I need some advice on how to stay motivated and change myself.

[DragonMaster 1,166]

Hey, thanks for taking the time to read through this, and for any advice you may have. This is the most personal thing I've ever shared here, but I feel like I know most of you pretty well, and I've seen much more personal stuff posted here in any event.

 

So, I've always felt pretty lonely, and I haven't had any friends for around seven years. I naturally grew accustomed to this, and over time I just didn't seem to care anymore. That all changed this summer. I had the wonderful chance to tour some of Europe with people from my school (and a few from a different state entirely), and I had the time of my life. Though I was pretty far out of my comfort zone when it began, by the end I had actually made friends. Granted, I probably can't call any of them close friends, but they're friends enough that I actually have a reason to talk when I'm at school now. In fact, I'm a bit more sociable all around now (not by much, but compared to what I was before it is noticeable).

 

However, that trip gave me a taste of the kind of life I've been missing. For so long I've been pretty much trapped in my own bubble, I haven't lived very much at all. I want to change that, at least a little. I want to rid myself of the excuses I've been using for so long to avoid being social. I want to use the little time I have left in high school to actually become a person that I want to be.

 

The greatest of my excuses, the one that has, in some ways, created all the others I have, is my body. I'm fairly overweight, and a lot of my social anxiety stems from this. I'm always afraid of being judged or made fun of, and that has pretty much made me a social recluse. When simply being there has the possibility of eliciting torture and embarrassment, life just isn't fun. I know that if I can't change this aspect of myself, I will never grow as a person.

 

That is why I have come to you, my fellow members of KH13. Though I haven't been here that long, this is the place I feel closest to outside of the "real world". I know you are all kind and helpful people, and that's why I have finally mustered the courage to seek help.

 

You see, I am highly motivated right now. However, I have been through... let's call them "phases", like this before. Without fail, I always lost the motivation and ultimately never reached my goal. Though I do certainly have motivations currently, many of them are simply fantasies that may not even occur should I succeed at changing myself. So any advice you have on staying motivated (as well as finding more solid motivation) would be greatly appreciated.

 

In addition, I'm certain that some of you here have been through the same thing as me, and perhaps you actually succeeded. Or, maybe you have simply always taken good care of your health. Regardless, any tips on diet and exercise would be greatly appreciated. Particularly, exercises that excel at burning fat would be most welcome. Unfortunately, however, I do have some limitations as to what I can do. Joining an athletic team simply isn't in the cards for me right now, and all of my exercise has to be done at home. Preferably, I'd like things I could do after coming home from school. I have access to a treadmill, a private road, some weights, resistance bands, and stairs. So anything I can do with those, as well as without equipment, would be splendid. As for diet, I'm already working on reducing my portion sizes and drinking water.

 

Again, thanks so much for reading and for any help you can offer. I really want to succeed this time.

Edited September 11, 2013 by DragonMaster

[gothamninja394 92]

Hey, thanks for taking the time to read through this, and for any advice you may have. This is the most personal thing I've ever shared here, but I feel like I know most of you pretty well, and I've seen much more personal stuff posted here in any event.

 

So, I've always felt pretty lonely, and I haven't had any friends for around seven years. I naturally grew accustomed to this, and over time I just didn't seem to care anymore. That all changed this summer. I had the wonderful chance to tour some of Europe with people from my school (and a few from a different state entirely), and I had the time of my life. Though I was pretty far out of my comfort zone when it began, by the end I had actually made friends. Granted, I probably can't call any of them close friends, but they're friends enough that I actually have a reason to talk when I'm at school now. In fact, I'm a bit more sociable all around now (not by much, but compared to what I was before it is noticeable).

 

However, that trip gave me a taste of the kind of life I've been missing. For so long I've been pretty much trapped in my own bubble, I haven't lived very much at all. I want to change that, at least a little. I want to rid myself of the excuses I've been using for so long to avoid being social. I want to use the little time I have left in high school to actually become a person that I want to be.

 

The greatest of my excuses, the one that has, in some ways, created all the others I have, is my body. I'm fairly overweight, and a lot of my social anxiety stems from this. I'm always afraid of being judged or made fun of, and that has pretty much made me a social recluse. When simply being there has the possibility of eliciting torture and embarrassment, life just isn't fun. I know that if I can't change this aspect of myself, I will never grow as a person.

 

That is why I have come to you, my fellow members of KH13. Though I haven't been here that long, this is the place I feel closest to outside of the "real world". I know you are all kind and helpful people, and that's why I have finally mustered the courage to seek help.

 

You see, I am highly motivated right now. However, I have been through... let's call them "phases", like this before. Without fail, I always lost the motivation and ultimately never reached my goal. Though I do certainly have motivations currently, many of them are simply fantasies that may not even occur should I succeed at changing myself. So any advice you have on staying motivated (as well as finding more solid motivation) would be greatly appreciated.

 

In addition, I'm certain that some of you here have been through the same thing as me, and perhaps you actually succeeded. Or, maybe you have simply always taken good care of your health. Regardless, any tips on diet and exercise would be greatly appreciated. Particularly, exercises that excel at burning fat would be most welcome. Unfortunately, however, I do have some limitations as to what I can do. Joining an athletic team simply isn't in the cards for me right now, and all of my exercise has to be done at home. Preferably, I'd like things I could do after coming home from school. I have access to a treadmill, a private road, some weights, resistance bands, and stairs. So anything I can do with those, as well as without equipment, would be splendid. As for diet, I'm already working on reducing my portion sizes and drinking water.

 

Again, thanks so much for reading and for any help you can offer. I really want to succeed this time.

Kinda get how you feel, I've been like that for a while myself and still having trouble with motivation too I'm sorry man

[Cucco 1,907]

your weight might not be the source of your social anxiety, i've been a fairly average weight and i have the same problems as you.

[DragonMaster 1,166]

Thanks for the quick responses.

 

 

Kinda get how you feel, I've been like that for a while myself and still having trouble with motivation too I'm sorry man

Well, it helps to know you're not alone. It makes it easier to live with if you know other people struggle in the same way.

 

 

your weight might not be the source of your social anxiety, i've been a fairly average weight and i have the same problems as you.

I've thought on it for awhile, and I do think my problems stem from there. Even if there is another source, it will still benefit me in that I'll be healthier physically and more confident.

[gothamninja394 92]

Thanks for the quick responses.

 

 

Well, it helps to know you're not alone. It makes it easier to live with if you know other people struggle in the same way.

 

 

I've thought on it for awhile, and I do think my problems stem from there. Even if there is another source, it will still benefit me in that I'll be healthier physically and more confident.

 

This probably wont be easy to hear man, but the best thing to do is to just go and do it. Noone can make you go hang out with people, I've been learning it the hard way myself. You can have the life you seek, but you've gotta take the first step, which is the hardest. Once you take that step its easier. And its true, knowing you arent alone helps a ton.

Edited September 11, 2013 by gothamninja394

[Cucco 1,907]

I would like to also mention that a similar thing happened to me recently. back at the end of 8th grade we had a trip to the waterpark. One of my only friends who would normally prefer talking to one of my other friends decided to stay by me the whole time and we never got bored. That was the best time of my life and was the only time i really felt needed by any of my friends

[DragonMaster 1,166]

I would like to also mention that a similar thing happened to me recently. back at the end of 8th grade we had a trip to the waterpark. One of my only friends who would normally prefer talking to one of my other friends decided to stay by me the whole time and we never got bored. That was the best time of my life and was the only time i really felt needed by any of my friends

That sounds great. Yeah, that was one of the things that really shook me the most during my trip. The people I hung out with didn't have to include me, but they went out of their way to do so. It was a great feeling.

[gothamninja394 92]

Sounds like you guys desire to be needed, am I right?

[DragonMaster 1,166]

Sounds like you guys desire to be needed, am I right?

Well, personally, not so much to be needed as to be wanted.

[echo 69]

Ok here we go:

 

Diet: I know you said you were cutting down on portion sizes and such but that doesn't always work for everyone, it all depends on the person. For the majority of bodies out there filling your diet with more fruits, vegetables, and cutting out white breads, sugars, premade meals and such help alot. My tip for the grocery store: If your mom is the one who does the shopping, go with her and youll notice all the food you should be eating is usually located on the perimeters of the store, such as the deli, produce, dairy, bakery, and natural section. If you only cut down on what your eating instead of changing it you are more likely to remain at the same wieght because even if you are exercising your body will store fat because it isnt getting even nutrients

 

Exercise: The key if to keep your body confused, one week work on cardio, go for a walk or a jog, or a bike ride. Then the next do strength building such as lifting weights, doing core exercises. And always make sure to have a designated day of rest for each week.

 

Motivation: This one is the hardest and only certain things work for certain people, what will help is saying your goal outloud to yourself, every time you wake up you say I want to be healthy, or i want to make a new friend today. Then during your day surround yourself with what you want to become, seek out people who will encourage you, join a club, or even create one! The trick to making lots of friends is putting yourself out there.  

 

Your always welcome to message me about anything you have questions on or if you just want to talk!^^

[gothamninja394 92]

Well, personally, not so much to be needed as to be wanted.

I believe this would be a case of insecurity, which I suffer from myself

[DragonMaster 1,166]

Ok here we go:

 

Diet: I know you said you were cutting down on portion sizes and such but that doesn't always work for everyone, it all depends on the person. For the majority of bodies out there filling your diet with more fruits, vegetables, and cutting out white breads, sugars, premade meals and such help alot. My tip for the grocery store: If your mom is the one who does the shopping, go with her and youll notice all the food you should be eating is usually located on the perimeters of the store, such as the deli, produce, dairy, bakery, and natural section. If you only cut down on what your eating instead of changing it you are more likely to remain at the same wieght because even if you are exercising your body will store fat because it isnt getting even nutrients

 

Exercise: The key if to keep your body confused, one week work on cardio, go for a walk or a jog, or a bike ride. Then the next do strength building such as lifting weights, doing core exercises. And always make sure to have a designated day of rest for each week.

 

Motivation: This one is the hardest and only certain things work for certain people, what will help is saying your goal outloud to yourself, every time you wake up you say I want to be healthy, or i want to make a new friend today. Then during your day surround yourself with what you want to become, seek out people who will encourage you, join a club, or even create one! The trick to making lots of friends is putting yourself out there.  

 

Your always welcome to message me about anything you have questions on or if you just want to talk!^^

Thanks so much for posting! That bit you posted about exercising is especially helpful, as I really don't know much about working out. I'll be sure to try out some of your motivation tips as well. The change in diet will probably be the hardest for me, but you can bet I'll give it a try. Luckily, my family does but a lot of fruit, so maybe I'll start with something like trading some of the items in my packed lunches for school for fruits.

 

 

I believe this would be a case of insecurity, which I suffer from myself

Yeah, I suppose that could be the case. I do have a few issues I need to work out. Losing weight isn't a "catch all" solution, but I really do think it is the thing I should focus on first.

[Jilly Shears 2,144]

I can't really give any better advice than what's already given for the food and exercise thing, other than it's perfectly okay to cheat, like, one meal a week if it'll help motivate you to keep doing what it is that you're doing. If you're a pretty big "live-to-eater" like I am, then a little pleasure food can go a long way for keeping motivation.

With that being said, it's a really good idea to just make small goals that eventually add up to the big picture. When you do subtle changes and see yourself progressing slowly but steadily, it'll really keep your motivation high than going all-out and overdo things. Slow and steady wins the race, and all that.

Also, as someone who had to get through high school and survived to tell the tale, literally everyone fears that they're being judged by everyone. In fact, if you casually pass by a few people, they themselves probably think you're the one judging them! Everyone also has a lot of really firetrucked up body image issues, but I digress.

Anyway, I wish you good luck in your endeavor to better yourself! Coming from someone who has a lot of social issues as well, it's really good that you're putting in the effort.

[Whimsy-Mimsy 99]

Okay, if you're anything like me, you like junk food. And the truth is, junk food is yummy. But here's the thing: when you eat healthy, you actually feel better. It seems stupid, but try to eat well for a few days and you'll notice it. and whenever you start thinking about the horribly delicious foods, remember that feeling. Of course, it's not like you can't have anything yummy, just remember that moderating your junk food will make it taste just as good and won't make you feel icky afterwards.

 

As for the exercises, if you don't have a specific place on your body you want to lose weight, it's best to start with 5-10 minute bursts of cardio interspaced with simple strength exercises such as squats, sit-ups/crunches, and pushups. Don't feel like you need to do the most extreme versions of them right away. If you're a bit out of shape, start with the easier versions of the exercises and work your way up to the harder ones.

 

As for staying motivated, find what you really want to gain from losing weight. For a while now, I've been working on losing a bit of weight off my thighs because I live in a hot place and I like to wear shorts, and my thighs rub each other raw if I'm not wearing knee-length shorts. Little by little I've been noticing my legs get less irritated after walking around all day, and that's what keeps me going.

Also, if you plan on having exercise be a part of your weight loss plan (which it should be!), DO NOT WEIGH YOURSELF. It sounds counterintuitive, but you will probably be putting on muscle weight as you lose fat, and since muscle is much denser, it might seem like you're not losing any weight when you're burning through tons of fat. Get a measuring tape and measure progress through inches, not pounds. Trust me, coming from a girl who's 5 feet tall, 26 inches at the waist and almost 150 pounds, weighing yourself is not always a good way to see if your diet is working.

 

Gods, sorry for the essay, but I've struggled with my body a lot and I feel like it's something I can (hopefully!) help others with.

[EternalReckoning 1,135]

Try doing out grids for yourself and doing sessions of daily aerobic exercise which you can record on this sheet as you do it daily. On the social side of things be yourself, if people dont like you for who you are they arent worth getting to know. Get talking to people and if they judge you move on.

[gothamninja394 92]

Thanks so much for posting! That bit you posted about exercising is especially helpful, as I really don't know much about working out. I'll be sure to try out some of your motivation tips as well. The change in diet will probably be the hardest for me, but you can bet I'll give it a try. Luckily, my family does but a lot of fruit, so maybe I'll start with something like trading some of the items in my packed lunches for school for fruits.

 

 

Yeah, I suppose that could be the case. I do have a few issues I need to work out. Losing weight isn't a "catch all" solution, but I really do think it is the thing I should focus on first.

Take a look at what you're eating, and make sure you dont starve yourself. Thinkin of taking up martial arts myself

[Whimsy-Mimsy 99]

I believe this would be a case of insecurity, which I suffer from myself

 

Being wanted is part of the human condition, insecure or not, everyone wants at least one other being's approval.

[gothamninja394 92]

Being wanted is part of the human condition, insecure or not, everyone wants at least one other being's approval.

Thats true, because humans are social beings. We're not meant to be shut off from the world, and the more alone you are the more you seek to have others in your life.

[Javelin434 3,164]

 

That is why I have come to you, my fellow members of KH13. Though I haven't been here that long, this is the place I feel closest to outside of the "real world". I know you are all kind and helpful people, and that's why I have finally mustered the courage to seek help.

 

You see, I am highly motivated right now. However, I have been through... let's call them "phases", like this before. Without fail, I always lost the motivation and ultimately never reached my goal. Though I do certainly have motivations currently, many of them are simply fantasies that may not even occur should I succeed at changing myself. So any advice you have on staying motivated (as well as finding more solid motivation) would be greatly appreciated.

 

In addition, I'm certain that some of you here have been through the same thing as me, and perhaps you actually succeeded. Or, maybe you have simply always taken good care of your health. Regardless, any tips on diet and exercise would be greatly appreciated. Particularly, exercises that excel at burning fat would be most welcome. Unfortunately, however, I do have some limitations as to what I can do. Joining an athletic team simply isn't in the cards for me right now, and all of my exercise has to be done at home. Preferably, I'd like things I could do after coming home from school. I have access to a treadmill, a private road, some weights, resistance bands, and stairs. So anything I can do with those, as well as without equipment, would be splendid. As for diet, I'm already working on reducing my portion sizes and drinking water.

 

Again, thanks so much for reading and for any help you can offer. I really want to succeed this time.

Ah, the social part, I couldn't help you much on since I've learned to become numb from any desires of wanting any social interaction whatsoever (though sometimes, counter-measures on that fail) because of being so hell bent on getting my life back on track, but this can actually be solved with a little bit of Psychology. Have you ever heard of the concept of the "Self-fulfilling Prophecy?" The concept goes that if you keep telling yourself that you will succeed in whatever you have set your mind to, on the unconscious level, you will take the steps necessary to achieve it without even knowing it.

 

For the exercise part, every little bit counts. Go with healthy foods (Though the occasional indulgence on that triple-layered chocolate cream cake with whip cream and cherry on top wouldn't hurt, albeit in a fair proportion). For example, replacing soft drinks with other naturally sweet drinks like orange juice or cranberry juice is a step in the right direction. Take the slightly more challenging options for transit to places, however small they may be. instead of taking the elevator or wheelchair ramp for example, try using the stairs if it's practical, and push yourself a little on it. I tried getting to the top as fast as I can using all the steps before skipping one, even two or three steps at a time to get to the top or bottom. You have admitted to being overweight, but even something as simple as flexing your chest muscles in front of the mirror, laughing at yourself and screaming "MAN LOOK AT THIS SEXY BEAST" may sound funny on text, but in reality that flex is developing that muscle in tone and slight strength, and the natural endorphin released by smiling and laughing at yourself just may be the small kick of motivation needed to try using the exercise machines on your own. Start small first then work your way up.

 

Personal example: I had to do pull-ups for my class, and needless to say I failed miserably, being unable to do even 1 . So, I decided to get that pull-up bar for myself and try to improve on my own. At first, my objective was to simply hang on the bar for more than 2 seconds. After laughing and getting pissed at how weak I relatively was, I kept going at it, 2-3 seconds every day until I could actually hang on that bar for a solid 3 seconds. With that bit of strength, I pushed myself a little bit more, going for 1 complete pull up. Failed. Kept persisting for a while until I could barely do it, then kept at it until I could comfortably do it once a day without straining myself. Rinse, repeat for the next numbers.

 

All in all, persistence (and many others have sworn that heavy metal music and keeping a pissed off attitude at all times during workout) will help. If you know you're out of shape, then you're already on the path to fixing this problem. Tell yourself that "Imma gonna get beefier" and if that voice says "Lol no" just think "Watch me." 2-3 seconds a day is a start, but keep adding to it whenever you get good at it and you'll naturally improve. Many make the mistake of going cold turkey on the workouts and habits, like "IMMA GONNA DRINK PLAIN OL WAWA FROM HERE ON OUT" and naturally fail. I gotta tell you, cranberry juice, apple juice, orange juice to name a few are GREAT replacements to satisfy that sweet craving, and since it's natural your body can easily chemically break it down and it will actually tell you to stop drinking sweets and instead go for plain water instead once you have enough. And the cold turkey for exercise, the whole "10 push-ups or bust!" idea is silly. Do whatever you can now, then work your way up to that goal, rather than expecting to do it right off the bat and blaming yourself when you can't do it. All this falls within the self-fulfilling prophecy concept, but I think I've wasted enough space here and too lazy to explain...

 

Good luck!

Edited September 11, 2013 by Javelin434

[gothamninja394 92]

Ah, the social part, I couldn't help you much on since I've learned to become numb from any desires of wanting any social interaction whatsoever (though sometimes, counter-measures on that fail) because of being so hell bent on getting my life back on track, but this can actually be solved with a little bit of Psychology. Have you ever heard of the concept of the "Self-fulfilling Prophecy?" The concept goes that if you keep telling yourself that you will succeed in whatever you have set your mind to, on the unconscious level, you will take the steps necessary to achieve it without even knowing it.

 

For the exercise part, every little bit counts. Go with healthy foods (Though the occasional indulgence on that triple-layered chocolate cream cake with whip cream and cherry on top wouldn't hurt, albeit in a fair proportion). For example, replacing soft drinks with other naturally sweet drinks like orange juice or cranberry juice is a step in the right direction. Take the slightly more challenging options for transit to places, however small they may be. instead of taking the elevator or wheelchair ramp for example, try using the stairs if it's practical, and push yourself a little on it. I tried getting to the top as fast as I can using all the steps before skipping one, even two or three steps at a time to get to the top or bottom. You have admitted to being overweight, but even something as simple as flexing your chest muscles in front of the mirror, laughing at yourself and screaming "MAN LOOK AT THIS SEXY BEAST" may sound funny on text, but in reality that flex is developing that muscle in tone and slight strength, and the natural endorphin released by smiling and laughing at yourself just may be the small kick of motivation needed to try using the exercise machines on your own. Start small first then work your way up.

 

Personal example: I had to do pull-ups for my class, and needless to say I failed miserably, being unable to do even 1 . So, I decided to get that pull-up bar for myself and try to improve on my own. At first, my objective was to simply hang on the bar for more than 2 seconds. After laughing and getting pissed at how weak I relatively was, I kept going at it, 2-3 seconds every day until I could actually hang on that bar for a solid 3 seconds. With that bit of strength, I pushed myself a little bit more, going for 1 complete pull up. Failed. Kept persisting for a while until I could barely do it, then kept at it until I could comfortably do it once a day without straining myself. Rinse, repeat for the next numbers.

 

All in all, persistence (and many others have sworn that heavy metal music and keeping a pissed off attitude at all times during workout) will help. If you know you're out of shape, then you're already on the path to fixing this problem. Tell yourself that "Imma gonna get beefier" and if that voice says "Lol no" just think "Watch me." 2-3 seconds a day is a start, but keep adding to it whenever you get good at it and you'll naturally improve. 

Thats right, persistence! Dont ever give up, keep going for it! You can do anything you set your mind to, but remember this: Noone can do it for you. You have to do it, and you have to want to do it. So much so that you'll stop at nothing to accomplish the goal.

[DragonMaster 1,166]

I can't really give any better advice than what's already given for the food and exercise thing, other than it's perfectly okay to cheat, like, one meal a week if it'll help motivate you to keep doing what it is that you're doing. If you're a pretty big "live-to-eater" like I am, then a little pleasure food can go a long way for keeping motivation.With that being said, it's a really good idea to just make small goals that eventually add up to the big picture. When you do subtle changes and see yourself progressing slowly but steadily, it'll really keep your motivation high than going all-out and overdo things. Slow and steady wins the race, and all that.Also, as someone who had to get through high school and survived to tell the tale, literally everyone fears that they're being judged by everyone. In fact, if you casually pass by a few people, they themselves probably think you're the one judging them! Everyone also has a lot of really firetrucked up body image issues, but I digress.Anyway, I wish you good luck in your endeavor to better yourself! Coming from someone who has a lot of social issues as well, it's really good that you're putting in the effort.

Thanks so much for responding! I like that idea of setting smaller goals, it makes sense. Maybe the reason I always failed before is because I set unreasonable goal. I think I'll give some thought as to what smaller goals I can set for myself (echo's post is giving me some ideas already). That tidbit about high school actually helps out quite a bit as well. If I can go into this with that mindset of everyone having these fears, maybe I'll get something more out of myself.

 

 

Okay, if you're anything like me, you like junk food. And the truth is, junk food is yummy. But here's the thing: when you eat healthy, you actually feel better. It seems stupid, but try to eat well for a few days and you'll notice it. and whenever you start thinking about the horribly delicious foods, remember that feeling. Of course, it's not like you can't have anything yummy, just remember that moderating your junk food will make it taste just as good and won't make you feel icky afterwards.

 

As for the exercises, if you don't have a specific place on your body you want to lose weight, it's best to start with 5-10 minute bursts of cardio interspaced with simple strength exercises such as squats, sit-ups/crunches, and pushups. Don't feel like you need to do the most extreme versions of them right away. If you're a bit out of shape, start with the easier versions of the exercises and work your way up to the harder ones.

 

As for staying motivated, find what you really want to gain from losing weight. For a while now, I've been working on losing a bit of weight off my thighs because I live in a hot place and I like to wear shorts, and my thighs rub each other raw if I'm not wearing knee-length shorts. Little by little I've been noticing my legs get less irritated after walking around all day, and that's what keeps me going.

Also, if you plan on having exercise be a part of your weight loss plan (which it should be!), DO NOT WEIGH YOURSELF. It sounds counterintuitive, but you will probably be putting on muscle weight as you lose fat, and since muscle is much denser, it might seem like you're not losing any weight when you're burning through tons of fat. Get a measuring tape and measure progress through inches, not pounds. Trust me, coming from a girl who's 5 feet tall, 26 inches at the waist and almost 150 pounds, weighing yourself is not always a good way to see if your diet is working.

 

Gods, sorry for the essay, but I've struggled with my body a lot and I feel like it's something I can (hopefully!) help others with.

You don't have to be sorry, I'm actually pretty honored that you (or anyone) would write so much to help me. Wanting to help out others is truly admirable, and I hope I'll be able to do the same some day.

 

Your right I do enjoy junk food quite a bit. I always feel the need to have something chocolatey or sugary after a meal. I have noticed that I'll feel pretty good after eating healthier foods. I feel like I'm saying this a lot, but I'll definitely try your suggestions in this regard.

 

As for exercises, I appreciate that you mentioned some specific ones to do. I would prefer to lose fat from my stomach and face the most, but truth be told I need to lose it all over, so that's what I want to do. There are really a lot of reasons why I want to do this, but I know where you're coming from with your thighs rubbing together. That happens to me often, especially when its hot and I'm sweating. Doesn't matter what kind of shorts I'm wearing though.

 

Yeah, I've read that weighing yourself is actually a counter-intuitive thing to do. I have a tape measure I could use as well. Sounds like a better way to measure the progress I want anyway.

 

 

Try doing out grids for yourself and doing sessions of daily aerobic exercise which you can record on this sheet as you do it daily. On the social side of things be yourself, if people dont like you for who you are they arent worth getting to know. Get talking to people and if they judge you move on.

I'll have to consider doing that (grids). I think I remember doing those in gym class a few years ago actually, and if I remember right it does seem like a good idea. I'll certainly try to be myself around other people as well. I've made a bit of progress in that regard, comparing this year to last.

 

 

Ah, the social part, I couldn't help you much on since I've learned to become numb from any desires of wanting any social interaction whatsoever (though sometimes, counter-measures on that fail) because of being so hell bent on getting my life back on track, but this can actually be solved with a little bit of Psychology. Have you ever heard of the concept of the "Self-fulfilling Prophecy?" The concept goes that if you keep telling yourself that you will succeed in whatever you have set your mind to, on the unconscious level, you will take the steps necessary to achieve it without even knowing it.

 

For the exercise part, every little bit counts. Go with healthy foods (Though the occasional indulgence on that triple-layered chocolate cream cake with whip cream and cherry on top wouldn't hurt, albeit in a fair proportion). For example, replacing soft drinks with other naturally sweet drinks like orange juice or cranberry juice is a step in the right direction. Take the slightly more challenging options for transit to places, however small they may be. instead of taking the elevator or wheelchair ramp for example, try using the stairs if it's practical, and push yourself a little on it. I tried getting to the top as fast as I can using all the steps before skipping one, even two or three steps at a time to get to the top or bottom. You have admitted to being overweight, but even something as simple as flexing your chest muscles in front of the mirror, laughing at yourself and screaming "MAN LOOK AT THIS SEXY BEAST" may sound funny on text, but in reality that flex is developing that muscle in tone and slight strength, and the natural endorphin released by smiling and laughing at yourself just may be the small kick of motivation needed to try using the exercise machines on your own. Start small first then work your way up.

 

Personal example: I had to do pull-ups for my class, and needless to say I failed miserably, being unable to do even 1 . So, I decided to get that pull-up bar for myself and try to improve on my own. At first, my objective was to simply hang on the bar for more than 2 seconds. After laughing and getting pissed at how weak I relatively was, I kept going at it, 2-3 seconds every day until I could actually hang on that bar for a solid 3 seconds. With that bit of strength, I pushed myself a little bit more, going for 1 complete pull up. Failed. Kept persisting for a while until I could barely do it, then kept at it until I could comfortably do it once a day without straining myself. Rinse, repeat for the next numbers.

 

All in all, persistence (and many others have sworn that heavy metal music and keeping a pissed off attitude at all times during workout) will help. If you know you're out of shape, then you're already on the path to fixing this problem. Tell yourself that "Imma gonna get beefier" and if that voice says "Lol no" just think "Watch me." 2-3 seconds a day is a start, but keep adding to it whenever you get good at it and you'll naturally improve. 

Yes, I have indeed hear that term before. I never thought of applying it in a positive manner, however, and your suggestion is definitely something I can handle with minimal effort.

 

Like I mentioned above in this post, I definitely see some ways I could change some of the normal food in my diet into healthier options. Its nice to know that I can allow myself a little bit of slack as well. Luckily for me, my school doesn't offer any easy transit options (elevator is only for people with injuries, and its slow to boot), its either the stairs or you don't make it to class. I do try to walk up two stairs at once, whenever there aren't too many people around.

 

Unfortunately, I have to go to bed now, so I can't reply to the rest of your post in as much detail. I do like the idea of "staying pissed off" during exercise, and I know that music definitely helps me gut pumped up. Thank-you for sharing your personal experience as well, it gives me some good ideas on how to approach this.

 

 

To all of you who have responded so far, I just really feel the need to thank you all again. Just the fact that you all took the time to read about my problems and try to help me out really means a lot to me. Honestly, I was a bit worried I wouldn't get any responses. I'm glad you all proved that my worries were meaningless.

[echo 69]

Thanks so much for posting! That bit you posted about exercising is especially helpful, as I really don't know much about working out. I'll be sure to try out some of your motivation tips as well. The change in diet will probably be the hardest for me, but you can bet I'll give it a try. Luckily, my family does but a lot of fruit, so maybe I'll start with something like trading some of the items in my packed lunches for school for fruits.

 

And if you ever need tips for exercises, stretches or anything of the sort dont be shy to ask! Its very important while working out that you don't injure yourself

[Anonn0000 3,525]

Just don't stop being a nice person and i'm all for you being more social.

 

*sweat drop* I had to be blunt...

[DragonMaster 1,166]

Well, I started today! Instead of chocolatey cereal for breakfast I had yogurt, I switched the chips out of my lunch for yogurt (I've already been including fruit in my lunch for awhile), and ate less at dinner tonight. After getting home from school I did some exercising, but I can't really say it was a good workout (I need to do more/exercise longer in the future).

 

 

And if you ever need tips for exercises, stretches or anything of the sort dont be shy to ask! Its very important while working out that you don't injure yourself

I'm actually wondering, about how long should I make my "work out sessions" starting out, and should I extend that time as I progress?

[Anonn0000 3,525]

Just remember my other post...

 

Just don't stop being a nice person and i'm all for you being more social.

There. This world. Needs. NO MORE EVIL IN IT, OKAAAAY??

 

*heff heff,,*

 

my sadisticly sexual love for riku. ONLY EXCEPTION!!!!