Text Xemnas's Adventures In Real Life

[ObsidianEagle 103]

because i haven't started yet

 

i just got LoZ spirit tracks, so i'll do story after one of my 'addict sessions' where i just play on it for hours

 

hopefully i can tear myself away from zelda for a few mins to write some story

[ObsidianEagle 103]

STORY 6 - XEMNAS GOES TO JAIL

 

Xemnas: argh, that was the worst week of my after-life

Larxene: Why, what happened hunny-biggle-bubby-lubby-Xem-Xems?

Xemnas: Well i might as well snuggly-wuggly-buggly-biddy-boddy-lar-e-larxene

Larxene: Yes please hunny-squiggle-bunny-lover-happ-

Roxas: JUST TELL US WHAT HAPPENED!!!

Xemnas: fine, i'll show you on this conveniently placed HD ready high quality 82 inch black streamlined plasma TV with sky plus HD, Internet connection and a 2-year extended warranty, as well as a free pen with refillable cartridge and a novelty whoopee cusion branded with the sony logo, which can plug into the TV to amplify the noise through the highest quality 5.1 dolby pro logic II surround sound speakers fitted into the quality-ensured craftmanship for a space that can adapt itself for any speakers and/or cup holders and remote controller holders.

Roxas: ok....

Xemnas: so i will put this expert made blu-ray DVD of the whole adventure with special features and game (perfect for families and children under 12), playable in over 120 languages with subtitles and sign language provided for all. and i will put it into this new slimline sony PS3 with blu-ray player, over 500 playable games, plenty of online content and 160G of system storage space. sit back and enjoy.

*presses remote button and chair appears under roxas*

Xemnas: it has adjustable reclining, designed with memory foam for extra comfort and a multi-functional massage and vibration setting.

 

1 WEEK AGO, IN THE ALLEY THAT NEVER WAS

 

Drug Dealer: Psst, so you want some coke?

Xemnas: Ok! diet please, i'm slightly diabetic

Drug Dealer: ok...... here you go

*gives some powder in a bag and runs off*

Xemnas: urgh, this coke must be incredibly off-date! it's not even liquid anymore!

Police: Freeze! Nobody Move

Xemnas: but i'm the only one here

Police: exactly, so don't move! you're under arrest for being in volved in black market drug trading

Xemnas: well i know caffiene is a drug, but i don't think coke counts as drug trading

Police: could you please come with us

Xemnas: thank you for asking nicely, so yes i will.

 

THE NEXT DAY, IN THE JAIL THAT NEVER WAS

 

Xemnas: i can't believe i'm in jail, i'm gonna sue the coca cola company...

Policeman: Mr. Xemnas, you have visitors

Zexion: Hey Xemnas!

Lexaeus: We came to break you out!

Xemnas: great!

Lexaeus: but the policeman had to confiscate my big hammer after mauling the bars of someone who looked like you

Xemnas: damn you! you got anything Zexion?

Zexion: i tried to distract the policeman by making Emo Love with him, but all i got was a baby

Xemnas: gah, go away!

Lexaeus: what? you're so mean!

Zexion: yeah! *searches in pockets* damn, i'm out of eggs!

Policeman: you could borrow some of mine

Zexion: thanks!

*Pelts with eggs and runs off*

Xemnas: CHICKENS!!!

Police: well technichly baby chickens

Xemnas: please, there must be something to get me out of 5 years in here!

Police: well, you could pay the bail money

Xemnas: no one told me about that! how much is it?

Police: 2,000,000,000 Mica-Credits

Xemnas: that sounds expensive...

Police: oh sorry, i forgot the currency, that is the equivilent of 6 munny

Xemnas: i've got that! here it is *shoves munny in the policeman's hand then tries to walk off*

Police: i can't just let you go, you need to sign all this paperwork

Xemnas: fine...

 

6 DAYS LATER, AFTER ALL THE PAPER WORK WAS FINISHED

 

Xemnas: argh, that was the worst week of my after-life

Larxene: Why, what happened hunny-biggle-bubby-

Roxas: STOP THE VIDEO!!!

 

BACK IN THE DE-BRIEFING still funny ROOM

 

Roxas: god that last bit is sickening

Xemnas: oh well, i'll leave you here to watch the special features, enjoy!

Larxene: come on yummy-rummy-xemnas, we better hurry or we'll be late for zexions lesson on emo love

Xemnas: yeah, i bought a new luxury king-size double bed, complete with memory foam, and a specially lined mattress with exclusing linen-

Roxas: JUST STOP!!!!!

[RoxSox 3,593]

>_>

It better be.../shot

[ObsidianEagle 103]

it's been a while since story, so i'll do some more this week

[Sorage55 10]

Wow, I just read every story. GREAT JOB!