Final Hearts 69 12 Posted March 28, 2011 Wow...to me it seems like it's getting dark...Keep up the good work. dark or not i will continue reading. You got me hooked on this story. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Naroco 26 Posted March 28, 2011 Keep going i love this really good Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 513 Posted March 28, 2011 I really like where this is going. 8D Keep it up~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Master Keeper 687 Posted March 29, 2011 WOW I liked this story keep going my friend !!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zexion's_Lover_46 76 Posted March 29, 2011 It was very good brother . You had a few spelling mistakes but I'll keep sending you the PMs for the corrections once I'm done posting my first chapter of my story which won't be too long now. I can't wait to read the next chapter. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
demy1077 56 Posted March 29, 2011 wow itis cool Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lu Xun 2,069 Posted March 29, 2011 Chapter 8 part 2- Lies, Plans and the Truth Tifah and the others finally found Tifah's spy, Tuvo, and leaded him to the other room where he could get his deserved nap. Tifah, Evas and Phapy were together in the Library. It was finally time to tell Evas everything about her past. Before saying anything, Tifah opened the secret pathway which leaded to the sacred room. There, she began to explain everything to Evas. -My dear... I've promised to your father that I would never tell you, but now... I'll have to break thar promise... Remember when I talked to you about Evol, which was supposed to be my husband? I lied. He wasn't, I was just one of his servants... If you link the pieces, you'll discover that Evol was-- -The King! The one who died during the war!- Surprised, Evas interrupted Tifah's explanation. -Yes, but besides that, he was.... he was your grandfather. -What ? Really? Could you tell me the entire story, I'm not getting the bigger picture. -Of course my dear. Thirty two years ago, there was a war, just like I've already told you. Before the war, your father, Evol's son, found a strange woman in the woods. She had wounds so your father used his magical abilities to heal her. However... with time, they began to have a relation, which was much more than a simple �friendship�, and your mother stayed pregnant. Nine months before the war, your mother and father arrived in the castle. Your father didn't live in this castle, he thought that while poor people could live in the street, he shouldn't be living in the luxury. Back to the point... Your mom was about to have you... so me and the others servants, we helped her. But- as you know- she died after some complications. To make the story worst, Dayla, your mom, was daughter of the other King. You can link the pieces again? -That...was the reason for the war?-Evas replied. -Yes... the war was really terrible... Me and Yufy, we stayed hidden in here, the sacred room. At that time, I began to study the arts of magic.. and here I'm. I can't tell more to you now, but there's one sentence that you need to �memorize�: Everything is connected, somehow. Don't think of you as a lucky or a person which bad events happened to, think that it's the destiny's power. -I need to go think about this... It's just... too complex...- Shocked, Evas ran away from the Library to her room. -Master Tifah, you've forgotten some things.- For the first time, Phapy said something at this conversation. -I didn't forget.. It's not yet the time.. I just said this thing because Perlu already tried to make contact.. Knowing him, he would use that to make she rebels against us. -Oh, yes.. I'm going to see Yufy.. Will you go as well? -Yes, I will. My pupil must be needing me to watch over him. Secretly, Joshy heard the entire conversation from the other door. Shocked, he ran to his room and began to train with his sword so he wouldn't be remembering that every time. Meanwhile, Perlu had already decided about what his next step would be; he would invade Evas' mind and say that Shin Zuy was the one who was commanding and forcing him to do everything bad. That way, she would turn against the old man, and a great battle, begin. -Evas, I'm so sorry, please! Forgive me!!!-Perlu's voice screamed these words at Evas' head. -What? Where are you? Stop lying!-Evas replied. -I'm not.. I swear.. It's that old man's fault, Shin Zuy... He forced me to do this to you.. I can't defeat him so I'm his slave until someone can finally free me... Can't you do it? PLEASE, EVAS! I'M IN THE GOOD SIDE!!!!I swear!- Perlu said those lies while pretending to be crying. -Is that true? Where is he? I can't help but see if this is really a lie or not. -He lives in the depths of the darkness... In the cave of the horrors... With your wand, you'll easily find him.Don't worry.. But plase, help me! -I'll see what I can do.. Stop calling me using your magic!