Is being Gay/Bi a choice or are you born with it?

[Amon 4,279]

Ah one of the major debates of the 21st century. I'm surprised that I didn't find this thread already when searching for it.

 

So is it a choice or are people born with it? I'm straight so I wouldn't know very well. My guess is that your born with it because I know several guys who were very effeminate ("girly") when they were young and later turned out to be Gay/Bi.

 

What do you think. Please take the poll and leave your thoughts.

[ObsidianEagle 103]

well, if you don't want to be gay, you don't have to be.

 

however if you're attracted to people of the same gender, thats just instinct for you.

[Kinode 3,056]

I think it depends on your expiriences, but you aren't either born with it nor do you chose it. it kinda can change, depending on what other people say about you, too. that's what I think

Per example, I'm not even sure if I'm straight or gay anymore. So many people think I'm gay, that I even found myself looking at some boys, a few times.

[Eterna 274]

Born with it, I dated a Woman and she was nice enough, but I could never feel sexual attraction for her.

 

In seventh Grade my friends would point out girls they thought were cute, I'd point out boys and say "Hey, wouldn't he be cute as a girl?"

[Amon 4,279]

 

 

In seventh Grade my friends would point out girls they thought were cute, I'd point out boys and say "Hey, wouldn't he be cute as a girl?"

 

 

This quote, is the new meaning of life.

[Koko 3,944]

well, you're born with it. i mean, you've all heard of gays being bullied and ect.? why would anyone chose to be gay if they know they'll be bullied, picked on, just because they like their same sex or both sexes.

[dancinmoonlight 12]

Hmmm i honstely dont know with am straight biosexual gay or trisexual (means you like male female and animal) i dont know but i guess i will soon find out

[ObsidianEagle 103]

Hmmm i honstely dont know with am straight biosexual gay or trisexual (means you like male female and animal) i dont know but i guess i will soon find out

 

animals?

thats disgusting, and probably illegal

[Koko 3,944]

since were animals considered another gender/sex....? they're a totally different species lol

[ObsidianEagle 103]

and animals are male and female too.

[Think Pink 1,967]

I think it's a choice more than something you're born with. I think if you're born with it, then suicide bombers, bullies, ect. are born that way. So, yeah, I think it's a choice. I really wouldn't know, though. I've honestly never felt a true attraction to either sex. I am still thirteen, though. Meh, just my opinion.

[Protoman 1,974]

If I knew enough studies, then I would know.

I think it depends on what environment you live in, as well as what you were born with.

People can chose to be gay and people can be born gay, thats just what happens. Or at least, that's what I think. As I said, I don't know all the studies they have done on the subject, so it's hard to say.

[Rosie 3]

Okay, first off, trisexual isn't a term in that sense. Animals don't count as another sex, so to speak- being sexually attracted to them is more of beastality.

 

And I honestly don't think it's a conscious choice, not at all. You don't suddenly decide you feel like being gay, or bi, just for the sake of it.

 

I think I read something from Maureen Johnson a few weeks ago that just spoke volumes. She said something along the lines of homosexuality (along with everything aside of heterosexuality) not really being a choice, but not a biological problem like people suggested when she said that- she said that it was a flaw in the way that being straight is a flaw, or tall, or short or blonde or brunette... In the way it was genetic, natural.

 

And then it was something along the lines of being gay not being a choice, but that being homophobic was, and that it was a bad one.

 

I love her, really, because she voiced my entire viewpoint.<3

[Zexion's_Lover_46 76]

I believe I was born with me being trisexual. And, I know that trisexual really isn't a term for loving male, female, and animals it's just easier for me to use . But I'm attracted to male, female, and animals. I thought I was straight up until middle school or so and then I realized that I'm really attracted to girls. I found out the one of my best friends was bi and I actually asked her out on a date because I really loved her. Her personality, her looks, everything. And beastiality is illegal but I don't feel like it's disgusting, it's just something that really isn't natural so humans usually freak out about it. But you don't just choose to be gay. Or should I say, you don't choose the way you TRULY think about someone. For example, I didn't just go up to my bisexual best friend and say "oh I think I'm in love with you" just because I said it because I meant it and I can't change the fact that I meant it. I can't change the fact that I find girls and animals attractive like I do guys, it's just the way I think and feel. So, again, I really believe it's not a choice.

[Godot 513]

I think if you're born with it, then suicide bombers, bullies, ect. are born that way.

 

No offense (you know ilu), but that's a really bad comparison...sexuality isn't something you do; it's almost part of your personality. It can influence the things you do, but it isn't a physical action, like bullying or bombing.

 

Imo, it's about as much of a choice as being straight is. You don't wake up one morning and decide you're going to be gay or bi or whatever sexuality you want. It's something you start to realize over time.

[Sora'sMum 352]

I've noticed a lot of threads about sexuality related things lately and let me tell you I've learnt a lot. I'd never heard of pansexual up until two days ago and just heard of trisexual now. I've been really surprised with how open everyone is about themselves, it's really strange to me. Maybe it's because I go to a Catholic all boys school. We don't usually talk about this sort of stuff, and people who come across as 'gay' are usually bagged.

Well, to answer the question, I guess you're born with it but you also have to make the choice to go with it or not.

[Sora96 17,256]

I say it's nether. You are not really born straight, gay or bi. And you don't really choose either.

[Eterna 274]

I think it's a choice more than something you're born with.

I can assure you that I never wanted to be gay, however, I wouldn't change it. I love who I am.

 

But if your speaking of actually going out with people of the same gender than I agree. It is a choice. And all to often people decide to deny who they are. It's sad really, seeing people hide from who they are simply to escape judgement from others.

[CardCaptorDeadpool 386]

Well I suppose its partly a choice or really its to do with attraction or how you connect with people even of the same gender.

 

Im not sure if Im bi cause Im in a relationship with a girl and I love her. Last year though I mean I always thought everybody's beautiful and it might've been me being comfortable in my sexuality but I noticed I thought men were quite attractive in like "wow that guys really hot" or "hes really well dressed". I was kinda thinking of saying I was bi but apart from the attraction I just couldn't see myself in a relationship with a man. But thats not say I think its bad I mean look at Eterna hes in a comfortable and loving relationship with a man and thats wonderful. I think its beautiful people can find love like that!

[baylaust 2,531]

I'd probably say it's a bit of both. Being attracted to someone of the same sex is instinct, something you can't help. Whether you act on it or not is up to you.

 

Of course, I'm straight, so I wouldn't know, but that's my opinion.

[Ivan 969]

I think your sexual preference is what you're born with. To quote Koko,

well, you're born with it. i mean, you've all heard of gays being bullied and ect.? why would anyone chose to be gay if they know they'll be bullied, picked on, just because they like their same sex or both sexes.

 

why would someone choose to be mocked for a choice they made? Being attracted to a person is instinct, whether it be which sex they are, or for their personality. It is, however, their choice on who that person decides to date. Like how a guy could date a girl to use her to have people believe he's straight. You just can't go one day, "Oh, I'm going to like (whatever sex you are) from now on!" and expect your body to feel attraction to the same sex when you know you're straight and just had rough luck with the men/ladies lately. I really hate it when people just decide to change their sexuality because they can't get a boy/girlfriend and think all their problems will be solved if they just swing the other way.

 

Like DemyxLovesCookies said, your sexuality is a part of your personality. You can't change your personality. Sure, you can try as hard as you want to bury your personality and act differently, but it's always going to be there. Some gay people decide to marry a woman and have a family so they can try to be 'normal' by society's standards. They can try to be straight all they want, but they can't deny to themselves that they're gay.

 

Also, I don't really believe that your sexuality depends on the environment you grow up in. That's like saying if you're raised by two dads or two moms you're going to turn out gay, which is not true at all. Like wise, if you're raised by two straight parents, that doesn't mean you're going to turn out straight. My friend, who happens to be bi, grew up in a large Christian family. She grew up believing that people who were gay or bi deserved to go to Hell. Then one day, she tells me she started to date this girl, and that she was always attracted to both girls and guys. She was scared because of what her parents would think. I lost touch with her, but I believe she's doing alright.

 

And then there's me. My family never told me about sexual preference. I discovered that people could be gay through fanfiction. At that time, I found it as a little weird because I never knew about it before. I never considered my own sexuality until I found myself starting to have a crush on my friend. I wasn't sure what to consider myself, bisexual maybe? But I didn't really like my friend because she was pretty, more over because she had a good personality. When I'm at school, when I see a person, I don't immediately think "Oh, she's really pretty" or "he's kind of cute!" I think of their personality. It's a natural instinct for me. It's natural that I'm attracted to a person based on how they act, not on what they look like.

 

That's why I believe people are born with their sexual preference, because it's a natural instinct for them to be attracted to a certain sex (or both, or a person's personality). It's like how people decide to become transgender. They don't feel comfortable in the body they were born with. They feel natural in the body of the opposite gender, like it was meant to be that way. Your sexual preference is a big part of your life. If it was a choice, changing it would have a huge impact on you, it could even be life changing. A person is born with a natural feel of who they're attracted to. It's their choice on whether they want to be honest with themselves and accept that they are who they are, and they can't change it.

[Rue 3]

well, you're born with it. i mean, you've all heard of gays being bullied and ect.? why would anyone chose to be gay if they know they'll be bullied, picked on, just because they like their same sex or both sexes.

 

Tenchelly everyone is BORN GAY. thats right. you're born gay/lesbian. But as you mature and age,learn orm life it hink you either what's hard to explain so "move on" about your sexually or you jsut know. most of the time you know wht you liek and what you don;t like.

 

I don;t its real different I mena i used to grow up and as a kid I liekd barbies, I mean wo didn;t liekd barie dolls growing up. But i have always liekd women. been more comfterble around the same sex, so does that make me gay? n, but i think Lady has a point. bulling has to do with it,but its not about being gay or beign afried of the unknown, its about whatthey themseevles are hidin form the rest of the world. I;ve known people who come out and not get bullied, i knew gay bullies, so its abotu fear or bulling but you here it more ofen then it happends.

[Eterna 274]

 

well, you're born with it. i mean, you've all heard of gays being bullied and ect.? why would anyone chose to be gay if they know they'll be bullied, picked on, just because they like their same sex or both sexes.

 

Tenchelly everyone is BORN GAY. thats right. you're born gay/lesbian. But as you mature and age,learn orm life it hink you either what's hard to explain so "move on" about your sexually or you jsut know. most of the time you know wht you liek and what you don;t like.

 

I don;t its real different I mena i used to grow up and as a kid I liekd barbies, I mean wo didn;t liekd barie dolls growing up. But i have always liekd women. been more comfterble around the same sex, so does that make me gay? n, but i think Lady has a point. bulling has to do with it,but its not about being gay or beign afried of the unknown, its about whatthey themseevles are hidin form the rest of the world. I;ve known people who come out and not get bullied, i knew gay bullies, so its abotu fear or bulling but you here it more ofen then it happends.

 

I didn't understand a word you just said, but it sounded beautiful.

 

*applauds*

[Rue 3]

 

 

well, you're born with it. i mean, you've all heard of gays being bullied and ect.? why would anyone chose to be gay if they know they'll be bullied, picked on, just because they like their same sex or both sexes.

 

Tenchelly everyone is BORN GAY. thats right. you're born gay/lesbian. But as you mature and age,learn orm life it hink you either what's hard to explain so "move on" about your sexually or you jsut know. most of the time you know wht you liek and what you don;t like.

 

I don;t its real different I mena i used to grow up and as a kid I liekd barbies, I mean wo didn;t liekd barie dolls growing up. But i have always liekd women. been more comfterble around the same sex, so does that make me gay? n, but i think Lady has a point. bulling has to do with it,but its not about being gay or beign afried of the unknown, its about whatthey themseevles are hidin form the rest of the world. I;ve known people who come out and not get bullied, i knew gay bullies, so its abotu fear or bulling but you here it more ofen then it happends.

 

I didn't understand a word you just said, but it sounded beautiful.

 

*applauds*

 

thank you okay to sum it all up in 3-5 points

 

1. Everyone is born gay

2. I grew up (and man enough to admit this!) Like playing with babires

3. bullies fear the unknown but i disiagree witht he poitn that bullies cause this. its also socity and among other thins trust.

4.people question their sexuallty and its okay if your gay/bi/ etc. some people are phiscally attrached to the opsite and same sex, some arn;t attrached toward anyone what so ever, etc.

5.I basicly disagree with what lady koko said. minus your born gay becuase everyone is tenchilly born gay.

[ObsidianEagle 103]

i wouldn't say everyone is born gay. tbh i think you're born as nothing, when you're a little child you don't even know what those sort of feelings are.

 

i used to play with polly pockets when i was little, because i had an older sister who always got me to play with them. as i got older, i started to stop liking things like that.

 

so really it's what you grow up to be that makes you gay or not, you are not born gay or straight.