Lu Xun 2,069 Posted April 7, 2011 Make a character named Save I can't. You'll know later.. Some of you may already know. If you do, don't comment it here Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kalnet 1,198 Posted April 8, 2011 Awesome! When you start college, don't forget to write your own fiction book! it will be a hit! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingdomeHeartsStar15 0 Posted April 10, 2011 I LOVE IT! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MiontheDemon 71 Posted April 10, 2011 I like it make it a real book! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Final Hearts 69 12 Posted April 11, 2011 I like it make it a real book! I agree....if it was published i would be reading it hundred times over, without the interruptions of these replies. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Naroco 26 Posted April 11, 2011 I like it make it a real book! DOOOOOOO IT PLEASE!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zexion's_Lover_46 76 Posted April 11, 2011 It keeps getting better. Can't wait to chapter 13 you mean chapter 14...chapter 13 had two parts to it. Whoops typo Well, if it was a published book I'd be happy to read it again and again. It's interesting Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lu Xun 2,069 Posted April 11, 2011 Sorry for not posting this early.. I just didn't feel like doing it early.. So here is it 8D Is this new font cool? Chapter 14- How can the lies affect a person Evas and Tifah were talking in the Dream World when suddenly, a strong light covered the entire scenario and consequently, they got separated. In the place where Evas ended up, the light was beginning to disappear. When Evas opened her eyes, she saw the Castle, but it was a little different. The garden was burned, the entire construction was destroyed and there were skeletons on the ground. -What is this place? It can't be our castle.. Why? Who made this to Tifah's castle? -My daughter.. You've.. left.. Have I died for nothing? Won't you fight? You're a loser! I shouldn't have cared about you.. You are and you'll always be useless!- Evas' father suddenly appeared from the castle's rests. -No.. Father? Why.. I'm trying to save my friends and defeat Perlu.. -You won't ever surpass his strength! Even with the magical wand, you're nothing! I hope to never see you again! If I could return to the past, I'd stay at the castle, even knowing that you'd be probably dead by now!- After saying this, Evas' father suddenly disappeared into the shadows. -No.. How could my own father do this with me.. I need to.. get away from here..-While crying, Evas said this. -You won't, my dear. I, Master Tifah, won't allow it. I won't use any magic or attack, but my words'll make you ever regreat being born! -What? Tifah.. We need to get out from here! -HAHAHA! As if I wanted to escape with you! I've lied to you! Your mother died because of you! And your father.. it was because of you that he died as well! If I were you, I'd want to kill myself right now! -I can't.. I have a greater purporse.. I have to defeat Perlu! -As if you're able to defeat him! Don't get too excited just because of the wand! You're nothing! Absolutely nothing! I'll take my leave now, but you're going to regret everything later! HAHAHAHA!- After saying this, Tifah suddenly dissapeared just like Evas' father. Meanwhile, Tifah ended up in another way. The light was beginning to disappear, and the first thing she saw was her friend, Master Shin Zuy. -Shin Zuy? What are you doing in the Dream World? -You're not in the Dream Worl anymore. That light.. it was I who created it and saved you from there. -It can't be possible, there's no way you ca-- -STOP! Can't you see that, like always, I needed to baby-sit you. You couldn't get out from it alone, could you? I won't help you anymore, you can just have your li-- -Light's Swords!