Aqua7KH 5,395 Posted November 16, 2012 (edited) . Edited May 21, 2014 by Aqua7KH 3 Sigrun, Soul Eater Evans and Demetri Burke reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roxas Seeking Light 93 Posted November 16, 2012 Hmm. slightly disturbing. I like it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
teh lazy prince Xylek 1,559 Posted November 16, 2012 i came here for the violence, i stayed because of the violence Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Eater Evans 4,045 Posted November 16, 2012 Aish, don't think I'm nitpicky or something, but it's harder to read without spacing it out evenly. So, it was okay. You can't help but have sympathy for the main character. Parents were bad, then went in and out of foster homes full of abusive people. I'm not really sure what I should comment. I'm not good at constructive reviews. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Demetri Burke 11 Posted November 16, 2012 good but the dinosaur? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sigrun 1,064 Posted November 16, 2012 I liked The way you written it but It felt a bit rushed, but I understood the Character and how a small moment of reprieve turned out to end bitterly. Not bad if this is a one-shot. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aqua7KH 5,395 Posted November 16, 2012 Aish, don't think I'm nitpicky or something, but it's harder to read without spacing it out evenly. So, it was okay. You can't help but have sympathy for the main character. Parents were bad, then went in and out of foster homes full of abusive people. I'm not really sure what I should comment. I'm not good at constructive reviews. I liked The way you written it but It felt a bit rushed, but I understood the Character and how a small moment of reprieve turned out to end bitterly. Not bad if this is a one-shot. I just realized about the spacing. Sorry. I wrote this on skype because it was originally just supposed to be a simple little messed up story {hence why I added the dinosaur at the end. It's a meme, actually.} and in skype, there's no auto-correct. And spacing is difficult. I completely forgot about it when I posted it on here. And about the rushed I know it's really rushed at the end. I kind of did that on purpose because I was really, really tired when I was writing it, and I just wanted to go to sleep. ^^' I think I should change it now. And I didn't expect to get a good response so I might even make a sequel or something. 1 Sigrun reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites