4Everbee 1,365 Posted June 1, 2012 I been wanting to make an Snow White re-make for a while now and I been thinking about it for a long time. Okay so here's the plot. Snow white father died and she is stuck with her evil step mother who uses Dark Magic to become younger and to live longer. She kept Snow White locked up for many years now. The queen is told that she must kill Snow white in order to live forever. Snow white has one friend named Ciro, Ciro works for the queen and keeps Snow safe. When the queen is told that she must kill Snow White she sends a man name, Zeno to kill Snow. Before he could Ciro tells Snow White and sends her free and tell's her to go find a girl name Aphrodite. Aphrodite is a young women who is friends with Ciro and trained him to fight. Before Ciro started working for the queen he told Aphrodite that some day he will send somebody to her and she will have to teach her how to fight and stay alive. Zeno soon finds Snow and Aphrodite and try's to kill them. Aphrodite stops him before he could. She tells him about the queen and what she done to Snow White and the town. So should I keep writing the story or just give up ? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NightfallXIII 68 Posted June 1, 2012 Keep writing. Seems pretty good. Besides, I always thought that Snow White could use a makeover anyway. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Keyblade Master Xine 196 Posted June 1, 2012 It'd probably be a million times better than Mirror Mirror. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
4Everbee 1,365 Posted June 1, 2012 It'd probably be a million times better than Mirror Mirror. I liked Mirror Mirror Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hatok 6,413 Posted June 1, 2012 Always keep writing, always keep improving. The only reason to stop something is if you don't want to do it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shadowkiller 6 Posted June 1, 2012 it kinda sound like huntsman but with your own characters Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Keyblade Master Xine 196 Posted June 1, 2012 I liked Mirror Mirror If you do, it's fine. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
4Everbee 1,365 Posted June 1, 2012 it kinda sound like huntsman but with your own characters I got the idea from the Huntsman. Lol. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
4Everbee 1,365 Posted June 2, 2012 Okay before I even finish and post the first part I want to know what you guys think and if you have any tips tell me please . Snow Whites sits alone in her small room, locked away from everything and everybody. "Snow?" Said a young man voice. it was sweet and kind voice Snow have always known. "Ciro?" Snow said quietly, the door opened to show a tall young man with blood hair and blue eyes. He was muscular and had a pair of jeans and a black T-Shirt on, He was He was beautiful. He was holding a tray of Eggs and O,J. Snow smiled, Ciro walked towards Snow White and sat next to her on her bed. Putting the Tray on her lap he smiled. "Your birthday is coming up." He said smiling pulling something out of his pocket . He held out an black box towards her. Snow looked down at the box and smiled. "You shouldn't have." "You don't even know what it is yet." Shaking her head Snow took the box from Ciro and opened it. It was a gold lucky charm . Snow hugged Ciro tightly. "Thank you.'' Smiling Ciro pushed her away. "It was your father's. Your 18 now. Why don't you take the crown and kill that evil whore." Laughing Snow punched Ciro arm playful. This boy is nuts. Was he? All he wanted was Snow White to take the crown and make the town what it use to be. Before the King died and the queen took over. When the town People would sing and dance and there were no poor. Ciro got up from the bed and headed for the door. "Snow... Something is coming... Something evil.. I want you to think about me and you running away and hiding at my friend's Aphrodite. Okay?" Ciro said, His voice sounded worry and scared. Snow White nodded. Ciro left the room and walked to the queens ball room. "You're turning odd my queen." Said a man with long white hair as he bowed. The man was wearing a black suit and had his hair tied in a ponytail , "Not for long." The queen replyed. Smiling the queen got up from her seat and walked towards the man. "Παλιά δεν είμαι. Αλλάξτε το οικόπεδο. Κάνε με τους νέους και ζωντανές για πάντα." As she said those words darkness filled the room and lighting strikes rained down upon them. When the room was no longer filled with darkness the queen smiled. "Young do I look not?" The man looked up at her. "My queen. . ." The man took a step back from her. The queen ran to a mirror, It can't be. Can it? The queens magic didn't work but why? "Mirror mirror on the wall. Why am I not the hottest one of them all?" Ciro had to cover his mouth from laughing. The man smiled and turned away. "As long as Snow White lives. Your magic will not work. Snow White is hot while you are not. Deal with it.." The queen turned to the man who was trying to hold back from laughing. "Bring me Zeno." The men looked back the queen. "But why?" He asked. The queen raise her hand and a light blot shined. "Snow White must-.' She made her hand into a fist and the light blot turned into darkness. 'die.' Ciro eyes opened wide, He turn to run to tell Snow White but when he turned around there was a man with blue short hair holding a knife. "My dear queen. It's look like we have a rat.'' The man said pushing Ciro towards the queen. "Bow!" He yelled. Ciro kneel down . The queen walked toward Ciro and smiled. Her red eyes looking to his. "You look rather... Tasty. I bet you're soul is rich.'' Yep the queen was a bitch who liked eating soul who would of known??? Ciro smiled at the queen. "May God. My queen. . . What happened to your face?" Angry fulled the queen as she slapped him. The man with the blue hair pulled his knife and put it to Ciro neck. "Let him go, We're deal with him later.'' The queen said waving her hand towards the men. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Snow 1,800 Posted June 4, 2012 I thought this was a thread about me when I saw "Snow White." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
4Everbee 1,365 Posted June 4, 2012 I thought this was a thread about me when I saw "Snow White." Well. I hope I got your hopes up.C: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kirie 3,489 Posted June 5, 2012 So i'm guessing this is a story about snow.. x3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
4Everbee 1,365 Posted June 5, 2012 So i'm guessing this is a story about snow.. x3 -Facepalm.- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites