Am I a bad person?

[Cricket 1,180]

I've been thinking over about a lot of things lately and just a few days ago I broke up with my boyfriend and we dated a little over a year. Anyway, off to the story.

 

I loved my boyfriend, we started dating last November and everything was exciting and normal until this past summer; I met someone else in my Anatomy and Physiology summer class and it's like it suddenly hit me that this guy was the one for me. It was hard and confusing to explain the feeling. Every time he looked at me, my heart would race and I'd babble on about random stuff. I told my boyfriend about my confusing feelings and he told me not to text the guy anymore or even talk to him at school. I knew it was wrong of me to have feelings for someone else while I was in a relationship, but it's like I couldn't help it, like my heart was telling me that I belonged with this other guy. I tried to ignore him and I even stopped texting him so I could remain loyal to my relationship. A few months went by and I didn't hear from the guy and my relationship with my boyfriend continued and I tried to act normal and pretend like everything was okay when it actually wasn't. I felt trapped in my relationship and I felt guilty for not telling my boyfriend how I felt. He would tell me he loved me and I would say it back, but every single time I said it I felt guilty and felt like such a horrible person; it finally all built up and I couldn't take it anymore so last Friday I broke up with him and told him everything, how I didn't really love him and how there was someone else and I was afraid to tell him. I won't go into full detail about our last conversation, but he didn't take it well and he kept begging me to take him back and how he would change and get a job. He was never really motivated and never wanted to do anything or go out, that was another problem in our relationship. I told him that no matter how many times he begs I will say no and that I've already given him chances. Well, last night and the day before I hung out with the guy from the summer and I found out he likes me back and he kissed me. I felt awful though like I was moving too fast only after its been a few days since I broke up with my ex, but I was actually happy that this guy kissed me and it was the best I have ever felt in my life, it was amazing. It was just perfect. Me and this guy are keeping things on the down low so no one will find out, but I just feel like I'm moving too fast but I'm already over my ex, idk why but I just am. I didn't cry over our break up or anything, it felt like a wave of relief washed over me when I broke up with him...

 

So I just want to know, am I a horrible person for just following my heart?

[Kinode 3,056]

I don't think you're a bad person.

Seriously, there's nothing worse than doing something you don't feel. You liked this guy, not the other one. It's not your fault. You followed your feelings and thatś what matters. That's my opinion anyway.

[Lu Xun 2,069]

_{No, I don't think you are a bad person, Cricket.}

 

_{You were right to follow your heart, and by what you've said, your ex wasn't worth you. You chose to hold your feelings to keep your ex happy, and that was a good act, but there was a time that you could no longer hold it.}

 

_{At least you did not betray him, like many other girls would've done. You followed your heart, and that was the right thing to do, I'm sure. Good luck with your almost new relationship. You deserve to be happy}

[P50L 610]

Of course not!

 

In every relationship, there needs to be special alone time for both the partners. Your ex didn't feel motivated enough to spend time with you. That is NEVER a good choice.

 

You found someone that wants to spend alone time and that does not make you a horrible person.

[Deadshot 666]

I would say No your just following your heart and reason the other member said.

[Cricket 1,180]

Thank you guys

Yeah I was just following my heart and it felt right to me.

Thank you for all being understanding.

I still care for my ex, but more as a friend and I wish him the best luck and that he'll find a girl that truly deserves him.

[Oishii 3,987]

No, in fact I think it would have been smarter if you pulled out of the relationship earlier. You can't force yourself to love someone. If you go out with someone you don't have any love for, it's the same as lying to them. Break-ups are messy and never fun, but they are necessary. It's good that you were clear with your ex that you are making a clean break in the relationship so that he can move on. And if your new relationship feels rushed, then tell him that. If he loves you, he'll understand. So just take things at their pace. As for you feeling relief after breaking up with someone, I've had that feeling too. I was in a relationship that lasted two months and at the end I was so exhausted by it that I was glad it was over. And I wasn't even the one who broke up the relationship

[WakingDawn96 1,166]

This reminds of Snow White and Price Charming tell on Once Upon A Time (ABC). I think you should always listen to what your heart says, not your mind.

[TheKingdomkid 1,194]

no your not a bad person you did the right thing the spark wasnt there anymore so to speak and you found someone else hope your happy together. wish i could get over my ex

[Queen Tery 4,591]

honestly you did the best thing you could. You tried, but realized it wasnt working and ended it. you handled it without cheating on your ex and instead were honest with him and yourself. id say that makes you a better person than most.

[shadowblade 31]

you're not a bad person.if he was'nt motivated or anything how was he gonna take care of you?your ex honestly just sounded like a guy who just wanted to say he had a girlfriend to me.sorry if im a little blunt but i think you shouldve broken it off sooner if he just plain out didnt have any drive.

[Snow 1,800]

You aren't a bad person.

You did what any woman would've done.

[Kaiso 2,764]

No I don't think you're a horrible person Cricket. You didn't feel the same way your ex felt about you and I feel that it was better for you guys to break up than to stay in that relationship. You didn't cheat on him, which was a really great thing to do and you even tried to give him another chance for a while and realized it didn't work out. I think if your feelings for this new guy are true you're not doing anything bad either by moving on.

[4Everbee 1,365]

Yes you are.Nahhh I'm kidin.I'm kidin.

But really your not a bad person.

[Oathkeeper#13 25]

Ok Honestly from experience, your Ex right now will probably feel like crap, if hes begging you to come back then he probably cares for you alot,but if you dont love him then its better for you guys to be just friends,Just dont treat him bad or be mean to him,The best thing to do is to tell him the truth, which you did, just dont leave anything out. All a guy wants is to know the truth, we dont want a stupid excuse, Your not a bad person if you told him the truth, be his friend though & dont kiss your current boyfriend or do anything in front of your Ex thats mean.Try to be a good friend to your Ex though, he will get over you eventually

[Sora96 17,256]

Your a role model to people, Cricket. Your a great person and dealt with this very well. I'm happy for you and hope that you have a great relationship with this guy.

[Larxene12 86]

How are you a horrible person? Some people would just date both guys [like my ex-friend]

But seriously,

You are an incredibly selfless person. Even though you thought someone else was the one, instead of dumping the boyfriend right away, no explantion, in a text- you told him why and considered his feeling before yours.

Don't bring yourself down, be happy! You did what you thought best not only for you but for your ex, he can move on with life and so can you.

Good luck in your new relationship- hope I helped!