KHBbS Dark Memory Translation (Vanitas' backstory)

[Oishii 3,987]

Birth by Sleep, Story 10: Dark Memory

Author: Tomoko Kanemaki

Original Plan: Tetsuya Nomura, Masaru Oka

Illustration: Shiro Amano

Translation: Oishii (oishii@oddsquad.org)

 

 

4 years before ---

 

Within that wasteland near the Keyblade Graveyard, Ventus was surrounded by a group of heartless.

 

Scared.

 

“Please don’t do this, Master! I’m not strong enough.”

 

Keyblade in hand, Ventus cried out in fright. From above, gazing down from the cliff’s edge, his master, Xehanort, stood watching. (rephrase/ too many commas)

 

This is impossible. I can’t beat them.

 

The heartless began closing in on Ventus. A black stain on the earth started to spread, from it 1, 2 new heartless appeared.

 

Why must I go through this when it’s hopeless?

 

Apprehensively, he seized the keyblade, his balmy palm moist with sweat.

 

“No, it is because you are trying to hold it in. Let the dark impulses waken in the pit of your heart. Release them, here and now! Sharpen your fear into rage! You must!” Xehanort shouted to Ventus.

 

I don’t understand. I don’t have it in me to do that. I can’t turn my fear into anger. I’m just scared.

 

“If you do not let the storm within you run its course, it will wipe you from the face of the world, make no mistake! Do it! Embrace the darkness! Produce for your master the X-blade!”

 

I can’t win. It’s impossible.

 

A heartless came in for an attack. Ventus barely managed to hold off the strike.

 

However, when they saw their chance, the heartless assaulted Ventus all at once. The black mass of heartless clung onto Ventus, his body dissappearing from sight.

 

It’s hopeless---.

 

“Ventus!” Xehanort shouted, jumping from the cliff while summoning his keyblade. One of the heartless vanished from sight.

 

When they heard Ventus’ name cried out, the heartless noticed Xehanort. Realizing he was the greater enemy, they lost interest in Ventus at once and surrounded Xehanort.

 

It was too late for Ventus, who collapsed with a thud and was unconscience. As his eyes closed, Xehanort preceeded to annihilate the gang of heartless.

 

After he brought down all the heartless, Xehanort slowly stepped toward Ventus’ collapsed form.

 

“Really? You would rather die than use the power? Feckless neophyte.”

 

Xehanort lightly kicked Ventus, turning his body over so he would be face up. For a moment he stared into his face while he thought. Coming to his decision, he once more summoned the keyblade and thrust it deep into Ventus’ chest. A light shot out from his chest and his eyes snapped open.

 

“If I must... I will extract the darkness from within you myself.”

 

Ventus’ chest emitted a bright light, from which rose a pitch black figure.

 

Within the large, dark egg-like sphere appeared a boy in a black combat suit and mask holding his knees like an infant.

 

Simultaneously, the light in Ventus’ eyes faded.

 

The boy slowly straighted his body. Landing on the ground, he gazed at Xehanort.

 

He didn’t know what kind of person this man was. Neither did he know who the figure lying on the ground was.

 

Looking at him, he felt a bit sad.

 

Why should I be sad?

 

“Empty creature from Ventus’ riven... to you, the name Vanitas shall be given.”

 

“Yes, Master.”

 

When hearing the reply from the masked boy he dubbed Vanitas, Xehanort laughed.

 

“Now --- I suppose I should go.”

 

“Where?”

 

“To take Ventus to his resting place. I will be back soon. Do whatever you like.”

 

With Ventus’ unconscience body in his arms, Xehanort walked away.

 

The strong winds blew through dreary land. Vanitas vacantly stared at his own feet. And then he looked up into the sky. The sky was overcast and dreary.

 

He stared at his hand. He firmly grasped with his fist. At once a large key appeared.

 

He swung it once. From inside his mask, Vanitas laughed.

 

Scared.

 

The fleeting emotion made Vanitas close his eyes. This is a memory from Ventus’ heart. And when I feel this white fear, a tremendous power is born.

 

So, the way Xehanort said it, my fear can grow into rage and then it becomes power. However, if this power is to be born from what I feel now, I’ll need something more.

 

Why is it when I was born I knew that?

 

A heart of darkness. A vessel of negative emotions.

 

From Vanitas’ body rose a dark figure. Vanitas silently looked up at the creature. The shadow like figure had two red eyes that glowed, a monster in the making.

 

“Unverse.”

 

When Vanitas raised his hand to grab it, as though it were enjoying itself, the unverse spun a circle around him.

 

This is my emotion. You could say it’s a very immature creature.

 

I suppose if you could call this a living thing, these inexperienced unverse are merely made of broken fragments of myself.

 

Vanitas summoned his keyblade swung downward at the unverse. In an instant the unversed vanished from the sudden strike.

 

Despicable.

 

With that thought, an agonizing pain throbbed in his chest. It was from the moment the unverse that was a broken piece of his being vanished. Vanitas gazed at the plams of his hands and then tightly closed them.

 

Lonely.

 

Again, from Vanitas back, an unverse weaved into being.

 

The wind blew against the vast plain. In the distance the sun was sinking into the horizon. From twilight the sun was moving into a dark night.

 

Who am I?

 

Vanitas couldn’t breath. He held onto his knees as the weight in his chest choked him. More unverse were born from his body.

 

Hurts.

 

Rendered in pain, Vanitas threw off his mask. The face that was revealed under the mask was no different from the unverse. His skin was the same deep black color of his body and his eyes were red.

 

Huh, where is this?

 

Upon hearing the voice, Vanitas abruptly narrowed his eyes, sensing a small feeling of wonder.

 

Everything around him was covered in darkness. He couldn’t see anything. Within the true darkness a small shimmer of light shined.

 

Vanitas was collapsed on the ground, his breath coming in shallow gasps.

 

What the hell is happening?

 

He couldn’t comprehend any of it. From the place he had sensed the voice, another sound, a sound like the wind, reached his ears. Is this the sound of waves? The beating of the tide? In the distance he could see a light. As the radiance of the light grew, Vanitas drew his body in tighter.

 

It’s time to wake up now ----- All we have to do is open the door.

 

When he heard that voice, Vanitas woke up from the nightmare and opened his eyes.

 

I get it. Something has roused Ventus.

 

Maybe, no, it’s not a mistake but a something unique.

 

His heart was fading, yet that lifeless shell got his heart back... ?

 

Why? Someone saved Ventus? Who?

 

Perhaps, just like him, it was someone born with a special heart.

 

This is the wasteland --- the sound of waves I heard. I didn’t hear that sound from him. Vanitas slightly shook his head. Feeling out of place, he put a hand to his mouth.

 

From a short while ago it was obvious that feeling was from a different world. That world ---- No, that boy himself..... did he change Ventus?

 

Now, as Vanitas casually stood up, his face no longer resembled the unverse. It had changed into a face of a young boy. A boy ---- 15 years later, would resemble the face a boy who would be known as a hero of light.

 

I can’t start on a new journey yet. From here I will continue on the path of darkness.

 

Vanitas, with the face of that boy, twisted into a smirk and he started to laugh.

 

 

 

 

 

Xehanort and Ventus returned to that barren land close to where the Keyblade Graveyard was. Dawn was breaking. Ventus walked, bathed in the morning light, but he was only dimly aware of his surroundings.

 

“What? You brought it back?”

 

With a smile on his face, Vanitas bent down to look into castdown eyes. In that moment, Ventus retreated from him. In his troubled state, he huddled himself close to the ground.

 

“Why?”

 

Vanitas kicked him from his behind. With a groan, Ventus tumbled to the ground.

 

If I’m not mistaken, even if this guy got his heart back, he’s still a useless shell of being.

 

Vanitas looked down at Ventus curled on the ground moaning.

 

Hate.

 

I detest him. Why I hate him so much I don’t know. Darkness began to swell from Vanitas’ back. An unverse was born.

 

“Oh ------ That....,” Xehanort spoke up upon seeing the unverse.

 

“Unverse. They’re monsters born from the fragments of my emotions.”

 

“Splendid.”

 

I don’t get what’s so splendid about it.

 

Irritated.

 

“Don’t do anything reckless, Vanitas.”

 

Xehanort stepped toward Ventus, glaring intently at Vanitas. His golden eyes emitted a faint glow.

 

“Reckless? Why? This guy is me. It’s the unverse that are splendid, isn’t it? You couldn’t just leave that guy to his sleep?

 

“The situation has changed. Ventus’ heart is now to an extent weaker.”

 

“Idiot,” he said over his shoulder.

 

It was apparent that Xehanort didn’t understand entirely what had happened to Ventus.

 

Ventus’s heart was replenished because of someone. But to Xehanort he only concluded that Ventus’ heart is weak.

 

I’m still not satisfied.

 

Surely this guy is half of who I am. But what is it that makes me still hate him?

 

“He’s a nuisance. I should get rid of him.”

 

The keyblade appeared in Vanitas’ hand.

 

“Wait. I don’t what you will become of you if destroy him.”

 

“ ----- then what now? If I have to endure being with that guy, eventually I’m going to eliminate him.”

 

Keeping his keyblade ready, Vanitas stared into Ventus’ face as it was distorted in pain.

 

“If that’s the case, I know of a place that’s just right for him.”

 

“Where are you going to take him? You act like this guy is so importance,” Vanitas ridiculed.

 

“So are you. Right now Ventus existance is vital for my plan.”

 

“Plan---- huh?”

 

 

 

 

 

Without waiting for him to affirm or deny this, Vanitas stared at Xehanort while he summoned his keyblade away. I couldn’t care less how Xehanort plans to use him. From the memories Ventus left within me, Ventus never seemed to respect this low grade Xehanort for the master he is. But I’m different.

 

“Do as you wish, Master,” Vanitas declared, turning his back on them as he walked away.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“To get some peace of mind, if I can find it in this world.”

 

Behind Vanitas, the unverse soon followed a short distance behind him.

 

What do I do to get rid of this frustration? What was I born to do?

 

Bearing with his temper, Vanitas frowned. Will the day I solve this problem come?

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Ventus’ heart was broken, I took him to a peaceful place where he was supposed to rest. My former birthplace --- the shores I abandoned. Destiny Island.

 

Why I remembered that place I do not know. I never did return there, but not a single thing has changed.

 

Hearing the sound of that place, such a boring world.

 

If it was there, I had expected that Ventus would have had a peaceful sleep.

 

However, just when I thought Ventus could never wake up, he raised the keyblade toward the sky. That heart of light I thought was shattered didn’t vanish.

 

In that case, what remains of Ventus’ heart of light and the heart of darkness Vanitas bares, I will raise these hearts so they may one day cross over and bring about the X-blade.

 

However, on that occasion I returned to Vanitas in that wasteland, their contact caused Ventus to lose consciousness once more.

 

It would seem that Vanitas’ heart is too strong for me to raise the two concurrently.

 

Be that the case, by what means I can accomplish this myself was lost.

 

Ventus will be raised in another place.

 

For that, it should be a place that could raise him to believe that light is absolute. My old friend, the true successor of our keyblade master, to him I will leave the child.

 

Thus, in that moment Xehanort took Ventus to his former training grounds and looked up at the castle there.

 

The land he set off to, that special place guarded by the master’s true successor ---- it was in the same place he had trained with his former friend that his friend still remained.

 

This is also the first time I have returned to this place since I started my journey. It’s no wonder. I don’t even know how many years it’s been since I had left my birthplace. To have met Ventus after making this journey, was it destiny?

 

And yet that Ventus still doesn’t act with a distinct personality but stands there because I told him to.

 

“Let’s go.”

 

He didn’t answer. Instead, he began to walk following close behind.

 

Xehanort opened the door. Realizing he had company, Eraqus came down the stairs to meet Xehanort.

 

“Xehanort.....”

 

“It has been a while, Eraqus. I have a favor to ask.”

 

“-----Let’s go inside to talk.”

 

At Eraqus’ words, Xehanort nodded and started to walk. Eraqus followed shortly behind.

 

“What on Earth did you come here to ask me for, Xehanort?”

 

He looked behind him into the scarred face of his former friend. Xehanort gave him that wound when he had abandoned this world.

 

“That boy ------ Ventus. I wish to leave him in your care.”

 

“What in the world do you mean?”

 

At his question, Xehanort silently shook his head.

 

“I’ve made a mistake, Eraqus. When I was persuing the X-blade, the moment I was about to create it, I damaged Ventus’ heart. Not only has he lost his memories, he’s become like an empty shell. Now when I look at what I’ve done to Ventus, I am heart-broken. I am too old. I don’t think I can bear this guilty conscious for much longer.”

 

Going so far as to open his heart, Xehanort gripped Eraqus’ hand and continued while looking into his face.

 

“That child is my sin. For this reason, I wish to leave him with someone like you who is full of light. Someday I want to put an end to the my past self that is obsessed with darkness and seeks to know the truth about the X-blade. Eraqus, please listen to the request of an old man. This is your world. I need redemption for what I did to that boy. I will try and live quietly in the corner of another world.”

 

“Xehanort......” Eraqus’ voice rose with gratification.

 

“My request, couldn’t you fulfill this for me, Eraqus, my friend.”

 

At that moment, a screaming voice echoed from outside. Ventus’ voice.

 

What in the world has happened?

 

With a nod to one another, Xehanort and Eraqus made their way out the door.

 

Ventus was crouched to the ground in distress. Two others - probably Eraqus’ pupils - stood anxiously over him.

 

“What did you do?" Eraqus called, his voice mingled with reproach.

 

Xehanort walked past the two pupils and lifted Ventus from the ground. His body was limp, his uncouncious form the same as when he was in contact with Vanitas.

 

“Nothing. I just asked him some stuff---”

 

The male pupil’s spoke as if very uneasy. He felt something from him, a slight darkness. It reminded him of when he had once studied with his former friend Eraqus. The feeling was faint and he wasn’t sure if he was making too much out of it.

 

“Ventus cannot tell you anything because he cannot remember anything,” Eraqus said.

 

“Xehanort, I will grant your request. I will properly look after Ventus.”

 

“----My friend.... No, my brother. You have my gratitude.”

 

Eraqus kneeled in front of Xehanort and gingerly lifted Ventus in his arms.

 

“Terra, take Ventus into a vacant room to rest.”

 

“Yes, Master Eraqus.”

 

Eraqus handed over Ventus to the male pupil --- Terra. Terra appeared kind hearted, looking into the uneasy expression on Ventus’ face.

 

This feeling, I since this young man has a desire for power. That obsession will bring about darkness in his heart.

 

Therefore, his body would be suitable to use as my own vessel.

 

I set out looking for a vessel, and again I’ve discovered someone I can use ---.

 

Originally he had planned to use Ventus as a vessel and discard his old body.

 

However, Ventus was too gentle. Such indulgent kindness made him weak. So he extracted the darkness from him, dividing his heart to one of pure light and one of darkness.

 

It was apparent that he had more than just one goal in mind.

 

So that he could live forever, he would obtain a yound body as well as the X-blade.

 

“I’ve laid him in bed.”

 

“Aqua, if you will.”

 

The female student --- Aqua ran up the stairs. From behind, Terra, the boy who had taken the broken Ventus in his arms, followed after her.

 

After watching those two leave, Eraqus turned his attention to Xehanort. For a moment, Eraqus closed his eyes and stroked the scar on his cheek remembering the past. And then a gentle smile rose to his face as he said, “I look forward to the day we will speak with each other again, Xehanort.”

 

“Ah, I also look forward to it,” Xehanort replied and laughed leisurely.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think I felt Ventus’ heart flutter and suddenly come to a stop. At the same time, the constant harsh winds in that world started to abide. Vanitas looked into the sky.

 

Again, the situation has changed --- did Xehanort do something?

 

I’ve been thinking about Xehanort’s “plan” ever since he mentioned it.

 

For what reason was I born? To allow me to be born and then take Ventus away, what will he do from here?

 

Unsure.

 

When feeling uncertain about the obscure future, once again an unversed was born from his body.

 

As he watched the weak unverse stir, he became frustrated. Again, another unversed was born. When I look at those things all I see is my own weakness. It makes me uneasy and that, of course, makes another unverse.

 

From Vanitas’ hand he summoned the keyblade. He swung it at the shifting unverse. At the moment, a heavy pain struck in his body. Naturally since he had destroyed the unverse, two more were created.

 

Vanitas wielded his keyblade against the other unverse.

 

Won’t vanish.

 

Give up.

 

Pain.

 

Hate.

 

From his many emotions his pain flowed together and streamed out of him. The more the darkness flows from me, the more my pain comes together to create a new unverse. The more unverse I destroy, the stronger I become. In short, it appears that the more I hurt myself, the stronger I’ll become. The more and more powerful I am, the greater the unverse’s power will be.

 

The pain and hatred I suffer will make me stronger.

 

Being the darkness born from that guy I have the more difficult life. Why am I the only one going through this pain? Here I’m the only one being forced into this torture, yet what is he doing? He gets to sleep?

 

Jealous.

 

A noticably larger being rose from Vanitas’ back, becoming an enormous unverse.

 

The huge unverse fleed off somewhere.

 

Seeing the size of that creature, Vanitas bit the inside of his mouth, an as he did he could sense Ventus’ still heart open his eyes for a moment. But he couldn’t feel anything. Therefore, right now Ventus did not have any emotions he could feel.

 

If only I could be like that guy and not have to feel anything. If I used to be together with him, why were we seperated? It would probably be of some comfort if we were together. To think of how painful it is to be apart, I don’t want to live this way.

 

Envy.

 

I hate him. I hate Ventus.

 

These unverse that keep coming one by one are such a pain.

 

What the hell should I do? Can I escape from here?

 

 

 

 

 

And so everyday he kept moving in a lethargic way. Ventus’ heart didn’t wake up.

 

To distract himself from his boredom, Vanitas repeatedly destroyed the unverse. By destroying them, he would feel pain somewhere in his body. From that pain again he would hate the world --- and Ventus. From that hate, an unverse was born.

 

Hurts.

 

I keep going after unverse and killing them, but it does nothing but bring myself more agony.

 

Why am I hurting myself? Why won’t Ventus wake up?

 

Xehanort only watches me suffer.

 

Sometimes the pain makes me collapse to the desert floor. I fall unconscious. When I wake up, my cheeks are damp. Always being sad and lonely is tough. But I don’t know what is making me so sad and lonely. Because I don’t know, I keep destroying unverse.

 

I don’t know what else I should do. If I keep defeating the unverse, I won’t feel anything anymore.

 

Hatred will make me stronger. But, it’s hard.

 

I destroy unverse. I’m injured. My body is in agony.

 

He collapsed to the ground. Dust scattered around him.

 

“You really are amazing --- Vanitas,” Xehanort said as he walked toward Vanitas who groaned and struggled on the ground.

 

“Amazing? What’s so amazing?” Vanitas asked through his rough breathing. What would make me so amazing? Me, who hideous monsters are born from.

 

A strong stab of pain came over Vanitas and he cradled his body tightly. The pain was choking him.

 

“You should feel more and more pain,” Xehanort declared and turned to leave. From behind him, Vanitas rose slightly off the ground.

 

“---hate this.”

 

At the small mutter Xehanort turned to him.

 

“I hate this. Why am I the only one who has to suffer?”

 

Xehanort laughed at Vanitas’ words.

 

“Something funny?”

 

All I feel in my chest is pain and pain and more pain, he thought and tore the inside of his cheek.

