Text A Story I Wrote~ (Has some violent themes)

[Aqua7KH 5,395]

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Edited May 21, 2014 by Aqua7KH

[Roxas Seeking Light 93]

Hmm. slightly disturbing. I like it.

[teh lazy prince Xylek 1,559]

i came here for the violence, i stayed because of the violence

[Soul Eater Evans 4,045]

Aish, don't think I'm nitpicky or something, but it's harder to read without spacing it out evenly.

So, it was okay. You can't help but have sympathy for the main character. Parents were bad, then went in and out of foster homes full of abusive people.

I'm not really sure what I should comment. I'm not good at constructive reviews.

[Demetri Burke 11]

good but the dinosaur?

[Sigrun 1,064]

I liked The way you written it but It felt a bit rushed, but I understood the Character and how a small moment of reprieve turned out to end bitterly. Not bad if this is a one-shot.

[Aqua7KH 5,395]

Aish, don't think I'm nitpicky or something, but it's harder to read without spacing it out evenly.

So, it was okay. You can't help but have sympathy for the main character. Parents were bad, then went in and out of foster homes full of abusive people.

I'm not really sure what I should comment. I'm not good at constructive reviews.

 

I liked The way you written it but It felt a bit rushed, but I understood the Character and how a small moment of reprieve turned out to end bitterly. Not bad if this is a one-shot.

 

I just realized about the spacing. Sorry. I wrote this on skype because it was originally just supposed to be a simple little messed up story {hence why I added the dinosaur at the end. It's a meme, actually.} and in skype, there's no auto-correct. And spacing is difficult. I completely forgot about it when I posted it on here.

 

And about the rushed I know it's really rushed at the end. I kind of did that on purpose because I was really, really tired when I was writing it, and I just wanted to go to sleep. ^^' I think I should change it now. And I didn't expect to get a good response so I might even make a sequel or something.