 4, 2010 chatper 7 i fight a girl konan back off and rush again.i kept dodgeing her swords.i rushed to her and knock her away and made sure she wasnt going to attack which she didnt.she put her swords in the ground and then she just turned into paper i couldnt find her at all.then out of no where she apper behind me and punch me in the gut.i jump and in the sky leading into the ground again. ''cross grave'' i yelled.when i hit the ground almost 12 crosses came out of the fround and attacked her.with tht move she was beaten.''wow your good i never tht u leared tht move from cross seth''said konan.''he didnt teach me it i just leared right now''isaid.''guys hope you 2 finished your fight because we r leaving and konan your coming with us''said cody Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stardustblade358 806 Posted August 4, 2010 Please write more!It's really good!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ai Enma 7 Posted August 4, 2010 I love it is really good, but please right more. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blade of light and darkness 1 Posted August 4, 2010 excellent please write more Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
terraxaqua34 98 Posted August 5, 2010 chapter 8 we set off me,cody and konan were about set off to stop the earl.cross came up to me and said''becare seth and do not use tht move''.''got it'' i said.we left the house.i thought we might really stop the earl and the war.when we were walking in the forest a paper bomb landed and created a big boom.''i found seth and cody'' said a man.''how did this guy find us''said seth.''my name is yami and now u must die''said yami as he rush to cody and seth. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stardustblade358 806 Posted August 5, 2010 Write more please! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
khven 0 Posted August 6, 2010 not bad, in fact, it was simple, but interesting, and able to draw a person in good job, write more Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
heartless101 83 Posted August 6, 2010 I reccomend you capitalsize your letters when it is necessary Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Space Cowboy 1,392 Posted August 6, 2010 I recommend a full grammar check, and more detailed information. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Think Pink 1,967 Posted August 6, 2010 I recommend a full grammar check, and more detailed information. Yeah. I mean, if something easy to read, naturally you'll like it better, rather than trying to figure out what on Earth it says. So, you know, spell check at the end, or just check yourself as you type. I type pretty quickly and I don't think I have too many spelling errors, and I don't use spell check. It only takes a few seconds, and it makes it easier for everyone. ^^ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
heartless101 83 Posted August 6, 2010 if you really GOT a A+ in English, then use what you use in English and use it on the forum. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Naminé15 0 Posted August 8, 2010 I agree, about your grammar - you could use Microsoft Word to type the text-, but the plot is getting more and interesting. I got only one doubt: what's an Earl? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites