Need some advice...

[Cricket 1,180]

This may be a bit lengthy, so sorry in advance if this post is pretty long.

 

I'm really hurt lately and it's not dealing with college or family, but it is my relationship with my boyfriend. He's a very sweet guy but he goes to another college that is out of town and I only get to see him on the weekends. We have been dating for almost a month and everything seems to go smoothly when I see him on the weekends, but when he leaves it becomes a whole other story.

 

I wake up on Saturday morning and see a text from my mom (don't make fun) saying to look at my boyfriend's Facebook wall. I didn't know what was going on and thought it may have been like a cute or sweet status, but when I log in and see his wall I see a picture of him and another girl. I don't know why I felt so horrible, jealous, and betrayed by a stupid picture on a screen, but what hurt me the most was looking at the time of the comments posted on the picture. The comments were made after I left his house Friday night around 2 am, right when I got home. So they must have both been online at the same time and talking, right? I read a comment that she left on the picture and in it it says, "I can call you whatever I want." That hurt me. I don't know why...

 

I asked him about it and he said it was nothing and promised me he cared for me and only me and that he and that girl are just good friends and she is more like a sister. Well, I remember a while back he told me there was this girl at his college who liked him and I asked her name, but he wouldn't say or forgot to mention it, but I'm pretty sure this is the girl.... Why you ask? Because right when he made our relationship visible on Facebook, she began to tag him in those photos and leave comments on his wall.

 

I log in on Facebook yesterday (Sunday) and see ANOTHER picture of them together. This time he is pushing a shopping cart in the store and she is sitting in the shopping cart and they are both smiling. This made me angry and upset and my heart sank. I hung out with him before he left Sunday and he was wearing the same exact thing in the photo! So this happened when he just got there at college. The pictures hurt me and they looked like a couple...and I was sitting there picture-less of us together. What made it worse was the comment she left under that picture, "Sorry for crying on your jacket all night, I washed it." Just wtf? I asked him again about this situation and he says that I do not need to worry at all because he likes me and only me and swore he would not hang around that girl. I'm just not so sure anymore....

 

So what do any of you think?

 

Does this sound suspicious? What should I do to find out the truth?

 

I understand he has friends there at his college, but this is hurting me and I think something is going on.

[Think Pink 1,967]

He sounds like he's being pretty childish. >.<

 

I, honestly, would be pretty suspicious at this point. I'd say trying to get some serious answers out of him. If he's going to keep giving you sort of vague answers like that, I would seriously consider breaking up with him. It'd hurt worse if you stayed together and then found out that he was cheating on you. You should sit down and tell him what you're going to do if he doesn't seriously knock it off. Even if your towns apart, he should still be more focused on you.

[Weedanort 8,786]

If that guy keeps on doing that, just break up with him.

[the15thwiseone 1]

I would get a camera and start going to town on photo's of you two holding hands, kissing, and snuggling and such. Play the same game: win the wall-post contest win the war.

 

However, this guy seems a bit fishy: I would ask about this girl: ask him how do you know this girl? ask all about it. Mention that you are interested in his friends, and meeting his friends. See how far that conversation goes...push that conversation as much as you can...and hopefully it will lead to a confession or him telling you the who she is and letting you meet her.

 

Personally if i were a boyfrriend of any girl i would be honest and heartfelt with any situation like that.

[Sorage55 10]

I've never been within a relationship, mate, but what I could say if I were that man, if it were me, then it wouldn't be THAT obvious if I were to cheat on my girl. Really? Posting up facebook pics of the two of them in activities together? Thats like saying it right in your face. Have more faith, child, for hearts that blend, which become broken, cracks both hearts inside. Is there any possible way for him to move to your college, or vice versa? This girl likes him, that we all can tell, and she might be attempting to steal the man from you.

 

Child, claim your mate, do what you can to go to HIS college and be around him there. Or some such activities.

[SuperPunk 13]

That'd make me jealous too...

 

If you ask me, all you can do is sit down with him one more time and talk about it. Tell him how it makes you feel, because it sounds like it's making you feel horrible. If he posts one more picture like that, dump him.

[Phill Devil 48]

how could you NOT feel hut about this?

it doesn't matter if they are dating or not, he needs to know that it hurts you.

don't breakup with him

tell him how do you feel and ask him to be 100% honest, and so will you.

[Cricket 1,180]

He sounds like he's being pretty childish. >.<

 

I, honestly, would be pretty suspicious at this point. I'd say trying to get some serious answers out of him. If he's going to keep giving you sort of vague answers like that, I would seriously consider breaking up with him. It'd hurt worse if you stayed together and then found out that he was cheating on you. You should sit down and tell him what you're going to do if he doesn't seriously knock it off. Even if your towns apart, he should still be more focused on you.

 

Yeah, I feel like he is giving me vague answers, but I did have a long talk with him and he knows I will break up with him if this continues, but I still have that feeling that something is going on. Thanks for your advice.

 

If that guy keeps on doing that, just break up with him.

 

If he continues to be shady and I see another picture/s then I will break up with him. There's just an extent to how far this can go. Thanks for listening. :]

 

 

I would get a camera and start going to town on photo's of you two holding hands, kissing, and snuggling and such. Play the same game: win the wall-post contest win the war.

 

However, this guy seems a bit fishy: I would ask about this girl: ask him how do you know this girl? ask all about it. Mention that you are interested in his friends, and meeting his friends. See how far that conversation goes...push that conversation as much as you can...and hopefully it will lead to a confession or him telling you the who she is and letting you meet her.

 

Personally if i were a boyfrriend of any girl i would be honest and heartfelt with any situation like that.

 

Yeah, I talked to him about taking pictures with my guy friends or how I will hang out with them all the time and he seemed a bit bothered, but I want him to know that I respect him and that I would never do anything to hurt him and post pics of me with my guy friends but it seems that it is reaching that point. I asked him who she was and he said that she likes his friend named Carter. I'm not sure if I can fully trust that because he told me that a girl liked him up there and I believe she is the said girl.

 

I've never been within a relationship, mate, but what I could say if I were that man, if it were me, then it wouldn't be THAT obvious if I were to cheat on my girl. Really? Posting up facebook pics of the two of them in activities together? Thats like saying it right in your face. Have more faith, child, for hearts that blend, which become broken, cracks both hearts inside. Is there any possible way for him to move to your college, or vice versa? This girl likes him, that we all can tell, and she might be attempting to steal the man from you.

 

Child, claim your mate, do what you can to go to HIS college and be around him there. Or some such activities.

 

He didn't post the pictures, she did and then tagged him in them, guess I should have made that clearer.

Nah, it's too late to transfer during the year and midterms just ended so it would look terrible on a transcript and I'm not moving to a college for a guy, but thanks for your input and I'll keep my eyes open.

 

That'd make me jealous too...

 

If you ask me, all you can do is sit down with him one more time and talk about it. Tell him how it makes you feel, because it sounds like it's making you feel horrible. If he posts one more picture like that, dump him.

 

Yep, if I see another picture of them all close and everything then I'll dump him. I just wish some guys would think about that kinda stuff before they do it lol, no offense to guys. I mean he could have said, "No I don't want to be in the picture, I have a girlfriend." But ehh....

 

how could you NOT feel hut about this?

it doesn't matter if they are dating or not, he needs to know that it hurts you.

don't breakup with him

tell him how do you feel and ask him to be 100% honest, and so will you.

 

Yeah, I am pretty hurt, but it always seems like that happens to me in every relationship. -sighs- ._.

I know!!!! I'm pretty sure if I did something to hurt him then I would not do it again, but he let it happen a 2nd time? I just don't know what to do about that. I won't break up with him now, but I just hope this stops being suspicious and I will call him out on a few things the next time something like this happens and yeah I'll be honest with him. Thanks!

[Eterna 274]

Either 2 things are happening.

 

1.) he may be cheating ( I doubt it)

2.) She's probly just a friend

 

I have plenty of friends that are girls. It's not an uncommon thing. I mean if you do bring this up think about what you're doing first; you may be asking him to give up a friend just to sate your jealousy. As a general rule I find though, is that Girls tend to be very playful when around their guy friends, so what you take for flirting could simply be them having fun. Find definitive evidence first, if he does have a thing going on with her (unlikely) then dump him, but you can't bring up an argument about something this serious based on a hunch.

[sneezes 73]

Either 2 things are happening.

 

1.) he may be cheating ( I doubt it)

2.) She's probly just a friend

 

I have plenty of friends that are girls. It's not an uncommon thing. I mean if you do bring this up think about what you're doing first; you may be asking him to give up a friend just to sate your jealousy. As a general rule I find though, is that Girls tend to be very playful when around their guy friends, so what you take for flirting could simply be them having fun. Find definitive evidence first, if he does have a thing going on with her (unlikely) then dump him, but you can't bring up an argument about something this serious based on a hunch.

 

Out of all the posts I read so far, this is the only one that makes sense & won't cause so much trouble as the rest, lol.

 

Definitely take a try at Eterna's advice, hun. He's saying the truth when he says that you're giving your boyfriend the option of giving up his friend simply to calm your jealousy. Sounds mean & blunt, but, sadly, it's the truth.

 

Try to get proof that your boyfriend maybe is cheating on you; doesn't sound very likely from what you've written in your post. He really does sound like he likes you : )

 

Calm down a little & think things through...it'll be worth in the end, trust me. c: ?

 

Wish you the best, my lovely cricket chirpchirpchirp <3

[Chaosx 113]

eterna and jenyflo are right. if you find that he is cheating on you, ditch him. but he is probably not

[CardCaptorDeadpool 386]

Your right to feel suspicious and hurt but those are natural things to feel in a relationship when you other half is doing something away from you (please dont misinterpret that part). It might be that the uncertainty you feel is due to your imagination getting the better of you. Like Eterna said they're most likely good friends and girls do tend to be more playful with friends. I suppose the best thing you can do is talk with him but not like an interrogation Im sure he'll tell you the truth not just what you wanna hear I mean from what you told us he does care for you and ye have been going out for a while so I doubt ye'd want that to end.

 

Btw its debatable but I think that only getting to see each other on the weekends is a good thing the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is applicable here. Its the same with me and my girlfriend Im in college and shes still in secondary school so we only get to see each other on the weekend but we make the time we have together worth it

[Fx250 0]

You probably already know what I think about it. I do think she is just a friend, but you still have to worry. It's not at all hard for him to start developing feelings for this girl, especially if you're not around. You know, I've went through the same thing, and eventually my girlfriend broke up with me so she could be with the "friend"... If he is serious about your relationship then he needs to learn to draw a line with other females and not cross it, and he needs to guard his heart. I'm sure you've already told him how it makes you feel, and I hope he has made some changes. If it keeps on, don't put up with it. You deserve to have someone who is completely focused on you.

[Cricket 1,180]

Hey everyone, really thank you for your concerns and comments. It meant a lot to me and helped me feel better when I really needed support. We cleared everything up and I listened to all of you and they are just friends. She likes his friend and told him she had feelings and his friend has the same feelings back, so thanks for all the support and taking the time to read this.