Are you born gay or you become gay?

[Kello 310]

Example: You have twins. Other is gay but other isn't. If people born gay, then both of them would have to be gay. But other isn't gay.

So no, you don't "born gay". You become gay.

 

(I'm pansexual, but mostly all people I've fell in love were men. I mean men, not boys. Like 27-years old men... xDD)

[TheApprenticeofKingMickey 3,689]

  On 10/10/2012 at 5:57 AM, 'coolwings' said:

It can be either

 

  On 10/10/2012 at 6:08 AM, 'Sigrun' said:

A mixture of both but for some its one or the other due to life factors, Birth factors, Environmental factors, and the Persons Perception on everything.

 

  On 10/10/2012 at 6:14 AM, 'gamerazor247' said:

mixture, but in my opinon it's a choice..

 

  On 10/10/2012 at 6:24 AM, 'hatok' said:

Ultimately, it's your choice. You may have one inclination or another, but it will all come down to how you live you life.

A person can become straight or gay by creating a 'habit' of liking the sex they are not normally attracted to, for example.

It's ALL in the mind

 

  On 10/10/2012 at 7:00 AM, 'Nick' said:

Logically and technically if you think long and hard about it its a yes and no thing because guys are born straight and then females are born gay/lesbain (gay and lesbian mean samething) because of the whole boob sucking thing, and then actually becoming gay/lesbian or a transexual (i guess same thing) would all be up to you as you get older to see if your more interested in the same sex, opposing sex, or even both sex's so 4everbee it is a yes and no solution with multipull answers you just gotta think bout it

 

  On 10/10/2012 at 9:09 AM, 'fahaad bandar' said:

i think it is a choice

 

No. It doesn't work that way. It's not a conscientious choice. That's like saying I chose to have Asperger's Syndrome which I didn't. I didn't choose to be bisexual, I was born that way. I can always remember being attracted to girls since as far back as I can remember. It wasn't until I learnt from the media that liking the same sex was wrong. And I thought, "Why though? It feels so natural." I didn't think one day, "Hey, I like boobs and vagina." The conscientious choice I did make was acknowledging and accepting my bisexuality exists and it's not something I want or can ignore. If you're saying someone chose to be gay, think about this. Does one choose to have a mental disability? Does one choose to be heterosexual?

[HarLea Quinn 26,501]

Honestly I don't believe for one minute that it's a choice .Why would someone choose something that society unfairly judges them on so cruelly ? A choice that makes their life unfairly more difficult to the point we have many gay people especially teens committing suicide bc of it ....I think its something people just ARE..It's just in you just like other attributes a person has ..It's just who they are ..naturally...

Edited October 10, 2012 by Flaming Lea

[Snow 1,800]

I'm not too sure on it, but I think it can be either.

I would have to theorize that you become it. My uncle is gay, but I'm not sure whether he became it or was born it. He practiced kissing with his neighbor and whatnot at age 7. He has told me some other things that he'd rather I not share with the rest of the world, but it's some pretty dark stuff. Anyways, I'd have to agree with coolwings.

[TheApprenticeofKingMickey 3,689]

  On 10/10/2012 at 3:26 PM, 'Snow' said:

I'm not too sure on it, but I think it can be either.

I would have to theorize that you become it. My uncle is gay, but I'm not sure whether he became it or was born it. He practiced kissing with his neighbor and whatnot at age 7. He has told me some other things that he'd rather I not share with the rest of the world, but it's some pretty dark stuff. Anyways, I'd have to agree with coolwings.

 

  On 10/10/2012 at 2:59 PM, 'TheApprenticeofKingMickey' said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No. It doesn't work that way. It's not a conscientious choice. That's like saying I chose to have Asperger's Syndrome which I didn't. I didn't choose to be bisexual, I was born that way. I can always remember being attracted to girls since as far back as I can remember. It wasn't until I learnt from the media that liking the same sex was wrong. And I thought, "Why though? It feels so natural." I didn't think one day, "Hey, I like boobs and vagina." The conscientious choice I did make was acknowledging and accepting my bisexuality exists and it's not something I want or can ignore. If you're saying someone chose to be gay, think about this. Does one choose to have a mental disability? Does one choose to be heterosexual?

 

I bet fifty bucks you didn't choose to be straight, Snow.

[Snow 1,800]

  On 10/10/2012 at 3:42 PM, 'TheApprenticeofKingMickey' said:

I bet fifty bucks you didn't choose to be straight, Snow.

 

how did you know I'm straight Edited October 10, 2012 by Snow

[Col.Random 3,683]

  On 10/10/2012 at 2:59 PM, 'TheApprenticeofKingMickey' said:

No. It doesn't work that way. It's not a conscientious choice. That's like saying I chose to have Asperger's Syndrome which I didn't. I didn't choose to be bisexual, I was born that way. I can always remember being attracted to girls since as far back as I can remember. It wasn't until I learnt from the media that liking the same sex was wrong. And I thought, "Why though? It feels so natural." I didn't think one day, "Hey, I like boobs and vagina." The conscientious choice I did make was acknowledging and accepting my bisexuality exists and it's not something I want or can ignore. If you're saying someone chose to be gay, think about this. Does one choose to have a mental disability? Does one choose to be heterosexual?

 

How is homosexuality related to a mental disability exactly?

[Caity 3,946]

I prefer to think of it (I think it was a buddist belief but I can't really recall) that you're born bisexual, with no preference, and society shapes you and nudges you towards a certain way

I've met 2 girls (only 2 girls I ever fancied), and would call myself bi for that but I still prefer guys more so.

I don't really think it makes sense though to think of it like "either I grew gay or I was born gay"

Sexuality isn't like that, least to me. Some people were gay along and didn't admit it, some experiment and turn, and some are flat out homosexual right off the bat.

[Snow 1,800]

This enrages me. Genn, homosexuality is not anything like mental disability.

[HarLea Quinn 26,501]

  On 10/10/2012 at 4:03 PM, 'Snow' said:

This enrages me. Genn, homosexuality is not anything like mental disability.

 

She wasn't saying it was a mental disability. She was saying she was born with it like she was born with other attributes .Just like you were also born with whatever your eye and hair color are .

[TheApprenticeofKingMickey 3,689]

  On 10/10/2012 at 3:58 PM, 'Lt.Random' said:

How is homosexuality related to a mental disability exactly?

 

  On 10/10/2012 at 4:07 PM, 'Flaming Lea' said:

 

 

She wasn't saying it was a mental disability. She was saying she was born with it like she was born with other attributes .Just like you were also born with whatever your eye and hair color are .

 

[deathrebirthsenshi 279]

  On 10/10/2012 at 7:00 AM, 'Nick' said:

Logically and technically if you think long and hard about it its a yes and no thing because guys are born straight and then females are born gay/lesbain (gay and lesbian mean samething) because of the whole boob sucking thing, and then actually becoming gay/lesbian or a transexual (i guess same thing) would all be up to you as you get older to see if your more interested in the same sex, opposing sex, or even both sex's so 4everbee it is a yes and no solution with multipull answers you just gotta think bout it

 

...

But I wasn't breastfed because my mother said and I quote: "You wouldn't take the boob!"

So apparently, by your logic, I was gay and hated boobs from birth...

 

You're born this way. Like Lady Gaga said. You don't choose to be gay. That's silly. There could be other factors that come in to play that may cause different sexual attraction I suppose...but I feel like its more that you're born that way. I feel like its nature's response to overpopulation lol.

 

You also have to consider I guess that you don't feel sexual attraction until puberty, so I could see how the argument that you become gay could be made...but that's not really how it works. And we could get into a thing about sexual attraction vs. emotions (ie I'm definately gay but I've had crushes on girls), and that there are different levels of attraction and that really, its not just polar "gay-straight" but a spectrum and...well, I don't know much about how that applies to choice vs. born that way

Edited October 10, 2012 by deathrebirthsenshi

[dusk 910]

I'm pretty sure that it is something you are born with.

But, it's very possible that you aren't even aware of your gayness and some events may trigger you to slowly realize that you are gay.

I think that "choosing" is wrong word. It's more like just starting to realize one being gay.

[Isamu Kuno 2,512]

It' a very grey area. When I was 13 I realized I was gay when, no mater how hard I tried, I could not get turned on by the female body or anything concerning it. I think that the whole "being gay is a choice thing" comes from when a person who has been straight all their life who has never had homosexual inclinations before, later in life like 40's 50's or later decides, for one reason or another (for example a man who has a very long streak of bad romances with women) that a sexual relationship with someone of the same sex would be easier. However even if they try it and enjoy it, this does not make them truly gay only bisexual as the are sill capable of being attracted to the opposite sex.. I think being "gay" refers not necessarily to sexual attraction to the same sex but rather the lack of sexual attraction to the opposite sex.

 

I hope this makes sense.

[alfie03rocks 7]

I think it's a mix of both. I know many gays that have always known they were gay when they were kids and has always been attracted to that gender. But, I also know some that have been attracted to the other gender but eventually come out and say that they like the same gender.

Sorry if this sounds confusing in any way.

[Loki 1,184]

My opinion: I dont give a firetruck. I dont care if my bisexuality started at the moment I was conceived or the first time I thought boys and girls were equally attractive. It shouldnt matter to people the origin of how we came to our sexuality. Knowing where it began wont change anything in the end. In the end, we are GLBT, and it shouldnt affect your opinion of us whether you believe it was a choice or not. This is who we are and thats just how it is.

[TheApprenticeofKingMickey 3,689]

  On 10/10/2012 at 4:19 PM, 'deathrebirthsenshi' said:

... But I wasn't breastfed because my mother said and I quote: "You wouldn't take the boob!" So apparently, by your logic, I was gay and hated boobs from birth... You're born this way. Like Lady Gaga said. You don't choose to be gay. That's silly. There could be other factors that come in to play that may cause different sexual attraction I suppose...but I feel like its more that you're born that way. I feel like its nature's response to overpopulation lol. You also have to consider I guess that you don't feel sexual attraction until puberty, so I could see how the argument that you become gay could be made...but that's not really how it works. And we could get into a thing about sexual attraction vs. emotions (ie I'm definately gay but I've had crushes on girls), and that there are different levels of attraction and that really, its not just polar "gay-straight" but a spectrum and...well, I don't know much about how that applies to choice vs. born that way

You're referring to what is called romanticism. One can be asexual and biromantic at the same time. Meaning, they feel sexually attracted to no one but can feel romantically and emotionally inclined towards males and females. Like me, when I first came out about my bisexuality, I thought I was only heteroromantic. Turns out, I had a crush on a girl so I'm both biromantic and bisexual. One of my best friends is a lesbian but she's panromantic so she could fall in love with anyone because of their personality regardless of gender while still being sexually attracted to the same sex.

 

  On 10/10/2012 at 5:27 PM, 'alfie03rocks' said:

I think it's a mix of both. I know many gays that have always known they were gay when they were kids and has always been attracted to that gender. But, I also know some that have been attracted to the other gender but eventually come out and say that they like the same gender. Sorry if this sounds confusing in any way.

Unless you yourself have had a personal, mental and/or sexual experience with different sexualities or romanticism other than heterosexuality and heteroromanticism, I don't see how you can make a judgement like that.

[alfie03rocks 7]

  On 10/10/2012 at 5:51 PM, 'TheApprenticeofKingMickey' said:

You're referring to what is called romanticism. One can be asexual and biromantic at the same time. Meaning, they feel sexually attracted to no one but can feel romantically and emotionally inclined towards males and females. Like me, when I first came out about my bisexuality, I thought I was only heteroromantic. Turns out, I had a crush on a girl so I'm both biromantic and bisexual. One of my best friends is a lesbian but she's panromantic so she could fall in love with anyone because of their personality regardless of gender while still being sexually attracted to the same sex.

 

 

 

Unless you yourself have had a personal, mental and/or sexual experience with different sexualities or romanticism other than heterosexuality and heteroromanticism, I don't see how you can make a judgement like that.

 

i dont understand how they did either...i just go by what they told me.

[TheApprenticeofKingMickey 3,689]

  On 10/10/2012 at 6:04 PM, 'alfie03rocks' said:

i dont understand how they did either...i just go by what they told me.

 

That's understandable. uwu

[Wolfgang 735]

I dont think it matters

just matters if your happy

[deathrebirthsenshi 279]

*insert argument about heteronormatism in media making us think we're straight as children then puberty comes along and well hello different story*

[Shana09 5,769]

Of course you become gay, how are you born happy?/cornyjoke

 

 

kk to be serious:

 

You can be born gay, many people who say they've "become" gay is saying that they basically found out what their sexual orientation is.

 

People can't choose to be gay.

[Queen Tery 4,591]

  On 10/10/2012 at 3:15 PM, 'Flaming Lea' said:

Why would someone choose something that society unfairly judges them on so cruelly ?

 

One of my best friends is homosexual and this argument reminds me of him. lol He's already told me that he honestly believes that 95% of the gay community would choose to be straight, if they actually had the choice. He doesn't like the way people look at him or treat him for something that he can't help. He despises himself for it and that's part of the reason I feel the way I do about homosexuality.

Edited October 10, 2012 by Ertyx

[baylaust 2,531]

I'm honestly not a big enough expert on the subject to make a claim, but I don't think it matters in the end. In the end, gay, straight, whatever, you are who you are, and you should be what makes you happy. That's what's important.

[Amon 4,279]

I'm pretty sure it's both. Some people always felt that way towards the same gender and others found that they started to have gay feelings later on in life. I'm pretty sure though that nobody makes a conscience decision to be gay. In other words they don't wake up one morning and say "You know what? I'm going to be gay now." Our society is still fairly intolerant of homosexuals despite increasing tolerance. Why someone would put themselves through the trouble is beyond me, probably just for attention.

 

Sexual orientation really shouldn't be as big of a deal as it is. In the end, all it really comes down to is whether you like poles or holes.

Edited October 10, 2012 by Amon