_EPISODE 1_

 

Setting: A huge Kingdom Hearts logo with a keyblade spinning around in the middle. An intro with the title shows up on the screen...transitioning to a backdrop of the same logo, with Sora, standing in place.

 

Sora: Holy smokes, baloney, fudge and mustard, stop the presses and stop the internet!! If you are a member of KH13, and are loading this up your internet machine....you're here. Now, stand, the F**K UP!!

 

(No one stands up. Not even the cast members off screen watching)

 

Sora: -__-....Well, anyways....welcome to 5 Questions With The Kingdom Hearts Cast....where the most important questions on the face of this planet are answered....these, my friends (holds up paper) are the questions. And we (spreads arms out) We...have the answers....the answers to existance! (raises fist)

 

Riku: (Off-stage): By God, you're a ham.

 

Sora: (looks to Riku): By God, you're a homo.

 

(off-screen cast "OOOOHHHH"s in unison.)

 

Riku: -__-....just start the f*king show.

 

Sora: Alrighty then! First question....

 

(record skip, pause)

 

Hi, Firaga96. You know, I was going to make up stuff at this point, but then i thought, "Hey, why not get some actual questions going?"

 

So, KH13.com, I'm leaving the rest to you. Post some questions, being about anything you want to ask Sora, and once I get five, I'll continue the story from there. If you didn't get your question in, you can always ask another one for another character.

Edited October 14, 201213 yr by Firaga96

Even! Question:have you found the exact scientific protocol for giving someone the cold shoulder?

So, have you already taken all the questions you need for Larxene? Or can i add one?

 

A little late to the party, but no sweat. You add one for another character (preferably Even) if you want.

Edited April 26, 201312 yr by Firaga96

That really was the best one yet.  I was cracking up so much.

 

To Even:  Do you have a bone to pick with Lea after the whole "incident" in Castle Oblivion?  You know, where you got burnt alive.

Hey, Even, go reprogram Xion and Roxas, and make them completely loyal to you, I can see them trying to get away from you..

Hey, Even, go reprogram Xion and Roxas, and make them completely loyal to you, I can see them trying to get away from you..

Shuuush! None of that!

*Continues to reprogram Xion to do nothing but spit out Dem Dem quotes*

Shuuush! None of that!

*Continues to reprogram Xion to do nothing but spit out Dem Dem quotes*

 

Xion: Like hell you will!

 

Demyx: But I think--

 

Xion: No.

 

Demyx: But maybe--

 

Xion: NO.

 

Demyx:

Even: Why is your voice so jacked up? I mean seriously, you sound so silly and stupid, your voice is even worse than Goofy, and he's a Talking Dog!!!! I was so glad to kick your sorry ass in Re:Com, that its not even funny.

Edited April 1, 201312 yr by spiderfreak1011

Even, what have you been experimenting on recently?

To Even: Why were you so afraid of Zexion or any other "lower" member if you were a senior member in the Organization?

Edited April 5, 201312 yr by xoblivionx13

Even: Good tidings, KH13. I, the genius known as Even, am very excited to be picked as the next host of 5 Questions With The Kingdom Hearts Cast. I know that many of my fellow cast members are excited as well. Isn't that right, Number 9?

 

Demyx: You said I'd get a hoagie if I did this. Where's my hoagie?

 

Even: (whispers) Stick to the plan. :angry:

 

Demyx:  

 

Even: Anyways (chuckles), It also gives me great pleasure to inform you that I have also been granted the ownership of the entire show.

 

Demyx: Wait, what?

 

Even: Yes, I know it sounds sudden, but I assure you that it is for the better. Our former Superior has placed me in charge of the creative focus of the show, as he recognizes my intellect to such a great extent that he sees no other qualm but to leave 5 Questions under my jurisdiction. Isn't that fun?  ^_^ 5 Questions will be much more entertaining, as well as more educational, as I plan to take the audience on a fantastic journey in the world of science. Oh sure, we'll still answer questions, but let me say that those will be more intelligent as well. I'm sure the fanbase is more than happy to want to explore the minds of--

 

(door is kicked open)

 

HEY! WHAT'S UP GUYS??!!  :x 

 

Even: (gulps)

 

Demyx: I'm never gonna get my hoagie. (runs away)

 

SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

 

Even: What am I doing?

 

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

 

Even: Nothing much.

 

STEALING MY SHOW??!!

 

Even: Stealing your show?

 

ARE YOU??!!

 

Even: Y-yes.

 

.... I'M GONNA F**KING KILL YOU!!!

 

(fades to black)

Lol, poor Even, lol not!!

Even: Good tidings, KH13. I, the genius known as Even, am very excited to be picked as the next host of 5 Questions With The Kingdom Hearts Cast. I know that many of my fellow cast members are excited as well. Isn't that right, Number 9?

 

Demyx: You said I'd get a hoagie if I did this. Where's my hoagie?

 

Even: (whispers) Stick to the plan. :angry:

 

Demyx:

 

Even: Anyways (chuckles), It also gives me great pleasure to inform you that I have also been granted the ownership of the entire show.

 

Demyx: Wait, what?

 

Even: Yes, I know it sounds sudden, but I assure you that it is for the better. Our former Superior has placed me in charge of the creative focus of the show, as he recognizes my intellect to such a great extent that he sees no other qualm but to leave 5 Questions under my jurisdiction. Isn't that fun?  ^_^ 5 Questions will be much more entertaining, as well as more educational, as I plan to take the audience on a fantastic journey in the world of science. Oh sure, we'll still answer questions, but let me say that those will be more intelligent as well. I'm sure the fanbase is more than happy to want to explore the minds of--

 

(door is kicked open)

 

HEY! WHAT'S UP GUYS??!!  :x 

 

Even: (gulps)

 

Demyx: I'm never gonna get my hoagie. (runs away)

 

SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

 

Even: What am I doing?

 

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

 

Even: Nothing much.

 

STEALING MY SHOW??!!

 

Even: Stealing your show?

 

ARE YOU??!!

 

Even: Y-yes.

 

.... I'M GONNA F**KING KILL YOU!!!

 

(fades to black)

Lol Team Four Star reference.

 

"I'm never gonna get my question answered."

The nerve of some characters. <_<

Edited April 5, 201312 yr by Ultimus Grid

_EPISODE 15_

 

Even: Hello, once again, my glorious fans all across the world.

 

(crickets)

 

Even: ... (clears throat)... Welcome to the newest episode of 5 Questions With The Kingdom Hearts Cast. Now, just so you know, for anyone who dabbles in the gossip that runs around this place, our Boss has forgiven me for my rather, (clears throat again), obscene notion this past day. Isn't that right, Boss?

 

Ain't nobody got time for that.

 

(Cast dies of laughter)

 

Even: ... Ah. I see.... well, then...

 

Look, just do your job, man, and I'll get over it.

 

Even: Really?! Is that so?!

 

*sigh* Yeah, yeah, just... just answer the questions. Oi, I need a massage. (snaps fingers) Demyx!

 

Demyx: Yep!

 

Shoulders.

 

Demyx: Okay! (starts rubbing both of my shoulders)

 

Dilan: Dude, don't you have any dignity?

Demyx: What? He gave me a hoagie.

 

Plus, I'm his boss, and what I say goes. By the by, Dilan, you're gonna be Even's "partner" for today.

 

Dilan: Huh? Why me?!

 

You've been griping about how you haven't been given any screen time lately, so we're taking care of the situation.

 

Dilan: But why Even?! Aint nobody got--

 

I already did that reference.

 

Dilan: Oh. Well, uh, still, it's Even. Why not have somebody like Aeleus do it.

He's in a meeting with Android 16 from DragonBall and Jugo from Naruto.

 

Dilan: ... I think I see what you did there, but what about someone like Ienzo?!

 

*points finger to Ienzo hiding in the corner* He's having issues right now. You're not. *snaps fingers* Hop to it. Oh... yeah, right on the blades, Demmy...

 

Dilan: (sighs, drags feet onto stage with Even)

 

Even: Ah, it sees I'm being joined by Dilan: How are you doing today, Dilan?

 

Dilan: (dryly) Myah...

 

Even: I see. Well, then let's start the show. Our fist question comes from ItNeverGetsBetterThanThis, who asks, "Have you found the exact scientific protocol for giving someone the cold shoulder?" Well, yes exactly. In fact, I'm willing to go on a limb and say it is my most perfect experiment now. I've used it so many times in the past without a single flaw, and its had so many successes.

 

(Cast members roll their eyes)

Even: Of course, I would never give my own children the cold shoulder. Isn't that right, my lovely Xion and robust Repliku? Daddy loves you.

 

Xion: (gags)

 

Repliku: o.0

 

Even: Oh look at them, they're so touched by my love, they're making cute faces.

 

Dilan: I don't think that's it, Even.  :mellow:

 

Even: Anyways, let's continue. The second question comes from Ultimus Grid, who asks, "Do you have a bone to pick with Lea after the whole "incident" in Castle Oblivion?  You know, where you got burnt alive."

 

Lea: Well? Do you? Huh? Huh?

Even: I might... just a tad...

 

Dilan: Oh what, though? You just gonna sit here and take it? Come on!

Lea: Yeah, come on, Even, let's go a second round, huh, huh? (bounces like Ali)

 

Even: I don't quite see the reason to be so hostile, I mean, I really don't have that much animosity towards (suddenly flares up and points finger) YOU DAMNED PIECE OF S**T!

 

Lea: (stops bouncing) ... Oh.  :mellow:

 

Dilan: "Oh" is right.  :mellow:

 

Even: HOW DARE YOU MAKE A MOCKERY OF ME?! ME!! THE GREATEST MIND OF ALL Kingdom Hearts?! I OUGHT TO HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! (takes breathes)

 

Lea: ... D-... damn.

 

Dilan: A-all... alright...

 

Even: I... (breathes) apologize. I've had that built up inside me for a while now. Once again, I apologize.

 

Lea: Nah, nah, it's cool... (under breath) we all know I can beat your ass anyway.

 

Even: What was that?

 

Lea: Nothing! (dashes away)

Dilan: (chuckles)

 

Even: What are you laughing at?

Dilan: (stops, whistles nonchalantly)

 

Even: I must say, there is a lot of strange activity going around here. (darts eyes to the sides) It's almost like there's some sort of conspiracy going on against me..

 

Repliku: You still recovered from the rage, Xion?

 

Xion: Not really, why?

 

Repliku: Well, I have a strange feeling that Dad's gonna make us facepalm again.

 

Xion: What makes you say that?

Even: I know! I must be the work of... (contorts in weird ways) FAIRY GOD PARENTS!!!

 

X&R: (facepalm)

 

Xion: You were right!

Repliku: I know. 

 

Even: (dusts cloak off) Of course, that is just a hunch, still.

 

Dilan: A hunch? But you said that--

Even: I know what I said. However, a scientist's mind can change in various directions at any given time.

 

Dilan: Like Riku's taste in women.

 

Even: Precisely!

 

Riku: Hey, that aint right?!

Even: So "aint" your obsession with your own fangirls, young Riku.

 

Repliku: He's got a point, Me.

 

Riku: Shut up, Me! I don't have time for this. Fangirls, grab my body!

 

(several fangirls cling to Riku)

 

Riku: (shoots off into the sky with a rainbow pathing his way) SEXYNESS!!!!

Somebody smack that boy when he comes back.

 

Sora and Kairi: I will. (both look at each other and blush)

 

See, that type of ship moment is appropriate... Roxas and Namine...

 

Roxas: Yeah, again... you write this. We don't.

 

Namine: Yeah, I don't get why you keep blaming us for your own biz.

 

You want Roxas to spend another time in the Box?

Roxas:  !

 

Namine: (gasp) Nuuuuu! Not the Box, anything but the Box, my Roxie can't take it! (hugs Roxas tight)

 

Roxas: (wheezes) I think this is worse, actually.

 

Either way, you two better know your roles and shut your mouth. Ya dig that?

R&N: We dig that.

 

Good. Now carry on, Even.

 

Even: I didn't even know we stopped.

 

Yeah, well, uh... myah.

 

Even: Why does everyone keep doing that?

Because it's fun. MYAH!

 

Dilan: No doubt. MYAH!!!

 

Even: Okay, I don't see--

 

Dilan: MYAH!!!

 

Even: That's not really convincing me--

 

MYAH!!!

 

Even: ... I--

 

Myah.

 

Even: ... I-

 

Dilan: Myah.

 

Even: (whispers) I--

 

(whispers) Myah...

 

Dilan: (whispers) Myah...

 

Even: -__- ... Are you finished?

Dilan: I will be, hold on (digs for something on ground)

Even: (eyes stay on camera) Okay, I really don't see why this should continue on for much lon--

 

Dilan: (pulls out megaphone and sticks it on Even's ear) MYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

 

Even: 0.o ... (picks ear) ... My word...

 

(Cast dies of laughter again)

 

Even: Can we please continue?

Yeah, yeah, don't get your panties in a bunch.

 

Even: (ignores panty comment) Anyways, let's go to our third question...

 

(pause)

X*X*X*X*X

Whoops. Gotta cut the episode short. Sorry, but other things beckon my call. I promise I'll have these finished in the coming days. Cross my heart and hope that it gets taken by Heartless... that-that is the expression, right? Right? Seems like it.

Edited April 10, 201312 yr by Firaga96

_EPISODE 15_

 

Even: Hello, once again, my glorious fans all across the world.

 

(crickets)

 

Even: ... (clears throat)... Welcome to the newest episode of 5 Questions With The Kingdom Hearts Cast. Now, just so you know, for anyone who dabbles in the gossip that runs around this place, our Boss has forgiven me for my rather, (clears throat again), obscene notion this past day. Isn't that right, Boss?

 

Ain't nobody got time for that.

 

(Cast dies of laughter)

 

Even: ... Ah. I see.... well, then...

 

Look, just do your job, man, and I'll get over it.

 

Even: Really?! Is that so?!

 

*sigh* Yeah, yeah, just... just answer the questions. Oi, I need a massage. (snaps fingers) Demyx!

 

Demyx: Yep!

 

Shoulders.

 

Demyx: Okay! (starts rubbing both of my shoulders)

 

Dilan: Dude, don't you have any dignity?

 

Demyx: What? He gave me a hoagie.

 

Plus, I'm his boss, and what I say goes. By the by, Dilan, you're gonna be Even's "partner" for today.

 

Dilan: Huh? Why me?!

 

You've been griping about how you haven't been given any screen time lately, so we're taking care of the situation.

 

Dilan: But why Even?! Aint nobody got--

 

I already did that reference.

 

Dilan: Oh. Well, uh, still, it's Even. Why not have somebody like Aeleus do it.

 

He's in a meeting with Android 16 from DragonBall and Jugo from Naruto.

 

Dilan: ... I think I see what you did there, but what about someone like Ienzo?!

 

*points finger to Ienzo hiding in the corner* He's having issues right now. You're not. *snaps fingers* Hop to it. Oh... yeah, right on the blades, Demmy...

 

Dilan: (sighs, drags feet onto stage with Even)

 

Even: Ah, it sees I'm being joined by Dilan: How are you doing today, Dilan?

 

Dilan: (dryly) Myah...

 

Even: I see. Well, then let's start the show. Our fist question comes from ItNeverGetsBetterThanThis, who asks, "Have you found the exact scientific protocol for giving someone the cold shoulder?" Well, yes exactly. In fact, I'm willing to go on a limb and say it is my most perfect experiment now. I've used it so many times in the past without a single flaw, and its had so many successes.

 

(Cast members roll their eyes)

 

Even: Of course, I would never give my own children the cold shoulder. Isn't that right, my lovely Xion and robust Repliku? Daddy loves you.

 

Xion: (gags)

 

Repliku: o.0

 

Even: Oh look at them, they're so touched by my love, they're making cute faces.

 

Dilan: I don't think that's it, Even.  :mellow:

 

Even: Anyways, let's continue. The second question comes from Ultimus Grid, who asks, "Do you have a bone to pick with Lea after the whole "incident" in Castle Oblivion?  You know, where you got burnt alive."

 

Lea: Well? Do you? Huh? Huh?

 

Even: I might... just a tad...

 

Dilan: Oh what, though? You just gonna sit here and take it? Come on!

 

Lea: Yeah, come on, Even, let's go a second round, huh, huh? (bounces like Ali)

 

Even: I don't quite see the reason to be so hostile, I mean, I really don't have that much animosity towards (suddenly flares up and points finger) YOU DAMNED PIECE OF S**T!

 

Lea: (stops bouncing) ... Oh.  :mellow:

 

Dilan: "Oh" is right.  :mellow:

 

Even: HOW DARE YOU MAKE A MOCKERY OF ME?! ME!! THE GREATEST MIND OF ALL Kingdom Hearts?! I OUGHT TO HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! (takes breathes)

 

Lea: ... D-... damn.

 

Dilan: A-all... alright...

 

Even: I... (breathes) apologize. I've had that built up inside me for a while now. Once again, I apologize.

 

Lea: Nah, nah, it's cool... (under breath) we all know I can beat your ass anyway.

 

Even: What was that?

 

Lea: Nothing! (dashes away)

 

Dilan: (chuckles)

 

Even: What are you laughing at?

 

Dilan: (stops, whistles nonchalantly)

 

Even: I must say, there is a lot of strange activity going around here. (darts eyes to the sides) It's almost like there's some sort of conspiracy going on against me..

 

Repliku: You still recovered from the rage, Xion?

 

Xion: Not really, why?

 

Repliku: Well, I have a strange feeling that Dad's gonna make us facepalm again.

 

Xion: What makes you say that?

 

Even: I know! I must be the work of... (contorts in weird ways) FAIRY GOD PARENTS!!!

 

X&R: (facepalm)

 

Xion: You were right!

 

Repliku: I know. 

 

Even: (dusts cloak off) Of course, that is just a hunch, still.

 

Dilan: A hunch? But you said that--

 

Even: I know what I said. However, a scientist's mind can change in various directions at any given time.

 

Dilan: Like Riku's taste in women.

 

Even: Precisely!

 

Riku: Hey, that aint right?!

 

Even: So "aint" your obsession with your own fangirls, young Riku.

 

Repliku: He's got a point, Me.

 

Riku: Shut up, Me! I don't have time for this. Fangirls, grab my body!

 

(several fangirls cling to Riku)

 

Riku: (shoots off into the sky with a rainbow pathing his way) SEXYNESS!!!!

 

Somebody smack that boy when he comes back.

 

Sora and Kairi: I will. (both look at each other and blush)

 

See, that type of ship moment is appropriate... Roxas and Namine...

 

Roxas: Yeah, again... you write this. We don't.

 

Namine: Yeah, I don't get why you keep blaming us for your own biz.

 

You want Roxas to spend another time in the Box?

 

Roxas:  !

 

Namine: (gasp) Nuuuuu! Not the Box, anything but the Box, my Roxie can't take it! (hugs Roxas tight)

 

Roxas: (wheezes) I think this is worse, actually.

 

Either way, you two better know your roles and shut your mouth. Ya dig that?

 

R&N: We dig that.

 

Good. Now carry on, Even.

 

Even: I didn't even know we stopped.

 

Yeah, well, uh... myah.

 

Even: Why does everyone keep doing that?

 

Because it's fun. MYAH!

 

Dilan: No doubt. MYAH!!!

 

Even: Okay, I don't see--

 

Dilan: MYAH!!!

 

Even: That's not really convincing me--

 

MYAH!!!

 

Even: ... I--

 

Myah.

 

Even: ... I-

 

Dilan: Myah.

 

Even: (whispers) I--

 

(whispers) Myah...

 

Dilan: (whispers) Myah...

 

Even: -__- ... Are you finished?

 

Dilan: I will be, hold on (digs for something on ground)

 

Even: (eyes stay on camera) Okay, I really don't see why this should continue on for much lon--

 

Dilan: (pulls out megaphone and sticks it on Even's ear) MYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

 

Even: 0.o ... (picks ear) ... My word...

 

(Cast dies of laughter again)

 

Even: Can we please continue?

 

Yeah, yeah, don't get your panties in a bunch.

 

Even: (ignores panty comment) Anyways, let's go to our third question...

 

(pause)

 

X*X*X*X*X

 

Whoops. Gotta cut the episode short. Sorry, but other things beckon my call. I promise I'll have these finished in the coming days. Cross my heart and hope that it gets taken by Heartless... that-that is the expression, right? Right? Seems like it.

I hope you don't forget my question!

I hope you don't forget my question!

 

I wooooon't.

Huh.  That bit with Riku was .... different.  :mellow:

To Even: Get Xion to attack Roxas or Axel under mind control to get revenge on the one who killed your Nobody, or use Xion to kill Roxas for no reason, whatsoever.

Huh.  That bit with Riku was .... different.  :mellow:

 

Memes: easy comedy.

To Even: Get Xion to attack Roxas or Axel under mind control to get revenge on the one who killed your Nobody, or use Xion to kill Roxas for no reason, whatsoever.

 

Ooh... bad timing. I already have enough questions for Even... BUT, do not fret. I'm sure he'll be obliged to answer it on another episode.

 

Even: No, I won't.  <_<

 

Shut your TRAP! (holds golden sword to neck)

 

Even: ... I wet myself.

 

Neat.

Memes: easy comedy.

Right.

Ooh... bad timing. I already have enough questions for Even... BUT, do not fret. I'm sure he'll be obliged to answer it on another episode.

 

Even: No, I won't.  <_<

 

Shut your TRAP! (holds golden sword to neck)

 

Even: ... I wet myself.

 

Neat.

hey, I posted a question for Even few posts ago. Hope you use it.

hey, I posted a question for Even few posts ago. Hope you use it.

 

Si.

I like the last half episode. NOW RAIN DOWN THE MEME'S LIKE CAKE S LIED ABOUT ON THE INTERNET!

Xemnas

 

Been done before. Along with the rest of the Norts.