Xer 670 Posted May 5, 2012 Wild Bane Chronicle Advise: This surely has blood and rarely swears, and its based with real and non-real things, this is my first writting so... enjoy! Prologue Year 1500 ??? – Master can we start the new expiriment? Ienzo – Hm… Yes you can… We need to go far with this, we don’t have much time! Off with you now... ??? – I’ll show you… The mysterious man summons a strange sword, pointed at Master Ienzo’s Head… Ienzo – You don’t need this… just.. drop the keyblade, I don’t wanna hurt you… ??? – Say goodbye! And by saying this the mysterious man chopped the head of Master Ienzo, and he fall down in the floor but lately that floor had been showed up with blood, but his heart just flied… The mysterious man walk right to the microphone put is hands in the table and said: ??? – Things now are going to change! Chapter 1 – Year 2800 Other worlds were apart, and there resided more people… some good… some bad… It was a shiny day to planet Earth, where millions of people reside in… At Planet Earth lives a boy in the Portugal country… in the islands of Açores. His name is Guylherme… Guylherme was a tall boy with about 15 years old, long spiky brown hair, small ears and small nose, he was stubborn, friendly… No Gravity Skateboarding is his favourite, but he also like parkour... In that sunshine day Guylherme was running to met is friend, Jim Hawkins… Guylherme: Hey Jim! Jim: Hey! Ready for some skating… Today’s the biggest challenge! Guylherme: For the Pico mountain? Jim: Yes. Here are the skates, or what? You scared? Guylherme: You’re on! *Guylherme picks the skate. At the middle of the mountain… Guylherme: Jim… Jim: Aye? Guylherme: Do we really have a porpuse? Jim: Well *don’t be like that, just cheer up and keep thinking you’ll know some day, about me I’m going to run the Benbow Inn, so does my mom say… Guylherme: You look like a momma’s boy… Jim: Do not! Two: Hahahahahahaha! *don't be like that, just cheer up and keep thinking you'll know some day(...) - message by SoraGR 1 Kirie reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kirie 3,489 Posted May 5, 2012 On 5/5/2012 at 4:23 PM, 'SkyVentus' said: Wild Bane Chronicle Advise: This surely has blood and rarely swears, and its based with real and non-real things, this is my first writting so... enjoy! Prologue Year 1500 ??? – Master can we start the new expiriment? Ienzo – Hm… Yes you can… We need to go far with this, we don’t have much time! Off with you now... ??? – I’ll show you… The mysterious man summons a strange sword, pointed at Master Ienzo’s Head… Ienzo – You don’t need this… just.. drop the keyblade, I don’t wanna hurt you… ??? – Say goodbye! And by saying this the mysterious man chopped the head of Master Ienzo, and he fall down in the floor but lately that floor had been showed up with blood, but his heart just flied… The mysterious man walk right to the microphone put is hands in the table and said: ??? – Things now are going to change! Chapter 1 – Year 2800 Other worlds were apart, and there resided more people… some good… some bad… It was a shiny day to planet Earth, where millions of people reside in… At Planet Earth lives a boy in the Portugal country… in the islands of Açores. His name is Guylherme… Guylherme was a tall boy with about 15 years old, long spiky brown hair, small ears and small nose, he was stubborn, friendly… No Gravity Skateboarding is his favourite, but he also like parkour... In that sunshine day Guylherme was running to met is friend, Jim Hawkins… Guylherme: Hey Jim! Jim: Hey! Ready for some skating… Today’s the biggest challenge! Guylherme: For the Pico mountain? Jim: Yes. Here are the skates, or what? You scared? Guylherme: You’re on! *Guylherme picks the skate. At the middle of the mountain… Guylherme: Jim… Jim: Aye? Guylherme: Do we really have a porpuse? Jim: Well *don’t be like that, just cheer up and keep thinking you’ll know some day, about me I’m going to run the Benbow Inn, so does my mom say… Guylherme: You look like a momma’s boy… Jim: Do not! Two: Hahahahahahaha! *don't be like that, just cheer up and keep thinking you'll know some day(...) - message by SoraGR Not bad kinda bloody in the beginning, You should put some warnings of bloody violence if you making an awesome story like that.I recommend you to make a bigger introduction the characters, only one character you presented. But other than that it's alright. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Protoman 1,974 Posted May 5, 2012 Quote And by saying this the mysterious man chopped the head of Master Ienzo, and he fall down in the floor but lately that floor had been showed up with blood, but his heart just flied… Question: What does this mean Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xer 670 Posted May 5, 2012 On 5/5/2012 at 4:42 PM, 'Protoman' said: Question: What does this mean The mysterious man cut ienzo's head, like normal, the floor has filled with blood from his head... and the heart flied making a hear.... and a nobo..... which will be essencial to the story... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites