oath of oblivion 2 Posted May 26, 2011 A business man has this girlfriend who is addicted to sex. He really loves her, and of course hes a guy so he doesn't mind it. Well because hes a business man he has to travel a lot for his job, so he had to go on a trip, but he was afraid his girl would cheat on him. So he went to an adult store in search of something for her to use. A clerk came up to him and asked him what he was looking for, he explained his situation and the clerk told him that he had just the perfect thing for him. He led the business man to the back of the store and pulled out a wooden box. He explained "alright, inside this box is a voodoo dick. All you gotta do it say voodoo dick whatever it is you want it too and open the box. Like this: Voodoo dick the door,"he opened the box and the dick jumped out and went over and started humping the door. "To get it back in all you gotta do is say voodoo dick back in the box." and the dick got back in. So the man bought it and took it home. He explained to his girlfriend that all she had to do when she got horny was tell the dick "voodoo dick my pussy" and it would do it. So he left and went on his trip. Not long after his girl got horny so she opened the box and said "voodoo dick my pussy" it jumped out and started giving it too her. Well after hours and hours of doing it, she realized she didnt know how to make it stop. So after trying and trying she got into her car and decided to go to the hospital, on the way she swerved all over the road. A passing cop saw this and pulled her over. The woman explained the situation and the cop scoffed and said "Hah...voodoo dick my ass" If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions! The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!" A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results, put on two coats A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump. Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." But the blonde insisted saying, "No. A bet's a bet." Then the redhead said "Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money." The blonde replied "Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!" A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?" A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied, "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer." what did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? Look grandpa! No hands! COMMENT!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Koko 3,944 Posted May 26, 2011 keep it in one thread please (: http://kh13.com/forum/topic/18092-funny-stuffs/ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
