Text Idea for a Story - The Tragic Kingdom

[Lu Xun 2,069]

Hey guys. This is just a draft of a possible idea for a story I just thought of. I'm also writing this from my iPhone so sorry for any mistake. Please reply with what you think so that I may consider writing more about this. Thanks!

I might edit and make it better once I get my new laptop

 

The Tragic Kingdom - (Small) Prologue

 

In a Kingdom named Fyluna, peace was kept for more than 50 years. There had only been one war, which happened when it was first built. Two friends named Jiin Hilton and Kevin Klaytob were the ones who decided to create that kingdom.

 

However, once it was finished, one of them had to become the King. But things like this never end peacefully. Both of them desired the throne, and civil war seemed inevitable. The war lasted for many years, and only finished when Kevin died of a serious illness.

 

Jiin was already an old man by that time. He had a son and a daughter, but even so, he felt like no one cared about him. He regretted everything now-- the war, his best friend's death-- even though he clearly knew nothing could change the past.

 

Some years later, he died from the same illness that had taken his best friend away from this world. A nation, named Retart, ruled by Reynald II, ended up discovering about the King's death, and saw this as an opportunity of conquering another territory. The kingdom was going through chaotic times since they lost their King. A spy managed to tell Jorge, Jiin's son, about the plan of attacking the Kingdom.

 

But it might had been too late. They prepared a plan to at least defend themselves from the enemy's massive attack. But in the end, they lost the war, and were forced to leave their home. Rafaella, Jorge's sister, together with him, promised to get their kingdom back, and kill every single person from that terrible nation, which took advantage from them during the worst moment of their lives.

[Geralt 4,874]

I love it! :DD It's really good so far. You must write more!!

[Shera Wizard 2,736]

I LOVE STORIES WHICH HAS ROYAL STUFF/WAR AND AFTERMATH AND SIMILAR LIKE THIS *o* I love the idea, keep writing!

[Indecypher 495]

You might wanna rename the nation from "Retart" unless you were going for humor.

[Lu Xun 2,069]

I love it! :DD It's really good so far. You must write more!!

I LOVE STORIES WHICH HAS ROYAL STUFF/WAR AND AFTERMATH AND SIMILAR LIKE THIS *o* I love the idea, keep writing!

Thanks, guys! I'm already thinking about the characters and their personality, so be ready for more soon! I think I'll actually make a part dedicated to the previous war and about their friendship.

 

You might wanna rename the nation from "Retart" unless you were going for humor.

Haha might put Redard or something

[teh lazy prince Xylek 1,559]

good so far keep it up! or don't your the author...WHATEVER you do im sure it will turn out good

[Sora's Baby 729]

Nice story.I like the names you used.

[riku13 148]

Pretty good so far I like these types of settings but the only thing I don't get is if the Invading king wanted to take over why wait so long when he could've taken it over during the civil war unless he had just gotten the throne because he is the II and the king before him had good relations with jiin but whatever the case the storry is good and you should write more.  

[advfox 698]

I'm not usually interested in these kinds of stories, but this is an exception! Please write more!

[dusk 910]

Story seems pretty interesting so far. Keep it up! I hope you keep story as realistic as possible! (not any magics or some unlogical stuff) 

 

OKay I am being really nitpicky right now, but that one certain name "Retart" really bothers me.. I don't know it just is kinda out of the place. 

[Lu Xun 2,069]

good so far keep it up! or don't your the author...WHATEVER you do im sure it will turn out good

Nice story.I like the names you used.

 

Thank you two! hope you're looking forward to more!

I'm not usually interested in these kinds of stories, but this is an exception! Please write more!

Thanks, bro

 

Story seems pretty interesting so far. Keep it up! I hope you keep story as realistic as possible! (not any magics or some unlogical stuff) 

 

OKay I am being really nitpicky right now, but that one certain name "Retart" really bothers me.. I don't know it just is kinda out of the place. 

Haha I will change it soon!

 

Pretty good so far I like these types of settings but the only thing I don't get is if the Invading king wanted to take over why wait so long when he could've taken it over during the civil war unless he had just gotten the throne because he is the II and the king before him had good relations with jiin but whatever the case the storry is good and you should write more.  

You'll understand things when the next chapters are up!

[Weiss 8,279]

It looks like it could be a great idea! Can't wait to see more!

[Tails 6,692]

Wow, this was a really great story Lu Xun (;.

[Lu Xun 2,069]

I will make this chapter better once I get my new computer. I'm still on my iPhone, so sorry for any mistake. The next ones will detail more than this one. Hope you enjoy!

 

 

Chapter 1 - The First War

 

 

In a far away land, a Kingdom was once built. It's creators were Kevin and Jiin, two young men, wishing to have a wonderful and unique life. They had a strong friendship since they were two little kids.

 

Firstly, it was decided that they would divide the power to rule the Kingdom, so they wouldn't have to fight over the throne. However, that arrangement would not work forever. Two years later, a King was needed, since the people were divided into two; a part wished that the Kingdom would become a democracy, while others wished to keep the way it had always been.

 

Jiin and Kevin weren't able to maintain their previous way of ruling anymore, since one wanted to turn it into a democracy and the other, just keep it as it was. Civil war seemed inevitable, and so both started to fight over the throne.

 

Jiin was married to Katharine, and had a son and a daughter. The kids had a terrible childhood, being forced to live in the middle of a war. Kevin was married to Sasha, and they had a teenager named Jake.

 

The war lasted for ten years, and both sides lost as much as it was possible to lose. Both Jiin and Kevin made pacts with groups of assassins, and deaths were unavoidable. First, Katharine and her parents were cruelly murdered. The assassins threw thousands of knives on them, and their deaths were truly painful.

 

Taken by the feelings of hatred, Jiin sent two specialists to bring an end to Sasha and her sister, Manuella, who was nothing more than an innocent victim in the war. They were tortured for hours, when the assassins finally gave the final blow; they were locked in a room without air, and soon, no screams could never be heard ever again from these poor souls.

 

Many more people were killed, including Jiin's and Kevin's parents. Unnecessary blood was split, and that Kingdom would never be as peaceful as it once was.

 

The war seemed endless, but just as thousand of people, Kevin left this world. A serious illness was responsible for his death. By that time, Jiin was already forty-years-old, left only with his son and daughter.

 

Strangely, Jiin wasn't as happy as he thought he'd be once the war was over. Was all of that meant to happen? Did he need to witness all of that pain and sadness only because of a stupid throne? Unfortunately, he couldn't do anything to rewrite his past. He was now the King, and had at least to pretend he was happy.

 

Faking smiles everyday was what he could do from now on. But inside, his heart had been injured forever. Nothing could heal those wounds from his family's and best friend's deaths.

[Indecypher 495]

I will make this chapter better once I get my new computer. I'm still on my iPhone, so sorry for any mistake. The next ones will detail more than this one. Hope you enjoy!Chapter 1 - The First WarIn a far away land, a Kingdom was once built. It's creators were Kevin and Jiin, two young men, wishing to have a wonderful and unique life. They had a strong friendship since they were two little kids.Firstly, it was decided that they would divide the power to rule the Kingdom, so they wouldn't have to fight over the throne. However, that arrangement would not work forever. Two years later, a King was needed, since the people were divided into two; a part wished that the Kingdom would become a democracy, while others wished to keep the way it had always been.Jiin and Kevin weren't able to maintain their previous way of ruling anymore, since one wanted to turn it into a democracy and the other, just keep it as it was. Civil war seemed inevitable, and so both started to fight over the throne.Jiin was married to Katharine, and had a son and a daughter. The kids had a terrible childhood, being forced to live in the middle of a war. Kevin was married to Sasha, and they had a teenager named Jake.The war lasted for ten years, and both sides lost as much as it was possible to lose. Both Jiin and Kevin made pacts with groups of assassins, and deaths were unavoidable. First, Katharine and her parents were cruelly murdered. The assassins threw thousands of knives on them, and their deaths were truly painful.Taken by the feelings of hatred, Jiin sent two specialists to bring an end to Sasha and her sister, Manuella, who was nothing more than an innocent victim in the war. They were tortured for hours, when the assassins finally gave the final blow; they were locked in a room without air, and soon, no screams could never be heard ever again from these poor souls.Many more people were killed, including Jiin's and Kevin's parents. Unnecessary blood was split, and that Kingdom would never be as peaceful as it once was.The war seemed endless, but just as thousand of people, Kevin left this world. A serious illness was responsible for his death. By that time, Jiin was already forty-years-old, left only with his son and daughter.Strangely, Jiin wasn't as happy as he thought he'd be once the war was over. Was all of that meant to happen? Did he need to witness all of that pain and sadness only because of a stupid throne? Unfortunately, he couldn't do anything to rewrite his past. He was now the King, and had at least to pretend he was happy.Faking smiles everyday was what he could do from now on. But inside, his heart had been injured forever. Nothing could heal those wounds from his family's and best friend's deaths.

Detailed indeed, that was some heavy stuff.

[Sora's Baby 729]

I guess not everyone follows there hearts.

[Geralt 4,874]

I love it! awesome job! Can't wait for more!!!

[Silvia Kuroi 1,480]

Nice job as always, Lu Xun!

[Kirie 3,489]

wow you must have put alot of effort to make this story good job lu xun

[Weiss 8,279]

A great chapter! Very nice job! I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next!

[Lu Xun 2,069]

wow you must have put alot of effort to make this story

good job lu xun

Nice job as always, Lu Xun!

I love it! awesome job! Can't wait for more!!!

I guess not everyone follows there hearts.

Detailed indeed, that was some heavy stuff.

Thanks for reading and commenting, guys! The best thing for me is to read your comments after a new chapter is posted! Also, if you enjoy the story and want to keep up with it, follow the topic if you haven't already. Since this is my last week of vacation, expect more chapters pretty soon!

[Shera Wizard 2,736]

LUUUU XXXUUUNNNN I'm sorry I couldn't reply earlier today D: I was in a hurry to school. I hope you aren't mad or anything :c

Anyways,

I loved the story so far! I think you really brought out that 'feel' of war there, can't wait to know what happens next! 

 

btw, when will we get the next chapter?

[advfox 698]

Keep it up! I really want to see what happens next!

[dusk 910]

NIce work with newest chapter! it was really fast to read, even though it wasn't too short (it really is annoying to read never ending chapters) 

Also, this chapter kinda surprised me, I have read lot of your stories, but chapter 1 had some really different plot twists compared to your another stories!

Keep up with good work!

[teh lazy prince Xylek 1,559]

LUUUU XXXUUUNNNN I'm sorry I couldn't reply earlier today D: I was in a hurry to school. I hope you aren't mad or anything :c

Anyways,

I loved the story so far! I think you really brought out that 'feel' of war there, can't wait to know what happens next! 

 

btw, when will we get the next chapter?

you said it wizard!