Question about gay people

[Key2Oblivion 37]

Ok first off I admit that I'm uneducated on this topic so I'm sorry if this is offensive, even though I don't think it is.

 

Anyway, why does it seem that gay men are attracted to feminine men, and lesbians are attracted to masculine women?

 

Also, why do lesbians(the ones I know) hate men, but gay men love women?

 

So again, I'm asking because I don't really understand, but I would like to. So if any of it is offensive I'm sorry in advanced.

[Queen Tery 4,591]

im pretty sure thats not every gay person, but more of a personal preference. Though it may be possible that some lesbians have been through bad relationships with men and have chosen to be gay and that would be why they hate men.

[P50L 610]

Gay men love women because they can be who the really want to be without being judged by other guys.

 

The women accept for who they want to be and actually treat them like another girl.

 

Lesbian women also see the same as straight guys.

 

If they want to be gay, bi, tri, quad, trans, or anyway, Let them It's not like they're hurting someone right?

[Mirr0rVS13 169]

"Anyway, why does it seem that gay men are attracted to feminine men?"

 

Not all of them are attracted to feminine men, some like the masculine kind I think.

 

"and lesbians are attracted to masculine women?"

 

Some like the more feminine woman, not all of them are attracted to masculine women.

 

^^^^I guess it all in the end really depends on who they're into or how they were raised could influence their choice.

[Keyblade King 12 486]

It's a bit stereotypical but not exactly bad.

 

With gay men, there are usually (to use yaoi terms) ukes and semes. Ukes are more feminine, while Semes are more masculine. This is true for real life as well. Basically it depends on how much testosterone and oestrogen you have in your bodies and if you were actually born an X chromosome. Because of this, the majority of gay people are feminine and so you would find that most of them would prefer to go out with feminine gays, because they're easier to find, but also maybe just because two feminine gays would have more in common. And more masculine gay people would also prefer a feminine one, again because of the availability but also because that gay men like to show dominance whenever they can, in a world that limits their independence, so they would prefer a more feminine partner.

 

As for Lesbians, I would like to remind you of the Amazons and Hunters. Both of which are full female tribes, not specifically lesbians, but still women who don't particularly enjoy the company of men, usually because they see men as inferior or just horrible beings.

And in our society now, men can be quite awful to lesbians, as it turns a lot of men on, sexually, to want to be with lesbians. So a certain hatred has grown.

[Ivan 969]

Not all gay men/lesbians are like that, it's merely a stereotype. While yes, there are people that are like that, but it's just a preference.

 

Everybody has a preference as to whom they're attracted to. Like (for example) I'm attracted to guys that either have messy hair or shave their head. And tattoos. I love tattoos. Generally I'm attracted to masculine guys. While my friend, who is female, is attracted to all kinds of people. I have another friend (who is also female) that is attracted to both masculine men and feminine men and feminine women. Different people, different sexualities, different preferences.

[hatok 6,413]

That's a bunch of stereotypes. You shouldn't base your views on what sitcoms would have you believe.

[Spectrum of Life 188]

Sexuality doesn't have much to do with mannerisms. While people DO tend to to pick people that or similar to them (or especially) people from the same subculture, that doesn't have total bearing over their choice of partner.

I have never seen a lesbian (I've met almost a hundred) that despises men.Not sure why they would, unless they're lesbian separatists, and those are pretty fringe.

 

I feel compelled to say it, as the mistake is made so many times. Sexuality isn't a choice. No heterosexual goes: "Hmm... should I take a *insert type of person here* out to town. even though I find them completely uninteresting and don't have any particular desire to form a commitment with them."

As does no Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual person. I'm sorry to go out of my way to state that but the whole deal something that drives me crazy.

[Key2Oblivion 37]

Oh wow this is my bad. I thought I wrote how this was all based on my own experiences, so I know that this doesn't apply to ALL gay people. I was just wondering why it seemed that most were like that. Well now that I wrote that I'm not too sure it really makes a difference but still just putting it out there.

[Koko 3,944]

I WILL TEACH YOU ABOUT THE LGBT COMMUNITY DEAR

 

FIRST OF ALL

Hi

I'm gay

I'm a woman

Not exactly a lesbian, but basically I'm homosexual biromantic, meaning I'm a lesbian who can be romantically interested in men, but not sexually interested.