- A voice, from the sky, said these words and suddenly, swords appeared from nowhere and killed Shin Zuy in two blows. -Ahh... See what happened to me.. Just because I cared for you.. Ahhh.... -WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE? I JUST... DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS THE TRUE WORLD.. OR IT'S THE DREAM WORLD... I need to know... From the rests of Master Shin Zuy's body, some strange creatures with a star shaped mark on it's head appeared. Some were weak like the Uyt, but others were quite strong like the Ytres. -What? How can those creatures come from my friend?Flame Wave! However, they just keep coming. There were no limits for how many of them there were in that place. Even then, Tifah didn't give up and stayed fighting until the bitter end. -There's no limit for them.. Only a miracle can save me! Hope someone manages to do it... At the same time, Phapy, Tuvo, Myez and Joshy were already in the North Forest. Unfortunately, Tuvo didn't feel well and decided to stop for a while. The other three continued to walk. -I'm not feeling well... Can you go without me for a while? I'll catch up with you later!- Tuvo said this to the others. -I don't think it's safe..-Joshy replied. -Leave him.. No protests Phapy.. Me, you and Joshy need to get to there quickly. That's the only way that I have to get revenge on Math..- Myez said this to the others. -Okay.. Let's go Joshy. Tuvo stayed behind while they continued to walk. Some time after walking, they saw a cave which was very dark. That was proof that Hertad was hidden there. -This is it..! Be prepared for anything! Phapy and Joshy, I'll go in the front. You guys back me up, okay?-Myez asked. -Yes, we'll.-Both of them replied at the same time. Much to their surprise, Math appeared near Myez. He began to talk with him. Filled with anger, Myez almost attacked him, but soon remembered that, for now, he was immortal. -Hahaha! Little bro. What are you up to? You don't want to hurt my best friend, do you?-Math asked. -I don't want.. I will! Sword S-- Oh no! That won't hurt him! -Getting a brain, are we? You've been learning a lot! -Phapy and Joshy. You two need to get Hertad. I'll take care of my brother! Don't forget; just kill his �best friend� and then I'll be able to defeat him!- Myez instructed Phapy and Joshy to go and forget about Math. -Okay! We will- Both of them accepted Myez's suggestion. After saying this, they ran to the inner part of the cave. -Oh.. You want to stay alone with your old bro? How strange.. I always thought that I loved you more than you loved me.. But I was wrong. So, while we're here, Perlu is torturing Evas and Tifah.. It's so fun! I wanted to stay watching.. but this stuff is really important to me.. -What? He is torturing them? No.. They will become crazy if they stay at the Dream World for much time! I have to beat you!!! -How? Little bro.. I was always stronger than you. Did you forget that? What'll happen in the next chapter? Will the group manage to defeat Hertad and Math? Will Evas and Tifah manage to escape from their torture? Find out soon! 2 Xlllroxas and Akihiko reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zexion's_Lover_46 76 Posted April 11, 2011 It's ok if you didn't post the chapter up here sooner. There is no need to rush but I'm glad that it's up now. I LOVE this story. It's so suspenseful. Keep up the good work :D :D Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rikunobodyxiii 700 Posted April 11, 2011 You got to hate it when your dead father comes to you and says "Loser." *thumbs up* 1 Lu Xun reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Final Hearts 69 12 Posted April 11, 2011 OH...man, that was entertainingly interesting. Very good...and i like the new font. it seems to me that the dream world is a nasty place to be in. how will they ever get out? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Naroco 26 Posted April 11, 2011 It's good but i was wondering... Wheres Mark Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Infinity000 0 Posted April 12, 2011 This is one of the best in the site nice job Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bobo337 0 Posted April 12, 2011 This Is GREAT! keep up the good work. And i also thought the - instead of "" were confusing at first, but now i think they are easier to understand. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
replika13 455 Posted April 13, 2011 put there boy named varun(it means water god). i have this name already in my book Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingdomeHeartsStar15 0 Posted April 13, 2011 I love how the story is going Me! i love your picture ai enma.......and Me I LOVE YOUR STORY Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingdomeHeartsStar15 0 Posted April 13, 2011 I ABSOLUTELY LOVED YOUR STORY! <3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lu Xun 2,069 Posted April 14, 2011 Chapter 15- Death, the only thing that we can't overcome While running with Phapy, Joshy decided to return. He was really worried about Myez. -I'm sorry Phapy. I need to go help him! We'll see you later!-After saying this, Joshy began to run. -What? I'll have to face Hertad alone?? Shh.. Am I afraid? No need, I just have to save Yufy and everything will be back to normal, hopefully.- Said this, he began to walk for the inner part of the cave. Meanwhile, Math was still having a conversation with his young brother, Myez. This time, he wasn't wanting to play. -So.. won't you attack me, Myez?- Math asked. -Not now..-Myez replied. -Oh.. I see.. You really think that your �friends� will be capable of defeating my friend? Hahaha! As if! You're so stupid.. Oh, look.. The boy's coming.. -What? -Thanks Goodness! Myez, are you fine?- Joshy asked. -Yes, I'm. You shouldn't be here! -I have to..You're my friend after all! -This is so beautiful. When are you two going to kiss each other? Haha! Oh forgot, this is not a romance movie. Play time is ended. Darkness Wave!-After saying this, Math used darkness in Myez's directions, but Joshy jumped to save his friend. -Why Joshy?-Myez asked. -Because.. You're my friend..-Joshy was too weak to say anything more. -Now, no one is here to save you. Not mom, not daddy, not that boy.. What are you going to do? -Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Flame Wave! -Oww! Hahaha! Forgot? Regenation, baby. At the same moment, Tuvo decided to enter in the cave, but he saw a secret entrance and decided to enter on it. -What? I'm sure that it'll lead me to somewhere! No problem in looking what's inside, right?-Tuvo thought to himself. After walking a little, he saw Hetrad walking but manage to hide from him. He couldn't attack him alone. Phapy arrived at the same time, but he was in the other side. -What? Hetrad... I need to kill you!- Tuvo thought to himself. -What is taking so long? I want to have some fun.. Math can't kill everyone of them...-Hetrad said this. Moments later, Tuvo saw Yufy who was immobilized, but managed to say these words : � It's a trap, run!!� -Oh.. Too late! Rope of darkness!-Hetrad heard Yufy's voice and got Tuvo. -What? How did you�Tuvo asked -Shhh! Silence!-Hetrad put his old knife at Tuvo's mouth. -Let them go! Water explosioooon!-Phapy ran and used magic against Hetrad. Hetrad was forced to let Tuvo go or he would be hit by the magic. Tuvo ran and managed to bring Yufy to Phapy's side. However, Gera, Hetrad's wife, appeared to help her husband. -Having trouble, my beloved?-Gera asked. -Not much. I can take care of them... Phapy knows how I can use my powers to infiltrate in someone's mind and make them crazy! -You-- You still have that power?-Tuvo asked. -Of course. I didn't die, did I? -Not yet Hetrad. But you'll now.. Tuvo.. promise me something.. Will you take care of Yufy and Joshy?-Phapy asked to Tuvo. -What? Why? You'll be with me all the time! -I'm sorry.. I can't.. Sacrifice of the two Serpents!-Phapy said this and both him and Hetrad began to fly, but not manage to control it. -What? You fool! You'll die too!-Hetrad said this to Phapy. -Wait my dear!-Gera was about to run when Tuvo stopped her. -No! You won't interfere! -Tuvo.. Thank you so much! You've been my best friend in this life! Say to the others that I'm doing this for their safety! -Nooooooooo! I don't want you to--- -If I do not, then we'll all die... Serpent's END!-After saying this, a strange but not real serpent appeared and killed both Phapy and Hetrad. Without life, their bodies fell on the ground. -No.. Phapy...-Crying, Tuvo began to remember him and Phapy were great friends.. -MY HUSBAND!! NOOO! I can't do anything.. it's better if I flee!-Gera said this. Then, Gera opened a dark portal and exited the cave. Tuvo was still crying because him and Phapy were really close. Almost brothers. However, he knew that he was right; if he didn't sacrifice himself, Hetrad might have used his mind control powers and turned them one against the other. Meanwhile, Master Shin Zuy had already sent his dark monsters to Perlu's castle. Varun, one of Perlu's soldiers, arrived at his chamber and said that there were monsters attacking the castle. Because of that, Perlu lost his concentration and the Dream World returned to normal. Evas and Tifah were together again. -Sir, I'm sorry to bother you, but there are some monsters attacking the castle-- They already passed though the 1st defense level.. -Arrrgg.. Ok then! I'll go destroy them. In the Dream World, Evas and Tifah finally met again. They talked about what had happened, and at first, Evas didn't believe that Tifah was the real Tifah. What's happening? Tifah, are you here? -Yes, Evas. -Don't badmouth me again, pleaseeeeee! -I wouldn't badmouth you, never! -So.. it's really you, Tifah! How it was hard and sad.. I saw my dad.. he said bad things to me.. I cried so much.. -Don't worry, we're together now. If this hadn't happened, I might have been defeated by some creepy creatures that attacked me. -Thanks goodness you're safe! At the same time, in Shin Zuy's castle, he called Mark and said that this was the right time to attack the castle and save Evas and Tifah from the Dream World. -Soldier Mark. It's finally the time. This will be your task. If you manage to help me, and defeat Perlu's soldiers, then you'll turn to a Second Commander-- and also, you'll be helping me in further taks.. -Sir! I promise to not let you down! I have to face everything to earn your trust! That's my goal! -That's great to hear. Let's go, shall we? -At the same time, Master Shin Zuy opened a portal which leaded to the first floor of Perlu's castle. What'll happen next? Will Myez defeat Math? Will Master Shin Zuy and Mark rescue Evas and Tifah from the Dream World? Find out soon! 2 Zexion's_Lover_46 and Xlllroxas reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DarksideZero 3 Posted April 14, 2011 awesome when will we see the next one Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Final Hearts 69 12 Posted April 14, 2011 how sad...phapy and hetrad died. that turned out be the saddest part of the story. over all it was great chapter. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xlllroxas 4 Posted April 14, 2011 :lol: good work and good story too keep it up Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zexion's_Lover_46 76 Posted April 14, 2011 That was awesome brother. This is one of my favorite chapters so far. Wow, Gera came out of nowhere lol . Hmm, I wonder what will happen next now that Herad and Phapy are dead Can't wait until the next chapter. 2 Lu Xun and Master Keeper reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lu Xun 2,069 Posted April 15, 2011 Hello guys. It's great that you liked the last chapter. I'm here to announce that the next one will be posted tomorrow since I had to study a lot today. Don't forget to check it out tomorrow! 1 Master Keeper reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lu Xun 2,069 Posted April 15, 2011 As promised......... Chapter 16- Every dream has to end sometime At master Shin Zuy's castle, both him and Mark were about to attack Perlu's castle, which was in a real mess because of Shin Zuy's creatures attack. That way, it would be easier to find and defeat him once and for all. -Go, Mark! I'll depart after you. -Ok, master. Said that, they went through the portal and found themselves in the fist floor of Perlu's castle. There were two of his slaves fighting with some of the creatures. -You won't defeat them! Black Sword Explosion!-After that, the creatures were completely destroyed. -Good job Mark. Let's advance, I can sense it.. Perlu is really near.. maybe at the next floor. At the path to the second floor, they found a lot of Perlu's slaves and soldiers. Thankfully, they manage to defeat them without getting hurt. Just as Shin Zuy expected, Perlu was really in the next floor. They found him and began a conversation. -What are you doing here, old man? -Perlu asked. -I'm here to stop both you and your insanity!- Mark replied this. -I didn't ask you, idiot. Are you old, or are you just playing fool? -Arghhhhhh! Stop messing with me!