 

Being like this, I’m tired of it.

 

“If that’s the case, if I show you how to end your anguish --- you will become the X-blade.”

 

“..... X-blade?” he repeated desperately.

 

“The stronger you become, in the same way Ventus will become stronger. When you two fight one another the X-blade will be forged. Then you --- no, the worlds will be set free from their suffering.”

 

Who cares if the worlds are freed from its suffering?

 

“For this to happen you must make your body and mind stronger, Vanitas.” After stating his desire, Xehanort turned his back to Vanitas.

 

If someday I become the X-blade, I will be freed from my suffering ---.

 

A goal --- a purpose. Within the darkness was a glimmer of light.

 

Why is he still sleeping?

 

And then, from far away --- very very far away, he felt Ventus’ heart stir slightly.

 

He’s still sleeping because of me --- but, I’m moving on a new path. So he will walk down this path too.

 

In order to become the X-blade.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

You may distibute this, just don't cut out the credits. The next chapter, Contrast, is what the title suggests. It goes between Ventus and Vanitas over the 4 years until BBS starts. I'll probably translate this chapter too because Vanitas' parts are really jarring... and there's cake x3

 

And sorry some of the sentences are clunky. I did my best

[Kishira 2,854]

"When Vanitas raised his hand to grab it, as though it were enjoying itself, the unverse spun a circle around him."

 

When I read that, I thought of the Unversed like a puppy........he killed the widdle puppy Unversed..... ;w;

[keystrike 145]

Poor Vanitas. I suppose that that is just the fate of a heart of pure darkness. I wish this was shown in the game.

 

By the way this made my day!

[Reiko009 3]

Thank you so much for translating the chapters, I'm sure i can speak for everyone that we really appreaciate it. Thanks again and i can wait to read Contrast.

[Oishii 3,987]

"When Vanitas raised his hand to grab it, as though it were enjoying itself, the unverse spun a circle around him."

 

When I read that, I thought of the Unversed like a puppy........he killed the widdle puppy Unversed..... ;w;

 

It doesn't help that many of the unversed are really cute. Vanitas would kill a puppy if it annoyed him enough. He's evil like that

Thank you so much for translating the chapters, I'm sure i can speak for everyone that we really appreaciate it. Thanks again and i can wait to read Contrast.

 

Thank you ^^ I didn't think anyone would care so much since theirs a summary of it, but to me the original is better. And I discovered that I really enjoy translating which made it all the more worth it.

[Kishira 2,854]

It doesn't help that many of the unversed are really cute. Vanitas would kill a puppy if it annoyed him enough. He's evil like that

 

Exactly! Floods are friggin adorable, it sucked having to kill um. T.T

Can't wait to read the rest! > <

[aubreyloveskh 16]

Thanks for this translation! i really enjoyed reading it! I read other summaries, but I like this more direct translation better. I feel so bad for vanitas.

[Rainfell 1]

can't wait to read more, I'm really enjoing reading it thanks for the translation! poor Vani http://kh13.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/smiley-cry.png

[XxVanitasXx 12]

*after reading* bravo bravo indeed

[Kinode 3,056]

Thank you for this, I remember looking everywhere for this chapter's translation; How did I miss yours!?

Pleasepleasepleaseplase translate the next one! : DDDD

[catmaster0116 2,676]

I read something like this before on livejournal but the one I read was simply a recount/summary of what happens to Vanitas. I really enjoyed reading yours since it gives a detailed translation of what happens from the novel rather than a summary.

 

Eitherway, I composed this song for Vanitas ~ I hope it goes well with this chapter

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBYU7JLWmLw

 

thanks again for your hard work!

[~RNSVCZ~ 0]

*cries on inside* oh my glob! and this is why vani will forever stay on my favorite evil people in Kh. >w< they should bring him back in KH3. Great Job translating!

[Gxmwp 28]

Where can I find the othe stories?

[Kirie 3,489]

What will we do without you Oishii x3

[PieLuvah 317]

Thank you so much for this.

[liamaru 294]

thanks i learned something today