Xemnas Gets Exiled From The World That Never Was

PROLOUGE: XEMNAS'S ADVENTURES

Xemnas: Ok, everyone invent a new flavour of sorbet, go!

Demyx: but sir, i'm allergic to ice-cream!

Xemnas: Which is why we're making sorbet, move it

???: Xemnas, could you come here please?

Xemnas: Ok...

Demyx: who's that?

Xemnas: oh, no-one!

???: Good to see you again Xemnas

Xemnas: you almost blew the secret there! you know that i never told my organisation that they were 1 of 80!

Big Boss: I know, i know, but this is important. i've been reading the charts of Organisations 1-40, and noticed a very small amount of hearts being produced.

Xemnas: you don't understand! organisation 23 took away our sea-salt ice-cream business, and we have barely any munny!

Big Boss: that's no excuse. i mean come on, you have them making random flavours of ice-cream!

Xemnas: you mean sorbet

Big Boss: i don't care!

Xemnas: well i was going to give you a free sample, but if you're gonna gonna be moody about it...

Big Boss: YOU'RE FIRED!

Xemnas: well you can't burn sorbet but- wait, what?

Big Boss: I'm handing your job over to Zac Efron. he sucks, but he can just smile, ask for a girls heart and he's got half the world!

Xemnas: i'm begging you-

Big Boss: Leave! and take your sorbet with you!

2 PACKED SUITCASES AND A BIG BUCKET OF QUESTIONABLE SORBET LATER

Xemnas: screw him! i don't need any of them. i'll give myself a new life! i'll go to twilight town, make love to ollette and steal organisation 23's business! i'll be happier than i've ever been in a dark room making deoderant flavoured sorbet.

Book 1: Chapter 1: Twilight Town Coming soon

ROFLMAO! Can't wait for the rest!

LOL!

I AM ROFLMAO'ing...

MAKE. MORE. NOW!

some more story hopefully this afternoon.

LMFAO!!!!!!!! HURRY!!!!!! XDDDDDDDDD

yes...please...HURRY!

BOOK 1: Kingdom Hearts 2

CHAPTER 1: TWILIGHT TOWN

Xemnas: hah! twilight town! let me hear it for the new guy in town!

*silence*

Xemnas: i told them linking to a world with no personality would be a good spot! so roxas gave me an address before i left, so i'll try for a home there first...

IN THE USUAL SPOT

Pence: wow, don't you feel that sea-salt ice-cream is so boring? we need something different like... like... like sorbet!

Hayner: yeah, sea-salt-sucks, if only we has some sort of girly-grey-haired old man in a black coat that sounds like richard epcar who could overthrow the company

Ollette: yeah, and i'm really short of love, if i don't get some in the next 20 minutes i'll explode!

Xemnas: well i can answer all your prayers. you want sorbet, i've got buckets full. i'm an old man who sounds like richard epcar, and i want sea salt gone! and ollette, i'm yours

Ollette: perfect! mine first!

*2 hours later*

Xemnas: woo! let's do that again soon

Ollette: in 50 minutes?

Xemnas: you said it! right, next up on the list is killing organisatation 23's stupid ice cream business!

Hayner: Lets go!

*at the ice cream stall*

Xamnus: oh god, what do you want xemnas?

Hayner: give me the stand, or you'll be sorry...

Xamnus: no

Xemnas: you asked for it

*spits in ice cream tup and stirs it*

Xemnas: MWUHAHAHA!

Xamnus: *Crying* your so mean! *sniff sniff*

*runs away*

Hayner: oh yeah! you rule, no one will eat this ever again! the sea salt was the reason my grandmother died...

Xemnas: don't care, lets go back to the normal spot

Hayner: usual spot

Xemnas: whatever

IN THE USUAL SPOT

Xemnas: now to grant you last wish... everyone dip in to my delicious sorbet

*everyone tries and spits out*

Pence: oh god that's nasty!

Hayner: now i want sea-salt ice cream back!

Ollette: i'm never making love to you again!

Xemnas: NO!!!!!! i can't stay here, i must leave!

Pence: thank god!

IN TWILIGHT STATION

Xemnas: word on the street if here i can ride the dope-ass disney train out of here, so leave i shall.

BOOK 1: CHAPTER 2: HOLLOW BASTION COMING SOON

ROFLMAO!!! GREAT!

XDDDDDDDDDD LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Xemnas's ice-cream/sorbet...too bad

XDDDDDDDDDD LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Xemnas's ice-cream/sorbet...too bad

 

Xemnas: hey! you can now buy 'Grandma Xemnas's Homemade Sorbet' at all good supermarkets!

Random Person: Now in tangy off-date milk flavour!

Wow, this is awesomeness!

Chapter 2: Hollow Bastion (Town) Part 1

Travel Agent: yes, so this is a lovely town, plenty of shops, nice scenery and a beautiful castle on the horizon.

Xemnas: sounds great! now this is a place to live

Travel Agent: right now we are able to offer you a house near the bailey, within walking distance of the shops and our castle postern.

Xemnas: good, i'll take it!

Travel Agent: but first i have to warn you that the area is still going through restoration, so you should be wary of massive white columns that kill anything living and turn it into ashes after a very nice bodily fireworks display

Xemnas: wow, free entertainment! i'll be off to my house then

Travel Agent: goodbye sir.

ON THE WAY TO THE HOUSE

Xemnas: haha! 3 small ducks and an older duck with ice-cream just got burned by the columns! ooh, they left behind some roast duck, that sorts my lunch.

Merlin: ooh, hello there! we don't often get newcomers to our town!

Xemnas: get out of the way old bag, and why aren't you wearing any trousers?

Merlin: trousers are overrated! would you like some spells, only 30 munny a spell!

Xemnas: sounds good! i'll take the lot

Merlin: ok, do you also want all the summons for only 100 munny?

Xemnas: good idea, i'll take it

Merlin: ok, thats just 260 munny

Xemnas: here you go, SPELLS SPELLS SPELLS!!!!

Merlin: ah the youth of today, playing with fire... and blizzard... and thunder...

AT XEMNAS'S HOUSE

Cid: Well howdy there!

Leon: hi...

Aerith: nice to see you

Yuffie: look how short my skirt is!

Xemnas: this can't be right, where's my house?

Cid: right here! we just came in to give ya'll a welcome party!

Leon: we went back in time, killed sonic to cook you a delicious steak, and came back

SONIC IS DEAD

Xemnas: you can't do that! you'll create a time paradox!

Snake: yeah, the future will be nothing without sonic!

Xemnas: what are you doing here?

Snake: well i have to be here everytime anyone says that line...

Merlin: also i forgot to tell you something! if you spend over 250 munny at Merlins amazing magic store, you get all the smash bros brawl character free!

Xemnas: well that must mean...

Kirby: xemnas!

Xemnas: kirby! oh i've missed you so much

Kirby: me too xemnas!

Yuffie: my skirt is shorter than yours!

O.o

COMING SOON: HOLLOW BASTION PART II

GAHAHA!!! Kirby can talk?! Awesome!!! Trousers AND Sonic are overrated... Keep the story going!!!

Wait...if they went back in time to kill Sonic, and Xemnas got all the characters for free...then...THATS A RIP OFF!!! (roflmao)

Chapter 2: Hollow Bastion (Town) Part 2

cid: what's goin on here?

Xemnas: ah, we and kirby go way back

Kirby: back into the centre of subspace itself

Xemnas: but that's a story for another time, now-

Sonic: leon!

Leon: oh dear... what are you doing here?

Sonic: luckily i got brought back from subspace thanks to merlins smash ball product. leon, why did you kill me???

Leon: i wanted to make xemnas a delicious welcome steak, you can try some if you like

Sonic: like i would eat mysel- GIMME!

*tears away at sonic-speed-steak*

Sonic: oh my god, this is delicious!!!

*disappears in a puff of smoke*

Snake: you can't do that! you'll create a time paradox!

xemnas: too late. anyway i think i should return you to brawl, i'm afraid that you just won't fit in in this dimension.

boswer: but we can't have come all this way for nothing!

yuffie: you won't have been here for nothing, come here big boy!

bowser: wow, look how short your skirt is!

yuffie: oh yes i love you!

Xemnas: ok, fine, bowser can stay. but all of you have to go. but take these with you *hands over xemnas and sora pictures*, take these to nintendo, and with a bit of violent persuasion we might see those in the next smash bros game.

toon link: will do xemnas! bye!

Xemnas: wow, who came up with this wacky bit...

cid: so come on y'all, let's get this party started!

aerith: but sonic ate our steak, we have no food.

xemnas: don't worry, i've got sorbet!

leon: what flavour?

xemnas: today's sunday, so it's marmite flavour!

bowser: good, i love marmite!

leon: i hate it

xemnas: you'll like this!

*they all try... and stand still... and projectile vomit DX*

leon: nope still hate it

bowser: oh god, that cannot be marmite!

xemnas: oh, whoops, that's baby flavour

yuffie: you killed a baby?!?!

xemnas: yeah, your baby

Snake: you can't do that, you'll create a time paradox!

xemnas: get out of here...

cid: leave! and never come back

xemnas: damn... this never would have happened if i didn't send kirby away... i know what i'll do, i'll randomly go to china!

Chapter 3: The Land Of Dragons coming soon...

more story for this and xemnas's adventures (sadly sinking to the bottom of the forum...) today

Oh that's sad, Poor Xemnas, will he ever find people with no tastebuds?

We need more Mr. Game and Watch Epic thus far.

yet surely you must agree with me that sora should be in the next smash game?

eh, i've been putting off writing story, i promise i'll do some this weekend

So random its funny.

If he shuns me...

*Holding shotgun*