Text The formation of: The goddess of the Hunt.

[BlackKitten 16]

(Note: Hey guys, I wanted to start something new.I am studying greek and egyptian mythology. So, I had a few Ideas. Tell me what you think.)

 

(Chapter one) A Goddess Gets Killed..

 

In the wooded area of Olympus, Played a little girl and boy. Seven yearold Artemis and Ten yearold Apollo. They were brother and sister, Yet to find out what was their "Secret Identity." Artemis ran around the forest as her brother chased her. "I'm gonna get you,Artemis!" He yelled happily. Artemis screamed and ran away.

She had her auburn hair in a ponytail. And her eyes that shined pale as the moon. She laughed as her brother tackled her. They rolled around, being exposed to the winter air. A strange man then walked up to them. "Hello, Children." He said sternly. He reached out and grabbed Artemis. "Let my sister go!" Apollo screamed. The man dragged Artemis a few feet and stabbed her in the stomach then dropped her. "No!" Apollo screamed, He grabbed a knife and tackled the man. "I will kill you!" Apollo screamed. He repeatedly stabbed the man in the chest. The man slowly disintegrated. Apollo stood and walked to Artemis who was passed out on the ground. He sat down and put her head on his lap as the blood covered him. "Its okay, Sissy." He said softly. "Everything is okay..." He said softer. Her breathing slowed and slowed. He got up and ran. "Mom!, Dad!' He screamed. Zeus and His wife Leto. "Yes, Son?" They said in a panic. "Artemis, Got stabbed by someone and she is dying, Help!' He said with tears in his eyes. They looked at his pants drenched in blood and ran into the woods, Searching for Artemis.

 

 

 

(Note: I am making a version of how Apollo and Artemis became god and goddess of light and the night. So tell me what ya think.. Have a nice day/night.~BlackKitten)

Edited March 14, 2013 by BlackKitten

[Oishii 3,987]

It's a good start but it feels very much the bare bones of what happened.  I can't say I can immerse myself in it; I can't feel the happiness and terror, sense the sounds, tastes, smells, ect.  It's mostly "X happened, which caused Y, which led to Z".  Just something to think about.  Also, I don't think his parents would happily respond, "Yes, son?"  I've been in enough accidents to know that parents can hear terror in their child's voice a mile away and will panic as soon as they hear it.

 

That said, I LOVE a person who writes with mythological inspiration so I want to see you make something really amazing

[Xaldin III 80]

Weren't they twins?

[BlackKitten 16]

At the time they didn't know whether the kids could have been playing or true terror. They wouldn't know because they were occupied with the responsiblities of Olympus.

They wouldn't be able to had guess or...such say know the scream of the boy. They would guess that they were in a sort of game. They answered "Happily" Because they had their thoughts that their kids were actually having fun like normal kids also but also there is the point of doubt they choose not to think about in these circumstances.

And also they were twins, I form them as god and goddess of day and night because also Helios and Selene were the god and goddess of the sun and moon, But in some forms the four gods traded places at certain times