Firaga 5,947 Posted May 6, 2014 (edited) Oh boy. As a very, very very very VERY big Spider Man fan, I have a lot to say about what I am going to review today, and fair warning: most of it is going to be bad. I don't know if I've expressed this before in the past, but I have a sort of difficult relationship with the Spider Man SR trilogy. But, I'll explain that through my reviews of all three movies. These won't be that long, I'll just address the general concepts of the movies and give my thoughts on them. Now lets get web swinging. (NOTE: All reviews will be put in spoilers to lessen the length of this post as well as the fact that I'm going to discuss each movie as a whole, including their endings. So if you haven't seen any of these movies (which tbh, you're kinda lucky if you haven't, but still), then I highly suggest you at least watch these movies first then come back and read what I have to say.) Here's the first movie, "Spider Man", released in 2002. Ah, yes. The first Spider Man movie. How giddy the vast majority of us were when we found out our favorite web slinger was getting his own movie. Granted, this was 2002, and the only other Marvel movies that came out before Spidey were two Blade movies and the first X-Men movie, so as a Marvel fan back in the day, I'm sure it was even more of an exciting experience. But nostalgia aside, lets get down to the movie in general: So, since this is the first movie, the plot obviously involves the origin story of Peter Parker, aka Spider Man, as well as Spider Man encountering one of his most famous and most personal arch foes in his rouge's gallery, the Green Goblin. Now, here's what I don't like about the movie: first off, the pacing is too quick. We don't get enough time for all our characters on screen to develop or stick in our minds, maybe save for the more important characters, obviously, but still. Even the way they handled the classic origin process, with Peter getting bit by the spider, his uncle Ben dying, and then Parker killing the man who murdered his uncle, was really fast. Speaking of Parker, he's really downplayed in this movie. I don't necessarily blame Toby Maguire, the actor that played him in, but the fact that we never really saw him as an actual nerd an an intellect, further downplaying that with the fact that his web powers were organic and he didn't need to build web shooters like in the comics, really bugs me. The portrayal of two other characters also bug me: Mary Jane Watson (Parker's love interest) and Norman Osborn (aka Green Goblin). I'll admit, Kirsten Dunst (who plays Watson) isn't my favorite actress in the world by any means, so that played a part in me not liking the character. Though what really hits the nail on the head was the fact that she was, like Peter, downgraded into a flat and stereotypical damsel-in-distress. In the comics, she had way more of a personality and likability, but here, she's just a Lois Lane copy. As for Osborn, his actor I actually really like (that being Willem Dafoe), but still, his character as Osborn and the Green Goblin was really, for lack of a better word, cheesy. His character, on paper, is the same as it is in the comics: a psychotic man with split personalities and numerous other mental problems who is both cruel and calculating while at the same time downright scary. Still, in the movie, he's just played so over the top it's not even that convincing to me at times. He literally talks to his Green Goblin mask at one point, as if the mask represented his darker more sinister side while Osborn grovelled to it like he was some kind of victim. It was kinda pathetic really. Overall, the story was still okay, I guess; they got the basic elements of the origin story down as well as Spidey taking on Goblin. For the most part, it could have gone way way way WAY better if more time and more substance was put into it. I give this movie a B minus, and that's just me being nice. Watch it if you like Spider Man or if you just want to watch a good superhero movie. Also, "Hero" by Chad Kroeger and Josey Scott in the credits is damn good. I don't care what you think about Nickelback or even Saliva, give these two guys props for this song. Now onto "Spider Man 2", released in 2004. Okay, now this movie as a whole improved on some things that the first movie fell flat on, but it also added a lot more bad. Oi vey. But I'll be nice and say the good things first, which boil down to the action, the effects, and the overall pacing of the film as well. They actually had more substance than they did in the last movie. However, in retrospect, it wasn't that much of an improvement as even with that added substance, it's still rather lackluster. Speaking of lackluster, let's get on with the negatives. And there are a lot of them. First off, the motivation behind Peter Parker's character in this film. In the last film's ending, we see him accepting that he and Mary Jane can't be together because he wants to keep her safe, yet in this film (and even into the next film believe it or not), he's still trying to vie for her affection even though a) he obviously accepted that they can't be together in the last film, so forget continuity and b) the actions that he takes in this film to get with her, which I'll explain in a bit. Let's get this thing out of the way first: the villain of the movie. The villain of the movie is Doctor Octopus, another one of Spidey's most famous arch foes. Now, this character is screwed up, not in a sense of how his character is written, but how it is handled as an adaption from the comics. They make it seem like you're supposed to feel sorry for him because of what happens to him, how he gets his robotic arms and becomes Doc Ock, how apparently he's pulling another Norman freaking Osborn in the last movie and trying to make it seem like he's a victim to his own power. It's even more pathetic here, because it ruins the character overall. There's also a subplot with Harry Osborn, Norman Osborn's son, who in the first film didn't really have any direction other than getting pissed at his father dying to Spider Man, and in this film, he's in cahoots with Doc Ock and helps him develop the tech for his arms as well as find out Spider Man's true identity, which later transitions to a hint near the end of the movie where he might become the new Green Goblin to avenge his father. Does he though? Well, we'll see. Let's put a cap on this movie however. One last thing I want to get out of the way is how the "Spider Man No More" story arc was handled in this movie. Now, the Spider Man No More story arc was a one issue arc in the comics where, if you can't tell, Spider Man gives up being Spider Man. In the film, there's a point in the story where Parker gives up his superhero identity after he finds out his powers aren't working and that he is conflicted with whether or not its worth being a superhero if he has to deal with people he loves being distant from him and all that junk. However, the motivation for Parker, unlike the comic, is... really skewed. First off, apparently in this series, when Peter is feeling mopey, his powers don't work. That's pretty much the only reason he had power problems in the first place. Yeah... second off, the reason he decides to become Spider Man again is not because he knows that he needs to carry his responsibility with his powers, as his uncle told him quite famously... but because Mary Jane got in trubs, so he decided to put the suit on again.... Yep. That's it. Only reason. He just wanted to get in her pants. Like he's been trying to do the whole damn film.... *sigh* I think I'm done. For the most part, this movie was really really bad. In the end, Spidey saves Mary Jane, Doc Ock goes down as a bitch, we have the Harry Osborn/Green Goblin tease, and all is right in the world. Oh yeah, and Mary Jane also leaves her then fiance, the son of J. Johan Jameson at the altar so she can be with Parker, and given both their characters overall in this film... bitch move, Mary. Bitch move. I give this movie a solid C minus. Again, I'm trying to be nice here. I only recommend this movie to true Spider Man fans who just want to say that they watched it, or again, if you just want to watch a good superhero movie, because it's passable in that sense, but nowhere near the first film in either senses. And finally, we end with "Spider Man 3", released in 2007. .... *sigh* You know, you'd think after two movies and a three year gap after the last movie, you'd expect higher standards for a threequel. But no... no no no no NO. This movie, as both a Spider Man movie, and a movie altogether, is horrible. Horrible horrible horrible. Everything that sucked about the last film got turned up to eleven in this film. Best way to describe it. Peter and Mary Jane are assholes, the villains are crappy, the story is firetrucked, and it just leaves a bad taste in one's mouth after you watched it. The only reason I survived watching this three times (Yes, three times) is because I saw this as a kid. Boy, do I wish I never saw it at all. I'd rather watch the third Transformers film again than this shit. Okay, so let me get into detail, let me sludge through the crap and explain why this movie sucks. First the villains: New Goblin. Yes, that hint from the last film was true, in this movie, Harry Osborn becomes the next Green Goblin, in the form of the labeled "New Goblin"... but... blegh, this is just laughable. He doesn't even wear a good costume. It looks like he took some biker and skiing gear, painted it green, and then put hover engines on his freaking snowboard. Oh yeah, and there's this subplot thrown in after Peter meets/fights the New Goblin for the first time where Harry loses his memory of Parker being Spidey, only to get it later in the movie, hate Spidey and Parker again, he tries to steal Mary Jane away from him, he even gets into a fist fight of all things with Parker, and then later becomes a ALLY to Spider Man after his butler, his FREAKING butler, after what seems like eons ago when Norman was killed, confesses to Harry that Spidey didn't kill his father, but it was from his own blade off the Goblin hoverboard. Yeah. He didn't feel like telling him, I don't know, RIGHT AFTER HIS DAD WAS KILLED, or maybe in the last film, where he started showing signs of his hatred growing deep so that all this crap could have been avoided?! Nah, nah, let it fester inside so we can get a random fist fight with James Franco and Toby Maguire, whoopdee-freaking-do! *sigh* Alright, I'm gonna try to stay calm now. Anyways, next we have Sandman, who just like Doc Ock in the last movie (I'm starting to see a pattern here), is supposed to be a hardened criminal, but in this movie, he's trying to be portrayed as sympathetic with the whole ex wife/sick daughter/locket crap they throw in. Oh yeah, and get this: they actually reveal, in this movie, I shit you not, that SANDMAN is the one who originally killed Ben Parker. Yeah, it wasn't that skinny looking guy, although he played a part in it, but still, Sandman killed Ben. And to make it even worse, they make him a good guy in the end, after he almost kills Parker by transforming into a sand monster, and he tells Parker that it was all an accident and he didn't really mean to kill Ben and blah blah blah look at me I may be a villain but that doesn't mean I'm bad bullshit. And now... we have the last villain in the film... *sigh* Venom. Venom, Venom, Venom... do I even have to say anything about this villain? Do I really? I think that the overall abysmal, failed, cop out, and disrespecful version of Venom that we see in this movie is so Goddamned awful, I don't even need to say it. Just take the original badass villain that was in the comics and take a shit on him, and that's what we get in this movie. It's almost as bad as the Iron Man 3 Mandarin plot twist. And you know, I didn't even get to one of the worst aspects of this movie: the Symbiote Spider Man subplot. Long story short: Peter Parker turns into a even whiner, more arrogant, and more EMO version of the terrible person he was before. And he just reverts back to that terrible character after he gets rid of it. So, you know what? I'm done. This movie is a joke, and it call it a Spider Man movie is laughable. I give this movie a straight up F. Do not watch this piece of shit, whether you're a Spider Man fan or not. The only way possible you should even considering watching this movie is to make fun of how freaking terrible it is. Specifically with a group of friends. Okay, I've said all I've said. This is what I think of the Sam Raimi Spider Man movies. To sum up, the trilogy didn't start off that good, and it only got worse as it went on and on and on. Only the first movie has any merit to it whatsoever, as both a movie and an adaption of the Spider Man comics. The other two movies can go die in a hole with Ang Lee's Hulk and the Daredevil movie. Feel free to leave your own opinions about these three movies down below and respond to what you thought of my reviews. I hope to do more reviews like this in the future, for both movies and other stuff as well. Edited November 2, 2014 by Firaga Sensei Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoxSox 3,593 Posted May 6, 2014 You think if you were going to review the whole trilogy you'd know how to spell the Directors name. Good review though man. I don't completely agree but good review. 2 Firaga and Grotesquery reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kaweebo 3,617 Posted May 6, 2014 (edited) I disagree completely. They're all stupid movies, but I think Spider-Man 2 is the best out of all of them. Doesn't matter anyway since I think the Webb movies are better in every way, with ONE exception: Edited May 6, 2014 by Kaweebo 4 MythrilMagician, Grotesquery, Firaga and 1 other reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MythrilMagician 6,963 Posted May 6, 2014 Personally I reckon that Toby McGuire makes a better Peter Parker than Andrew Garfield, and changing Peter's crush AND school bully really got to me. Other than that I hope they bring some more serious villians in the upcoming Spider-Man movies. The Lizard and Electro are not really the most threatning... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
143436611Xxcc 1,105 Posted May 6, 2014 I agree in some cases. The lightheartedness of the films just came across as really cheesy, it's mainly the script that has the worst issues. I do agree with the character development to an extent. Harry and Normans relationship wasn't well developed like in TASM2. Mary Jane (as you said) is just an excuse for Peter to go save the day at times. Overall it lead up to a horrible death of Harry that no one cared about because it was to fast paced. Spider-Man 2 was the best out of the 3. Personally I reckon that Toby McGuire makes a better Peter Parker than Andrew Garfield, and changing Peter's crush AND school bully really got to me. Other than that I hope they bring some more serious villians in the upcoming Spider-Man movies. The Lizard and Electro are not really the most threatning... 1.) Gwen was Peters first REAL relationship.2.) Flash Tompson was still the bully (unless you mean cast wise) 3.) Yes, because someone with so much anger from being treated like shit his whole life with the ability to destroy Times Square, and end up shutting down the city isn't a scary thought at all. 2 Firaga and RoxSox reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dAlAzEr 46 Posted May 6, 2014 (edited) Wow, no offense, but you aren't the best at film (or any kind of) criticism. You should be more in-depth, and not say what you like and didn't like. Otherwise, this is not a review; this is just your thoughts. You're not a critic. Edited May 6, 2014 by dAlAzEr 1 143436611Xxcc reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grotesquery 603 Posted May 6, 2014 Wow, no offense, but you aren't the best at film (or any kind of) criticism. You should be more in-depth, and not say what you like and didn't like. Otherwise, this is not a review; this is just your thoughts. You're not a critic. 1 Firaga reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Transcendent Key 12,109 Posted May 6, 2014 You know, I really liked the reviews you made for these movies. When I was a kid, I loved them to death, but as I grew older, I realized they weren't as good as I had pictured them. But I will agree with Kaweebo that Spider-Man 2 was definitely awesome, but I much rather prefer Marc Webb's interpretation of the comics. He follows them more faithfully, and Andrew Garfield does an amazing job of portraying the wall-crawler, especially with the witty wisecracks! Anyways, I loved these reviews, and I'd love it if you reviewed Marc Webb's Spider-Man films! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Waller-pearson 60 Posted May 6, 2014 (edited) Take the time to look at thesehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrDwtLl1p0Ahttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ua8C_vsEc50https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aphO1Zd2kg Edited May 6, 2014 by Waller-pearson Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Transcendent Key 12,109 Posted May 6, 2014 Take the time to look at thesehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrDwtLl1p0Ahttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ua8C_vsEc50https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aphO1Zd2kg OMG, Cinemasins is the best! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Waller-pearson 60 Posted May 6, 2014 OMG, Cinemasins is the best! i know right, he needs to post more frequently. his videos are amazing and are just pure comedy!!!! people get so butthurt at him too!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Transcendent Key 12,109 Posted May 6, 2014 i know right, he needs to post more frequently. his videos are amazing and are just pure comedy!!!! people get so butthurt at him too!! Yesss, I love his videos. He makes me realize things I wouldn't have noticed in movies the first time around. I love his videos, and he's just too awesome! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Waller-pearson 60 Posted May 6, 2014 Yesss, I love his videos. He makes me realize things I wouldn't have noticed in movies the first time around. I love his videos, and he's just too awesome! and everytime i watch a movie, in my mind i just have the urge to point out sins lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites