Text My Poems

[DoctorChurchie 54]

[align=center]Hidden Pain ~ BDS

 

"On the outside

I may be laughing

But have you ever wondered

What really runs through my head?

Could I be screaming out in pain?

Could I be yelling out in fear?

Could I just be wishing that I were no longer here?

Have you ever thought it through?

What others feel

Think

Love

And hate

Have you ever wondered

If you're really liked for who you are?

Or if you're someone's plaything

That they can manipulate

And then throw away?

Have you ever thought that those who claim

That they are your friends

Turn out to be your enemies?

And that they deceived you

And called you names behind your back

Only to look at you with a smile

That only seems friendly"

 

My Demise ~ BDS

 

"Darkness consumes me

As I fall into the black

My heart's not there

It never has been

Don't think that I don't know

What you really think of me

So that's the way it'll be

Hand me the sword

Covered in my blood

And I'll stab my non-existing heart

You can sit there and laught at me

As this cold world fades away

And you can throw me dead

Into the fires of Hell

And you can watch me burn

Hear me scream

See me writhe

And listen to my anguish as I die

This is what you wanted

But I wanted this too

So I won the game

I just wanted it to end"

 

Why? ~ BDS

 

"With the weight of the world

Resting heavily on my shoulders

I can't help but to feel that life is unfair

Like the cruel mistress that we call night

It only fills us with cold despair

But with a fake smile

I continue on

Pretending that life is great

That it is perfect

But it is only a mask that I wear

The truth that I seek is that of a mean joke

One that is played on the unfortunate

With its unhappy intentions playing out

And the one that is the victim screaming

I ask myself "Why?"

Why can't the world be perfect as it is in the books

Like the world our parents told us about when we were children

Why does there have to be certain death

Why can't everybody just live

To live your life to its fullest

Never wasting a moment

To figure out the riddle called living

And to still live on

With the others continue to struggle

With life's true meaning"[/align]

[Cricket 1,180]

You have quite a writing/poetry talent. I really like them especially "Why" and "Hidden Pain".

[Sora shadow 0]

oh wow that are great poems

[DoctorChurchie 54]

I actually have more poems, and maybe I'll post them up later.

 

 

[align=center]Torturing Me ~ BDS

 

"Trying to hide the fact that I'm crying

Trying to use the mask of happiness

You can't see that this is only a mirror

Of the happiness I felt

Of the life I once held

 

You don't know how much of this pain that I hide

I'm dying now slowly and painfully inside

With the time that has passed

And knowing that you're gone

Doesn't seem that real to me

The memory that you left behind for me to see

Left me tortured

 

Try to mend these wounds so I can heal the pain

Try to stop the bleeding That can't go away

You don't see me breaking a falling apart

Snapping at the seams

Life is ending for me

 

You don't know how much of this pain that I hide

I'm dying now slowly and painfully inside

With the time that has passed

I begin to wonder why

You haven't yet left me

With this memory that I hide

 

You don't know how much of this pain that I hide

I'm dying now slowly and painfully inside

With the time that has passed

And knowing that you're gone

Doesn't seem real to me

This memory that you've left for me to see

Keeps torturing me"

 

 

 

The Art of Role-Play ~ BDS

 

"The tears that I cry

Is like a waterfall that never runs dry

A world of endless pain

I've had all that I can take

The face that you see

Is a miracle called role play

I play the girl who is happy

And the girl who laughs

The girl who has no fears

Who never has to hide her falling tears

The girl who is loved for who she is

And not for what she could be

But look in the mirrior in her eyes

And witness all that she bears

The painful memories of loss

Of deceit

Of darkness

And of her own Hell inside

A world of all things broken

Of all cruel things that exist

A world of nothing but hideous mistakes

Who could live in a cold place like this?"

 

 

 

Wasted Years ~ BDS

 

"Years we've spent

You and I

Best friends and sisters

Always talking of our dreams

The things that we knew to be true

The things that we only saw

You were there for me

Like I was there for you

Three years we journeyed

All through our wicked minds

Planning and scheming and wasting precious time

We had a pretend family

You were my husband

And I was your wife

But then one day everything changed

I saw you coming down the hall of our school

And I ran to you screaming

"Sarah, Sarah! Good news!"

You only looked at me and you broke my heart

My heart is a fragile thing

Not easily mended

But easily broken

I tried to face you many times

But each time left me wondering about what happened

I finally asked you

"Sarah do you hate me?"

And with the last time of speaking to me

You said blankly

"I don't hate you, Brittany, I'm just annoyed by you"

If you didn't hate me

Then why did you leave me alone

If you could only see

The pain that you've caused me

I cry over our lost friendship

Even to today

But I want you to know

I could never hate you

Even after all this time

You were my best friend

My sister

My first real friend in such a long time

I still see a small fragment of hope

Everytime I see you

That we could go back to the days that we laughed

To the days where I never cried

And all of the time that we spent together

Might seem like wasted time to you

But to me they're precious memories

Of the good times we shared

Between me and you

I'll always be your friend

Even if you're not mine

If you ever read this

You know where to find me

Just come

And I'll be there

Like the old days

And the memories that we shared"

 

 

My Fate ~ BDS

 

"I'm broken

Into a thousand pieces

I'm bleeding

From a million places

And I'm fading

From all your minds

And I'm dreaming

About our lives

These are the things I say

A beating heart that talks

It speaks of what it takes

To make the pain stop

A life no longer needed

So cast me away

And send me gracefully

Into flames

 

I can't stay here

I've gotta die

I've always known

That this is my life

No longer breathing

No longer alive

I lay here bleeding

But I don't die

I was born for this

I can't escape

My fate"

 

 

Whispers in the Night ~ BDS

 

"When I heard the truth

When my fears had been realized

I thought I had lost it all

I soon found tears flooding my sight

And plans of how to end it all in my mind

Who could be so cruel

As to throw someone's love away?

Do the months I gave you

Mean as little as a word?

Or did they mean something in the beginning

And they just began to lose their worth?

 

But then in the midst of my despair

An angel of love came to me

He said that the pain was only temporary

That it would be all right

And that he would make sure of it

He would help me get through it

For as long as it took

He would stay there

Just like a whisper in the night"

 

 

Always and Forever ~ BDS

 

"Friends now

Friends then

Freinds forever until the end

 

You were there when I cried

You were there when he lied

You were there when I almost died

 

You held my hand when times got tough

Making me remember to never give up

Reminding me that you are my friend

 

We both crossed that damned ocean

Making it to the safety of the shore

Pulling us both out of drowning despair

 

It was then that I realized that I loved you

As a sister would a brother

Promising to be each other's angel

 

Angels of life

Saving each other

Always and forever"[/align]

[Repliku 1]

I remember most of these poems from early in our relationship. They still make me a little sad, but that just shows how well they're written. When you can stir the emotions of the reader, you have succeeded.

[Sorage55 10]

OY! This has touched what emotions I have left inside me. Good literature indeed, i've read every poem urging for more.

[Repliku 1]

I remember most of these poems from early in our relationship. They still make me a little sad, but that just shows how well they're written. When you can stir the emotions of the reader, you have succeeded.

 

OY! This has touched what emotions I have left inside me. Good literature indeed, i've read every poem urging for more.

 

Point proven.

[DoctorChurchie 54]

I'll be sure to write more. ^_^

[DoctorChurchie 54]

[align=center]Ending It ~ BDS

 

"I'm trying hard to ease the pain

That was left all by you

I've cut

I've bled

And I've tried for dead

But nothing seems to work

With scars that will never heal now

Just like my broken heart

I've decided to say

That I'll end my pain

Starting tonight

 

I pull the gun out of the top of the closet

And hold it to my head

I gather my nerves to pull the trigger

But this happens instead

I hear your voice call to me

But I still can't see

So I go ahead

And I cease my pain

And I slowly fall dead"

 

 

 

I Try ~ BDS

 

"Save me now

From the crazy things that I've done

I'm crying out

For the one who'll help me save me now

Can you hear me?

I'm screaming for you and I want to make things right

I'm saying that I can't do it on my own

I need your help

 

I try

To be the strong girl that you want me to be

Well I try

To see the good things that you see inside of me

It's so hard

To trust the things that you want me to believe

But I try to

But I'm telling you that it's just so hard to believe"

 

 

 

The End ~ BDS

 

"Not seeing a change

Not liking who I am

Who am I supposed to be

If I can no longer be me

How can I end this pain

That I put in everyone

In my mind there's only one answer

The end of me is the key

To fixing all that I've caused to go wrong

The only way that I see fit

Is to end my life

With the Sword of Death

Kill my soul

With the words that you don't care

And burn my body

Send me to Hell for I belong there

And just end my being for all of time

Because you don't need me here

And you know that I don't belong here

That I belong among the dead

So before I go

Before I die

Promise me these three things

That you won't cry for me

That you won't think of me

And that you won't show me any fear

For I'm not living anymore

You never have held me dear

But you should know that

And that I'm no longer here"

 

 

 

 

Within Me ~ BDS

 

"With a hidden wicked smile

I hold onto a secret dark power

That lies restlessly in my heart

I know that I shouldn't tell you

I don't know what would compel me

To show you the truth

 

I see you shake

I hear the sharp intake of your breath

I see you tremble uncontroallably

As I begin to change

Oh how quickly I do change

Into the thing that truly is me

The monster within me

 

You start to pray

That I won't take you away

I laugh at your stupidity

With your end at hand

Oh how I'm glad

That your praying won't cease your sweet tears

 

In my deep, dark voice

I start to curse

All who came before

The anger that I have

Causes the ground at my feet

To break away

But you can't

And you won't stay

Because guess what

It's far too late

 

Winter blue eyes

They begin to shine

With an awful blood red glow

A dark devil

Slowly shows

I embrace the dark

Along with the rest that's feared

And in my hand

A skeletal form grows

Coming when I call

For it always knows

When blood it too be spilled

My chilling call cries out

As a scythe that's made

From my flesh

From my blood

And my tears

Springs from my palm

And in a moment I will choose

The path that I'm to take

To execute my plans

To kill you and the others

Or to make my escape

The thing you see

With giant black wings

I can honestly tell you

You're not seeing me

The thing now standing

Where I once stood

Is an ancient breed

What you now see

Is the Crusnik in me"

 

 

 

The Feelings of my Heart ~ BDS

 

"With an unhappy smile I look ahead

I don't see much

I see only what's dead

The things that have been forgotten

The things that people no longer need

They no longer can see them

They can only see me

I wonder what it's like

To live among the dead

To live your life unwanted

Uncared for

And never needed

But not liking what I see

I reach out for them

But they don't reach back for me

I reach even farther but then pull back

I ask myself, "What's there to fear?"

I can't go back!

 

But then a thought hits me

I can't diamiss it

What if I'm the one who's dead

Buried beneath the earth

Cold, and alone

What if I'm the one who stares without ever seeing

And they stare back

Because they feel my watchful eyes

But if I am dead

And watch over them

I'm doing it to protect them

 

But I then see the man that I so dearly loved

With his eyes locked to mine

I try to recall

Did I tell him how I felt?

And if I did what did he say?

Did he say, "I love you too?"

Or was it, "You're crazy! I could never be with you!"

The thought of the past brings a tear to my eye

My twisted past might have been the cause of my dimise

 

And if I could talk to him one more time

I would ask him one question

"Do you love me? Or were you the one who killed me?"

"Did you protect me? Or shoot me?"

I call out

Without much luck

And I promise myself one last thing

I think of how my life was

With all of my dumb luck

 

If you said yes

Then why am I here

All alone

Cold

And filled with fear

But if you said no

Then I now know why

I now live in this place

Of sadness, and dispair

And I pray that you did say yes

That you did want me by your side

 

And I think about how my life would've turned out

If you did say yes

Would my life change for the better

Or would it never change at all

So I stand and I watch as the years float by

In this eternal hell

I don't live in the sky

As my curiosity gets the better of me

I become haunted by the unknown

Of how my life would change

And of how I now live alone"

 

 

 

Friends Only ~ BDS

 

"Together we're friends

We share the same foes

We all fight as one

Together we fall as a whole

We struggle side-by-side

And we never back down

We've made it this far

So we've got a reason to be proud

But if we fail

We tried our best

To end all crime

To pass the test

So the time has come

To face our biggest fears

To be the best

To be the first

To be the one who wins

And finally to avenge my friends

They were all so close

To discovering the truth

They were all so near

To keeping their lives

But now that they're gone

And I'm all alone

I can say now

That as the saying goes

Friends only can conquer evil

Friends only are the only true family

Friends only are true

And we were

Friends only"[/align]

 

 

To those of you who have read my poems and have said that you liked them, I thank you. But most of these poems are based on things that have happened in my life. Especially "Wasted Years", and "Hidden Pain". "Wasted Years" was written when my best friend Sarah decided that she no longer wanted to be my friend anymore, and then soon after that another one of my friends abanonded me as well. But just realize, that when you're reading these poems, you're reading my life.