Sora96's Lust for Power -HD ReMIX-

[Kittenz 4,281]

huehuehuehuhe

[Xiro 3,468]

*finally catches up* Dang. Didn't expect my concussion to last that long.

Also *clais*

EDIT 2: hilarious as usual. I especially liked the part of Xiro bursting into flames. Seems like something he would do xPDamn quota >_<

Xiro/Roi Mustang does not simply set himself on fire. -3-

I think I would be causing other people to burst into flames. Namely witches

[Daniel Black 1,981]

I just got five seconds of screentime... T_T Anyway it´s good, now we are facing the Almighty Sora96, Admin of KH13 (in story cannon)

[Snow 1,800]

hello friendsit is methat one guyjust popping in to make sure it's going goodroxget the laughs going again there weren't many laughsk bye

[Xiro 3,468]

hai snow

[Guest]

hello friendsit is methat one guyjust popping in to make sure it's going goodroxget the laughs going again there weren't many laughsk bye

Lord Snow, welcome.

[RoxSox 3,593]

hello friendsit is methat one guyjust popping in to make sure it's going goodroxget the laughs going again there weren't many laughsk bye

ye I know this thanks for the newsflash

[Hazimie 1,595]

No matter how much i read those chapters, the lust for reading more is striving me up! Keep going, for the love of God!

[Xiro 3,468]

No matter how much i read those chapters, the lust for reading more is striving me up! Keep going, for the love of God!

Spin-off Series: Hazimie's Lust for Reading /shotshot

[RoxSox 3,593]

huehuehuehuhe

 

Thank you for this informative response. I am glad you enjoyed it if that is indeed what you did.

 

"Time heals all wounds... but time moves only at the speed it desires, and sometimes, it's just not fast enough."

 

That's just beautiful.

 

I must honestly say I did not expect the story to take this route, but then again the fun of this story is that it's hard to know what to expect. Super Saiyan Sora gif was not expected, but hilarious.

 

...I'm not sure I want to know what 96 wishes to do with Aaron. X_X

Thank you Xiro I try

 

The story isn't really taking a fully dark route. I just felt it was important to have a contrast between the lolhappyjoyjoy of the rest of the story and the Act finale. Something had to happen to establish later events and to set up a bit of curiousity to where it goes next.

 

In retrospect I did get a bit dark. But hey.

 

I thought this was great, every act was great overall 10/10

I actually want to be part of the story or the rebellion against Super Sora96!!!!!!!!

 

Since you said you wanted to make DLC  short stories for other characters I would like to help you out with them or writing them for you then showing you if you like them enough, if you want.

I have a question if you do allow me to write short stories of other characters , which ones do you want me to write about ( or do you want me to write about all of them?) and how do you want me to tie into the next story?

 

The story has already one change in writer, I think doing it again with other members might be a bit much. I am not opposed to the idea of fanfiction though if someone were to want to write a L4P spin-off of their own, just whether I'd consider it canon would be the question. Thank you for the offer though, and thanks.

 

I was waiting for this gold mine of comedy to be revived!!!If S96 becomes too OP for erryone to take care of, throw a Kairi plushie at him. If he threatens the plushie... Well I wonder where you would take the story...

 

Funny mental image of Sora96 just going around wrecking shit and then someone just tosses a stuffed Kairi at him and he just explodes.

 

 

...Well, I'm dead...Damn. Make sure they find my Orbital Laser Brick Cannon system. If I was vaporized, I'm almost certain it won't help, but, oh well.Still, damn. So many dead. Why, RoxSox, why!

 

Who is Riki and what have you done with... whoever Riki was before the name change.

 

Dat finaleIt's like the red wedding from Game of Thrones all over again xDDo continue, I like where this story's going and your writing style certainly makes it even more fun to read

 

Thank ye Colonel.

You're going to be the subject of one of the "DLC" chapters, going through your adventures in between coming off the plane and joining the others, so stay tuned m8.

 

So Aaron disappears again 

 

Wherever did he go, no one knows.

huehuehuehuhe

 

Thank you for this informative response. I am glad you enjoyed it if that is indeed what you did.

 

"Time heals all wounds... but time moves only at the speed it desires, and sometimes, it's just not fast enough."

 

That's just beautiful.

 

I must honestly say I did not expect the story to take this route, but then again the fun of this story is that it's hard to know what to expect. Super Saiyan Sora gif was not expected, but hilarious.

 

...I'm not sure I want to know what 96 wishes to do with Aaron. X_X

Thank you Xiro I try

 

The story isn't really taking a fully dark route. I just felt it was important to have a contrast between the lolhappyjoyjoy of the rest of the story and the Act finale. Something had to happen to establish later events and to set up a bit of curiousity to where it goes next.

 

In retrospect I did get a bit dark. But hey.

 

I thought this was great, every act was great overall 10/10

I actually want to be part of the story or the rebellion against Super Sora96!!!!!!!!

 

Since you said you wanted to make DLC  short stories for other characters I would like to help you out with them or writing them for you then showing you if you like them enough, if you want.

I have a question if you do allow me to write short stories of other characters , which ones do you want me to write about ( or do you want me to write about all of them?) and how do you want me to tie into the next story?

 

The story has already one change in writer, I think doing it again with other members might be a bit much. I am not opposed to the idea of fanfiction though if someone were to want to write a L4P spin-off of their own, just whether I'd consider it canon would be the question. Thank you for the offer though, and thanks.

 

I was waiting for this gold mine of comedy to be revived!!!If S96 becomes too OP for erryone to take care of, throw a Kairi plushie at him. If he threatens the plushie... Well I wonder where you would take the story...

 

Funny mental image of Sora96 just going around wrecking shit and then someone just tosses a stuffed Kairi at him and he just explodes.

 

 

...Well, I'm dead...Damn. Make sure they find my Orbital Laser Brick Cannon system. If I was vaporized, I'm almost certain it won't help, but, oh well.Still, damn. So many dead. Why, RoxSox, why!

 

Who is Riki and what have you done with... whoever Riki was before the name change.

 

Dat finaleIt's like the red wedding from Game of Thrones all over again xDDo continue, I like where this story's going and your writing style certainly makes it even more fun to read

 

Thank ye Colonel.

You're going to be the subject of one of the "DLC" chapters, going through your adventures in between coming off the plane and joining the others, so stay tuned m8.

 

So Aaron disappears again 

 

Wherever did he go, no one knows.

[RoxSox 3,593]

THE L4P LIMITED EDITION DLC PACK, PREORDER TO GET EXCLUSIVE CONTENT!

 

PREORDER THE LUST 4 POWER DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT PACK NUMBER 1 AND YOU GET THREE, COUNT THEM, THREE SIDESTORY CHAPTERS THAT GO INTO THE INTRICATE DETAILS OF THE LUST 4 POWER UNIVERSE. YOU CAN'T PASS UP THIS DEAL!

 

BUT WAIT

 

THERE'S MORE

 

BUY THE SEASON PASS AND IN ADDITION TO DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT PACK NUMBER 1 YOU'LL ALSO GET A FREE RIDE FOR DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT PACK NUMBER 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, AND 13!

 

YOU CAN'T GET A PRICE BETTER THEN THIS ANYWHERE ELSE

 

YOU MIGHT REALIZE THAT I HAVEN'T ACTUALLY SAID WHAT THE PRICE IS YET

 

WELL HOLD ON TO YOUR ASS BECAUSE HERE IT COMES!

 

IT'S. TOTALLY. FREE.

 

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PUT IN YOUR PREORDER SO GO TO YOUR LOCAL FORUM AND ORDER NOW!

[Hazimie 1,595]

 

THE L4P LIMITED EDITION DLC PACK, PREORDER TO GET EXCLUSIVE CONTENT!

 

PREORDER THE LUST 4 POWER DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT PACK NUMBER 1 AND YOU GET THREE, COUNT THEM, THREE SIDESTORY CHAPTERS THAT GO INTO THE INTRICATE DETAILS OF THE LUST 4 POWER UNIVERSE. YOU CAN'T PASS UP THIS DEAL!

 

BUT WAIT

 

THERE'S MORE

 

BUY THE SEASON PASS AND IN ADDITION TO DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT PACK NUMBER 1 YOU'LL ALSO GET A FREE RIDE FOR DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT PACK NUMBER 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, AND 13!

 

YOU CAN'T GET A PRICE BETTER THEN THIS ANYWHERE ELSE

 

YOU MIGHT REALIZE THAT I HAVEN'T ACTUALLY SAID WHAT THE PRICE IS YET

 

WELL HOLD ON TO YOUR ASS BECAUSE HERE IT COMES!

 

IT'S. TOTALLY. FREE.

 

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PUT IN YOUR PREORDER SO GO TO YOUR LOCAL FORUM AND ORDER NOW!

ALL OF MY YES!!

[Col.Random 3,683]

 

THE L4P LIMITED EDITION DLC PACK, PREORDER TO GET EXCLUSIVE CONTENT!

 

PREORDER THE LUST 4 POWER DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT PACK NUMBER 1 AND YOU GET THREE, COUNT THEM, THREE SIDESTORY CHAPTERS THAT GO INTO THE INTRICATE DETAILS OF THE LUST 4 POWER UNIVERSE. YOU CAN'T PASS UP THIS DEAL!

 

BUT WAIT

 

THERE'S MORE

 

BUY THE SEASON PASS AND IN ADDITION TO DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT PACK NUMBER 1 YOU'LL ALSO GET A FREE RIDE FOR DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT PACK NUMBER 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, AND 13!

 

YOU CAN'T GET A PRICE BETTER THEN THIS ANYWHERE ELSE

 

YOU MIGHT REALIZE THAT I HAVEN'T ACTUALLY SAID WHAT THE PRICE IS YET

 

WELL HOLD ON TO YOUR ASS BECAUSE HERE IT COMES!

 

IT'S. TOTALLY. FREE.

 

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PUT IN YOUR PREORDER SO GO TO YOUR LOCAL FORUM AND ORDER NOW!

 

I know it's free and all, but damn I couldn't resist

[Ghost 1,857]

This is glorious. 

[Guest]

Thank you for this informative response. I am glad you enjoyed it if that is indeed what you did. Thank you Xiro I try  The story isn't really taking a fully dark route. I just felt it was important to have a contrast between the lolhappyjoyjoy of the rest of the story and the Act finale. Something had to happen to establish later events and to set up a bit of curiousity to where it goes next. In retrospect I did get a bit dark. But hey.  The story has already one change in writer, I think doing it again with other members might be a bit much. I am not opposed to the idea of fanfiction though if someone were to want to write a L4P spin-off of their own, just whether I'd consider it canon would be the question. Thank you for the offer though, and thanks.  Funny mental image of Sora96 just going around wrecking shit and then someone just tosses a stuffed Kairi at him and he just explodes.   Who is Riki and what have you done with... whoever Riki was before the name change.  Thank ye Colonel.You're going to be the subject of one of the "DLC" chapters, going through your adventures in between coming off the plane and joining the others, so stay tuned m8.  Wherever did he go, no one knows. Thank you for this informative response. I am glad you enjoyed it if that is indeed what you did. Thank you Xiro I try  The story isn't really taking a fully dark route. I just felt it was important to have a contrast between the lolhappyjoyjoy of the rest of the story and the Act finale. Something had to happen to establish later events and to set up a bit of curiousity to where it goes next. In retrospect I did get a bit dark. But hey.  The story has already one change in writer, I think doing it again with other members might be a bit much. I am not opposed to the idea of fanfiction though if someone were to want to write a L4P spin-off of their own, just whether I'd consider it canon would be the question. Thank you for the offer though, and thanks.  Funny mental image of Sora96 just going around wrecking shit and then someone just tosses a stuffed Kairi at him and he just explodes.   Who is Riki and what have you done with... whoever Riki was before the name change.  Thank ye Colonel.You're going to be the subject of one of the "DLC" chapters, going through your adventures in between coming off the plane and joining the others, so stay tuned m8.  Wherever did he go, no one knows.

IItNeverGetsBetterThanThis, AKA Crona, AKA IItNeverGetsBetterThanThis

[DragonMaster 1,166]

Thank you Xiro I try

 

The story isn't really taking a fully dark route. I just felt it was important to have a contrast between the lolhappyjoyjoy of the rest of the story and the Act finale. Something had to happen to establish later events and to set up a bit of curiousity to where it goes next.

 

In retrospect I did get a bit dark. But hey.

 

Not sure if making a joke that went over my head, responding to something other than what you quoted, or legitimately calling me Xiro...

 

(BTW, I'll put down my pre-order.)

[RoxSox 3,593]

Not sure if making a joke that went over my head, responding to something other than what you quoted, or legitimately calling me Xiro...

 

(BTW, I'll put down my pre-order.)

 

Oops shit goddamn I did the multi-quote thing and got all confuzzled

[RoxSox 3,593]

Lust  4 Power

The Downloadable Content

 Entry One: A Hedgehogs Journey

 

 

Colonel Random had already put down many chapters in his autobiography. Adventure was not foreign to him, for he had fought in the great Hedgehog Revolution of 20XX and had come out of the conflict a decorated hero. He had weathered the wilds of Hedgelax 9 and conquered the 5 seas of Hogland. Or at least, this was what he told people. Colonel Random had in fact never been through any sort of adventure. He was a hedgehog... adventure has a way of sweeping small furry creatures under the rug.

 

It was with this in mind that he had set out from his homeland to the grand continent of Australia, answering Aaron's call for members.

He stepped on that plane, a smile upon his adorable little hedgehog face, and stepped off that plane ready and raring to go.

 

Of course it was then that his plight became immediately apparent, for it was as he was stepping off the tarmac that Lalablah punted him a great diistance. As Random rolled to a stop, the thought occured to him that he was very small, and this world was very big. This thought did not stick around for long however, as he simply fixed the crown atop his head, stood back up, smiled, and then walked into the Australian sunset, yearning for adventure.

 

-

 

what will the colonel encounter first on his journey?

what will he experience?

what will he learn?

 

YOU'LL HAVE TO HOLD ON TO YOUR BUM AND FIND OUT LATER HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAA

 

we know where he ultimately ends up though lel(jk death isnt lel its a sad)

 

lul have a picture of a hedgehog in a cup

Edited September 19, 2014 by RoxSox

[Lalalablah 1,538]

Col. I'm so sorry!!!

 

The parts about him as a hedgehog never fail to make me laugh 

[Jilly Shears 2,144]

Reading this exquisite piece of literature all the way through for the first time, I gotta say wheeeeeeew it was a roller coaster ride from start to finish. It definitely had a strong start with Snow and a strong finale, albeit it got pretty heavy (not that I don't understand why it wasn't full of humor outside of one snide comment about a certain character's drug habits). It was a very satisfying ending at least, and I can't wait to read act 2 whenever you can get around to writing it.The only criticism I can really say is that the middle section (well, really most of it - like from chapters 4 to just before the 3-part finale) is really muddled down with way too many characters and plotlines and subplots and subsubplots... like I found myself having to reread sections because I forgot who did what and stuff like that. Obviously that problem is rectified now that pretty much half of the cast is killed off and everyone's together, but still just a heads up. It was just a bit jarring how many jumps there were during chapters. Again, not that the writing is bad or anything, the pacing is just kind of a bit all over the place.

[RoxSox 3,593]

Reading this exquisite piece of literature all the way through for the first time, I gotta say wheeeeeeew it was a roller coaster ride from start to finish. It definitely had a strong start with Snow and a strong finale, albeit it got pretty heavy (not that I don't understand why it wasn't full of humor outside of one snide comment about a certain character's drug habits). It was a very satisfying ending at least, and I can't wait to read act 2 whenever you can get around to writing it.The only criticism I can really say is that the middle section (well, really most of it - like from chapters 4 to just before the 3-part finale) is really muddled down with way too many characters and plotlines and subplots and subsubplots... like I found myself having to reread sections because I forgot who did what and stuff like that. Obviously that problem is rectified now that pretty much half of the cast is killed off and everyone's together, but still just a heads up. It was just a bit jarring how many jumps there were during chapters. Again, not that the writing is bad or anything, the pacing is just kind of a bit all over the place.

"Obviously that problem is rectified now that pretty much half of the cast is killed off" firetrucking aces XDDuly noted, Jillian Shears. I shall take these criticisms to heart and make Act II and beyond the bees knees. This is the kind of comment I like getting guys. Some feedback to work off of so I can make the story even more legit.

[RoxSox 3,593]

Lust  4 Power

The Downloadable Content

 Entry Two: The Colonel Climbs a Tree

 

 

Colonel Random's first adventure started when his eyes fell upon a tree. This was only interesting to Random because he realized upon seeing it that he had never attempted to climb a tree. And so in that moment it was decided "Ima climb this muthafukka".

 

It was a daunting task for a Hedgehog to even think about attempting for the tree was mighty tall and, in case it isn't clear enough to you yet, Colonel is a hedgehog.

 

this little shibbit right here

 

 

tree for scale

 

 

So Colonel started to make his plan for how to go about this.

 

It was clear that his hands were to small to grasp the tree itself. Not even the bark served as a good hand hold. As he evaluated and threw out possibilities, he started to lose hope. Disappointed, he started to walk away, when a voice from above suddenly spoke.

"Fear not, small creature. I will contribute my aid to ye." The voice had a distinct Aussie accent.

Colonel Random stopped in his tracks and started to wonder if he'd lost his mind or if in fact God had just spoke to him.

"Look up, little one." spoke the voice again. Random did as God told and looked skyward, but his eyes did not meet the eyes of the lord, but rather the calm glance of the Koala who resided in the tree. "I assume you want to mount my steed, little one? It seemed to be your intent from my point of view."

Random giggled "Yeah I wanna mount your steed."

The Koala nodded. He had a stalk of Eucalyptus in one hand and another stalk of Eucalyptus in the other, he tied them together, and then draped it down to the ground. Colonel Random gripped tightly onto the Eucalyptus, and The Kind Koala lifted him up.

 

Random and the Kind Koala were now sitting together on a branch. The sun was setting, and they had quite the nice view.

"So tell me friend, why do you yearn for adventure?" said the Koala. Colonel Random replied with "How did you know I want an adventure?"

"I can see it in your eyes, little one. I can feel it off your aura. I can smell it off your fear. I can taste it off your fur." upon saying this the Koala reached down and licked his forehead. Random found this ever so slightly strange but he passed it off as some strange Australian custom he did not know about.

"You see, I am an adventurer myself. I have been throughout the far reaches of this continent, and seen many a thing you would not believe. And even in my all my years venturin', I still see things that surprise me. For example... what are you? I have never seen your kind."

"I am a hedgehog."

"A hedge hog. Why is it that you take up hedges? Why hog them when you can share them freely. A hedge can be enjoyed by all."

"I think you misunderstand."

"What is there to misunderstand? You are a hog of hedges. It is quite simple."

Colonel Random simply accepted The Kind Koala's interpretation because he felt that there would be no correcting his misconception.

"Do you have a name?" asked the Kind Koala.

"I go by Colonel Random."

"Colonel Random."

"Yes."

"...why?"

"Why not?"

The Kind Koala paused for a moment, giving the statement some careful thought. "I don't suppose I can argue with that."

"What about you?"

"What about me."

"What's your name?"

"I don't have one."

"Everyone has a name."

"Not I."

"Why not?"

"I don't need one."

"Everyone needs a name."

"I think not. Sometimes one can be content with his own being without needing to brand himself.

"I think I'll call you Steve."

Steve's content smirk turned to a neutral expression as he considered these words. His eyes darted from one side to the other...

"Steve? of all the names to choose from and you pick Steve?"

"It seemed to fit."

"You keep on surprising me."

 

The sun was only a glimmer below the horizon now. "We must exercise caution. This place becomes... rowdy... when the sun ends its watch."

 

~

 

WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? WHERE WILL RANDOMS JOURNEY TAKE HIM?

WILL THE KIND KOALA BECOME A RECURRING CHARACTER IN FUTURE INSTALLMENTS OF LUST FOR POWER, MAYBE EVEN GOING SO FAR AS TO APPEAR IN ACT II OF THE MAIN STORYLINE? lol maybe

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[RoxSox 3,593]

Lust  4 Power

The Downloadable Content

 Entry Three: The Colonel Discovers Something Awful

 

"What do you mean, it gets rowdy?" Colonel asked the wise and gentle Koala he had decided to call Steve.

"Well you see... Australia is a very wild place. And it is host to many a wild creature. And now these creatures have grown tired of their wildness, and are rebelling against it. Which is rather wild in and of itself, which I think is somewhat contrary to their intentions." said Steve in one long sentence. Colonel Random looked into his eyes for a moment, and then very slowly formed his response. "So you're saying...

basically... the wild animals are tired of being wild, and they're wildly rebelling against Australia to protest their wildness.".

"Yes."

"Interesting."

 

The Colonel and Steve looked over the moonlit Australian landscape, pondering the situation. "So what exactly are they hoping to accomplish. And who does this rebellion consist of?"

"Well, I guess they think they'll get some kind of privilege. The right to be a civilized people. Their own neighborhoods and towering skyscrapers and opera houses." pondered Steve.

"You know the opera house got wrecked... some jackass flew a plane into it." Colonel Random interrupted.

"Really? That's too bad... back on topic though. Basically they want to be treated as people. Which, speaking as an animal myself, I find to be completely ridiculous. You're an animal, what do you think of it?"

"I have my own four story mansion with a swimming pool and my own personal petting zoo back home, so I don't really relate."

"Goodness gracious me."

"Which animals are involved in this... is it like a splinter group or is everyone in on it."

"It seems that about 75% of these fellows have jumped on the bandwagon. Some like myself see the foolishness of it all."

"What exactly is their manner of protesting?"

"Savagely murdering anyone who crosses their path."

"...you are joking right,"

"I wish I were."

 

And then the tree began to shake violently. Colonel Random let out a yelp. "THEY'RE COMING FOR US." Steve put his small hand over Colonel's mouth, and looked down to see the source of the violence.

"OY MATES. I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU WERE DOWN ON MY LEVEL YOU'D BE GETTING A RIGHT THRASHING." yelled a disgruntled Kangaroo who was punching the trunk of the tree repeatedly.

"Oh do please go away, Joseph." said Steve calmly, evidently quite used to this.

"NO I WON'T. NOT UNTIL I GIVE YOU A RIGHTFULLY DESERVED POUNDING. I'VE GOT YOU BAILED UP YOU BLUDGERS."

 

Steve looked to the Colonel and assured him that this was a common occurrence, and that the disgruntled kangaroo (who evidently went by the name of Joseph) would get bored of this within an hour or two, and would then go on about his business. "Best to ignore him entirely."

 

Sitting atop a tree while an angry Kangaroo yelled at him did not sound very appealing to Colonel Random. "I'm gonna fight him."

 

In one swoop, Colonel Random jumped out and down onto Joseph, landing on his face. Random grasped snout of the kangaroo tightly and poked Joseph in the eyes with his small little paws before then jumping off onto the ground, where he then charged at the joint of his leg, causing Joseph to collapse. "AW BLIMEY GET OFF ME YOU LITTLE ANKLE BITER" said Joseph through gritted teeth. He was unable to see on account of having been poked in the eyes, and so he was helpless swatting the air around him, missing the Colonel entirely.

 

Before long, Joseph grew somewhat restless at being blinded and pecked relentlessly by the little runt, and he got to his feet and began to hop away. "THE REBELLION WILL HEAR ABOUT TH-" he started to say, but he was cut short when he jumped headfirst into the tree he had been punching, knocking him unconscious immediately. Colonel Random felt a grin of smug satisfaction spread across his face as he stood over the limp pile of Kangaroo.

 

Steve looked down at him, and nodded... "Yes, I think you'll do just fine."

 

------

 

THE ANIMALS OF AUSTRALIA ARE PLANNING TO TAKEOVER AUSTRALIA FOR THEMSELVES? HOW DARE THEY.

COLONEL RANDOM IS GOING TO FIGHT THEM WITH THE GUIDANCE OF STEVE THE WISE KOALA? MAYBE.

STAY TUNED FOR MORE I'LL BE HERE ALL DAY

 

 

 

[RoxSox 3,593]

Lust  4 Power

The Downloadable Content

 Entry Four: The Colonel Becomes an Actual Real Colonel of Actual Colonelness

 

 

 

"There's one part of all this I may have forgotten to mention, my dear friend... yes there is an uprising. But there is also a rebellion. A group of people out there ready and willing to fight this menace... given the skills you have just presented, I think you might fit right in with them."

 

Colonel Random was now strolling in the darkness with nothing but the crown on his head. He had been given a direction and a password by Steve, and it was his plan to join this group of fighters. "Head north my little friend, and when you get there, speak the words I have entrusted to you..." He had been going for an hour or two now, and he was quickly coming up on a soft orange glow he interpreted as a campfire.

 

A few more minutes and he was now upon it. Within moments a pair of hoodlums had jumped from the bushes beside the road and were aiming crossbows at him. "STOP RIGHT THERE IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS GREAT AND GOOD. SPEAK THE WORD OR BE PUT ON TRIAL."

 

Colonel gulped. He managed to mutter the words... "Magnus pinguis ubera!"

The two hoodlums lowered their crossbows and saluted. "He comes from the Great Koala's Tree! Praise be to he whose name is....?"

"...Colonel. Colonel Random."

"PRAISE BE TO COLONEL RANDOM." they said as they bowed.

 

This was all terribly confusing to Random. He anticipated that he would join the group and be a regular old foot solider... but evidently, his presence was more significant, and evidently... Steve was more important then he had let on.

 

The two fellows, who weren't really hoodlums anymore in Random's eyes, but rather compatriots, led him into the camp. The camp was arranged in a large circle, the outer part being a wall, lined with archers and watchmen, then a few additional watchtowers to see outwards among the distance. Going further into the circle there were a great many tents, which the compatriots explained to him were makeshift barracks and hospitals and munitions bunkers. And then in the center of it all was a great bonfire, built ten feet high, which was surrounded by all manner of festivities. Tables with food, and bards singing merry tunes. It was much like something out of an RPG, almost like the writer of this story was inspired by something of that very nature.

 

All of this would be very impressive and large to even a regular sized person... but as you may know, Colonel Random is in fact of the genus Atelerix albiventris and was thusly quite small, making it even more of a spectacle... and more of a struggle to not get stepped on and unceremoniously murdered.

I feel obligated to post a picture of a hedgehog every time

for reference

 

 

The last thing Colonel Random would ever want to happen to him would be getting unceremoniously murdered.

 

The two compatriots stood at attention to either side of the hedgehog, when suddenly a divide was made in the crowd of people. Down the newly made aisle walked the most beautiful woman the Colonel had ever seen. With black hair and brown eyes and a body that just wouldn't quit with legs that went all the way up and all the way down and all the way around. He was awe struck, and completely unable to breathe when making eye contact with her. "She will be mine." he said in his head, or at least he planned on saying it in his head, for it had in fact come out out loud. At a very high octave on account of the not breathing. Everyone heard. Everyone.

 

One of the two Compatriots said in response "If you want her to be yours, then as Colonel, I think you shall make it so. Praise be to Colonel Random."

 

This gave the Colonel quite a bit of confidence in his ability to cross the species barrier and make it happen with this lady.

 

But first, he would need to see what she wanted, because for the entire duration of the exchange she had been standing over him staring daggers.

 

"Who are you?" she asked in a surprisingly thick Australian accent. Not sure why it was surprising, considering it was Australia, but it was.

"He has come from the Great Tree, bearing the password, and the blessing of the Great Koala. He is the promised one. The prophecied hero. He will win this war for us all." said both Compatriots, one after the other.

"If the Great Koala says he is worthy, then he must be. Follow me, Colonel Random."

 

She led him to one of the tents, within which was a large round table upon which was laid out various maps, blueprints, and assorted memos. "Welcome to the war room. The Great Koala has a tendency to downplay how severe this situation really is. He uses words like rebellion and uprising when really, this is a full fledged war. And if what the Great Koala thinks is true, then you will be the one to win it for us."

 

"No pressure..."

 

Colonel Random was then told that when the war begin earlier in that fiscal year, the Great Koala had come to them and said

"You will fight a great battle. And you will triumph... but only when the fated hero arrives at your gates. And only when he speaks the fated words. And only when the eve of something greater draws near. He will be unassuming, and he will not impress you at first, but in the end, the size of his heart will be what truly matters."

The prophecy was taken to heart, and the militia had waited for a long time. But now... it was time.

 

 

Over the course of the next week or so, Colonel Random was trained by the militias highest ranking soldiers in the arts of combat. The weaponsmiths at their command had made him to scale versions of an entire arsenal, including but not limited to grenades, an RPG, machine guns, and a kick butt pistole. He had been decked out in the best armor they could make at his size, and he was generally ready to kick all kinds of ass. He had also grown closer to the woman, who he had learned went by the name Elisha.

 

At the end of the week, he was given the rank of, what else, Colonel. "Coming up here soon, you will fight. And you will win, as decreed by the prophecy."

 

He had done pretty much everything, except get the girl and win the war... hadn't even fought a battle yet... but he was ready. And he was able. And it was only a matter of time before he established his tiny dominance on the great big world.

 

----

 

 

NO THIS ISN'T GOING TO GET SERIOUS IT WILL REMAIN LIGHTHEARTED NO WORRIES NO SLAUGHTERING HERE

COLONEL RANDOM A FATED HERO? WHO'D HAVE THUNK IT.

STEVE A LITTLE BIT BIG FOR HIS BRITCHES? SURPRISE

HUMAN/HEDGEHOG ROMANCE? SAY IT AIN'T SO.

 

[Col.Random 3,683]

Just re-read it I am pleased with this portrayal of my hedghoginess and valiance uwu