FUNNY STUFFS!

[oath of oblivion 2]

There once was a little fat boy named billy. Billy was little but never had a curfew. But one night he had to sleep extra early like 7:00 p.m. When he was about to go to sleep he hears noises from his parents room. He looks thru the crack in the door and sees them DOING IT. He gets angry like uber angry and goes to his room to hatch a plan. later his parents hear noises in billys room. the dad goes to his room to check it out then he sees billy doing it with his grandma. then the dad all like WTH WTF OMG BILLY. Billy goes like ITS NOT FUNNY WHEN ITS UR MOMMY IS IT NOW.

 

 

so there was a little girl named daisy, one day she went to her mom and asked why her name was daisy. her mom said that because when she was born, a daisy petal fell on her head and so she was named daisy. daisy's sister rose, came in the room later and asked the same question. her mother replied, because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head, so we named you rose. the last of the children comes in and says " eh uh nana uh eh un na" the mom answers " whats that brick?"

 

 

a lady was prego with triplets.

while prego she got shot 3 times (i know thats not funny)

she later gave birth to 3 healthy babies...one boy and two girls

one day the 1st girl was going pee and a bullet fell out

so she went to her mom and said "mommy i was going pee and a bullet fell out'

the 2nd girl was going pee and a bullet fell out

so she went to her mom and said 'mommy i was going pee and a bullet fell ou'

the boy went pee and a bullet come out

so he went to his mom and said 'mommy i was going pee...'

she cut him off and said 'i know you were going pee and a bullet fell out'

so he the boys says 'no mommy..i was going pee and i shot the dog!'

 

 

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

 

One day a hippie gets a ride on a public bus and sees a hot young nun. He sits down next to her and promptly asks if she would like to have ***, to which she immediately says no and walks off the bus. The bus driver leans over and says “Hey guy I know how to get that nun to have *** with you…”

Naturally the hippie asks, and the bus driver tells him that every night at midnight the nun goes to an old graveyard to pray for god to forgive her for her past, and that he should dress up like god and tell the nun she will be forgiven if she has *** with you.

The hippie gives his thanks and runs to the nearest costume shop.

Later that evening the hippie gets ready for his big night and drives down to the graveyard and sees the nun praying, on her knees. He says “Behold, I have heard your prayers and you shall be forgiven if you have *** with me!”

The nun agrees but asks if they can have anal *** in order to keep her virginity. The hippie agrees and once they are finished the hippie jumps back and pulls off his mask and says “Surprise, its me the Hippie!”

The nun jumps up and pulls off her mask and says “Surprise, its me the bus driver!”

 

 

Why do black people have white palms?

Because there is a little bit of good in everyone

 

 

I am a percussionist and my section kept making mistakes, The conductor got really mad and proceeded to say, " When your too stupid to play an actual instrument, they give you two sticks put you in the back and call you a percussionist,"

After this, my friend said, " Yeah, and when you can't hold on to both sticks, they put you upfront and call you a conductor."

 

Obama, his wife, and Oprah were all flying to DC on a private jet. Obama goes "you know, I could throw a one-thousand dollar bill out the window and make someone very happy!" Then his wife said "well speaking of which, I could throw 10 hundred dollar bills out thewindow and make 10 people very happy." So Oprah goes "well, I could throw 100 10 dollar bills out and make 100 people very happy." The pilot rolled his eyes and looked at the co-pilot and said "They think they're so smart. You know I could throw all their asses out and make 52 million people very happy!"

[Space Cowboy 1,392]

 

Why do black people have white palms?

Because there is a little bit of good in everyone

 

[Bleach 309 1]

LMAO funny stuff man