Now my girlfriend and I are probably the most feminine looking girls ever. I don't like masculine looking girls. I like feminine girls. And I think feminine looking guys are aesthetically appealing. I enjoy femininity.

I also have a lot of guy friends, and I might as well be one of the guys since I do get along with most. So I certainly do not hate men.

 

 

It's all a matter of preference.

Just like how some straight people have preferences (like my best friend finds Asian men the most attractive), gays have preferences too (like I like more femininity over all).

 

 

 

im pretty sure thats not every gay person, but more of a personal preference. Though it may be possible that some lesbians have been through bad relationships with men and have chosen to be gay and that would be why they hate men.

 

This is false. No true lesbian chooses to be gay because she had a bad experience. Sexuality is not something you choose. Sexuality is fluid yes, this is true, but it's not something like 'OH GUYS SUCK IM GOING TO GO LESBO'

Not only is that offensive to actual lesbians but it makes you look like an idiot.

 

It's a bit stereotypical but not exactly bad.

 

With gay men, there are usually (to use yaoi terms) ukes and semes. Ukes are more feminine, while Semes are more masculine. This is true for real life as well. Basically it depends on how much testosterone and oestrogen you have in your bodies and if you were actually born an X chromosome. Because of this, the majority of gay people are feminine and so you would find that most of them would prefer to go out with feminine gays, because they're easier to find, but also maybe just because two feminine gays would have more in common. And more masculine gay people would also prefer a feminine one, again because of the availability but also because that gay men like to show dominance whenever they can, in a world that limits their independence, so they would prefer a more feminine partner.

 

The whole uke and seme thing is slightly false as well As far as I've seen, male/male relationships are not like that at all. Just because a man looks more feminine does mean he's gay first of all or that he is an 'Uke'. Just as if a man looks masculine, you shouldn't assume he's straight. He might be as gay as a rainbow. Hell, he might actually be a woman. Masculinity doesn't mean he's a 'Seme'. Those terms should only apply to anime because it's kind of offensive, since GAY MEN ARE NOT LIKE THAT. Yaoi is unreal and stereotypical.

[Oishii 3,987]

Oh wow this is my bad. I thought I wrote how this was all based on my own experiences, so I know that this doesn't apply to ALL gay people. I was just wondering why it seemed that most were like that. Well now that I wrote that I'm not too sure it really makes a difference but still just putting it out there.

 

Because when we have preconceived notions about people we tend to see 'evidence' of it more often. For instance, lets say one day I volunteer at a nursing home and I notice the place smells. I may come to the conclusion that old people smell. Whenever I encounter an old person who smells, I think it's just more evidence that it's true. However, I may end up passing by a lot of old people and they don't smell. Since I don't have the smell to remind me of my stereotype, the evidence against my theory goes unnoticed.

 

I guess the same goes with what you mentioned about lesbians. You may have met a lot of nice girls who were lesbians but you didn't know it. But run into one lesbian who has that hatred to men and suddenly it's evidence that it's true. That's really what it is. There is evidence out there against our preconceived beliefs, but we are unlikely to notice them.

 

Oh, and I applaud you for being unafraid to ask these sort of questions ^^ If you don't know about something, it's best to ask even if it's a touchy subject. How else will you learn, right?

[Queen Tery 4,591]

I WILL TEACH YOU ABOUT THE LGBT COMMUNITY DEAR

 

FIRST OF ALL

Hi

I'm gay

I'm a woman

Not exactly a lesbian, but basically I'm homosexual biromantic, meaning I'm a lesbian who can be romantically interested in men, but not sexually interested.

Now my girlfriend and I are probably the most feminine looking girls ever. I don't like masculine looking girls. I like feminine girls. And I think feminine looking guys are aesthetically appealing. I enjoy femininity.

I also have a lot of guy friends, and I might as well be one of the guys since I do get along with most. So I certainly do not hate men.

 

 

It's all a matter of preference.

Just like how some straight people have preferences (like my best friend finds Asian men the most attractive), gays have preferences too (like I like more femininity over all).

