Stop being so hard on yourselves!

[Phill Devil 48]

A friend of mine came to talk to me about how deppressed he was about everything. And how he lacked motivation or will to keep studying Law on his college.

I said that he should stop a bit and relax, moving foward like this isn't healthy for anyone but then...

 

Him: Gotta move foward. Even if it's not healthy.

Me: You should relax... But yeah, your parent's wouldn't let you, since they pay your college.

Him: If I relax now, I'll never get back to action. I have relaxed too much.

Me: Stop being so hard on yourself. Geez.

Him: I Cannot.

Me: It's stupid to see yourself like this! But I've been telling you that since the day we met, and you NEVER listen.

Him: And what should I do? Give up on everything?

Me: Just stop taking everything so seriously! .

You should recognize that everyone has it's own time to make their doings, and that human beings need rest!

To stop for a bit or to take it slowly is not giving up. It's just the recognition of your own limits.

Him: I won't be limited!

I WANT UNLIMITED POWER!

Me: Then kill yourself.

Maybe without a body you'll be able to get it. ¬¬

Him: Good idea. Ok then.

Me: Stop this stupidity.

You're so trapt...

To your own thoughts, to other people, to your parents, to money, to the system.

Your life is the only thig that is really yours.

If you want to take it away, it's your choice. I won't get in the way. However I higly advise you not to do so, after all it's the only thing that you really have.

Him: Ok, Phill. Thank you. Good night.

 

Then, I ask, why some people are so hard on themselves?

Like, yeah, you should always give your best at everything that you do, and work hard to get what you want! But it doesn't mean that you should blame yourself for every mistake, or start cursing at every obstacle. And furthermore, you should NOT work hard to the point of losing a part of your body. That isn't right.

Edited November 6, 2012 by Phill Devil

[Daniel Black 1,981]

Mmm really... they are many factors:

1) Economical pressure

2) think of it as a way to control themselfs

3) They want to be, or reach something than they are not.

 

In any form of these, the end is the same, each people have their own reasons, they live into their own little world and with their own problems...but indeed, everyone has their own limits, and many people don´t stop even when they know that they will be hurt sooner of later. People only change if they decide to change, so.. he needs to find his own way to not be so hard with them. It took time, but they need to learn the lesson, easy or hard way.. of course if you count with friends the charge is more easy to bear....

[Dracozombie 4,554]

They say you're your own worst critic. We're also really bad at judging how competent (or not) we really are at something. Some people are hard on themselves because they just like succeeding, or they don't know how to fail. There's an art to falling down gracefully and being able to pick yourself back up, something better learned sooner than later, because the price for failure becomes steeper the older you get. Law school isn't something you go into half-heartedly, and it's a tough, expensive investment, so I can understand why he'd want to push himself like that. In his position, failure isn't an option.

 

But, people do need to know how to relax. Time management is also about setting time aside for yourself. If someone thinks they're a machine that can consistently churn out good results, they should keep in mind that most machines need to be shut down every once in a while if they're to keep operating at maximum efficiency, and so they won't break down early on. Sometimes the machine even malfunctions for whatever reason, anything from a total shutdown to a screw coming loose somewhere. Some people think needing to take a break is a weakness. They're arrogant when they say that, thinking they can handle something difficult with no problem, no breaks, and if they can't, then they're unworthy. It's because of this arrogance that people are sometimes hard on themselves. They think they're so confident and awesome that if this Really Difficult Thing (like friggin' law school) is hard for them, and it's tough for them to do it, then it's because they're not worthy or they're doing something wrong. It's possible they truly are doing something wrong and they're rightfully blaming themselves, but more people should realize that if they're working hard and doing the right things, and they still feel burned out, it could be that, y'know, what they're doing is really friggin' tough. And if they're not doing the right thing, instead of wasting time bemoaning themselves, they should expend that energy trying to fix the problem.

[deathrebirthsenshi 279]

I blame society

 

I honestly have moments like your friend all the time...its like, I want to do well. And most of the time, I do. But lately, I've been doing very bad. And it just doesn't feel nice to be doing bad. Granted, I haven't really reached a level of overworking myself like it sounds your friend has--if anything, its probably the opposite for me but...

 

Oh great.This is turning confessional...

 

Sometimes people just don't realize the other options they have, or simply feel trapped and unable to explore other options, so they try to force themself into this option that they feel will, utlimately, lead them to greater success. Even if its becoming a little unhealthy for them. Because they just don't want to accept that perhaps this thing is beyond their reach, that perhaps they cannot do it, that perhaps they've taken on too much. So they automatically put the blame on theirselves, that they aren't working hard enough, because other people do it, so you must be able to too. I feel like this would be especially hard for law, which can get pretty competetive... I hope things turn out all right for your friend in the end.

[Spiney 125]

I know how this kid feels. I used to be extremely hard on myself when it came to school and it got to the point when I would completely break down before a test (anxiety, that was fun). =/ The reason why I was hard on myself was b/c I trying to please everyone else around me, mainly my family. And despite all my hard work, getting a's and b's, I still felt like I wasn't good enough. It took me a long time to figure out that I was taking the right steps with my life and now I try to be more optimistic Every situation is different, and I am not sure what to tell you about your friend. I think he might need to realize it for himself that he is doing a great job/not feel compelled what others want him to do.

[Phill Devil 48]

I blame society

 

I honestly have moments like your friend all the time...its like, I want to do well. And most of the time, I do. But lately, I've been doing very bad. And it just doesn't feel nice to be doing bad. Granted, I haven't really reached a level of overworking myself like it sounds your friend has--if anything, its probably the opposite for me but...

 

Oh great.This is turning confessional...

 

Sometimes people just don't realize the other options they have, or simply feel trapped and unable to explore other options, so they try to force themself into this option that they feel will, utlimately, lead them to greater success. Even if its becoming a little unhealthy for them. Because they just don't want to accept that perhaps this thing is beyond their reach, that perhaps they cannot do it, that perhaps they've taken on too much. So they automatically put the blame on theirselves, that they aren't working hard enough, because other people do it, so you must be able to too. I feel like this would be especially hard for law, which can get pretty competetive... I hope things turn out all right for your friend in the end.

 

It's alright to confess yourself .

This is not just about my friend, but about people being hard on themselves at all...

[MAKS 86]

You sir just opened a thread with a buttload of many, MANY different opinions which will eventually lead into an internet argument - they always do.

[Col.Random 3,683]

I'm here to post some extremely random gifs to prevent an argument from emerging:

 

Edited November 6, 2012 by Lt.Random

[deathrebirthsenshi 279]

I'm here to post some extremely random gifs to prevent an argument from emerging:

 

 

I feel better about life already lol.