How the Zombie Stole Christmas

[MyDixieRect 2,061]

'Twas the night before Christmas and everyone was a-snore,

Dracozombie thought "I've seen 25 Christmases, I shan't see one more!"

Then she devised a plan to sneak into the houses of those of KH13

The very thought tickled what was in her panties, oh she was so keen!

 

So she rode Winner  her sled into KH13 land, just oozing dread,

Then she saw Lea and Xaon asleep on the bed,

Draco giggled "Oh, you think you'll spend Christmas having sex?"

"Well think again, and enjoy this hex!" 

Then she wriggled her finger and so shrunk Xaon's dick

No longer 69 inches, just plain 66!

 

Her job was done here and she moved on to Rox,

"Nyeheheh, I'll take these gold locks!"

Then she took out her long nails and cut off his hair

Not a hair on his head but down there...would she dare?

RoxSox was not quite an adult at a mere 17

Not that you could tell, as he was a badass killing machine

But Draco did always have a thing for teens

So without any lube she shaved off his pubes--it was squeaky clean!

 

Her night of debauchery was far from its end

There was still Shana KH13's genderbend(er)

Asleep at her laptop with her WoW accounts still open.

Draco thought "I really shouldn't but I love to hear Shana moping!"

So she goofed around on her account and got her all banned

But what was worse was the curry smell on Shana's indian hands!

This irritated Draco, she could take no more!

"Here's a slap Shana!", "No, wait! How about two...three...FOUR!"

 

Shana was sure to wake up with a bruise, so off Draco went, still on the loose!

She arrived at Shulk's house and stood over his Wii.

"Now..." said Draco "If we're speaking literally..."

Then she pulled down her pants like she had no potty training

All over the Wii the gold started raining

You can't spell Shulk without HULK so Draco had be scarce

If he'd woken up through that Shulk would have turned green and crushed her with his chest!

 

Lalalalablahblah, oh sweet little Nicki.

An innocent girl sleeping next to a giant weed stash 

She'd hoped to smoke half and sell the other for more cash

Also on the counter was a ticket to Colorado

Draco thought "Oh ho ho, I know why, bravo!"

But Draco was on a mission she had to ruin this Christmas,

So she put the money in the bag and made off with the cash,

But little did Draco know this would bite her in the ass

 

 

MasterRoxas13 was very close by,

Just sleeping, not flirting with Lala like he did all July

"Never flirt with me will you! I'll show you what your missing!"

And with her very dry lips she hadn't licked all summer

She ran those same lips all over and under

She hoped should MasterRoxas wake up the next day

He'd have found the experience so poor he'd think "Oh maybe I'm gay?"

 

Next on Draco's Wrath was Mercury Black,

Blackbelt, kickboxer yet Draco attacked,

Not physically for Draco stood no chance,

She headed right for his anime collection, proclaiming "Let's dance!"

With a swing of his sash Draco was strangled,

Befitting, as she looks like Mother Gothel from Tangled

Defeated she made her escape

Onward she went, huffing like an ape

 

But it didn't stop there, her eyes set on Firaga Sensei,

Draco had to be quick or he'd cook her al dente,

As she entered the flat she made a quick dash right for the tree

"I won't let you do this" Draco heard, "I swear on Android 18!"

Draco replied "you're dealing with the devil!"

Firaga, unfazed, said "GET ON MY LEVEL"

A battle was about to be fought,

Draco hadn't the time, 'twas almost half past four

So she made a quick dash, and ripped Firaga's posters straight from the wall

Draco escaped leaving the written message "Hahahaha LAWL!"

 

Last but not least was Ol' Weedanort,

He was as tall as Draco was short,

The difference in height was like night and day,

But at 4"11 she still sounded like Sean Connery

But that wasn't enough, he had to pay, Draco would snort,

"I'll chop of his nose and blacken his skin, that damn Weedanort"

He now looked like the nasty love child of old Xehanort and Voldemort

 

Then around came the very next day,

Draco expected to make everyone pay,

Yet in everyone's house there was nothing but love

Was it a miracle? The work of Winner above?

 

Though Xaon's penis was now only 66,

It was better this way -- he was always too big!

 

Though Rox was now bald it was nothing to bother,

The sexy librarian still loved him one way or another!

 

Though Shana's hands still smelled of curry,

She had plenty of WoW accounts still at level 99,

So Draco accomplished nothing thanks to Shana's lack of social life.

 

Though Draco had weed all over his Wii,

Shulk didn't care in fact in fact he was filled with glee

For now he only played the Wii U,

Draco defiled the wrong console, ha! What a screw!

 

Lala had enemies so that cash was a fake, a decoy, can be used to no avail!

Should Draco use it then she's off to jail!

 

MasterRoxas13 with his newly found sexuality

Was now free to romance with the one known as Ruby.

 

Weedanort may be black and noseless,

But with his new found wise looks, Portugal came to know him as the Portuguese Moses.

 

For her 25th Christmas Draco accomplished nothing,

So off to Winner's she went for some cold black lovin'!

Edited December 24, 2014 by Winner's Proof

[Emrys 3,192]

I no see me.

T.T

[MyDixieRect 2,061]

I no see me.

T.T

 

That has been changed.

 

(or was it there all along...?)

Edited December 24, 2014 by Winner's Proof

[Weedanort 8,786]

OMFG

 

I'm the Portuguese Moses

[Firaga 5,947]

Well... that was a thing.

 

I kinda want to see how you'd insert me into this story.

Edited December 24, 2014 by Firaga Sensei

[Javelin434 3,164]

It's community stuff like this that makes this place awesome!

I needed the laugh

[Emrys 3,192]

I see me. how did you know I kickbox?

oh wait, nevermind dumb question

[Dracozombie 4,554]

What terrifies me is that it seems like you put EFFORT into this. It's eerily realistic. I don't know how you knew of my secret power to shrink willies.

 

Oh well, the lesson here is never try to ruin things because it might end up working out for the people you want to spite. Happy holidays! Here's to many more years of dick-dom.

[HarLea Quinn 26,501]

What terrifies me is that it seems like you put EFFORT into this. It's eerily realistic. I don't know how you knew of my secret power to shrink willies.

 

Oh well, the lesson here is never try to ruin things because it might end up working out for the people you want to spite. Happy holidays! Here's to many more years of dick-dom.

 

Cheers to Draco and her delicious dicks stories bwahahahahaha!

 

 

 

@ Winner ILU

Edited December 24, 2014 by Flaming Lea

[Hargleblargleboo 979]

This will go on to be a KH13 classic.

 

I really hope no one gets banned because of it.

[MyDixieRect 2,061]

Well... that was a thing.

 

I kinda want to see how you'd insert me into this story.

 

Done.

 

What terrifies me is that it seems like you put EFFORT into this. It's eerily realistic. I don't know how you knew of my secret power to shrink willies.

 

Oh well, the lesson here is never try to ruin things because it might end up working out for the people you want to spite. Happy holidays! Here's to many more years of dick-dom.

 

You revealed them to me during a drunken night of escapades. You don't remember? It was one of the best nights of my life. ;_;

 

Cheers to Draco and her delicious dicks stories bwahahahahaha!

 

 

 

@ Winner ILU

 

Interesting choice of words hahah. xDD

 

ILU2 Lea<3 

[Demyx. 10,064]

You are such a poet Winner! But my Peen. D8 That's ok. Im married now. I dont have to impress anybody now anyways. 

[HarLea Quinn 26,501]

Done.

 

 

You revealed them to me during a drunken night of escapades. You don't remember? It was one of the best nights of my life. ;_;

 

 

Interesting choice of words hahah. xDD

 

ILU2 Lea

 

A very deliberate choice of words

[MyDixieRect 2,061]

You are such a poet Winner! But my Peen. D8 That's ok. Im married now. I dont have to impress anybody now anyways. 

 

Yet you do consistently with your wife, I'm sure. What a champ you are, Demyx!

 

And 66 inches is still plenty!

Edited December 24, 2014 by Winner's Proof

[Gamerazor247 877]

Pfft Dr.Seuss ain't got nothin on you eh Winner

This holiday poem deserves a rating of stocking full of coal :>

[Shana09 5,769]

LMAO love the poem. I guess that immunity came in hand.

[Welchholo 2]

I appreciate you sharing this forum. Cool.

[RoxSox 3,593]

That was magical.

[Skai 3,961]

This is going in the timeline. A masterpiece!