Hyperion 144 Posted May 25, 2012 Alright I posted a topic yesterday to see if anyone wanted to read my speech to help me out with it. I got MOSTLY positive answers so here it is: (And keep in mind this isn't the final product, just a rough draft) Outer Space Manuscript Have you ever wondered what’s out there in space? I wonder all the time. Very interesting things could exist on planets like exotic plants, cool rocks or even other life forms. We can’t be the only living things in the universe, right? Space is full of mysteries, many of which we wont find out for a long, long time. Listen and you will learn about what space is like, planets and stars, and also the possibility of life. Space is a very strange place. We’ve all seen movies with people in space, right? They float around and can jump very high. A common misconception of why you float is because there’s no gravity. Well that’s wrong. There is gravity in space. The reason you float is because you are actually orbiting an object, much like how the Earth orbits the sun. If you are on the moon and jump you will jump very high. That’s because The Moon has 1/6th the gravity of Earth so you can jump 36 times higher there. Astronaut suits are also very warm because space is extremely cold. This is because the wavelength is stretched in space and stretched wavelengths are colder. Space is about -270 degrees Celsius. All right, now onto the Planets and Stars. First, the Planets. Planets can either be Gas Giants, or solid, like Earth. If a Planet were a gas giant we wouldn’t be able to live on it because of the gas, obviously. They do have cores though, but since they’re surrounded by gas we would die. Before we got within 100 miles of it. Scientists have discovered a planet that may have some form of life on it. It is named Gliese. It is the first planet discovered that could sustain life. It even has water on it and looks a lot like Earth. The only down side is it’s 20 light years away so we wont live to even see a device built to get there. Now time for he Stars. Most Stars are huge. And I mean giant. If you think the sun is big you should see Canis Majoris. It’s the largest known star in existence. *USE VISUAL AID HERE* Imagine the Earth is the size of a BB. Our sun would be a little bigger than a Basketball. Now, Canis Majoris would be a ball 1 mile in diameter! It is HUGE and it may not even be the biggest star in the universe. This leads me to my next topic. The Universe is big. It’s so big, that the giant star I just talked about is MANY light years away, and we can barely see it with our most powerful telescope. So that means it’s possible that life exists out there, since there is so much room and it’s constantly expanding. But we need to wonder the risks if we find any Aliens. If we did find Aliens on some planet, they could be hostile. They could try to enslave us or even kill us! But that’s unlikely. Now have you ever thought why we’ve never seen official Aliens? It’s possible, unlikely though, that we could be the most advanced species in the Universe. I know it’s kind of crazy to think about, but it’s possible. It could be why we’ve never seen aliens. People have said they’ve seen aliens, but they usually don’t have proof. And when they do it looks pretty fake, or if it’s footage it has no sound. I believe in Aliens, do you? So the Universe is a very cool place. There are cool looking planets out there, cool stars and possibly Aliens. Space really fascinates me because of all it has to offer, and I hope you’re fascinated by it to. I’m sad though that I won’t live long enough to see other planets but you can always dream what they look like… Alright well there it is! I hope you liked it, and if I said anything incorrectly, please correct me I was slightly rushed with this so it may have a few errors. But, thanks for reading! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rikufan25 170 Posted May 25, 2012 Seems pretty good to me. Great job! 1 Hyperion reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hyperion 144 Posted May 25, 2012 Seems pretty good to me. Great job! Really? THANK YOU! That's a relief! I didn't think it was very good but it's good to know someone liked it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkchaser 788 Posted May 25, 2012 Good start. I'm wondering what is the requirement for this speech. How long do you have to talk for? Also make sure to practice in front of a mirror. Also practice in front of people you don't know personally ( i say this because friends and family care for you and might not say the truth about your speech. so they might not give you the feedback you need. Also if you practice in front of people you don't know personally you will get used to talking in front of different kind of people, because if all you do is practice in front of your friend they might not give you the right kind of feedback.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 513 Posted May 25, 2012 (edited) i'll be blunt: your writing has absolutely no flow whatsoever. it sounds choppy and disjointed and there's no variation in your sentence lengths at all. try using a mix of simple and compound sentences, as opposed to just simple like you've been doing. the second to last paragraph is a bit iffy. i don't know what your assignment is or what your teacher expects, but i would stick to facts for a report like this, instead of speculations. Edited May 25, 2012 by Madotsuki Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hyperion 144 Posted May 26, 2012 i'll be blunt: your writing has absolutely no flow whatsoever. it sounds choppy and disjointed and there's no variation in your sentence lengths at all. try using a mix of simple and compound sentences, as opposed to just simple like you've been doing. the second to last paragraph is a bit iffy. i don't know what your assignment is or what your teacher expects, but i would stick to facts for a report like this, instead of speculations. Well it is only a rough draft so far. I still have lots of time to work on it, but thanks fro the advice. 1 Godot reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
