Text utter silence [flashfiction/drabble]

[Cellar Door 652]

Darkness. Pure black darkness.

 

Outside the sirens were still ringing.

Tiny bodies huddled together in the cramped unseeable place.

 

 

The sirens stop.

Utter silence.

 

Boom!

 

The first one drops and they can feel it, feel its power.

 

A little one starts to cry, and an invisible figure holds him tight.

 

They can hear them dropping.

 

Sometimes in the distance.

Sometimes unbearably close.

 

Time passes slowly, feeling like days.

 

All noises stop.

Utter silence.

 

The sirens go off again.

The clear.

 

They open the cellar door as light comes back to London.

[Haruhime 6]

Very nice! I really like it. ^^ I see no mistakes, and your vocab is awesome. :]

[Cellar Door 652]

thank you very much (: lol, if it was longer there'd prolly be things for grammar ( iabusecommasD8 ) but there was a project at school to write a flash fiction of 50-100 words soyeah. owo

[Haruhime 6]

thank you very much (: lol, if it was longer there'd prolly be things for grammar ( iabusecommasD8 ) but there was a project at school to write a flash fiction of 50-100 words soyeah. owo

 

Haha no problem. I tend to abuse commas as well.