terraxaqua34 98 Posted January 16, 2011 Chapter XI Sora Sora was dirveubg the Gummi Ship until he hit some rough gravitiy. The Gummi Ship then started acting stange. He then saw an ocean. He then tryed his best to land it. Then with some luck, Sora got the ship landed on the ocean. Donald, Goofy, and Sora then got out and went to the land. There they looked around and then saw Aqua in her coat. Aqua looked at Sora.'' Sora? Sora it really is you, You've grown so much. I am glad to see you.''said Aqua. Sora then looked at Aqua.'' Your Aqua.''said Sora. Then a light came out of Sora.'' What was that?''asked Sora as he looked at Aqua.'' That light. It was Ven's heart. You had Ven's heart inside you. Sora we need to go to the castle you met Namine at.''said Aqua.'' You mean the castle where i first fought the organzation?''asked Sora.'' Yes. There we can find Ven. Then we can find the other people that are linked to your heart.''said Aqua Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stardustblade358 806 Posted January 16, 2011 This is very very good.Please write more. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
terraxaqua34 98 Posted January 18, 2011 Chapter XII Riku Terra looked at Xehanort.'' I don't have time for this.''said Xehanort as he opened a portal of darkness and left. The portal was still opened. It look different then before.'' Riku. I know what your thinking. You can't go follow him. I sense something bad in that portal. It a stronger darkness.''said Terra as he put his hand on Riku's soldier.'' You have a choice. The good one is stay here and help me find my friends or go into that portal and be sallowed by the darkness.''said Terra. Riku was thinking. If he went into that portal then he won't see Mickey or Sora ever again. He then made up his mind. He was about to start walking to the portal till the gummi ship landed on the mountain. Sora and Aqua came out. '' Aqua?''asked Terra. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
terraxaqua34 98 Posted January 27, 2011 Chapter XIII Sora Sora looked at Aqua.'' So, All we need is to go to the castle where I met Namine at?''asked Sora.'' Yes. First we need to get Terra and Riku. Once we find them then they can come along.'' Aqua said being calm. Sora looked at the ocean.' The door to light.'thought Sora as he turned his head and faced Aqua.'' Alright. If Riku's there. Then I can stop him from making the bad choice.''said Sora. They all then went to the ship and went in.' Forgive me. Ansem. I'll come back for you.'thought Aqua as she looked at space of the world. After a while, Sora landed ship in the world where Riku was. Sora got out. He looked at the world.' This looks like the world I fought that guy at.'thought Sora.'' You must stop Riku from making the wrong choice.''said Sora's future shelf.'' Riku. You can't go into that portal. If you do then bad things will happen.''said Sora as he felt the desert wind fly though his hair. Riku then turned around anf faced Sora.'' I'm a master. I'm stronger then you now. You can't stop me Sora.''said Riku as he ran though the portal which closed after he went in.'' Riku.....''wined Sora as he fell on his knees and started crying. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stardustblade358 806 Posted January 27, 2011 This is getting intense.Please write more. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sora not Roxas 0 Posted January 28, 2011 Very well told my friend, but you never had trouble with plot. Your problem was mostly grammar, but that is slowly disappearing. Now its mostly about length, as far as some chapters could of been extended and more dialogue could be added. You have gotten better with detail and go straight to the point. In other words..not much I can say lol, you started off with a good hook and...I got hooked. Great job I look forward to more. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
terraxaqua34 98 Posted January 29, 2011 Cjhapter XIV Riku Riku drived further into the darkness. Then Riku saw a pair of red eye's. Riku felt a tingy in his spine. He then disappeared in the ever lasting darkness. Meanwhile, A boy walked in Hollow Bastion up to the castle. He looked at it. He had blue hair that went up to his soldiers. He had a X on his face. It was Isa. Saix's whole being.'' Lea or Axel. Which ever. Why are you not here?''asked Isa. Meanwhile, Xehanort was walking to CO. Then he opened the door and founded a hidden door. He bought out Aqua's keyblade. He then sented a beam to the door. It opened. Xehanort then went in.'' VEN. You need to come with me....''said Xehanort as he saw that Ven's body was not in the chair. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ai Enma 7 Posted January 29, 2011 Nice chapter Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
terraxaqua34 98 Posted March 14, 2011 Chapter XV Sora A grown man was crying on the ground. Sora couldn't stop crying over not stopping Riku from making a bad choice. '' Sora, raise your head. We can help Riku. Please.''wispered Aqua. Terra, Donald, and Goofy looked at Sora. Sora then finally stopped crying and raised his head. '' Guys. There's something I need to do. A few people are hurting. I need to see them. Aqua. I need to go deep inside my heart to see one of them. Use your keyblade to put me to sleep.'' shouted Sora. Aqua looked at him. She then fired her keyblade at him. Sora then screamed in pain and fell asleep. Terranort looked confused. Then a keyblade almost attacked him. The person holding the keyblade had long brown hair, short pants, A pad on his arm, Blue eye's, And he had a keyblade he was holding backwards. '' Finally. I can get you back.''yelled the boy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites