I'm done

[Koko 3,944]

It's pretty sad to think that I honestly wouldn't give a shit if my parents were to die right now.

It's come to a point where I can not stand them. I can not stand living with them. To the point I just truly hate them and don't accept them as my parents.

And no I'm not just rebelling and I'm not overreacting.

I hate them and I don't think I'll ever love them again.

A mom? What's that? I never had one? The woman that was supposed to be my mother lived on her cell phone and hardly payed attention to me and would hide and act like nothing happened when my supposed dad threw a plate and struck me in the back of the head. This woman acts more like a child than I do even. I can't tell her one little thing without her crying or throwing an unnecessary bitch fit and blaming me for making her so miserable and saying how I'm ungrateful and how I'm never happy.

A dad? Don't know what that is. Unless you count a man who yells at you for every firetrucking mistake for everything you do that does not please him or he finds odd or weird or he just doesn't like. Unless you count a man who doesn't know when to stop and yells at you for hours and hours and you sit there waiting for him to stop until you firetrucking snap and you yell back at him because you weren't going to let him keep yelling at you like some freaking animal. Unless you count someone who throws a plate at you, who chased you down the hall just to hit you, who threatens to knock your teeth out every time you give him 'attitude' and still claims that you are ungrateful bitch and you must respect your parents.

Because my parents have given me everything. According to them.

Yes I have a house. Yes I have a bed and a laptop and clothes. And guess what? I also have parents that messed up and think yelling and crying and guilt tripping me will fix everything.

No. firetruck that. firetruck them. I am done with them. Once I'm out of the house I'm cutting all ties with them. They are not my parents and they never will be. My best friend's mom is a better mother. My friends are better at supporting me. My friends actually pay attention to me more than they do.

I am tired and I feel sick and I want to cry and scream and eat and puke.

And it sickens me even more that I go through this string of feelings almost every other firetrucking day.

 

I'm done.

I'm never going to be happy as long as I live under their roof.

I am done.

[Aqua7KH 5,395]

Koko i hope everything goes well untill you can leave. You are a extremely awesome person and i hope for the best!

we seriously need to talk some more sometime

ill be there for you man : D

[KingOFHearts 19]

Thats alot of firetrucking

[VENROXAS 152]

Oh man, Well a lot of people probebly shouldn't be parents and sounds like yours are like that, sorry though, Wish ya luck when your finnaly able to move out. Hope you can last till then koko, some advice idk if it will help but may or may not help is to just keep quiet around them unless they wanna talk to avoid some fights if possible at all.

[Sigrun 1,064]

i know how you feel. i hate my mom and dad. i dont love them either. i hope you can find your personal escape from them.

[LongTheHedgehog 36]

Right now when I'm posting this, my mom's friend's kids are literally banging on the door.

 

Someone who yells at you for every firetrucking mistake for everything you do that does not please him/her

 

Sounds like my mom.

[waytothexdawnx 1,159]

I wish I had some advice to give you. I usually know what to say, but I don't know you well enough, you know?

 

But I do hope you find some peace and happiness. You definitely deserve it, that's for sure. I know a lot of people, mainly close friends of mine, who hate their parents too (and for good reason, unfortunately). As hard as it is, always look on the positive side. You have amazing friends who love you and their families as well. You'll never be alone and you can always go to them when you need guidance, advice or just a place to go.

 

And you got us!

 

Hope you feel better, Koko

[LongTheHedgehog 36]

"FOR THE LOVE OF........MAMA LUIGI STOP BANGING ON THE DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" That's what I'm thinking. (I firetrucking hate them. I feel like exploding.)

[hatok 6,413]

Listen, Koko, you're not overreacting, you're doing the exact opposite. Everybody goes through this. It's one part growing up, and one part too much exposure to the same people. The parents you describe are essentially every bodies parents. Your friends parents seem better because you don't always see them. Your friends are best at supporting you because that's what friends are for.

And that's the key thing. Friends. Friends tend to be the ones who actually know about you, and care for you, and you've got to use that for all of its worth.

But you need to realize how much your parents have sacrificed for you. I know you don't want to hear something like that, but I'm speaking based on my sisters, who have recently reached the age where they start having kids. As soon as a kid arrives, their lives stop. Their dreams and aspirations are gone. They have to put everything on hold for about 20 years. And meanwhile, their kids are becoming more and more belligerent, and they have no idea why, and start blaming things.

So, I've got to say, you should at least learn to respect that sacrifice. How your parents are treating you isn't right, and I'm not trying to devalue what you're saying.

 

One last thing. I'm only two years older than you, according to your profile, so it feels odd saying this, but you're YOUNG. I was feeling eerily similar to you at that same age. Things change, hopefully you'll see more of the world, and get a better understanding of things, whatever your choices end up being.

 

Oh, but one last tip. Try to stay on good relations with your family. You never know when you might need a home to stay at, a shoulder to cry on, or some extra cash. My sisters learnt this the hard way.

[superbanana 230]

My parents are kind of like that too. Just pretend they don't exist unless you need a new video game. Parents are pretty much useless anyway.

[Always 309]

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I don't mean to point out the obvious, but if your parents are hitting you, you might want to tell someone about that. And of course, I don't just mean a friend, but an authority who could take corrective action. Not that I have anything against spanking kids for punishment, but if your parents are striking you on the head and throwing things at you, or otherwise hitting you in such a way that it leaves a mark for more than a minute or two, that's not cool, and it has to stop.

If you feel like that's the wrong way to resolve things, then I respect that. But don't forget it's an option.

Other than that, I agree with what hatok says. Yes, they have sacrificed a lot for you. Now, if they keep reminding you of that and saying how miserable their lives are because of their sacrifices for you, then that's just plain awful. But at the very least, like hatok said, try to stay on good terms with them, even if you have to fake it...if you just pretend you don't hate them for a little while, and give them respect, even if they don't necessarily deserve it, it could bring out a better side to them, and you may find that you don't have to pretend anymore. You just never know when you may need their help.

[4Everbee 1,365]

Don't know what to tell to LK but I'm sure things will get better!

[dusk 910]

I dont like my parents either much. They are always saying that i must concreate on studying although they both sucked at school and im one of the bests students on my class but when i do one mistake then its automatically that i play too much and playing is useless etc etc.

I have learned most of my english by playing games and still games are useless. Most i hate when they are saying that i should more like my brother who i hate most. He isnt even good at school but still just because he stopped playing games just because i was better than him....

[Weedanort 8,786]

They're still your parents.

You might say that you hate them and you never want to be with them again, but it's natural for humans to like their parents.

Same happens in the wild.

[Snow 1,800]

That is so firetrucked up. Even my dad doesn't throw plates. He always threatens to break my arms if I would ever tell the school that he hits me, which he does. Then he buys me a computer and video games just so he could shut me up, and then he yells and hits me that I'm never cleaning. Because apparently I never do. He just decides to look at what I missed and throw a big bitch fit about it. Then he sees me playing video games or on the computer and says to get the firetruck off it and clean it all over again. And when I do clean the way he wants, he says he's going to give me 20$. Never got a dime. You're lucky, though, you get to move out.

[Sora'sMum 352]

I hope everything's okay, sorry there's not much I can do, but try and remain strong and just do what's right.

 

I'd just also like to say that I find it sad that all these people are talking about their own domestic abuse stories over the internet to strangers. These are serious problems, and as hard as it is to tell people, other 'real' people need to know.

[Sora96 17,256]

Best of luck in this hard part of your life.

[Koko 3,944]

Listen, Koko, you're not overreacting, you're doing the exact opposite. Everybody goes through this. It's one part growing up, and one part too much exposure to the same people. The parents you describe are essentially every bodies parents. Your friends parents seem better because you don't always see them. Your friends are best at supporting you because that's what friends are for.

And that's the key thing. Friends. Friends tend to be the ones who actually know about you, and care for you, and you've got to use that for all of its worth.

But you need to realize how much your parents have sacrificed for you. I know you don't want to hear something like that, but I'm speaking based on my sisters, who have recently reached the age where they start having kids. As soon as a kid arrives, their lives stop. Their dreams and aspirations are gone. They have to put everything on hold for about 20 years. And meanwhile, their kids are becoming more and more belligerent, and they have no idea why, and start blaming things.

So, I've got to say, you should at least learn to respect that sacrifice. How your parents are treating you isn't right, and I'm not trying to devalue what you're saying.

 

One last thing. I'm only two years older than you, according to your profile, so it feels odd saying this, but you're YOUNG. I was feeling eerily similar to you at that same age. Things change, hopefully you'll see more of the world, and get a better understanding of things, whatever your choices end up being.

 

Oh, but one last tip. Try to stay on good relations with your family. You never know when you might need a home to stay at, a shoulder to cry on, or some extra cash. My sisters learnt this the hard way.

 

I know they have sacrificed a lot and I know I should respect them but I feel as if they hate me for making them give up their lives. Like, they make me feel like I should be sorry for being born. After all I was conceived like a month after they were married. Whether it was an accident or not, I don't know. But they seriously make me feel shit for being alive.

And it's not like it's all of a sudden either. I've been feeling like this since I was 10.

I understand what you're saying, but I can't put up with them. I haven't been able to for a long time. I'm always one step away from just running out the door and not coming back.

And everything just sucks because it feels like I'm not allowed to be happy. Like I won't allow myself as long as I'm with them. And it feels like I'm not allowed to be upset because of my parents. They literally throw a fit and yell at me for just being down. They don't try to make me feel better. They make me feel bad about being sad or upset in any form.

In the end they just make me feel like I don't deserve to live at all and everything I do is a mistake

[kalnet 1,198]

I wasn't there to really know your situation or experience it, but if you think what you're doing/thinking is right. Then yeah, Its your choice.

[hatok 6,413]

 

I know they have sacrificed a lot and I know I should respect them but I feel as if they hate me for making them give up their lives. Like, they make me feel like I should be sorry for being born. After all I was conceived like a month after they were married. Whether it was an accident or not, I don't know. But they seriously make me feel shit for being alive.

And it's not like it's all of a sudden either. I've been feeling like this since I was 10.

I understand what you're saying, but I can't put up with them. I haven't been able to for a long time. I'm always one step away from just running out the door and not coming back.

And everything just sucks because it feels like I'm not allowed to be happy. Like I won't allow myself as long as I'm with them. And it feels like I'm not allowed to be upset because of my parents. They literally throw a fit and yell at me for just being down. They don't try to make me feel better. They make me feel bad about being sad or upset in any form.

In the end they just make me feel like I don't deserve to live at all and everything I do is a mistake

 

You've got to make your own happiness if your parents have stopped giving it to you. But I have a question, how old are your parents?

[Lu Xun 2,069]

Dear Koko,

 

I feel so bad for you. But I know, if not fully, partly of what you're feeling. My parents have been divorced since I was two years old. My dad actually doesn't really care about me. He visits me like, 3 times a year. So, I can really say that I've grown without a dad. And my mom... She stays most of the time on the cell phone, talking with a stranger. Really, this began to happen when I was 5. But I live with her & my grandmother... She's like my dad and mom. I love her more than I love my mom... It's really sad, but it's the truth. She says that my mom's life was completely destroyed when my dad abandoned her... and that she has found "the cell phone" to replace him... I just can't understand that.

 

So, I can feel a bit of what you are feeling now. But I think that if they don't care about you, then neither should you care about them. But it seems to me that breaking any relation you have with them in the future goes a bit too far... Maybe you should just keep quiet, and forget that they are actually your parents. It's better to think it as a temporary thing, rather than permanent...

 

But I wish the best luck to you, during this hard time. Hope you manage to be happy some day again. I can't imagine you being sad So, again, Good Luck