 

 

 

 

 

This is false. No true lesbian chooses to be gay because she had a bad experience. Sexuality is not something you choose. Sexuality is fluid yes, this is true, but it's not something like 'OH GUYS SUCK IM GOING TO GO LESBO'

Not only is that offensive to actual lesbians but it makes you look like an idiot.

 

 

 

The whole uke and seme thing is slightly false as well As far as I've seen, male/male relationships are not like that at all. Just because a man looks more feminine does mean he's gay first of all or that he is an 'Uke'. Just as if a man looks masculine, you shouldn't assume he's straight. He might be as gay as a rainbow. Hell, he might actually be a woman. Masculinity doesn't mean he's a 'Seme'. Those terms should only apply to anime because it's kind of offensive, since GAY MEN ARE NOT LIKE THAT. Yaoi is unreal and stereotypical.

 

i apologize, i should have been more specific. True sexuality is not chosen, yes. However, some women and men can be pushed, through bad relationships, to start dating the same sex. I understand that for, many people, it is not a choice. i was merely saying that in some cases and situations. I have a friend who is homosexual who has told me on many occasion that he wishes he was straight because of society and the way he is treated for being homosexual.

[Koko 3,944]

i apologize, i should have been more specific. True sexuality is not chosen, yes. However, some women and men can be pushed, through bad relationships, to start dating the same sex. I understand that for, many people, it is not a choice. i was merely saying that in some cases and situations. I have a friend who is homosexual who has told me on many occasion that he wishes he was straight because of society and the way he is treated for being homosexual.

 

That's a completely different situation.

I think what you meant to say is that sometimes occurrences in ones life can confuse one about their sexuality.

[Queen Tery 4,591]

That's a completely different situation.

I think what you meant to say is that sometimes occurrences in ones life can confuse one about their sexuality.

 

that would be a better way of putting it and i know the example is different i just meant that i know its not truly a choice. Im saying that he doesnt have the choice to start liking women. he cant help that he likes men. thats his sexuality. The point i was making is that it is not truly an option.

[Miku Hatsune 636]

It's a bit stereotypical but not exactly bad.

 

With gay men, there are usually (to use yaoi terms) ukes and semes. Ukes are more feminine, while Semes are more masculine.

 

 

Did you just refer to real-life couples as "Semes" and "ukes"?

No.

I'm sorry.

But.... No.

 

That's a huge stereotype that's usually untrue.

While there are couples where there's a masculine man and a feminine man, you shouldn't judge gay couples on their looks.

Gay men are very...dynamic, if you will. They can be two masculine dudes, or two feminine guys. The way they have sex isn't judged upon their 'feminism' or 'masculinity.'

 

For example, I'm with another female who is taller and dresses more masculine than I do. Does that mean that she would be "on top" if we were to have sex? Not necessarily. It all depends on preference.

[Keyblade King 12 486]

Did you just refer to real-life couples as "Semes" and "ukes"?

No.

I'm sorry.

But.... No.

 

That's a huge stereotype that's usually untrue.

While there are couples where there's a masculine man and a feminine man, you shouldn't judge gay couples on their looks.

Gay men are very...dynamic, if you will. They can be two masculine dudes, or two feminine guys. The way they have sex isn't judged upon their 'feminism' or 'masculinity.'

 

For example, I'm with another female who is taller and dresses more masculine than I do. Does that mean that she would be "on top" if we were to have sex? Not necessarily. It all depends on preference.

 

Well I called my boyfriend 'seme' and he referred to me as 'Uke' and we do that for all of our gay friends, as many of our friends went into that sort of stereotype. I speak like that from experience and it's also an example. I never once said that all gay men are and women are like.

[Miku Hatsune 636]

Well I called my boyfriend 'seme' and he referred to me as 'Uke' and we do that for all of our gay friends, as many of our friends went into that sort of stereotype. I speak like that from experience and it's also an example. I never once said that all gay men are and women are like.

 

You have to understand that it's a stereotype. And most other gay people don't like to be called "semes" and "ukes." (Mostly because they have no clue what it means, lol.)

I don't really care about what your circle of friends do, because that's up to what you want to do, but I'm just saying, the yaoi stereotype is a huge misconception of the homosexual community.