Web Analytics Made Easy - StatCounter
Jump to content
  • Sign Up
Tom

How To Get Laid

By Tom, in Random & Forum Games

Recommended Posts

Tom    437

Tom
Posted

Let's be honest here. You're probably a member with no job, no girlfriend, nothing. And while I'm not an expert, I can easily teach you how to get laid in just mere simple ways. Now this a tutorial is for guys. If you are a girl and you want to get laid, I'll explain that later, along with other stuff.

 

The first step into getting laid is to find your female companion. It could be any female of your liking that you wish to engage sexual combat with. After find her, strike up a conversation with the girl, and get to know her better and whatever shit you please. It doesn't have to be about anything, talk about anything. And then while she's in the middle of talking, just stare at her crotch. Gaze into her vagina, long enough for her to notice. This is where you make the move. Before she even says anything about what you're doing, just point down there and ask, "Are you going to eat that?". And that's it. Your female companion will automatically say yes. I can guarantee you 100% that this method works flawlessly, hands down. This is have worked many times and it's definitely fool-proof. There's no way this won't work.

 

Now for some any odd reason, whether you firetrucked up or any particular reason that may lead a negative response, or even any unknown reason it doesn't work, she declines, there's a back up plan. The original plan should of worked without a problem, so I wouldn't see how she would say no. But if she does, here's what you do. After the long tense silence, make sure that both of you are locking eyes, then all you have to do is just drop to the ground and start rolling to her. It's kind of like Stop, Drop, and Roll. And just roll to her until your body is on your back and she is above you. You may now proceed to ask her to sit on your face. This is should now work. There's no reason for it to fail. There is absolutely no way it shouldn't work, since it is the perfect way on how to get laid.

 

So yeah, that's pretty much it. That's how you get laid, the easiest way possible.

 

Now if you're female and you wish to get along with a male companion and to get to know each other better, wink wink. Frankly, I shouldn't have to say any, because pretty much anything you do will help you get laid. But in case you're a dumb broad and you need help, I am just the man to help you with that.

 

So first simple thing is to invite the male companion to a good location, preferably your home. Doesn't have to be anywhere fancy, might want to include beds or comfortable furnature. Assuming this is your home, just go into the kitchen and just make a sandwich (make sure you know what he likes, and ask if you could put any liquid substance like ketchup or mustard on it). While you're there, get undressed, then take the sandwich to him, being naked. When he sees you, he will get a surprised look, but he shouldn't be jumping out your window just yet. Hand him the sandwich and ask him to open it up. When he does, I hope you had those liquid substances on it. If you did, whatever it was, make sure it says, "Do me in the ass". And he'll be pretty horny for you, so you should be good, and you guys should have some great sex.

 

And uh, yeah. In case you're wondering, if you are of not heterosexuality, there is no need to worries. You can just follow the steps above. For girl on girl, go for the female guide, and for guy on guy, go for the male guide. You just got to make sure that they are of homosexuality as you are, or unless they don't give a damn. You should be good there as well.

 

One last thing, if you're a person who doesn't like another companion, and you are getting tired of your hand, that you probably named Mrs. Fairy Princess, I have just one tip for you. For males, make sure you have two mattress, and just insert your junk in there, thrust, feel good inc. For females, just find random objects. Anything works. Even if it's found in your tool shed, you should be perfectly safe. This is a great way to spice up your life with an awesome 20 minute experience while your parents are sleeping.

 

You may then post this on your Twatter, bragging to everyone of your accomplishment of enjoying sexual pleasure.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o&ob=av3e

Kinode, HarLea Quinn and DChiuch's Slave reacted to this

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Icarus    161

Icarus
Posted

"You're probably a member with no job, no girlfriend-"

 

Me: "I have a job and a girlfriend so I'm just gonna not read this and read the comments." :P

 

Cause obviously you can't get laid by just attracting a girl.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites
Go To Topic Listing
×
×
  • Create New...