• Log in with Twitter Log In with Google
  •    Sign In   
  • Create Account

You are viewing the forum as a guest. For a better experience, please sign in or create an account.

Forum Search New Content Forum Rules Boards Status Updates Fan-made Images Fan-made Videos Livestreams Chatroom
  1. Viewing Profile: Likes: Firaga

Firaga

Member Since 14 Dec 2011
Offline Last Active Oct 22 2017 10:50 AM

#1964891 I'm Trying To Be Better

Posted by Firaga on 22 October 2017 - 01:52 AM

As I've said numerous other times before, I don't really go to this side of the forums because I'm not really one to really open up about my personal life or anything like that. Still, I've been a little frustrated with some things in my life recently so I just kind of wanted to get some things out. Forgive me if this sounds rambly, it's very late and I'm very tired, but I just really need to get this out.

I just want to say that if you're someone who feels like I'm a bit of a nuisance or I've just cause some kind of altercation with you or other people in the past... I'm sorry. I really am. I don't think I've really had the best reputation around here if I'm perfectly honest. I mean sure, I try and paint myself as the funny guy who makes lame jokes and does role-plays and writes really random crap and stuff, you know, someone when everybody knows and enjoys being around with. But more I look back at the stupid things I've done and the arguments I've had and the many people I feel like I have hurt... the more I realize that I'm just not very good person to be around.

I come off as someone who wants to feel superior to everybody, no matter what it is, and well cause any amount of fuss or agitation just to get my way.

I really do try to be good. I'm at a point in my life where I don't have much of an excuse either. I'm freaking 21. I have to be better than this. Hell, I NEED to be better than this... but I'm just not.

No matter how hard I try I make the same mistakes, I hurt the same people, and the cycle just keeps continuing until those people get sick of me and leave my stupid ass for good.

That's NOT who I want to be. I want to be the guy who people can be with a feel like they don't have ANY problems. Kind of person that people can feel safe and comfortable with.

But maybe I'm just not comfortable with my own self. Maybe despite everything I've experienced and actually learned from in life, I'm still at a point where I just can't bring myself to be happy with who I am and thus, I can't help but bring other people down too...

I'm not saying I have depression. I don't have the need to kill myself or feel worthless or anything like that. I do think there's some good in me and I do think I am worthwhile as a person. But at the same time, I acknowledge that I have flaws and so does everybody else... but when you step back and realize that a certain flaw of yourself has caused you more sadness and frustration then it's warranted, maybe it's time to change.

But I can't. I CAN'T freaking change. It's because of me at that an argument starts, continues, and ends. It's because of me that I get asked to not the around certain areas are talk to certain people. I'm ALWAYS the one at fault... and I only realized after it's done that I shouldn't have been the bad guy. I had a chance to walk away to be a better person, and yet, I chose not to. I'm a goddamn idiot who is utterly baffled that I even HAVE friends anymore...

Even then, how long am I going to have those friends until they leave me too. When does get to a point where I am just completely alone with only myself to blame?

Again, I'm not depressed. I'm just angry with myself. I'm angry that I have to make other people angry. Thank you only stop myself from being angry after the damage is already done.

I really am trying to be better, every single step of the way... but as all the affirmation ranting above showed, I don't think I'm doing a very good job.

Maybe some of you agree or disagree. I really do feel like I've met so many amazing people just on these forums alone and yet I've caused you so much grief that some you don't even want to talk to me anymore... I dunno. I just figured that getting all these emotions out would be better than just leaving them bottled in...

But just to reiterate: I really am sorry for everything I've done. I am very, truly, honestly sorry. I just want to be better. I really do.


#1964487 Interest Check: "KINGDOM HEARTS | RE:ALIGN"

Posted by Firaga on 16 October 2017 - 07:52 PM

Helloooooooo, friends.  :lol:

 

I'm back again with another interest check and I promise that this premise will actually be interesting this time.  I've been kicking around this idea for a bit and I think it's finally ready to show off and see if I can garner an audience. Either that or it's shit, but hey, that's why we're here to test it out.  :tongue:

 

Without further ado, cue the synopsis that I totally didn't think up off the top of my head in less than five minutes!!~

 

<3  <3  <3  <3  <3

 

The world is a wondrous place, isn't it? 

 

This, our world filled with imagination and excitement... connected by the force of Light and the strength our Hearts. Where humans and animals, knights and magicians, fairies and spirits, and all other beings of all shapes and sizes live in harmony. Truly, this is paradise.

 

 

But there is still such a thing as "trouble in paradise" after all.

 

Where there is Light, there is Darkness. Where there is Darkness, there lies those who have no Heart... those who are Heartless. Those who will do anything to destroy the Light and take the Hearts away, who thrive in conflict. In treachery. In war.

 

So you might ask yourself: how can I, a follower of the Light, do what I can to protect what I hold dear? Am I really that capable of becoming the beacon of hope in which the Light will shine through upon those who wish to bathe our world in complete and utter Darkness?

 

And the answer is... yes. You can.

 

-- PLEASE OPEN --

Spoiler

 

<3  <3  <3  <3  <3

 

And there we go. Seems simple enough right? ... okay, maybe not. Let me shed some more light on the situation then, heh heh-okay fine, I said "light" too many times...

 

As the premise should have hinted at, this is an alternate universe take on Kingdom Hearts that has a Keyblade academy in it... I didn't say it was original, alright?  :lol:

 

There's more to it though: every world that we know in the Kingdom Hearts plane of existence is not separated into various worlds that require a spaceship made out of Lego blocks to enter through (barring the ones I don't like or make up for the purposes of fanservice) They're all connected into one single world, kinda what we imagine the universe was like before the events of the games in the "Age of Fairy Tales".

 

And in this realm, the place we know as Daybreak Town is the central hub where all the original characters live... well, most of them. There's some secrets here and there that I don't want to spoil just yet.

 

But to make things easy, here's all you need to know: AU, Academy, make your own student, make your own Keyblade with your abilities and junk, and embark on an adventure where all the worlds are connected from the start and feature characters that were introduced after we knew the worlds were disconnected i.e. Mickey Mouse. So don't be surprised if you see a certain protagonist crop up and be one of your classmates as well as a few other students that you might know from different time periods...

 

Sooooo, that's it. Please let me know what you think below. Stay frosty-oh wait, I'm a fire guy... uh... flaming? Wait, that doesn't work either... just comment, dammit!  -.-  -.-  -.-




#1961227 Official One Piece Manga Discussion Thread

Posted by Firaga on 01 September 2017 - 09:50 PM

FIRST!

 

... sorry. Ahem. Anyways, new chapter!

 

Spoiler




#1960576 Official One Piece Manga Discussion Thread

Posted by Firaga on 27 August 2017 - 12:36 AM

Spoiler




#1959860 Sonic Boom Is A Beautiful Thing

Posted by Firaga on 20 August 2017 - 09:06 PM

Again, I've been praising this show ever since it started, but did anybody listen? Nooooo...

 

... still not caught up with Season 2. I-I'll get to it, I swear.




#1959659 Official One Piece Manga Discussion Thread

Posted by Firaga on 18 August 2017 - 10:09 PM

Spoiler




#1959075 Why Nomura, WHY

Posted by Firaga on 13 August 2017 - 07:39 PM

I guess he was just... unlucky. *rimshot*

 

... what? That was practically gift wrapped. Leave me alone.




#1958035 Official One Piece Manga Discussion Thread

Posted by Firaga on 06 August 2017 - 04:57 PM

Spoiler

 

Spoiler




#1957841 Goodbye Christopher Robin Trailer #1 (2017) | Movieclips Trailers

Posted by Firaga on 04 August 2017 - 09:40 PM

Given the already sappy nature of this trailer, this is probably going to start some controversy.

 

I mean, I like Winnie the Pooh too (the Disney version anyway), but I also know that C.R. Milne wound up resenting the entire idea of Pooh because he felt like his childhood was being exploited by commercialism, became resentful of his treatment by fans and of A.A. Milne himself, and pretty much carried that resentment with him to the grave.

 

But the movie's just going to make both pop and son seem like two angels sent down from Heaven to coerce with us puny mortals, aren't they? Yeah, probably.




#1957837 To Every Spongebob And Jojo Fan

Posted by Firaga on 04 August 2017 - 09:20 PM

I didn't even think about this being accomplished and I do love both SB and JoJo.

 

Internet, you're a genius.




#1957835 Official One Piece Manga Discussion Thread

Posted by Firaga on 04 August 2017 - 09:16 PM

So about that poll...

 

Spoiler

 

And now for the chapter:

 

Spoiler




#1956077 Chester Bennington Of Linkin Park Took His Life. :(

Posted by Firaga on 21 July 2017 - 11:19 PM

I've been listening to Linkin Park since junior high and I honestly consider them one of my favorite bands of all time. Chester was a really talented vocalist and always seemed like a very introspective and passionate guy too. It's really sad to see this happen.




#1956065 Official One Piece Manga Discussion Thread

Posted by Firaga on 21 July 2017 - 09:14 PM

Spoiler




#1955851 Has Nomura all but confirmed Tim Burton's adaptation of Alice in Wonderland?

Posted by Firaga on 20 July 2017 - 03:26 PM

We already have the Disney AiW, we're good in that area, assuming Wonderland will even return to III but since Alice is a PoH, it's possible.

 

I mean, just because we have tea cups doesn't mean we'll get an entirely new version of Alice anyway. The tea cups are from the original ride which was again based on Disney's Alice, not Tim Burton's.




#1955850 Only old school KH13 members will remember this

Posted by Firaga on 20 July 2017 - 03:20 PM

Indeedily do.

 

It was like the site's version of the THX "whooomp" or the 20th Century Fox orchestra.