fan-fic for competition kingdom hearts: reality crystals pt1

[liamaru 294]

my first time writing a fan-fic

 

this story takes place at the end of kingdom hearts III and is told from sora's point of view. sora and the 7 guardians of light have defeated the new "ORGINIZATION 13" and are traveling through a beam of light which looks similar to the "time gate" sarah and noel use in ffXIII-2 to defeat an unusually calm terra-xehanort who is waiting for them at the keyblade graveyard what could he be planning and why is he so calm?

 

im a little nervous and mayby even a bit scared but....it's okay riku and kairi , king mickey and the others are here with me...or...at least it should be okay. everyone's counting on us to beat xehanort and restore the worlds but.....somethings off.....it's weird we defeated xigbar and the rest of the new organization destroyed thair fort and finally rescued Ven and Aqua we got her armor back from ansem's place plus i can still use the keyblade everythings good so far i should be confidant but instead it's hard to breath im sweating like crazy and i have a bad feeling like something horrible is gonna happen.

 

sora looks at donold and goofy they notice his gaze looks back at him and both simultaneously give sora the thumbs-up sora in return gives a worm smile and a forced silant laugh. sora then focuses his attention to riku and kairi who are both flying close by they both look at sora and kairi looks at both of them and says "sora , riku.....up untill now you guys have been through so much by yourselves....always fighting to protect me or someone somewhere while......i just sat there helpless doing nothing well no more. this time ill protect you guys this time we'll fight together!!!!" sora and riku both shook their heads and agreed they knew kairi had become strong , smart and courageous through master yen sid and later lightnings training having defeated many heartless , nobodies and other powerful enemies however , underneath that they knew she was nowhere near their level. kairi trained hard and grew very strong and gained experience in a short time but kairi was notcut out for fighting true she grew and quite powerful and experienceed but sora , riku and the others have years of experience over her sora and riku may not have had actual battle experience when they were younger but they had the instinct and formed thair own fighting style from a tender age. they've also have been fighting each other all their lives so their quite overly familiar with each others style and are on par with each other whilst kairi however is relatively new to fighting and the style and abilities she has learned are on that of the level of xion which is quite a feat however compared to sora and riku's abilities she would probably be at the level of a neo-shadow in comparison. sora and riku aren't overly familiar with her fighting style which would naturaly affect their teamwork and concentration so they felt uneasy but nevertheless they decided to at least try"let's go home to the islands together this time sora , riku" kairi says. with a determined look sora and riku say "YEAH".

 

sora , riku , kairi , lea . king mickey , Aqua and ven plus donald and goofy finally reach the end of the light "GET READY FELLAS XEHANORT IS UP AHEAD" king mickey seys "got it" lea sey's griningly "this is it" riku says sora give an angry expression as their destination grows closer. Aqua gives a very angry expression and silently utteres the name "terra" ven howeverhas a very sad expression but looks forward anyway goofy and donald look worried "do ya think we'll win donald ?" "of course we'll win we've got sora, riku and the king!!!!" seys donald "yeah ahyuck your right" goofy agrees. after a huge flash of light they arive at the keyblade graveyard . they all immediately look around for any sign of xehanort until they focus their attention derectly upwards where they spot a HUGE planet size kingdom hearts "beautiful is it not?" a voice says everyone looks in the direction of the voice when they see a shadowed figure standing on a giant rock in a crucifixion stance towards the colossal kingdom hearts the figure slowly puts his hands down turns around and says"you've arrived a little early have you not?" Aqua and ven look in horror "terra?"says Aqua terranort looks at Aqua and gives a dry smile his eyes glowing gold "MONSTER!!!"Aqua says as she leaps into the air to strike him while terranort slowly raises his right hand and stops Aquas keyblade with a force field"DAMN YOU!!!"Aqua says as she pulls back and strikes twice terranort easily dodges her attacks and says"out of my way"he then puts his hand on her stomach and releases a powerful shock wave which sends her flying . mickey catches her and sora and co make sure she's ok "Aqua " ven shouts sora and riku give an angered expression before leaping into the air "WAIT"kairi shouts before leaping behind them. sora and riku attack immediately attack in synch simultaneously with extreme teamwork. a midair kairi watches sora and riku's incredible speed and technique as she descends sora attacks 8 times above and riku attack's below 11 times terranort wasn't able to dodge all of the simultaneous attacks terranort attacks sora with his keyblade sora dodges but terranort kicks his stomach riku uses dark firaga to conceal his next attack but terranort quickly slices through it to get to riku when terranort is suddenly struck by flamed slashes"sheesh don't go count'in me out eh!"lea appears out of wild crimson flames"yo" says lea "thats for hurting my friends got it memorized!?!!" terranort angered by lea's sneak attacks lea head on lea smirking say"that's ganna hurt" from obove kairi shoots water magic at terranort wich initially does nothing then kairi uses thundaga terranort was about to dodge when he notices that lea melted the rock on his feet to keep him immobile the thundaga hits and electricutes him terranort kneels sora approaches .....to be continued

Edited October 26, 2014 by liamaru

[liamaru 294]

damn i must totally suck at fan fic

[Roxasrox 131]

I read these stories and as much as I want to offer my opinion, even if meant to be helpful, I feel like I shouldn't because I'm entering this contest too. I don't wanna be that guy, but I also want to help. I feel like as a fellow peer and entrant, it's not my place and I don't want to come across as pretentious or cocky.

In this case though, seeing as this is your first fan-fic, I think some guidance is called for. So rather than give you a critique, I'll stick to giving you advice. Nothing I'm about to say will be said specifically in response to your story, this is all unrelated general advice that you can use. But I'm putting a disclaimer up beforehand right here that I'm no expert. I just want to give you some basic tips to help you with your writing, if that's okay. You are totally at liberty to ignore everything I say. I'm only here to offer a little optional help if you want to accept it.

 

First piece of advice I would give you is to read. And I mean read in a general sense. Read novels. Read magazines. Read the news. Read blogs. Read the back of game boxes. Reading will just massively aid you in both the size of your vocabulary and your grasp of grammar. Don't just read for the information, read for the writing style. Read for the information and the way it's being delivered. Read for the structure of what's being conveyed and the techniques used to convey it. Absorb whatever information you can find from these things, both in the lines and between the lines. Try to compare different works and recognise what's well-written and what isn't. I guarentee you'll pick up good habits without even realising it. Getting smarter doesn't hurt either.

 

Second piece of advice is proof-read your work. Whether it's while you're writing it or after you've finished it, or better yet - both, it's very important that you check over your story and think about what it needs. Reviewing isn't something reserved for critics; there shouldn't be a critic more aggressively harsher towards your work than yourself. You need to read your work and ask yourself if you enjoy reading it. Moreso you should ask yourself if others will enjoy reading it and why or why not. Spelling and grammar are important aspects to fix because they will improve the readability of it immensely. Check to make sure character dialogue and actions make sense and that there isn't information you've forgotten to convey to the reader. Check your tenses to make sure they aren't mixing in the wrong places. Overall, just read it and make sure you're satisfied with the flow of it. If you don't like it, you can't expect your readers to either.

 

Third and final piece of advice is to take your time with your writing. It's important to think ahead so that you know at least roughly where your story is going. You should work out in advance where your story begins and ends, who the main character is, what growth you're intending them to experience or what lessons they're going to learn and how they're going to learn them. It's good practice to write stories the correct length. It may be too short if you aren't taking the time to fully describe the situation to the reader and keep them up to speed with the character's point of view. Alternatively it may be too long if your story goes into too much detail in its descriptions or spends too much time giving out backstory or sidelining the main plot. Now, if you're confident that these detours are interesting enough, you don't have to play it too safe. Nor is it always a bad thing when the reader isn't filled in on enough details. Sometimes writers utilise one or the other of these situations to get a certain reaction from their readers. Different stories were meant to be different lengths and different writers will have different ideas on what that length is. Whatever you do, make sure the reaction you give your readers is the intended one.

 

All in all, just do what naturally feels right to you. Make the decisions that you're sure are the best ones to make your stories the best they can be. You're the only one who can get your stories right, but you have to put the work in to do so. And when you do, the end results are wonderful.

 

That's all I have to say right now. I don't want to scare you off from writing; it's a true joy and anyone can do it. I wish you all the best whether you take my advice to heart or not. It's your freedom.

Enjoy your writing first-timer. You have a mind to share with the world. Make the most of it. You're worth it.

 

...I'm a bit of a sap, aren't I?

[liamaru 294]

weeel i actually had much more planed in short like xehanort fusing with kingdom hearts sora and riku fight him in one epic conclusion xehanort blows up creating a rip in the space time continuum which sends sora to the ff10 traveling with tidus and co and later ff15 traveling with noctice and co universe to searching for reality fragments to restore their world but i should quit while im ahead