-Evas accepted but wasn't completely convinced. -I'll. But if you need help, just think and I'll be hearing it. Thank you so much ! After stopping the mind connection, Perlu laughed so much that one of his slaves thought that he was crying. Now, Evas would try to find the old man while he could search and kill Myez. At the same time, Myez was thinking about his entire life. What was his life's purpose? What's he supposed to do? Is he doing everything right? His past was completely bad. With it, he could do a movie. -I remember.. those Kings.. because of them.. my parents.. they're dead.... I'll get revenge no matter what! During that stupid war.. My mom died because of an ill and my father, who fought bravely, died in Math's hands... I wonder where that rat is.. I'll have to add his name to my list.. Master Shin Zuy will also be useful to me.. Thanks to him, I'll get my revenge on one of the king's grandson, Perlu. And after his death, I'll kill that stupid woman and get the magical wand! Soon.. My parents.. Soon... This world will be mine to rule... I'll get my revenge for your deaths, I swear! -Myez thought about his true goals which were truly related to a childhood's trauma. The story now continues with Evas searching for Master Shin Zuy, Myez trying to get his revenge and Perlu,trying to destroy both Myez and Evas. But what about Math? Where could he be now? Find out in the next chapter! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stardustblade358 806 Posted March 29, 2011 This is really good. Can't wait for the next chapter. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Final Hearts 69 12 Posted March 30, 2011 Wow...that was a shocker! this is getting good...i can't wait until the next chapter comes out. keep it up and at one point you may actaully make me cry while reading. i wasn't expecting Tifah to come out like that and tell Evas the truth like that. that was a nice twist to the story. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zexion's_Lover_46 76 Posted March 30, 2011 Can't wait until the next chapter Perlu is a sly one isn't it. Also, I don't think I mentioned this before but I wanted to tell you that I like your choice of names for the characters. They're unique and different and names that you don't hear normally. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Omega15 12 Posted March 30, 2011 really good cant wait to read the other chapters u write Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zenithia 305 Posted March 30, 2011 tutti frutti. pretty good story definitely looking forward to future chapters of the story. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DarksideZero 3 Posted March 30, 2011 great story cant wait for the next chapter Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Master Keeper 687 Posted March 30, 2011 OMG !!!!!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER , EVERY CHAPTER MAKE ME EXCITED FOR THE NEXT, KEEP GOING MY FRIEND Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lu Xun 2,069 Posted March 31, 2011 Chapter 9- Choices Now, Evas was really confused about her last conversation with Perlu. Was he lying or not? Standing there wouldn't make she discover that answer. -Oh My God... What should I do? Perlu... you're lying?? Instantly, Perlu made another mind connection with her. This time, he pretended to be forcing to do that because of the Master Shin Zuy. -Evas, I'm sorry.. I've tried to resist from his pressure, but he is too strong- I had to do it. -I understand... But there's one thing I don't get...How can you be saying that if he is watching you? -He isn't, not now at least. He went to the bathroom. Well, I'll pretend that I'm forcing you to kill Myez, ok? -If that will save you from that man's rage, then do so.... -Hahaha! Evas you fool! You don't know anything! Get that Myez or I'll have to kill you HAHAHA! After that, the mind connection was stopped by Perlu. More than never, Evas was now more confused about if she should or not belive in Perlu. I just... don't know what to do.. I just hope to do the right thing.- Alone, Evas said these words in her room. -You will. I'm sure of it. -Suddenly, Tifah opened the door and said this to Evas. -How do you know, Master? -I just do my dear. You're so much like your father... Always thinking about the others.. You're really a person who cares about others. Kindness, it's something that nowadays only a few people have. Don't you agree with me? Here in this world, we don't see much violent things. But, in your world, the humans... they're just losing the best thing they had; their education. They've became rude, violent.. Most of them want only to make fun of the others... You're very special. -Thanks... You're very kind as well, master. -Well... so what is that thing which is troubling you so much? Can you tell it to me? -I think... I can't! You've said that you didn't say everything so I can't tell you yet! Don't ask thing again unless if you agree to reveal what you are still hiding from me!- Furious, Evas exited the room and headed for the castle's garden. -Oh... I know that Pelu's the one behind this entire mess! That crazy...!!! Now I will have to reconsider if I'll ter her sooner or later... I'll go see how Yufy is doing. Meanwhile, Tuvo was talking with Phapy who was extremely interested in knowing everything about Perlu's castle and soldiers. -How is the castle? Are there much soldiers? -The castle... it's just disgusting, not even a flash of light. You don't know how I was in there... so dizzy and strange... and yes, I'm afraid. We'll have a great battle ahead, and there's just a few allies that didn't reply yet... Maybe we'll have to find more people to our cause! -Maybe, Tuvo. I think that me, you, Tifah, Evas, Joshy and Yufy are enough to get Perlu.. but who knows.. maybe we'll have to get new people... Have you seen Joshy, Tuvo? -Yes, he is with Yufy. -Oh, ok. I'll go there and talk to my friend!- Phapy quickly ran to Yufy's room. -My God.. Please, help us in our future battles.. Moments later, Phapy finally arrived in Yufy's room which was really depressing. His little friend was asleep for days, and the son of Evas was just praying for Yufy's safety. -My God.. Please, help my friend. He is a good dwarf, he is, I'm sure of it. Please, I want my friend back! Hope you get better soon, Yufy. I know that God will hear my prayers. Huh? Were you watching me, Phapy? -Yes, I was. It's really good of you to pray for my friend! You've just met him and you are really kind to hi- -Your friend? OUR friend! He is really cool, you know. -I'm sorry, Joshy. Yes, he is OUR friend. Go, I'll stay here to look for him. -Thanks, Phapy. You are being very nice! -Happy, Joshy exited the room and headed for his own to take a good and deserved rest. -Oh, my friend.. I hope you open your eyes as soon as possible. In silence, Phapy decided to stay sited in a black chair while hoping to hear his friend's voice once again. At the same moment, Tifah was trying to make contact with another ally, Smeli who didn't reply to any of her attempts. -I'm getting really worried! What's happening? I guess I'll have to tell the rest to Evas now... However, sadly, Evas made her mind and while in the garden, she decided to go to the forest and began her search for the old man alone. Taking her wand and the book, she ran away to the forest. Thankfully, Tuvo saw her and screamed her name. Unfortunately, she didn't hear it and Tuvo began to search for Tifah. -Master Tifah! Master Tifah! -What is it? -Evas... she left the castle! And she left on her own! -Oh no! Tuvo, we will follow her. Phapy and Joshy can stay patrolling the castle! Let's go! Later, Myez was walking in a cave when he heard a voice. It was familiar to him but he couldn't remember whose voice was it. -Hey, loser...-The voice said. -Who are you? Where are you?-Myez asked. -I'm in the darkness.. My soul has been eaten by it, fully consumed...Can you tell who I am now?-The voice replied. -No! Impossible! You're.. You're- -Yes, I'm Math. What's the problem of seeing me here? Is that so strange? -What? Your sentence was to stay 32 years in the jail, so how can you be free- -Idiot. How many years Evas has? 32, right? -Oh yes.. You're finally free... So now I can get my first revenge for my parents! Prepare to die! -Come, Myez. Or should I say, come my little brother! -What? Math, what are you talking about? Meanwhile, the old master, Shin Zuy was thinking to himself about what would he do in this war. -Hm.. This is pretty interesting... 32 years ago... It's beginning again... The two grandsons of the old kings... This is really no coincidence. But at which side should I stay? In the other war, I've decided to stay neutral, but this time, things are worse than in the past... Hm.. I need to think for more time.. Only time will tell me.. Is Evas or Perlu right? Or, are both of them wrong? What will happen between Math and Myez? Will Evas find Shin Zuy? Will Tifah and Tuvo be able to find Evas in time? Will Yufy get better soon? Will Perlu's plan manage to obtain success this time? Find out in the next chapter! Battles are about to come, be ready for more action! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
terraxaqua34 98 Posted March 31, 2011 Wow. Just wow. This is getting so good! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Final Hearts 69 12 Posted March 31, 2011 'be ready for more action'? 'Me' I've been ready for some more action in this book. I think that Math and Myez will have a conversation during their fight. Evas will not find be able to find Shin Zuy and thatTifa and tuvo will find Evas in time to save Shin Zuy. Yufy will be better, but not well enough to fight...and Perlu's plan will FAIL again. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lt Ultima 82 Posted March 31, 2011 im impressed Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tari Kancheewa 1 Posted March 31, 2011 cool, i love it!!! more please!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
got it memorized 3 Posted March 31, 2011 quite impressive thus far. i'm interested in seeing more. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rikunobodyxiii 700 Posted March 31, 2011 Looking good so far. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zexion's_Lover_46 76 Posted March 31, 2011 I'm really liking this story. Keep up the good work. I can't wait until chapter 10 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Iamkingdomhearts1000 1,170 Posted March 31, 2011 is the story related to kingdom hearts? or something else? or is it original? p.s is it possible i can make a request and did you base eva's name from parasite eve? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
luai123 0 Posted March 31, 2011 very nice story , keep it up !! :D Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HeartofFire 10 Posted March 31, 2011 Very nice! Love the magic. ^^ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
