Post your own Painful Past...

[Hazimie 1,595]

So yeah,in this topic,you can post your Painful Past that you have been through in your lives.However,it's okay if you don't want to if your past are too painful.The motives on this topic is that to know each others and mend the bonds together with all the members....and for the beginning, i will start mine :

 

 

 

When i was in Middle School,i was afraid at first,since it will be a tough journey on my life from now on by starting my life on middle school.But somehow,my feelings of fear was disappear by developing bonds with my friends at school.I spend my time with them and i love and cared for them.Until one day,it hit me.The day we have to switch class on the next year,All my friends begins like 'not-knowing' about me.I tried to get along with them as hard as i can,but now.......they all think that i shouldn't be with them and i tried and tried again to befriend them.....until one of my best friend said "I don't need a friend of low class like you".Indeed,we were in different class because i'm in the low class due to my scores at school and many people don't want to hang out with me.

 

I tried my best to keep up with my scores so that i can catch up with my friends but i still can't.My parents always mad at me since i get lower scores and i'm doing my best to make my parents want.But in the end,i'm still can't.And so,my father give me an impact by saying these words,"I don't have a son who was this pathetic".My heart shattered.I don't want to cared about them......or be with them,since i know that they all hated me,even i know since my parents didn't come at the School Carnival that the classes are holding,and my friends wouldn't be there for me when i needed them most of the times.I lost my trust,and i only have was a few friends of KH13.

 

I hated myself.at first,i'm planning to become a Shut-in since people didn't care about me anyway.I didn't attend to school often and went inside my room for hours and not cared about anything,until i tried to make another plan:Didn't go to school at all.But that plan stopped until my friend who said "Low Class" to me,apologize to me at the Detention room after we fighting during when i'm attending at school.At first,we were fighting and arguing due to his dislike about my behaviour towards others than him.I acted cold and not cared others,even girls.And that's why the arguing was started.Now i know......he arguing that because he worried about me.The reason why he said "Low Class" words to me because his parents forbids him to befriend with me.Now i know why...

 

Also,my parents was also worried about me too.I know this when i eavesdropping them when my mom and dad were discussing at night.They say that they have to make cold decisions in order to make me become a better person,but in the end,it does not what they hope for.I'm began crying......after what they done.....and so,i've become a different person.....not becoming cold,not becoming uncared....but becoming a person that people need....and so,my problems have been resolved...

 

 

 

So yeah,that's it about my past.What's yours?

Edited July 13, 2013 by Hazimie

[Col.Random 3,683]

past?

[Hazimie 1,595]

past?

Well,let's just say your painful moments to be exact...

[Caity 3,946]

My father abandoned us and went to America without a care in the world.  Honestly though I'm a heartless bitch but I feel this is more acceptable than "my boyfriend cheated on me wah"

[Col.Random 3,683]

My father abandoned us and went to America without a care in the world.  Honestly though I'm a heartless bitch but I feel this is more acceptable than "my boyfriend cheated on me wah"

damn, sucks to hear that :/Hope things turn around for you

[Iamkingdomhearts1000 1,170]

My uncle was a policeman who was murdered while on duty by a schizophrenic man with a knife in the centre of the town that I live in and that one single event has caused me to become who I am now.

[Black Cat 39]

well the most painful moment for me was when I was getting bullied when I was little around the age of 5. Me and my best friend where playing around in the woods till some people who where older came but they hated me coz of what I wear and my behaviour, but that day was a nightmare they start to come after me but one of them held back my best friends so he could not help me, after a little bit of running they got me and started to beat me up one of them almost coz me to lost my left eye sight (but I can still see out of it) after that the picked me up a throw me in a pool where I cant swim.

 

I cant remember what happened next...

[verdesthe 45]

Well mine isn't that emotional but here goes

 

Basically In my 7th grade year I lost who I was. I wanted girls but more or less people to like me for who I was. Let's just say me changing didn't actually help me that much. People more or less started to like me less because of it and thought I shouldn't have changed. Now some people liked the new me but I didn't want to lose these old friends the few I had anyways. So being at the lowest of my low losing old friends, no girls liking me, me missing friends who moved the past year, and losing my best friend who I gained in sixth grade to a relationship where my best friend forgot I existed, and my parents kept fighting every day and my Dad kept telling me about how my mom cheated on him it was to much for me to handle so I was sad. Then one day I heard about Persona 4 and i watched videos about how the characters faced themselves. So I decided I would face myself and become someone new and true to myself. I vowed to never let that happen again so I guess that was my worst moment in my life. I guess that's also why I love persona 4 so much and p4 also taught me to start caring for people again. So I thank persona 4 for what it did really it helped change my life for the better Now i have new friends who care about me and my parents have stopped fighting so much. So I'm a lot happier now though. 

 

Edit: That same Friend who because of the girl he went out with they broke up. Now he's Trying to be my friend again  huh Life's funny that way huh. 

Edited July 7, 2013 by verdesthe

[EternalReckoning 1,135]

@hazimie,

 

dude thats terrible, what kind of society would reject someone for not being book smart, thats deplorable, completely deplorable.

[TripleNipple 308]

I was bulimic last year and suffered from anxiety attacks. But I'm fine now

[Col.Random 3,683]

Well,after this family fight (for like the trillionth time in this piece of shit house) I once cried myself to sleep for the first time in years, realizing that i would pretty much have no family by the time i was 18 or something.But well here's some good news: After realizing that this family is actually one of the reasons i'm always so pissed off and upset(the fighting between either my mom and dad, my sister and dad, my sister and mom or just both my sisters has never failed to ruin my day), I'm actually looking forward to that day.Not my most depressing memory, but, well they're all just equally shitty, so like it matters.

[Anonn0000 3,525]

SoraBlade writing he "H*teh*teH*te"'s heroes in the last poster wins and my not knowing if its rp or not....

 

Now i'm profileless....

[Kello 310]

Reading your posts gets me thinking that I didn't have any reason to be depressed...

[Yang 1,859]

I mainly had physical problems heh

 

I was born with a hole in my heart that made me unable to even breathe without a machine hooked up to me. The first few months after I was born, I was in the hospital. My mom said that I was suffocated when I was born and I almost looked blue. (which is why some people call me a smurf lol.) I was also born with problems in my back, but I didn't find out about that until I was 11 years old.

In between that time, I always walked on my toes and I never grew out of it. Then my back and my legs hurt more often as I got older. When I was 11, I got an MRI scan showing that my vertebrate had fallen out of line with the rest of my spine. It was around 80% off of where it should've been. This stretched out my spinal cord and made it very painful. This also was why I walked on my toes, because the spine affected the tendons in my legs.

I had major back surgery in the end of 6th grade. I couldn't lift anything more than 5 lbs, so I was dependent on a lot of people. I hated being dependent, too. But I never had trouble looking for people willing to help me. My classmates would basically fight over who got to carry my books to my next classes.

The titanium plates, pins, and screws they put in my back will be there the rest of my life. It's pretty cool though, because I can literally say "I AM TITANIUM!"

 

That's about it. Nothing really depressing, but if I went into full detail it'd be much more saddening ))))

[Paranoia 494]

I have an extreme case of ADHD, and several other behavioral disabilities, And I've had them since I was really young. As a result, I was put on a lot of different medications though my childhood. Some would work well for a while, then i built up an immunity to them after a few months, or they didn't work at all. So when I was going through elementary school, I had a hard time keeping my disorders in check and I would act out or get in trouble quite frequently. I was the first child born, so my parents had no clue how to control me. My mom has anger issues, and my dad had come back from Operation Desert Storm and was dealing with the PTSD he had suffered from digging mass graves while in the war. And because of them being unable to find ways of controlling me correctly, I was beaten by them on a somewhat regular basis.

 

I'm not talking about spanking, or getting a slap on the cheek. I'm talking about getting pinned to the floor and getting beat by my parents. I was beaten with a baseball bat, whipped with vacuum and telephone cords, and thrown into my wall-mounted shelves one time. This continued through my junior high and high school years. I was in quite a few therapists offices, as were my parents, when I eventually told my school about my situation. The therapy helped my dad out quite a bit, but my mom, being so stubborn and childish, didn't feel as she did anything wrong. So this continued up until my Junior year of high school, and because of those reasons, and my parents getting a divorce, my grades suffered, and I had to be transferred to the school for "the bad kids," because of it.

 

At that point, i didn't care about anything, so I skipped school frequently, started smoking, did a bunch of things I'm not proud of. That was until i was told that I wouldn't graduate on time with my class, and that I had to stay an extra half of the school year, after my senior year. To make a long story short,  I got my shit together and learned how to control my feelings and impulses, to the point where I don't need medication, and was able to shorten the length of which I had to stay to graduate. And my relationship with my parents? Well, for the most part its good, I currently live with my dad at the moment, and we seem to get along well, and I love my mom, but her attitude and her immaturity inhibit me from wanting to be around her for lengthy periods of time.

Edited July 7, 2013 by Paranoia

[Dracozombie 4,554]

Let's just say I have a lot of unlearning to do from a lifetime of being, well, me, and from a lifetime of living with parents who really didn't do a good job of preparing me for the good ol' real world.  Even if I love them, they're too disconnected from the human condition for them to have taught me wisdom that really would've helped to learn then instead of later, after the damage had been done.

 

Of course, I didn't do underage drinking or drugs or (actively or consciously) rebel, and they praised me for that, but when you're defined by what you don't do, it sorta says something about you.  I was pretty incompetent at being a functioning human being and my parents didn't do much to help, in spite of or because of them.  I was far closer to my brother, and even to this day, much of my wisdom comes from him.  It was either from him, other credible sources, and pretty much from everywhere except my parents.  That, or I learned it myself.

 

I'm pretty sure most of the friends I had back in the day only hung out with me because they felt sorry for me.  I got picked on a lot, 90 percent of it brought on myself.  When you're tiny girl with massive hair, only showered once a week, paraded her shitty animu drawings around like she was a good artist (even volunteering for the art side of projects despite how much she sucked), and chased her bullies around in the stupid hope it would teach them a lesson (it didn't), you can imagine I was a pretty easy target.  When I didn't share my lunch period with my friends, I usually hid and ate in the bathroom to get away from it all.  You may feel sorry for me, but keep in mind none of it would've happened if I was smart enough to know what I was doing wrong and listening to the people who flat out told me why they were giving me hell.  I'm proof that there are cases where, yes, the victim really is to blame.

 

Of course, that didn't do much for my social skills.  Or my "ability to function independently" skills.  I was and still am a late bloomer, always the last to get everything that should be common knowledge/common sense to my peers.  That's not to say I never get it, but I always get it, like, five steps behind everyone else.  Lots of damage and embarrassment could've been avoided if I got it on time, but no, that's never been the case.  And this is gonna get me hard further down the line, when there won't be anyone around to teach me what should be the basics to everyone else in society.

 

Things are picking up lately, but it was only after a lifetime of being, uh... me.  Either I found it on my own, or someone who weren't my parents--the people who should've taken charge of teaching me how to function--taught it to me.  I'm lucky to have people throughout my life who were willing to put up with me and my incompetence.  I'm getting out more, thankfully.  Iin the past, when I wasn't at school or dragged with the parents to run errands, I was holed up in my room doing everything except the things I was supposed to be doing (aka schoolwork and learning how to do stuff besides playing video games and surfing the internet).  In fact, much of my being proactive came from actively going against what I've internalized from my parents.  Of course, they wanted me to get out more, but they had narrow qualifications for the "good" and "bad" kind of getting out.  To my mom at least, the "bad" was anything that I didn't get paid for.  She doesn't know how to go out and experience the world, and she's goddamn proud of herself for it.

 

So yeah, my entire life revolves around dealing with incompetence, both from myself and from the people who are supposed to make me competent.  It's not that fun, but at least I'm getting myself out of that hole, one ledge at a time.

[Marth 338]

Well I don't have much to say other than when I tried befriending others they decided to use that as a weakness, and decide to just insult me, and the one person who cared about me is best friends with one of them, and what's worse, is he's (my "friend") is best friends with the one who wants me dead. I can't forgive him but I can forgive anyone else who insults me. Maybe it's because he's best friends with him or something? I don't really know. Strange how I forget I was really tortured with malice (I think tortured with malice is an okay word for it??? Idk) yet I forgive them and not the one who cared (and now I'm just repeating). It could be because he was very clueless that I was suffering from them... Hell ever since then, I just insult myself. You see my title? That's what I think of myself both here and offline. And it may be because of it...

Edited July 7, 2013 by WingedIcarus

[I♥KH 1,280]

Nah of mine in few words. 

I never get peoples.

My friends... Some now don't remember me,some hates me now.

My elementary school. LIKE A GETTO. I growed up with videogames, and english cartoon-network then I early begin learn another cultures, and languages.

In elementary/primary school, I get some friends, but they begin hates me, because I never lied, I loved reading and games. I always thinked my boy classmates like bros.

After they begins hate me , I don't know why, they said, because I speak too fast(that's true, but really hate because this?), Im too tall and blah blah. I allways hated saw somebody hurt the weakest peoples, or hurt another person feeling, I always defensed the weakest peoples, then I usually has fights. I beated some boys.After now I went to highschool, now I saw spoiled b*** rich classmates, whos speaking idiotic gossips in my back. Seriously. Now they dislike me, because I "weird"-love games and speaking fast. Something never change. 

[HarLea Quinn 26,501]

When I first saw this thread I mulled over whether I wanted to share much about me but I decided to anyways since someone here was ignorant enough to assume I Iived a 'privileged' life. I don't like to complain much about what I've been through bc I feel like most everyone has their cross to bear and there are always people suffering worse than you somewhere. I came from a product of divorce and my biological father was abusive and then ended up abandoning me and my brother after my parents divorced. My mom then remarried and my stepfather beat us severely with anything he had around and it wasn't until the courts took me away after finding out he was sexually assaulting me that I had any relief. Ironically, this was the second time in my life at such a young age i was sexually assaulted bc the neighbor my mom trusted to babysit my brother and I got caught assaulting us red handed when she came home from getting groceries earlier than expected ..When my stepfather was doing it, he threatened our lives so many times it took me awhile to tell my mom and when I did tell her she didn't even do anything about it right away bc she didn't want to be divorced a second time and a single mom again . She then confided in a family friend who then contacted the police. She eventually got me back from foster care and got remarried again. She then had many more kids and being the oldest girl I was the one who took care of them all while my brothers who were only a year apart from me got to do whatever they wanted. I was the nanny and housekeeper in one . I wasn't allowed to do much outside of the house or hang out with any friends much. At school, bc I came from such a large family we couldn't afford many expensive clothes that the other kids wore and I was in the 'gifted ' classes so I was bullied relentlessly for years till one day I got in their faces and told them to firetruck off. It actually worked . From then on I just didn't give a firetruck and stuck up for myself . My only true best friend got ran over and died and I mourned her greatly. I graduated early from high school at 16 and my dream was to be a fighter pilot in the Air Force. But I almost died and was diagnosed with Crohns and Ulcerative Colitis and have struggled with it ever since. I have lost half my colon and have had many many blood transfusions..I lost my dream of flying which devastated me. I did go to college and got a degree in Dietetics but it wasn't what I truly wanted .I worked my way through and worked in the food industry and whenever I excelled i had other co-workers resent me and say the only reason I got 'favored ' treatment at work was bc of my looks when it had EVERYTHING to do with my top numbers and work performance and nothing to do with that. They would spread rumors that I must be sleeping with the general manager and other BS. None of it was true. I have had to take medical leave from everything bc I spend so much time in the hospital and sick that it has taken over my life completely. People have literally looked down upon me for being sick like I have any choice in it .. Anyways, this is just a basic synopsis and I have left some stuff out for reasons but my point to this post is, be careful who you judge and how you treat people and do not assume you think you know who they are and what their lives have been . You may be surprised.

[Reyn 1,755]

@Lea O_O Wow Lea, im so sorry that happened to you.

 

Well, if you want my past, so be it.

 

I was very very coddled AND EXTREMELY SENSITIVE LIKE THE REST OF MY FAMILY ON MY DADS SIDE, and an only child when i was young, thanks to my mom, and that screwed me over when i started going to school. Since i was an only child, i didn't know how to share with anyone(but i got over that quick). Since i was so coddled and innocent, i never dreamed that the kids could be so cruel. I was always called "Shorty" by EVERYONE save for the few people who i was kind too, who became my friends.  I only had like 2 people though. -_- I got over it in second grade, thanks to my dad showing me its not so bad, and they stopped. But still, i was picked on. I never did ANYTHING TO ANYONE to deserve what i got, they just picked on me since i was wimpy, and a crybaby. I barely cried before i went to school, at least thats what my parents say, since i was always happy at home and had no real reason to be sad.

 

The only good years i had in Elementary were 3rd and 4th grades. Everything else was SHIT. My parents almost divorced in 2nd grade, and that alone made me really depressed. In 5th, i was bullied, though in the beginning i kinda started by punching the guy who threw a ball at me(THough he was my friend, and he was doing that playfully, not to hurt me, and i was too sensitive and turned it into something alot worse) and then he started bullying me. It got physical, and i moved to another class in the same school. In someways that was a good thing, because it allowed me to get a backbone finally and fight back, and it made me realize, i had to get my sensitivity under control and not be so quick to get angry and pissed. And to realize, i lost a good friend because of my actions. We made up and became friends again in Middle School, but still. Its because of ALL THESE THINGS that i ended up hating school, not because it was boring. Though the boring part did help. My fantastic Middle School made me realize that it wasnt that i thought school was boring that i hated it, it was because of the bad memories that i had in Elementary that really contributed to me hating it in the end.

 

Middle school was good, so im not gonna elaborate on it except for one thing. I was bullied in 7th grade by this stupid ass called Roland. I didn't do ANYTHING to piss him off, he just picked on me for the fun of it. Eventually he started hitting me, and it got physical.

So, then the principal had him moved to a different set of classes. Then his best friend found out what i did, and HE STARTED picking on me. But he got over it, he's a cool guy. Roland is still a douchebag though. But this experience was also good for me, as i realized, i was a wimp, and even though i have the will to fight back and not be pushed around, what good is it if i can't even defend myself successfully. So i started working out, and am still working out now, 1 year and a half later. Ive bulked up alot more, and im ready for anything that might come in high school. Im one of the examples that Kids can be REALLY CRUEL.

 

So yeah, i had a dark past. But, im looking to the future, and ignoring the bad stuff, as it'll only drag me down. I know that now.

[Lady Aleister 1,677]

I cannot remember before the age of eight. I only remember very small things. I was eight when I moved and that is why I was very anti-social when I first came here.

My parents have many things they don't tell me. From the information I have gathered, some of my distant relatives are murderers. I wasn't in school a lot during 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade. In third grade, I always had gotten sick because I have celic disease. In those three grades I was sent to the city to get test ran on me. I had a lot  of test done on me. And after all those test, the doctors stopped saying that I had nothing wrong with me. Just a month ago, my mom told me I way clairvoyant. I have had my clairvoyant moments. Last week we went somewhere and I knew I'd been there before. Everyone in my family swore that we'd never been there. 

I've always been an outcast because of my size and I'm going into High School and turning anti-social again because I have been betrayed. Since May, my family has became rather abusive to me. My bipolar sister cusses me out and beats me up. My parents ignore me and don't listen to me. 

Me, knowing that I'm different, knowing I don't remember eight years of my life...knowing I'm a psychic slightly. 

I have had odd experiences before. I've spoken to an angel I guess you could call her.

Odd things have happened to me and I'm just waiting. Waiting for something to happen. I'm ready for anything. 

[TheApprenticeofKingMickey 3,689]

It's really long so spoiler tags.

 

 

Well, let’s see… When I was six, I was diagnosed with ADHD due to the fact I would create havoc in the classroom all the time. During most of my elementary and junior high school years, I was verbally and emotionally abused, not to mention used by people who kept telling me they were my friends and my extended family. It caused me to be diagnosed with depression when I was ten. It continued up until the eighth grade, I believe. I also suffered academically in those years too, especially in math.In eighth grade, I was finally diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, a form of autism. We also discovered I had a sensory disability called synesthesia. This caused a lot of changes academically and my parents realized that because these changes weren’t made sooner, I had also developed a severe math learning disability. I had made new friends by the time I entered junior high, though I lost them in high school due to them socializing with other people and they just kind of forgot about me. I tried to keep in contact with them but most of the time, they would almost never reply. It made me angry, because they knew it was difficult for me to make the first step in socializing.Ummm, what else? This girl who claimed she was a good friend had also emotionally and sexually manipulated me into having sex with her multiple times. She often threatened me with her friendship if I said no, so considered how much of a loner I was, along with my naivety and social immaturity, I never really refused. Turns out she had done this to other people too.That was kind of uncomfortable to write, I haven’t though about that in a long time.Let’s see… In 2011, that was when I joined KH13. I learnt a lot of lessons joining this site, good and hard ones. I also became a global moderator on here, which was a really great experience, and I’ll never regret the choices I made. Though I was unfortunately cyber bullied by two members on here who wanted to make me miserable for what they believed was me abusing my powers. At the same time, my parents and I had discovered that I had photosensitivity. (At the time, I was suffering from constant sensory overloads and headaches thanks to a combination of it and my synesthesia.)On top of that, the amount of work my classes were demanding and the talks my teachers were giving me a really hard time in school. The constant talks they had about what I had to do after I left high school, what kind of job I would get or university I would have to attend were causing me extreme stress and along with the cyber bullying and the overloads, it caused a breaking point in me becoming depressed again.I also made a lot of friends on KH13, though the ones I was really close with all turned out to be assholes in the end. Said they cared and loved me, but turns out they were really intolerant of my disabilities and their symptoms. Probably due to lack of maturity, considering all these “friends” were younger than me. I haven’t talked to them since March of this year and I’ve felt so much better without them in my life. But I made better friends like Trey, Kotah, Briana, Sil, Keys, SLH, Koko, Kaiso and I guess Proto, Steve and Ivan are now part of that list. And I hope more friends; both from Tumblr and KH13 will become a part of that in the future.

 

[RoxSox 3,593]

The uncle who everyone in my family loved, and even some of my own friends really liked, and that I trusted and thought of as more of a father then my actual father turned out to be a child molester.

[VisitJoan 2,713]

Anyways, this is just a basic synopsis and I have left some stuff out for reasons but my point to this post is, be careful who you judge and how you treat people and do not assume you think you know who they are and what their lives have been . You may be surprised.

Totally agreed.  My childhood does seem that bad now.

 

Let's see - I have so much to say.  To start, because I have ADHD teachers at school always thought I couldn't do the stuff I was capable of.  I had to fight to get into honors classes in high school.  In middle school I was the reject of the rejects and the friends I had were only being nice to me to make fun of me like everyone else.  I was just so happy to make friends that I didn't even notice it because I always wanted to have friends my age so I could always have someone to partner with.  The best thing that happened to me was them going to a different high school.

 

My childhood was bad, but not as bad as what some of you talked about.  Thank you all, especially Flaming Lea, for showing me that.  We are fighters, and I'm so happy to have friends who know what a childhood of hardships is like.

[Dracozombie 4,554]

I know, right?  Now I feel bad for complaining... I pretty much lost any rights to do that.