-Mark said this to Perlu. -Nah.. I'll continue. And, Shin Zuy, these creatures are really weak.. With one hit, I can kill lots of them. Like this for instance; Dark Wave!- Some creatures near which were fighting with some of his slaves, were destroyed in moments after being hit by Perlu's magic. -Aren't you ashamed? I'd expect more from you, my dear. -Don't get mad, Mark. He was always like that.. Playing with people's minds and feelings.. Don't let that affect you.. -Yes, Master Shin-- At the same time, Mark saw a strange man trying to use some kind of powerful magic on his master direction. It was Varun who was trying to use a magical rite which could almost kill one person. -Water spirit of Draining Life!-Vanun finally used the magical rite aiming at Master Shin Zuy. -Nooooo!-After saying this, he pushed his Master and took all the damage on his place. -What? Why Mark? You didn't need to... -You're my master.. You taught me everything.How could I let you suffer such damage as this? -But...! I don't want you to get hurt as well, my best disciple. -You need to.... -Stop chatting! Come here old man!-Perlu said this to Shin Zuy who was trying to save Mark. -Creatures! Get him! Now!-After saying this, 10,000 creatures attacked Perlu.-Now, Mark, we need to get out of here.. or you'll die..! -Master... you need to.. make the sacrifice... -What? How can you say that? -I know that you're trying to save two people called Evas and Tifah.. Do it! -I won't! Let's get out of here! -If you won't... then I'll..-After saying this, Mark took a knife which was in his jacked and used it to kill himself. -Nooooooooooooooo! Mark.. Why?-Knowing that he would need to kill someone, he gave the last hit to end Mark's life. -I had to.. d..o...t..h i...s ...I love you as my own father...-After saying this, Mark finally closed his eyes which were destined to never open again. -"In order to flee, I killed a person. May the darkness hear my voice, and open a new path, so the prisoners can escape". -Dark Wave!-Perlu and Vanun were finally defeating the last creatures.-Now you're mine old man! -Magical Tornado!-Said this, a tornado appeared and made both him and Mark's body leave Perlu's castle to his own. -Aarghhhhh! The old man escaped again!-Perlu said to Vanun. -Shouldn't you be worried about another thing.. The Dream World? -Nooooooooooooo! They'll be free again! I'll have to think in a new plan... Damn that old man!!!! Meanwhile, in the Dream World, a gate of darkness was opening. Both Evas and Tifah were almost free from the Dream World. -Should we enter, Master Tifah? -Oh.. let me examine it.. Oh, surely.. Let's go! -Of course, Master! After entering on it, they finally arrived at Hetrad's cave where Tuvo was still crying, and Joshy, still fainted. -Where are we, Master? -I know this place.. It's... Hetrad's cave! -Who is that "Hetrad"? -It was him who used a spell to make Math's immortality.. I hate him so much.. I wonder why it's so quiet now.. Let's walk to the inner part, we may find something there! -As you want, Master Tifah. Walking a bit more, they finally found Tuvo. Their conversation was truly sad. -Tuvo! What are you doing here?-Tifah found Tuvo and ran to his direction with Evas right behind her. -Master Tifah? Evas? It's so good to see you... -Why are you crying?-Evas asked. -Phapy... he... he died! -Who killed him, Tuvo?-Tifah asked. -Nobody really killed him.. He used a sacrifice ritual and killed both himself and Hetrad..-Tuvo replied. -Where's my son, Joshy?-Evas asked. -He's with Myez.. They were fighti-- -MYEZ? NO!! I have to go to him!-Evas said this to Tuvo. -Wait!!! He's not bad anymore, he's cooperating with us.. But he and your son-- they're in trouble... They stood to fight Math... -Are they? I have to kill him! After all, he's not immortal anymore.-Tifah said this to Tuvo.-Where are they? -They're near the other entrance, you have to be quick. -Okay! Evas, accompany me, will you? -Of course, Master Tifah. -I'll catch you guys later!-Tuvo said this to Evas and Tifah. So, what'll happen with Math now? Will Evas and Tifah find him? Will Perlu make a new plan? Find those and others answers in the next chapters! 4 Leaxel, Zexion's_Lover_46, Master Keeper and 1 other reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites