My Father

[Pyrrha Nikos 1,162]

All of your words have touched me. There maybe no way to convince my dad to stop mocking me for all the things I like, but I guess I shouldn't give a shit what he says to me and continue with watching all the cartoons I like! If he yells at me I should be brave and stand up against him! Im done with all the bullshit he's saying to me and just straight out tell him "this is me, this is what I like and there's nothing you can do to stop me enjoying what I like to do!!". I now know Im a strong girl and I shouldn't let his words bring me down again!

 

Thanks to all of who replied.

[VanitasisKirby 1,227]

All of your words have touched me. There maybe no way to convince my dad to stop mocking me for all the things I like, but I guess I shouldn't give a shit what he says to me and continue with watching all the cartoons I like! If he yells at me I should be brave and stand up against him! Im done with all the bullshit he's saying to me and just straight out tell him "this is me, this is what I like and there's nothing you can do to stop me enjoying what I like to do!!". I now know Im a strong girl and I shouldn't let his words bring me down again!

 

Thanks to all of who replied.

 

That's the spirit!!

[Demyx. 10,064]

All of your words have touched me. There maybe no way to convince my dad to stop mocking me for all the things I like, but I guess I shouldn't give a shit what he says to me and continue with watching all the cartoons I like! If he yells at me I should be brave and stand up against him! Im done with all the bullshit he's saying to me and just straight out tell him "this is me, this is what I like and there's nothing you can do to stop me enjoying what I like to do!!". I now know Im a strong girl and I shouldn't let his words bring me down again!

 

Thanks to all of who replied.

 

Good. Just always be yourself.

[Queen Tery 4,591]

All of your words have touched me. There maybe no way to convince my dad to stop mocking me for all the things I like, but I guess I shouldn't give a shit what he says to me and continue with watching all the cartoons I like! If he yells at me I should be brave and stand up against him! Im done with all the bullshit he's saying to me and just straight out tell him "this is me, this is what I like and there's nothing you can do to stop me enjoying what I like to do!!". I now know Im a strong girl and I shouldn't let his words bring me down again!

 

Thanks to all of who replied.

 

I'm glad we could help. Let me just warn you to be wary of "attacking" him during a possible future argument. Be firm, but calm.

[Pyrrha Nikos 1,162]

I'm glad we could help. Let me just warn you to be wary of "attacking" him during a possible future argument. Be firm, but calm.

 

Got it! Thanks!

 

P.S. FUUUUUUUU Quota!

Edited September 3, 2012 by Silent Maiden

[KeyOfVentus 90]

i'm fully aware, thanks. this isn't verbal abuse.

 

Apparently you're not because this is text book verbal abuse. Don't try to bull shit a bull shitter, I've gone through verbal abuse, this is verbal abuse.

[Godot 513]

Apparently you're not because this is text book verbal abuse. Don't try to bull shit a bull shitter, I've gone through verbal abuse, this is verbal abuse.

 

yeah. i have too. please don't pull that crap on me.

 

this is bad parenting, and her dad is definitely being a douchecanoe, but this isn't anywhere close to full on verbal abuse.

 

All of your words have touched me. There maybe no way to convince my dad to stop mocking me for all the things I like, but I guess I shouldn't give a shit what he says to me and continue with watching all the cartoons I like! If he yells at me I should be brave and stand up against him! Im done with all the bullshit he's saying to me and just straight out tell him "this is me, this is what I like and there's nothing you can do to stop me enjoying what I like to do!!". I now know Im a strong girl and I shouldn't let his words bring me down again!

 

Thanks to all of who replied.

 

good!! you shouldn't let him get you down. (:

Edited September 3, 2012 by Madotsuki

[TheApprenticeofKingMickey 3,689]

Tell him this "Don't you have anything better to do? FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO LUMP ALL OF YOUR STUPID CRAP ON! IM YOUR OWN DAUGHTER FOR PETE'S SAKE!! NOT SOME STRANGER WHO, OUT OF ALL PEOPLE, MY OWN FATHER, IS TREATING ME LIKE!!! im allowed to have hobbies dad, geez.".

 

That would have the opposite effect and it wouldn't get through to her dad at all.

 

Apparently you're not because this is text book verbal abuse. Don't try to bull shit a bull shitter, I've gone through verbal abuse, this is verbal abuse.

 

You talk about verbal abuse? I know what verbal abuse is too and that's not it. Her dad isn't being purposely malevolent towards Silent Maiden and I bet if someone asked him, the last thing he'd want to do is hurt her or make his daughter unhappy. But you're the one being extremely rude towards Madotsuki right now and she doesn't deserve the rudeness you're directing towards her. It's not acceptable and you need to think before you post before you go mouthing off at people.

[KeyOfVentus 90]

You talk about verbal abuse? I know what verbal abuse is too and that's not it. Her dad isn't being purposely malevolent towards Silent Maiden and I bet if someone asked him, the last thing he'd want to do is hurt her or make his daughter unhappy. But you're the one being extremely rude towards Madotsuki right now and she doesn't deserve the rudeness you're directing towards her. It's not acceptable and you need to think before you post before you go mouthing off at people.

 

I think you're thinking of the kind of "worst-case-scenario" verbal abuse that you hear about on criminal shows. Under the law, from what I've read, this would be considered verbal abuse. Also, screw it, I"m not starting a fight on this forum.

[Queen Tery 4,591]

Apparently you're not because this is text book verbal abuse. Don't try to bull shit a bull shitter, I've gone through verbal abuse, this is verbal abuse.

 

From what she's said about her dad, he has not verbally abused her. He is having problems understanding his daughter's interests and point of views. Should he try to be more understanding? Yes. Is he abusing her? No. He cares about her, just like my parents do. But they have their own way of showing it.

[TheApprenticeofKingMickey 3,689]

I think you're thinking of the kind of "worst-case-scenario" verbal abuse that you hear about on criminal shows. Under the law, from what I've read, this would be considered verbal abuse. Also, screw it, I"m not starting a fight on this forum.

 

You talk about verbal abuse? I know what verbal abuse is too and that's not it. Her dad isn't being purposely malevolent towards Silent Maiden and I bet if someone asked him, the last thing he'd want to do is hurt her or make his daughter unhappy. But you're the one being extremely rude towards Madotsuki right now and she doesn't deserve the rudeness you're directing towards her. It's not acceptable and you need to think before you post before you go mouthing off at people.

 

If that doesn't make it obvious enough, I have been verbally abused myself. And if you don't want to start a fight on this forum, don't make rude posts that will cause people to become defensive and respond to them. Plain and simple.

[Pyrrha Nikos 1,162]

From what she's said about her dad, he has not verbally abused her. He is having problems understanding his daughter's interests and point of views. Should he try to be more understanding? Yes. Is he abusing her? No. He cares about her, just like my parents do. But they have their own way of showing it.

 

Exactly! My dad can be a bit of a douche at times, but he loves me enough to never hurt me with his words in any way.

Edited September 3, 2012 by Silent Maiden

[Queen Tery 4,591]

Exactly! My dad can be a bit of a douche at times, but he loves me enough to never hurt me in any physical way.

 

Well I figured that. But this guy's talking about abusing you verbally, not physically. Which it sounds like he can be a bit pushy with his words. But he's not abusing you. I can tell he cares.

[Pyrrha Nikos 1,162]

Well I figured that. But this guy's talking about abusing you verbally, not physically. Which it sounds like he can be a bit pushy with his words. But he's not abusing you. I can tell he cares.

 

Well yeah he does care for me and my future and to let everyone know clearly that my dad is not verbally abusing me.

[SolarFlare12 226]

My parents don't think of my feelings that's why they don't know I'm depressed

[Xalaru 445]

@Xalaru He just wants me to be friends with actual people since he knows Im a little anti social and my social skills are pretty weak. I even told him about the friends Im making here and he laughs at me and says thats stupid. Im just like "what?!"

 

I'm very anti-social and I have 0 social skills. I can barely even buy something in a store without thinking the employee is judging me and the getting paranoid over it. Being friends with those online is actually healthier for your esteem and such because, for the most part, they're friends with you for who you are and you can open up to them more. You won't feel judged and you'll feel more confident around them if you ever happened to meet them irl, which in turn could make you more social.

It's up to you who your friends are, not your Dad. To be honest I don't see why you care so much for his opinion on that. I mean, sure, he's your Dad. But his opinions don't dictate how you should live and who your friends are. Talk to him about it, or let him be. Unless he's physically trying to stop you watching cartoons, having friends online and going on the computer, just let him get over it until he accepts it.

[SolarFlare12 226]

I'm also anti-social I luckily have few close friends, people even think I'm emo but they just add more ideas for me....

[Oniaku 280]

Here's what I did with my mom, she had the same problem.

 

Okay Mom, let me ask you a question: Do you want me to act like all those other F****** kids out there. Getting drunk and partying all night. Having sex all the F****** time. Impregnating random W*****, and such? Because I can be the total Jacka** you seem to want. In fact, let's try a mild form of it for a week. You'll see which you prefer.

 

After a week of me acting like other kids, my Mom stopped talking about it.

[Shana09 5,769]

Apparently you're not because this is text book verbal abuse. Don't try to bull shit a bull shitter, I've gone through verbal abuse, this is verbal abuse.

 

 

Verbal abuse (also known as reviling) is best described as a negative defining statement told to the person or about the person; or by withholding any response thus defining the target as non-existent. If the abuser doesn't immediately apologize and rarely indulge in a defining statement, the relationship may be a verbally abusive one. ^[1]

In schools a young person may indulge in verbal abuse - bullying (bullying often has a physical component) to gain status as superior to the person targeted and to bond with others against the target. Generally the bully knows no other way to connect emotionally ie. be bonded with others. ^[2]

In couple relationships the verbal abuser responds to the partners "separateness" i.e, independent thoughts, views, desires, feelings, expressions (even of happiness) as an irritant or even an attack. ^[3] While some people believe the abuser has low self esteem and so attempts to place their victim in a similar position, i.e. to believe negative things about him or herself this is not usually the case in couple relationships. A man may for example, disparage a woman partner simply because she has qualities that were disparaged in him, i.e., emotional intelligence, warmth, receptivity and so forth.^{[citation needed]}

A person of any gender, race, culture, sexual orientation, age, or size may experience verbal abuse. Typically, in couple or family relationships verbal abuse increases in intensity and frequency over time. ^[4]After exposure to verbal abuse, victims may fall into clinical depression and/ or post-traumatic stress disorder. The person targeted by verbal abuse over time may succumb to any stress related illness. Verbal abuse creates emotional pain and mental anguish in its target.

Despite being the most common form of abuse, verbal abuse is generally not taken as seriously as other types of abuse, because there is no visible proof and the abuser may have a perfect persona around others. In reality, however, verbal abuse can be more detrimental to a person's health than physical abuse. If a person is verbally abused from childhood on, he or she may develop psychological disorders that plague them into and even through adulthood.

Verbal abuse includes the following: countering, withholding, discounting, verbal abuse disguised as a joke, blocking & diverting, accusing & blaming, judging & criticizing, trivializing, undermining, threatening, name calling, chronic forgetting, ordering, denial of anger or abuse, and abusive anger."^[5]

 

The father doesn't want to hurt Silent Maidens feelings, that is never a fathers/mothers quest to do. Sure they may be douches but his/her father is not purposely doing this for his own entertainment and wants to do it. He probably has other reasons why is doing this.

 

Verbal Abuse is a bit different from the situation Silent Maiden is facing with his/her father.

 

@Topic

 

Hopefully you can try to get to talk to your father about this?

It seems to be bothering you when it should not, if your father has time try to speak to him about it.

Also it doesn't really matter if he said "Cartoons if for kids".

Your dad shouldn't be the boss of what you want to watch, it's not harming anyone, so you can watch it.

*SPOILERS FOR LENGEND OF KORRA*

 

 

Besides I don't see how Legend of Korra is a kiddy show they had murder-suicide at the end.

 

 

 

But in all-seriousness, go talk to him and do what you want which isn't harmful or hurting anyone.

About the printer thing, you should talk to him about that also. I don't want to really pressure you onto doing it behind his back...

Maybe you can speak with your mom about it?

Ehhh first try the stuff you can do without destroying your fathers trust. c:

Edited September 4, 2012 by Shana09

[Wolfgang 735]

My fathers old.

nuff said.

[Pyrrha Nikos 1,162]

I'm very anti-social and I have 0 social skills. I can barely even buy something in a store without thinking the employee is judging me and the getting paranoid over it. Being friends with those online is actually healthier for your esteem and such because, for the most part, they're friends with you for who you are and you can open up to them more. You won't feel judged and you'll feel more confident around them if you ever happened to meet them irl, which in turn could make you more social.

It's up to you who your friends are, not your Dad. To be honest I don't see why you care so much for his opinion on that. I mean, sure, he's your Dad. But his opinions don't dictate how you should live and who your friends are. Talk to him about it, or let him be. Unless he's physically trying to stop you watching cartoons, having friends online and going on the computer, just let him get over it until he accepts it.

 

That's how I am too I feel like the employee may judge me by the type of clothes I buy, but I'm trying hard to be a little more social and not care what others think. You're right, I do choose my friends on how well we get along and building a healthy relationship with them will definitely boost up my self esteem and social skills, but he doesn't see how that's going to turn out because I don't get to see my internet friend in person, but meh who cares what he thinks, a friend is always someone who helps me through the hardest of trials and have shoulders to cry on when ever I feel sad or depress.

 

I just really want him to be supportive of me and prove him that the decisions I make will lead me to a brighter future where I can finally prove him that he is wrong. But after reading all the posts on here, I shouldn't really care what he thinks now. I know I'm a strong person I just got to be more a bit socializing with people 'cause I know my future career will have to involve talking to people

 

He' not physically trying to stop me from watching cartoons, he just mocks me for liking what I watch on TV, but I shouldn't really listen to him anymore and just enjoy my favorite cartoons. Knowing him he'll probably not accepted, but that doesn't mean he can stop me from making friends and watch the shows I love to watch. I shouldn't be afraid of my dad anymore and desperately try to approve him of my opinions.

 

Your advice is of true gratitude and I thank you for it

[Pyrrha Nikos 1,162]

The father doesn't want to hurt Silent Maidens feelings, that is never a fathers/mothers quest to do. Sure they may be douches but his/her father is not purposely doing this for his own entertainment and wants to do it. He probably has other reasons why is doing this.

 

Verbal Abuse is a bit different from the situation Silent Maiden is facing with his/her father.

 

@Topic

 

Hopefully you can try to get to talk to your father about this?

It seems to be bothering you when it should not, if your father has time try to speak to him about it.

Also it doesn't really matter if he said "Cartoons if for kids".

Your dad shouldn't be the boss of what you want to watch, it's not harming anyone, so you can watch it.

*SPOILERS FOR LENGEND OF KORRA*

 

 

Besides I don't see how Legend of Korra is a kiddy show they had murder-suicide at the end.

 

 

 

But in all-seriousness, go talk to him and do what you want which isn't harmful or hurting anyone.

About the printer thing, you should talk to him about that also. I don't want to really pressure you onto doing it behind his back...

Maybe you can speak with your mom about it?

Ehhh first try the stuff you can do without destroying your fathers trust. c:

 

I was grateful enough to watch the finale online since the cable broke down a day after it aired

 

talking to him is always a great idea, but he sees me as a childish teenager, which I shouldn't care what he calls me at all. if I have to, I'll probably constantly try to catch his attention until he 100% listens to me. Yeah, the printer we should DEFINITELY discuss about. Im gonna make sure we talk about that

 

P.S. I'm a girl

[Shana09 5,769]

I was grateful enough to watch the finale online since the cable broke down a day after it aired

 

talking to him is always a great idea, but he sees me as a childish teenager, which I shouldn't care what he calls me at all. if I have to, I'll probably constantly try to catch his attention until he 100% listens to me. Yeah, the printer we should DEFINITELY discuss about. Im gonna make sure we talk about that

 

P.S. I'm a girl

 

I thought you were but wasn't sure.

 

Maybe you should discuss a bit more about your father?

Like what he is normally like?

For example, is he stubborn? is he tense? is he strict? etc. etc.

It kinda help for me (and maybe others) to see what you can possibly do without getting on his nerves.

[Pyrrha Nikos 1,162]

I thought you were but wasn't sure.

 

Maybe you should discuss a bit more about your father?

Like what he is normally like?

For example, is he stubborn? is he tense? is he strict? etc. etc.

It kinda help for me (and maybe others) to see what you can possibly do without getting on his nerves.

 

- Well my dad gets angry easily only if my brothers or I disobey.

-Yes he is rather strict to a point where if I get a bad grade he makes fun of me instead of yelling at me

-He always wants to know where I am at all times so if I get a miss call from him, he drives over to where I'm suppose to be and check if I'm not doing anything stupid. Yeah I think he's a little over protected.

- And he and my mom do get into fights that concern about the mortgage or other bills, but they do this in private so my younger siblings don't have to listen to them.

- Since he thinks as me as 'childish' he rarely listens to me.

[TheApprenticeofKingMickey 3,689]

 

 

- Well my dad gets angry easily only if my brothers or I disobey.

-Yes he is rather strict to a point where if I get a bad grade he makes fun of me instead of yelling at me

-He always wants to know where I am at all times so if I get a miss call from him, he drives over to where I'm suppose to be and check if I'm not doing anything stupid. Yeah I think he's a little over protected.

- And he and my mom do get into fights that concern about the mortgage or other bills, but they do this in private so my younger siblings don't have to listen to them.

- Since he thinks as me as 'childish' he rarely listens to me.

 

Try talking things over with your mother?