77 Reasons Why FFVII is Literally the Worst Game Ever Made

[hatok 6,413]

1. The graphics have aged terribly

2. Cloud Strife is a stupid name

3. The main characters literally murders thousands of innocents and never has to answer for it

4. Translation is awful

5. Really quite buggy

6. Tifa Lockheart is a stupid name

6. Way too much backtracking

7. Backtracking often not worth it

8. Seriously, the rewards for Fort Condor are worthless

9. Way too easy to become game breakingly powerful without trying

10. Materia takes way too long to level up

11. Barret is a stupid name

12. Barret is a bit of a racist caricature

13. Way too much missable stuff

14. Like Zack, that's important plot stuff

15. Lucrecia too

16. Red XIII is a stupid name

17. What, did Hojo literally just name him after the first thing he saw?

18. The game builds up Sephiroth as a super badass but he never gets a challenging boss fight

19. Yuffie is a stupid name

20. What's even the point of getting Aerith's final limit break

21. No music while snowboarding

22. Speaking of which, all of the mini games are awful

23. Remember that stupid button pressing mini game at the start? Seriously, such a waste of programming

24. Cloud looks nothing like he should if you get the best cross dressing items

25. Nobody in Advent Children has gigantic forearms

26. Overly long magic animations that look, quite frankly, awful, and were clearly just tech demos

27. Shinra is the worst evil corporation ever

28. Like seriously, Shinra isn't even turning a profit from being evil, that's evil business 101

29. Rufus Shinra is a stupid name

30. Shinra in Final Fantasy X-2 is the first name of said kid, as such Rufus' last name should not be Shinra, as it's not the family name

31. Kjaata is such a bad summon, why make it even remotely hard to get?

32. The dialog following Aeris' death is hilariously cringeworthy

33. Good to know that super iconic Buster Sword Cloud uses gets dropped in the bottom of the inventory after about 20 minutes of gameplay

34. Did we really need three Bahamuts

35. After all the trouble Cloud goes through to get pretty underwear, it doesn't count towards his cross dressing score

36. Sephiroth isn't even a One Winged Angel

37. Is singlehandedly the reason why people pronounce it "Cayte Sith" 

38. Want to send yourself into a catatonic shock? Try playing the 3D chocob racing game on a big TV screen! (those colours!)

39. The Golden Saucer

40. G Bike is so fiddling it's actually crazy

41. It's literally imossible to beat that rock em sock em robots type rock paper scissors game. You just fight an invisible guy woh always wins. You can't get the best reward

42. You can't use the replica Masamune

43. Why is there even a water element? There are like three water attacks

44. It is way too easy to get Omnislash way too early

45. Why in this world of sci fi is there a Chocobo Wizard

46. Going on a date with Barret implies you want to date Marlene who is like 5

47. Tifa owns her own business, why doesn't she have a bunch of money

48. Aeris is a dumb name, and Aerith is just plain hard to pronounce

49. Yuffie doesn't put your Materia back in the right places after you get it back

50. Sephiroth can just sort of fly. No reason, he just does

51. Sephiroth's reasoning for going crazy and burning everything is really flimsy

52. And why does it take him literally weeks anyways, when his reasoning comes down to a few words?

53. Does Cloud not have any internal organs? He seems to get stabbed in the chest a lot for an alive person

54. Is summoning celestial bodies just a thing people do in the FFVII world? Cloud can just summon meteors without Materia, and Sephiroth apparently could use Supernova before the events of FFVII

55. So the life stream can just kinda do whatever it wants as the plot demands, right?

56. Why does Vincent Valentine act like a vampire? There's absolutely nothing related to his experiments that suggests he should, and his powers don't even resemble vampire powers. What's the point of sleeping in a tomb, anyways?

57. Yuffie

58. If there exists a materia that can make a duplicate of any item a person uses, why are there slums in Midgar at all? Surely this would end world hunger, power shortages, just about anything

59. Why does Sephiroth wait for Cloud to show up adn try to force him to kill Aerith rather than just do it himself right away and ensure nothing goes wrong

60. "Let's mosey"

61. the entire middle of this game is a jumbled mess

62. How did Cloud get the way he acts from Zack's personality? I don't remember Zack being such as asshole

63. Tiny Bronco is not a literal tiny bronco

64.. Cid is so forgettable I forgot to include anything about him

65. It's not FFXIII

66. It's not Lightning Returns

67. It's not FFXIII-2

68. It's not FFI

69. It's not FFII

70. It's not FFIII

71. It's not FFVIII

72. It's not FFX

73. It's not FFXII

74. It's not FFIV

75. It's not FFV

76. It's not FFVI

77. It's not FFIX

 

and that's why objectively and factually FFVII is the worst video game ever made

possibly the worst thing to ever happen, who knows

 

[HeyMouseSayCheese 1,133]

77 is an odd number for a list. This is objectively and factually the worst list ever made and you are literally worse than Hitler.

[Shulk 8,623]

I know this was partly a joke but honestly I can't freaking stand how the background and foreground in maps look so similar. I'd get stuck trying to figure out where to go because the path I was supposed to take looked like the background.

[hatok 6,413]

I know this was partly a joke but honestly I can't freaking stand how the background and foreground in maps look so similar. I'd get stuck trying to figure out where to go because the path I was supposed to take looked like the background.

partly is the key word

FFVII has plenty of flaws

the useless mapping is one of them

Edited December 21, 2014 by hatok

[Demyx. 10,064]

It looks like crap. But it's fun and it makes me laugh. So, I'm cool with it. 

[HarLea Quinn 26,501]

Oh Hatok  

[Guest]

Clickbate!

[Hero of Light XIV 2,381]

Whatever.  :dry:

[Shulk 8,623]

partly is the key word

FFVII has plenty of flaws

the useless mapping is one of them

I enjoy the game, but holy crap is it flawed. I'll admit that the crappy translation was one of my favorite parts though, just because of how much it made me laugh. "This guy are sick."

[Daniel Black 1,981]

Seems legit. Well done Hatok

[hatok 6,413]

I enjoy the game, but holy crap is it flawed. I'll admit that the crappy translation was one of my favorite parts though, just because of how much it made me laugh. "This guy are sick."

Off course!

[Aqua7KH 5,395]

Tl;dr

Sorry that's like such a long list

[hatok 6,413]

Tl;drSorry that's like such a long list

Basically:

 

1. The game have aged terribly

 

and that's why objectively and factually FFVII is the worst video game ever made

possibly the worst thing to ever happen, who knows

it's worse than twin Hitlers

[Movies798 1,358]

Bro you mad?

[hatok 6,413]

Bro you mad?

mad mad

Edited December 21, 2014 by hatok

[Psychic_Ketchup 367]

I agree with most of the items on the list, but don't forget that other FFs also have some stupid shit in them.

[hatok 6,413]

I agree with most of the items on the list, but don't forget that other FFs also have some stupid shit in them.

so what you're saying is I should make more lists

[Psychic_Ketchup 367]

If you've got the time, yeah! The FF series are among my favourite games, but they're also kinda dumb. I mean for firetruck sake, you go into outer space in FF8 for little to no reason.

[AuraAce 1,126]

Sonic 06

Sonic Boom

Bubsy 3D

Superman 64

Big Rigs Racing

Aquaman

Ride to Hell Retribution

E.T 

Shaq Fu

Steel Battalion: Heavy Armour

The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct.

Star Trek

 

I rest my case. FFVII is not a bad game.

[hatok 6,413]

Sonic 06

Sonic Boom

Bubsy 3D

Superman 64

Big Rigs Racing

Aquaman

Ride to Hell Retribution

E.T 

Shaq Fu

Steel Battalion: Heavy Armour

The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct.

Star Trek

 

I rest my case. FFVII is not a bad game.

at least in those games they don't have giant horrendous chunks of flesh where arms should be

[AuraAce 1,126]

at least in those games they don't have giant horrendous chunks of flesh where arms should be

No, that's not an argument. Every game I listed there is worse than FFVII. Graphics didn't mean shit back then.

Edited December 21, 2014 by Scottish Skarmory

[hatok 6,413]

Graphics didn't mean shit back then.

...yes they did?

Graphics have mattered in games since the dawn of video games

it's the video part of the video game

and they've been a push factor and selling point for as long

[AuraAce 1,126]

...yes they did?

Graphics have mattered in games since the dawn of video games

it's the video part of the video game

and they've been a push factor and selling point for as long

No one back then cared as much as people do now.

[hatok 6,413]

No one back then cared as much as people do now.

not true at all

look at old game ads

blast processing

"Graphics so real you can smell the burnt rubber"

step into a vibrant new world

It has always been a thing

[AuraAce 1,126]

not true at all

look at old game ads

blast processing

"Graphics so real you can smell the burnt rubber"

step into a vibrant new world

It has always been a thing

I didn't mean it like that. Also Ads have nothing to do with what I was talking about, obviously ads would have promoted the graphics, ads will promote everything, that's why they're there. I was speaking of graphics from a gamer's point of view, graphics wasn't a big factor in people's verdicts on games, just look at Spyro 2 for example, the graphics in that are, compared to today's standards, shit, to say the least, but it was an amazing game back then, graphics didn't deter players from playing it, neither did the graphics of FFVII deter people from playing it and finding it good either.