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Five Questions W/ The KH Cast

five questions with the kh cast

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#21 Firaga

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Posted 14 September 2014 - 03:43 PM

Welcome back my pals for another edition of 'Five Questions'! Sorry for the delay, I kinda kept forgetting to write this thing this weekend. I've been swamped with some other things so forgive me. Also we really didn't get that many questions for Roxas either. Shame. But still, the show must go on! And it shall, right now:

 

Disclaimer: The following is a non-profit, fan based forum story thingy. Kingdom Hearts and all its respective properties belong to Disney, Square Enix, and Tetsuya Nomura. Some elements of the universe may be changed, some character personalities may be altered or be “quirky”, and some fictional events may be mentioned or discussed all for the sake of comedy. Don't take any of this seriously, its all for fun.

 

Episode IV (9/14/14)

 

The air was a little uneasy this week, mostly because of the fact that Aladdin kicked the cast and I out of our studio in Hollywood or Japan or whatever. We were now filming in a less extravagant studio located in… you know what, I don’t really think that it needs to be said. We never really knew where we were filming in the first place. All we know is that this place is a lot shittier.

 

But anyways, the cast got ready to shoot and in the host’s place this week was one of my favorite members of the cast: Roxas. He had blonde spiky hair and wore a black zipped jacket over a white unzipped jacket with beige and black pants and red and black strapped shoes. He also had a black and white checkered wristband on his left wrist and two pieces of tape wrapped around his index and middle finger, one white and one black.

 

The camera started rolling and while Roxas was composed, he also looked like he was very serious. I could tell that whatever he was going to say was going to involve Aladdin and our new location.

 

“The feud continues… its us versus the world. Against the wishes of Aladdin, we are here again. And we’ve gone so low budget, that I’m next to catering. So you’re gonna hear plates, conversation, and we may even have a mysterious guest!” Roxas ranted, exaggerating our situation but still painting a good picture of how bad we have it right now. 

 

“Why, because they hate us. But we don’t hate you. This is the one place where the printers can print, and we can just sit down. If you’re at work: click on, act like you’re doing something, but watch “Five Questions”. If you’re a kid: maybe you’re supposed to be doing algebra. Get on and watch “Five Questions”. It’s ten minutes of your life… that you can escape! And get the answers to existence!” Roxas boldly stated, holding up the papers in his hand. “This is good stuff here. And I commend you for tuning in. In our anti-internet campaign, I start off the greatest Five Questions in the world. Suit up, friends,” Roxas once again stated boldly, catching many the attention of various cast members as well as the audience.

 

“Question one, from OogityBoogity. He writes, ‘Recently, there was a fight between Zola and Shana09 during a KH13 event. Have you ever-‘ …” Roxas stopped speaking and paused for a moment. “I heard about the fight at the KH13 event…” He confirmed, sighing to himself. “The next question here is, uh, I-I built it up too big. I did, I uh, I claimed earlier that these would be the greatest five questions in the world. But, here’s a guy… writing in to me… asking if I’ve ever had a fight with another KH cast member…” Roxas looked to the side, his eyes hidden by his hair before turning back. 

 

“What the f*ck is that that? Really?” He said, chuckling a little, but then raised his voice as he said, “This is what I do! I’m here! I mean, me and the other guys spend ten minutes out of the week with you guys just shooting the shit and relaxing, you know, cooling out in the cut, maybe we throw a fit, get a little crunk. Do a little somethin’…” Roxas then began moving around trying to act, as the kids call it, “gangsta” for a bit, but then stopped and went back to his rant: “But besides that I fight! Every fricking day! And I wish I could fight you but I never have!” Roxas said backstage, pointing to Xemnas of course. “But someday we will. Someday we’re gonna have a, uh, uh, w-we’ll take down to Pier Six! We’re skipping over Pier Five but we’re not quite getting to Pier Seven… ‘cuz they’re tough bastards over there.” Roxas then looked back at this papers.

 

“But the question asked here is ‘Have I ever gotten into a fight with another KH cast member and who was it’? … I won’t even field that question… play the damn games. Or at least pay attention to current events. But if I could somebody I haven’t fought… it would be Xemnas,” Roxas said, once again looking at his former boss. “And after I kick the holy shit out of him, Aladdin, you bitch, I’m coming for you!” Roxas added fiercely, looking straight at the camera. “Put your dukes up! We’ll go thirties style if you want, I got Jack Johnson and Tim ‘O Leary right here for ya!” Roxas baited, raising his fists up to the screen. “I’ll fight you any day you want, too, ‘Mr. King Of The Internet’. ‘Mr. Internet Cool’. ‘Mr. Doctor Of Style 2014’! Except you’re from Jersey… and you don’t know what’s cool…” Roxas began dwindling down in terms of intenseness. “Dammit!” Was his last line. He then asked if he fully answered the question and if we could move on, to which Ansem told him he did and he could.

 

“Okay, so, moving on. Question two, from ventusluv006. He asks, ‘Why did you say ‘Who else will I have ice cream with?" Was that really all you had to say to Xion?’ Well, yes, that was all I had to say to her. I mean, what else did you want me say? That I loved her? That I wanted her? That I wanted to give her the old one-two, maybe ‘cure her chest cold’, is that what you wanted?! If so, then all of you people out there can eat me… yeah. I mean, first off, it was scripted, so I didn’t even mean any of that, I was just playing the part. Xion, the woman in question, is sitting over here drinking coffee!” Roxas pointed out backstage, where Xion was sitting down in a chair, and indeed drinking coffee. She also appeared to be a bit camera shy.

 

“And second off, as far as my character goes: … its a metaphor. The ice cream is a metaphor for our friendship. The sense of… unity and trust that only me and my pals had was brought together by the face that we all ate ice cream on the damn tower together!” Roxas then slowed down for a second and began to speak more calmly. “I’m not stupid people. No, I’m not, I read and listen to everything you say, whether you’re somebody that wants me and Xion to be together, or if you’re just a smart ass trying to poke fun at me and the script… but you know what? I’m done with it. Because as far as I’m concerned, I shouldn’t have to put up with this nonsense anymore. If you have a complaint about that one measly line in one game, then send all your concerns to the man who wrote it, not me. And while you’re at it, ask him if I’m gonna be playable in KHIII or not.” Roxas finished and shuffled through his papers once more.

 

“Question number three, from GaryMFOak. I had a neighbor named Gary once… he moved away. He had an old school Mustang II… like the Cobra IIs, the ones that were worthless. It was always breaking down. My mom gave him a jumpstart once. She gave him something else too…” Roxas said, trailing off and trying to recollect his memory.

 

“Let’s not go there,” a snarky voice from backstage said, the voice belonging to Braig.

 

Roxas immediately whipped his head around towards Braig. “I was talking about a cup of sugar!” Roxas said defensively. 

 

“I bet that sugar was really sweet, too,” Braig continued to mock, which only made Roxas angry.

 

“The hell are you talkin’-… oh, you s-how dare you talk about my mother like that?!” Roxas boomed, with Braig just laughing it off. “You can put Braig-Braig is on the list of people I’m gonna fight,” Roxas said to the camera. “… That ain’t right-oh, okay what, okay what, he’s making fun of my mother and I’m just supposed to move on, I’m not even supposed to put it over?” He then asked Xemnas, who was egging him to continue to the question.

 

“You know what, what if I made fun of your mom, would that get us to fight? ‘Cuz I’ll make fun of her right now. I will,” Roxas joked, swinging his arm like he was ready to throw a punch. Xemnas again waved it off and just told Roxas to drop it and move on. “I hate you,” was Roxas’s response. “But, Braig, I-I-I’m only halfway sour on you, only halfway… because you’re a smart guy.”

 

“I know I am,” Braig said, inflating his ego.

 

“Ahem. Gary says, ‘I’m a huge ‘Survivor’ fan. Have you ever watched the show? If so, do you think you can handle the challenge of being stranded on an island with strangers so you could win the million dollars?’ I haven’t really seen the show, I know the concept. I would be horrible. Folks, I’m domesticated… yes, I like the simple things in life: cars, cold beer, nice slow bar with a pool table and a jukebox, the strip club, and once in a while a good medium rare steak, but I need these things… to survive. I would hop off that island and swim for shore. That’s it. I’d lose, I’d be the first one off, I’d say ‘vote me off, I’m done, this is it, I can’t do it’. My hat’s off to the people on ‘Survivor’, I see the stuff that they go through… its brutal. I couldn’t do it, I’m fully a slave to society. I’m domesticated. Count me out of the million dollars, it just wouldn’t happen… but is there a way to get Xenmas stranded on an island with Aladdin? Maybe we can get a show outta that,” Roxas joked, causing many of the cast members to chuckled (except of course for you-know-who).

 

“Question number four. DroolyMooly says, ‘I saw ‘The Da Vinci Code’ reboot this weekend, and it was okay. It seems to stir up some controversy just like the last one did. Have you seen it and what did you think?’ No, I did not see that movie. I was too busy seeing ‘Spying All Wicked!’ One of the most gruesome, disturbing movies of all time,” Roxas admitted, getting a pop from Kairi backstage, as well as a few other people. “You wanna know about ‘The Da Vinci Code’? I’ll tell you about it: I didn’t see it because the Da Vinci Code… is one, two, three, four. Its the same combination that I have on my luggage! … That’s why I didn’t see it! I would rather pay eight bucks or ten bucks or whatever the hell they’re chargin’, get the big over grossed, over buttered popcorn, Raisinettes, Goobers, jujubes, gummy bears, a Coke the size of a backpack, and watch a chick swallow a cell phone!! … Where could you see people getting mangled with hooks? ‘Spy All Wicked’. That’s where. I beat Da Vinci up in junior high, stuffed him in his own locker and changed his code. And he’s trying to get out, so he’s making a whole damn movie about himself. Alright? Yeah, sure he can paint… but what does he know about ripping people’s eyeballs out, huh? Huh??” He said, looking over to Kairi who was a little thrown back by Roxas’s rant. Roxas then starting laughing, trying to sound like a madman, but eventually he lost his breath.

 

“Breath, Roxas, breath! Geez!” Kairi said, chuckling.

 

“It’s okay. I’m cool… whoo… just trying to, uh, you know, entertain and what not. Okay then, last question,” Roxas said, holding up his papers. “WhitePond writes, ‘Hey Roxas, Disney has had a lot of great and memorable characters over the years. If you were to be a Disney character, who would you be?” As Roxas read this question he starting getting giddy, and then proceeded to laugh out loud after he read it. “The day is mine! This one’s easy… I would wear a fez… hang out with a monkey, a genie, and a carpet… and spend my time on my computer, ranting like a baby about how the Random section of the forums needs to be more orderly, and on the side, I would entertain ladies by swinging my monkey around, granting them wishes with my genie, and give them all a magic carpet ride… what would I call myself? So many options…” Roxas began rubbing his hands together, the others anticipating his answer. “I think I’ll go with…Ali. Prince Ali. The worst… character… of the entire Disney franchise, of all time!” The cast members began laughing hysterically. For those of you who don’t know, Prince Ali was an alias that Aladdin used in his movie. However, it was also used as a alias for when Aladdin began acting in other films; one such film that Roxas was referencing was of the… adult variety.

 

“A.K.A. … Aladdin. And for a grizzled four weeks of Five Questions, this is Roxas A.K.A…. Prince Ali, saying… we’re done.” Roxas crumpled the papers into a ball and threw it backstage, over the camera, and then went over to join his follow cast members in the riot he had caused over his last question, while the person they were making fun of… well, you know.

 

This is definitely going to cause our friend Aladdin to be angry with us. And even if it doesn’t, I have a feeling that the cast members will retaliate no matter how bad his reaction is. To be honest, I don’t blame him. Especially since he didn’t let me move out all my stuff before we had to leave the last studio… so yeah, at this point, all bets are off. Now we just have to wait to see what ‘Prince Ali’ has to say next…

 

And there you have it. Another week, another opportunity to make Aladdin look stupid. Next week, we're gonna have Roxa's pal Lea take the stage, so please leave some questions for Number Eight of the Organization. Go on now, you know you want to.


Edited by Firaga Sensei, 20 January 2015 - 08:35 PM.


#22 Yukiteru Amano

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Posted 14 September 2014 - 08:51 PM

Hey Axel/Lea, where did you get the phrase "Got it Memorized?" from? I like it.



#23 KHLegendIII

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Posted 14 September 2014 - 08:56 PM

Hey Axel/Lea, have you ever heard of Five Nights At Freddy's, and it's upcoming 2015 sequel? If so, what would you do if you were the security guard? Would you get out of that pizzeria? Or would you set the Animatronics on fire?



#24 Ultimus Grid

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Posted 15 September 2014 - 06:08 PM

Say, Lea, I know this is a longshot without anything confirmed, but what are the chances of you beating or saving Isa from Xehanort in KH3?



#25 Firaga

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Posted 20 September 2014 - 08:28 PM

Oh boy... this is gonna be something, let me tell you. Let's just get right to it...

 

Disclaimer: The following is a non-profit, fan based forum story thingy. Kingdom Hearts and all its respective properties belong to Disney, Square Enix, and Tetsuya Nomura. Some elements of the universe may be changed, some character personalities may be altered or be “quirky”, and some fictional events may be mentioned or discussed all for the sake of comedy. Don't take any of this seriously, its all for fun.

 

Episode V (9/20/14)

 

Today was not a good day. Because of what happened recently, on top of us being kicked out of our studio only two weeks ago, the cast was solemn, and sort of a mix of both sad, pissed, concerned, and a bunch of other emotions. It was more uncomfortable than giving your friend a dildo for his birthday in front of his family.

 

Dildo metaphors aside, It was still time once again to change lives, five questions at a time, and as they say, the show must go on. This week’s host was what I would call a victim of the “One Night Stand” controversy, the man who sent Aladdin the prank email: Lea. He was a tall and slender man, with spiky red hair and wearing a yellow scarf, sleeveless orange jacket, tan pants, and red sneakers. He was usually a very uppity type of person, but after what happened to him recently, he was feeling rather disappointed with himself. Then, the camera began rolling.

 

“… First things first…” Lea started. “On the, uh…” Lea was trying hard to address the elephant in the room. “The, uh, aftermath of ‘One Night Stand’… I’d like to apologize to every fan of EFW and every fan of me… um, some of you who I might have left down, some of you who might not even be fans of me but fans of the EWF in general. Uh… I really do want to apologize… and, uh, I can only promise that I’m gonna keep doing what I’m gonna do, and if I offended you or let you down in anyway by my actions at ‘One Night Stand’ or whatever happened at ‘One Night Stand’, the best I can say is sorry. I will also add that an individual’s character is not measured by how much he thrives on the momentum of success… it’s what he does when he bounces back from defeat. I’m in knee deep shit right now. And I got two choices: I can take the low road and become a small piece of fine print in EFW history…” Lea took a moment to breath in, clear his throat, and stand up straight.

 

“Or we do what we’re gonna do… we get back on the mother f*cking wagon and ride it ‘till the wheels fall off, baby!” Lea said, suddenly exploding with confidence. “I don’t care if its ‘Five Questions’ without me and Terra as the champs, you here on ‘Five Questions’! Take the champs, kick it out the door, cuz we’re coming for ya, FBB! Whether it’s FBB, NBA, CIA, who ever’s holding that gold, we got some focus! We’re bad men, but don’t get it twisted, I’m the pretty one,” Lead arrogantly stated, smiling for the camera. “But I’m a bad mother f*cker, too! You get me once, it’s my own fault, you get me twice, I’ll give you some respect! But in your house, with your rules, with your friends… We knew exactly what was coming. My hat’s off to ya, FBB, you snuck one… these are my words, and this is going right on the home page, cuz they hate it when you predict this shit… ‘there will not be a second time’. We’re coming for you, brother… and as far as Aladdin goes… not even an issue, cuz if me and Terra are ready to scrap with two big ass Fat Bandits, we ain’t gonna be scared of no wimpy chickenshit in a fez!” Lea prouldly stated. His words were enough to get the cast motivated again, especially his tag partner Terra, who was hanging on to every word.

 

“Now then, let’s start the show. Question one. DeeJay writes, ‘Traveling around the world on tour with EFK as well as for Kingdom Hearts related business, you get to go to many places. However, I’m sure that you really enjoyed your visit last week to Las Vegas.’ Of course I did, its Las Vegas, baby. ‘You got the hotels, the gambling, and the beautiful women; what was your favorite thing about Las Vegas and what was your game of choice?’” Lea chuckled a bit. “DeeJay, you’re throwing me a softball here. We got poker, blackjack, and roulette, first off… and what is my favorite part of Vegas? Anything’s legal! Anything! And trust me, last week I indeed was… ready for everything, heh. So my favorite part of Vegas is that anything is legal. What is my game of choice between roulette, blackjack, and poker? It’s obviously poker, and hoping that she asks for seconds! Badum, tsst!” Lea blurted out, doing an imaginary rimshot and making the cast laugh.

 

“Anything goes, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, even Ansem popped on that one!” Lea pointed out, as the usual wise and quiet Ansem was indeed laughing as well. “Thank you very much, poker is my game. Oh yeah, and just to clarify: yes, Luxord was also at Vegas, and yes he won a ton of money. Thank you again,” Lea finished, giving a nod to Luxord in the back, who in return winked to the camera.

 

“Question number two. RedAmmo writes, “Dear Axel, I was not upset that you and Terra lost the tag titles at ‘One Night Stand’. Whew. Weight off my shoulders right there. ‘Rob and Bob Bandit are tremendous fighters, and deserve to be champions’. That I do agree with. After the dust is settled, I can take my hat off to Rob and Bob because they have had a long, illustrious career, and its a fantastic cap to that. Let’s just see what they do with it now that they got it. Ahem, ‘In fact, I screamed so loud when they won, I woke up my little brother’… okay, now here’s the kick in the nuts, heh,” Lea chuckled, with the cast and I already knowing what was coming.

 

“‘Would you consider this the worst defeat of your career?’ Ooh, ahh…” Lea pretended like he literally got kicked in the nuts. “As of now, yes. Why, because, uh… this was one where I didn’t really get a chance to show what I got and it was mostly my fault that it happened, I admit… and, you know me. I gotta go where the tide takes me, so to speak. Uh, anytime you lose, i-i-it hurts your spirit, and I know my boy Terra was hurting too, but we’re not the sort of people who can tell you who we fought six months ago or tell you if we won or lost how we did. We can tell you what happened last night. And as of now, we’re a little bit upset at what happened last night. So right now, yes, this is the worst loss of our career. What are we gonna do? We’re gonna look forward to today, tomorrow, and the next day. If we spend all our time blubbering about our loss, we’ll just be a couple of dumbshits. So focus up, look forward to tomorrow, and keep kicking ass, that’s all we can hope for, know what I mean? Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Alright,” Lea said, shuffling his papers to answer the next question, and once again, Terra gave his approval on everything that Lea was saying.

 

“Hank…? Why do you drink? Why do you roll smoke? Why do you live out the songs that you wrote?… There’s two Hank Williams Jr. fans out there, and both of them got it. As for the rest of you, I’m just wasting your lives, just like I do every week. Thank you for hanging on,” Lea said, putting a hand to his chest.

 

“I got it, actually,” Sora commented from backstage.

 

“You did?” Riku and Kairi asked.

 

“Yeah, I dabble in country once in a while. Don’t you?”

 

“No…” Kairi responded.

 

“I dabble in a lot of things, but not country music.” Riku said, with Sora and Kairi giving a simultaneous “We know.”

 

Back to Lea: “Anyways, Ultimus Grid asks, ‘Say, Lea, I know this is a longshot without anything confirmed, but what are the chances of you beating or saving Isa from Xehanort in KH3?’ Like we’ve pointed out before, we don’t determine those kind of things. We’re actors following a script and Isa and I aren’t really that close in real life at all. So again, if you wanna know these things, the only person who can really give you a solid answer is the big man upstairs. Still, if you want my opinion… uh, well, I don’t really think he needs to be saved nor does my character want him to be saved, really… and besides, Isa hangs around Xemnas too much, so that’s something to watch out for. Yeah, I said it,” Lea turned his attention backstrage to a now frowning Isa. “You better watch yourself, pal… hanging around with Mansex over there will get you nothing but trouble, let me tell you,” he added, raising his eyebrows up and down to emphasize his point.

 

“Now then, for the last question. Baywatch writes, ‘Lea, ‘One Night Stand’ was a great show.’ Lot of positive feedback for ‘One Night Stand’. ‘The matches especially and the fans were unbelievable.’ I agree to that.”

 

Just to clarify, the fans that attended ‘One Night Stand’ were divided into two categories: the fans of the new EKF and fans of the old EKF. The old fans dominated over the new ones, and they could be heard very clearly among them as the fans went on. The old fans were the type of people who thought the old was better than new, and going into Lea and Terra’s match against the Fat Bandit Brothers, they sided with the Brothers considering they were veterans and had been in the business longer than Lea and Terra.

 

“‘They were chanting some harsh comments at you and Terra during your match.’ That actually translated over the TV, uh, okay, heh. ‘Did they bother you or get into Terra’s head during the match, and was he worried when he fought the Brothers into the crowd? What was your favorite or most creative chant?’ Hmm..” Lea thought for a bit, deciding what he would say and also ready to give Terra’s thoughts for him; Terra trusted his partner enough to know what he was thinking and what he felt during that time.

 

“… You know, right when the fans walked into the building… like, as soon as they walk into the doors… FBB against me and Terra in the last match. As all the twenty-five hundred fans tear their ticket stub and sit down, the first thing they do… is chant ‘F*ck Lea and Terra’. Now, I thought that was pretty creative, but then the follow up, and they do this right after I leave too, is ‘Lea sucks cock’. I couldn’t believe just the… just the graphic… malice these people had towards me, heh. The crowd was intense and it was amazing. But it takes a lot to get in Terra’s head. I know that he was enjoying it, and he was enjoying it every single moment that they were enjoying it too.” Lea was stopped short when Xemnas decided to cut in, of course, and tell the viewers his opinion on what happened with Aladdin, mostly trying to get a rise out of him for screwing up with the email.

 

“What…? N-no, no, listen. Listen, you stupid son of a bitch, you-you’re just trying to book a f*cking cage match with me and Aladdin, everybody out there knows how I feel about the email and how we all feel about Aladdin.” Lea looks right at the camera. “He thinks we curse too f*cking much on the show, he thinks he’s in control of the whole f*cking web… you know what I gotta say to Aladdin, where were you at ‘One Night Stand’, huh? Where were you covering the scoop? EKF.com was there! Where was KH13.com?! You were afraid… you chickenshit. You were afraid, afraid of who? Not the fans… not the EFK fighters… you were afraid… of Mansex.” Immediately, after he said that, the cast went up into a quiet string of giggles and chortles.

 

Lea laughed to himself a little, maniacally like Roxas did before to boost the effect. “That’s right! You were afraid of Captain Battleship, A.K.A. Andrew Cherenknov, A.K.A. Inspector Kenji Murasame, and why?! … A.K.A. Leomon… and why? Because he’s a pussy… but you’re so much of a bigger pussy and you know he could beat the tar out of you!” Lea then looked to Xemnas. “Did I just call you tough in a roundabout sort of way? Alright, maybe we’re on the mend, maybe the feud’s over.” Lea chuckled to himself while Xemnas, for the first time on the show, smiled.

 

“Aladdin, if you got problems if this segment… we’re not hard to find. And I know what you’re gonna do. You’re probably gonna go on the internet and type up some little shit piece about the ‘Five Questions’ cast is too controversial and how they take the segment and run with it, but you know what? We have fun with this. These are the ten, maybe fifteen minutes of our lives where we can just vent to you guys,” Lea admitted, motioning his hand towards the camera. “And if there’s just five people out there every week, the same five who send us these questions, then who gives a shit?! Why? Because we barely get to interact with them that much, we’re so busy, so if this is another way for us to connect… then we thank you, KH13.com, for giving us the time to let our fans know that we’re alright, we’re doing okay, we may be losing it a little upstairs, but everything is still on the straight and narrow. And Aladdin? Shouldn’t have a f*cking problem with that. Let’s just knock that shit out.” Lea finished, walking away from the camera a proud man as the rest of the cast expressed their gratitude for what he had said all episode.

 

You see, this is why I decided to make ‘Five Questions’. It’s not about being silly, its not about being controversial. At the end of the day, its just a way for the fans to connect with their favorite characters and enjoy themselves. And it doesn’t matter what Aladdin or anybody else try to do about it. This is my show, and I’m not going to let anybody mess with it. I guarantee that. Aladdin can go and drop a bomb on us for all I care…

 

Well, that ended better then I thought it would. A lot actually. Now then, for next week's episode, we're gonna tag in Lea's partner Terra! Leave some questions and we'll see you next week!


Edited by Firaga Sensei, 13 January 2017 - 12:01 AM.


#26 Shulk

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Posted 20 September 2014 - 08:55 PM

I think I asked this in the last 5Q, but...

 

TERRA, WHY CAN'T YOU DOOOOOODGE?!



#27 Ultimus Grid

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Posted 20 September 2014 - 10:55 PM

Darn quote button

 

Darn it Shulk I wanted to ask that.  >.> xP  But more on the lines of :"Terra, why didn't you DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODGE Xehanort's heart?"



#28 ~DawnStar2004~

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Posted 21 September 2014 - 05:29 AM

*ask's riku if he'll marry me. FIVE FREAKIN' TIMES*



#29 Nero Kunivas

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Posted 27 September 2014 - 07:49 PM

Dear Terra,

 

Why did you say all of your Lines in BBS so badly? Were you given bad direction or did you just suck?

 

P.S: I don't hate you. At all. In case you were wondering.



#30 Firaga

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Posted 28 September 2014 - 03:58 PM

We're late to the party this week, sorry about that by the way, but a late episode is better than no episode, right? I'm sure you agree. Now then, let's get on with the show!

 

 

Disclaimer: The following is a non-profit, fan based forum story thingy. Kingdom Hearts and all its respective properties belong to Disney, Square Enix, and Tetsuya Nomura. Some elements of the universe may be changed, some character personalities may be altered or be “quirky”, and some fictional events may be mentioned or discussed all for the sake of comedy. Don't take any of this seriously, its all for fun.

 

Episode VI (9/27/14)

 

Going into this week, the cast was looking a lot better than they did last week. Nobody was even upset about our coffee-maker breaking down… again… I miss our old studio… ahem, anyways: today’s episode was bound to be exciting, and why? Because we had our good friend Terra hosting this week, Terra of course being Lea’s EFK tag partner, who was gracious enough to host this week after coming back from a week-long tour of live events around the world.

 

He stood in front of the camera, almost tall enough to have his head clipped out from the top frame. He had long messy brown hair, blue eyes, tan skin, and was wearing black wristbands, a black skin-tight shirt with two red stripes intersecting on top, a light brown hakama, and light brown sneakers. Yes, if this was not already obvious, the characters do not prefer to wear some of their more “eccentric” gear, such as Keyblade armor outside filming for the games, because well… let’s be honest, it looks silly.

 

The camera rolled, and Terra began speaking:

 

“I’ve been drinking dirty sanchez-es and street fighting all weekend!” Terra proudly proclaimed. “From the Pride Lands to here in Rochester, New York, its going doown, meet at the mall, its going dooown, and we are back here with questions in my hand to give you answers!” Terra finished, wiping his mouth. “We’re getting right to it this week folks. So listen up,” Terra added, not wanting to go into some kind of banter like previous hosts did.

 

“Well, he sure is a boring guy,” Riku commented from backstage.

 

“Or maybe he’s saving his thunder for the questions. Don’t knock him just yet, Riku, he gets paid to do stuff like this all the time,” Sora pointed out.

 

“Hey wait, I thought you was the hype man in their team?” Riku asked Lea, who was right next to him.

 

“I am. But that doesn’t mean Terra doesn’t know how to work the mic either. I’ve been teaching him lessons,” Lea said proudly.

 

“Oh really? Mind teaching me some of those lessons so I can get with the ladies? Women always love a smooth talker,” Riku asked, much to Lea’s chagrin.

 

“I don’t think so…” he answered.

 

“The only lesson you need to be taught is self-restraint,” Sora quipped. “And since Kairi isn’t here this week, I’ll do this for her.” Sora then face-palmed. Meanwhile, back with Terra:

 

“ShookerV, who will be attending tomorrow’s event, asks, ‘Ben Rodeorider from the Ryders recently got into a serious accident when he crashed while riding his white pony. Do you think athletes that have a responsibility to their team, fans, and owner should not put themselves on ponies or in other dangerous positions?’ Absolutely not. As a citizen of this great country, you are free to do whatever you want to, within the capabilities of the law, such as ride a pony, ride a motorcycle, bungie jumping, skydive…” He then looked to Ansem. “What’s that thing where you, uh, base jumping? Where you jump off a building or something, is that right?” Ansem confirmed that he was right. “Right. Athletes should be able to do what they want, but they also need to know that with every action is an equal and opposite reaction, look at me!” He cried, the camera zooming on his face where the aftermath of his week long tour could be seen, with a few healed cuts and bruises still present.

 

“I look like a hundred miles worth of bad road and…” He rubbed the top of his head. “I got a six dollar haircut, and I got problems! But I’m willing to deal with ‘em all. Put yourself on a pony or a motorcycle, you know you’re gonna fall. Put yourself in a speedboat, it might tip over. Go base jumping, you may fall. I think that’s the whole concept, but still. Ben is a friend of mine, and he’s a good worker in the EFK. He does a lot of shows in his hometown Pittsburg. And, uh, its bad news that this had to happen, but you got to know that his position as one of the Ryders, what he means to the city of Pittsburg, heck, what he means to us; Lea and I actually gave him a call after he won his match last month, but, uh, its a long story, anyways: when you’re in a dangerous situation like that, whether its a car, pony, motorcycle, motor scooter, speedboat, or a big wheel! Big wheels can get nasty too, kids out there, be careful. Bad things can happen. So just uh, buckle up and wear a helmet… or a full faced shield and some denim… denim is the key is everything. I want you know that. And I mean it too, I’m wearing jeans under my hakama. Denim. Its like printin’ money.”

 

“Now then, question number two! Fishcake says, “Terra, I’m an avid golfer, and I went to go see the KH13 Open live.’ Can you feel the excitement folks? Can you feel it? … Good. ‘I can’t believe that Reyn choked at the eighteenth hole.’ Now, I did not see this. I saw him take the afternoon on the eleventh.”

 

At this point, I and the others were surprised that Terra was talking about golf of all things, but continuing on:

 

“And then I was like ‘oh, he’s got in the bag’, does anybody know what happened?” Terra asked backstage. Somebody, who happened to be… Marluxia, of all people, explained what happened at the event to Terra. “Oh so he pulled a Roy McAvoy? ‘Tin Cup’?” Terra then looked back to the camera. “Okay so he chokes completely. Now, for those of you who don’t know: biggest golf event ever… ever in the world, guy takes the lead on the last day, j-just with a couple holes to go, he’s lookin’ good, and then he just shanks and it totally falls to pieces. If you don’t know what I mean, watch ‘Tin Cup’. The question goes on, ‘Throughout your career, have you ever been in a pressure situation and choked when everything was on the line?’” Terra started laughing, but in a sort of angry way. 

 

“Heh heh heh, Aladdin… you douchebag…” He sighed getting angrier by the second. “I know this is from you! ‘One Night Stand’! Did you see it, everybody saw it! If you didn’t see it, buy the replay, get the DVD, you wanna see a choke artist at work, fine!!” Terra calmed himself down a bit. “You know, everything on the line, the world watching, people on the web tuning in between infomercials. EFK tag titles on the line in the snake pit, one partner down, kid’s gonna go out there and show the world… show the world that he’s a choke artist, that’s what I’m talking about! Reyn, I feel your pain, and Aladdin: put this on your Mansex file!” Terra shouted, holding up a middle finger to the camera. “You like that, have another one!” Terra then held up his other hand and flipped off the camera, dropping his papers. “There you go, you stupid son of a bitch! Thanks for the question, asshole!” Terra then bent down to get his papers. “… Dropped my paper,” he clarified, brushing them off. It was at this point that the cast and I believed things were really going to go off the chain from here on out…

 

“Question number three… I’m pissed off now… FreezingEven writes, ‘Hey Terra, I love listening to hip hop and R&B music when I go to work out at my local gym. I usually listen to 50 Centurion or 2BecomePac blasting in my headphones. What kinda of music do you listen to when you work out prior to a match or when you work out?’ That doesn’t make any sense, but, uh, they wanna know what I listen to in the gym. I used to listen to heavy metal, like in the teenage years when I was a real meathead, I’d cover myself in chalk, wear extra small shirts, drink Gator smoothies all the time, and listen to heavy metal when I worked out, because you throw about big weights, and be big, hmmph!” Terra proclaimed, using exaggerated and almost caveman like speech to get his point across.

 

“And then one day, I walk into the gym, and, uh, I don’t know if you-you’ve probably seen it on EFK television, its a gym called Hard Nock’s, its the place with the hole in the wall. And you didn’t go there to run the treadmill or run on the stationary bike, you went in there to throw weight around. I-It was just a cave for meatheads. Always heavy metal, always music blasting. So I went in there one day and there was no music. The radio was broken, and the owner’s in there, who’s just as grizzled as you can get; he could be on the Saturday Night Live skit ‘Who’s More Grizzled’ and make everybody look horrible. So I’m like ‘Hey, what’s up with the music?!” You know, me pulling in with my music blasting, with my… uh, I don’t know What did I have back then?” Terra asked himself. Roxas, the other car aficionado on the cast, tried helping Terra out by throwing out a car model that Terra might have had back then.

 

“No, no, I wish, I had, uh, a 1992 Chevy S-10. It was a cab and it had the pick-up, you know, you had to drop the, uh, cabbed, you know what I’m talking about,” Terra explained to Roxas, then went back to the camera. “So yeah, I’m pulling in with my car, I’m the coolest son of a bitch on the block, I open the door and I say, “Hey, where’s the music?!” This guy, who knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried, looks at me straight in the eye and says, ‘You shouldn’t have to use music to get intense, Terra. Ya cock. Knuckle up and hit the f*cking squad rack’”. Terra said, impersonating the gym owner with a grizzled voice and facial impression.

 

“That’s Dave Knoc to a T. So it was at that point in my life that I realized that music did not matter, intensity and fire comes within! Have you noticed that I still kinda use it today? Heh. The day before matches, during normal workouts, whatever the occasion is, whatever’s playing at the gym is just fine. It could be Jewel, could be John Denver. Take me home, country roads. I’ll still do what I can with it. It’s when I go through that curtain and feel the energy of the fans, that gets me fired up right here,” Terra said, pointing to his heart. “And just a little bit right here,” Terra added, jokingly pointed to his neck.

 

“Alright, question number four, from SuperiorKunivas. He writes, ‘Why did you say all of your Lines in BBS so badly? Were you given bad direction or did you just suck?’ This is something that I’ve had to answer a lot, believe it or not. Uh, heh, and you know what, to tell you the truth, yes. On both accords I mean. Like, it was my first game, I was a new guy, I hadn’t really had that much experience in acting yet, they sorta just picked me because, you know, I had the look, I had the guns, and I had the moxy. Still, even with all that, uh, it didn’t go too well f-what you need to understand about acting is that its a two man job, and not just because I was a rookie back then. Not only do you need to perform well and follow the script, but the director has to lead you in the right direction. And of course, I was sort of lead the wrong direction in Birth By Sleep. I was just, uh, you know, stoic, bland, didn’t really care too much about getting into it, just wanted to get my first gig done, kinda nervous, and the director didn’t seem to pick up on it. I guess he thought my looks would outshine my shitty performance… heh… but it’s all good. Why? Because now on top of being both in the games as well as EFK, cutting promos and interviews, I am growing better as a showman and as an actor, and I can also thank my pal Lea for teaching me and showing me the right way so that I can get better. I owe a lot to Lea, we’re pretty much like brothers now. Real tight,” Terra said, receiving a nod from Lea backstage.

 

“Ahem, now to close out. Question number five, AkuTimesRoku writes, ‘Hey Terra, I can picture you and your friends being like the gang in the show ‘Entourage’. You would be the big star and all your friends would live the good life because of you’? Is this right?” He asked Ansem, who confirmed it to be so. “You see I’m not familiar with the show. Um… and yeah, I don’t live on planet Earth, I’m a mutant. ‘I was wondering if you treat your friends the same way like they do on the show’. No. Absolutely not. There’s no big star, no nothing, you guys know me. I just wanna wear my own t-shirt, crack open some Coors Light, and go to the Dinosaur Grill afterwards. Get a rack of ribs, with somebody who used to be my friend!-“ At this point, Terra was speaking backstage towards Xemnas of all people, who, yes, used to be good friends with Terra until he became… well, you know.

 

“-Who used to wanna hang out! Not just film ‘Five Questions’! ‘We gotta film ‘Five Questions’, we gotta film ‘Five Questions’!’ What happened to you, man?” Terra asked. Xemnas then tried to defend his case.

 

“N-no, I’m s-no, you’re still here, I’m looking at you right now, you changed is what I’m talking about! Look, you’re not even looking at me, you’re watching the monitor!” Terra claimed, pointing to the side where the monitor that Xemnas was indeed looking at was. Xemnas tried once again to defend what he said. It didn’t help that Saix was standing there, supporting what Xemnas was saying.

 

“No, you changed, this is probably your question, ‘big star’. You’re the big star!” Finally, Xemnas gave up, and redirected the conversation to the question, asking if Terra really did treat his friends like if they were in ‘Entourage’ or not.

 

“No, that ain’t how it is,” Terra confirmed, turning back to the camera and pointing. “Everybody pulls weight. Everybody pulls weight. Each one of my friends works damn hard for whatever they got for a livin’ and I’m proud of each and every one of them. Nobody is a sandbagger, nobody is a saddlebagger, or as Terrene Funk would say, ‘nobody is a saddle of shit’. It would not be like ‘Entourage’. I don’t like rolling in with a big group of people that are just watching your back like that, I like rolling in on level with everybody. Everybody fights for what they got and I’m proud to hang with ‘em and I respect what they do for a living, I don’t care if’s a teacher, a guidance counselor, a cop or… I know some guys who are on the pro-drunk tour, but that’s alright, they earn it. Every night, they earn it. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. That is the end of this week’s ‘Five Questions’, and just right after we started to get derailed. The train’s gone out of control, but that’s alright, because we’re done. And nobody is gonna judge because like I said, everybody pulls weight. I do, the others do, Firaga Sensei does, everybody does! … Good day.” Terra finished, receiving praise from his fellow cast members for his performance as well as Lea for highlighting him during the episode.

 

 

Ah, another good cap to a rather outstanding week, if I do say so myself. I’m not even upset about the coffee machine anymore… I barely drink coffee anyway. But that’s just the kind of effect that ‘Five Questions’ can have on a person. It’s a great experience, and I know many people who can agree with me on that.

 

Man, that episode was fun to do. And I guarantee that next episode will be fun too, an episode that will star Terra's buddy Ventus! Leave your questions below!


Edited by Firaga Sensei, 22 November 2014 - 02:47 PM.


#31 KHLegendIII

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Posted 03 October 2014 - 06:39 PM

Hey Ventus, have you ever played Five Nights At Freddy's? And have you heard baout it's lore? And the fact that Mike or the Phone Guy had something to do with a certain newspaper poster in the East Hall? 



#32 Killua0707

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    When I say it doesn't hurt, it means I can bear it

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Posted 03 October 2014 - 06:43 PM

 Ventus, 

 

   I would like to know why you wield your keyblade a different way.  



#33 Firaga

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Posted 05 October 2014 - 07:46 PM

Back once again for another installment of Five Questions, and I apologize but this episode might seem a bit outdated. Why, because this wss originally supposed to go up tomorrow, but uh, some stuff got in the way and I couldn't finish it until now. Even so, I hope you enjoy!

 

Disclaimer: The following is a non-profit, fan based forum story thingy. Kingdom Hearts and all its respective properties belong to Disney, Square Enix, and Tetsuya Nomura. Some elements of the universe may be changed, some character personalities may be altered or be “quirky”, and some fictional events may be mentioned or discussed all for the sake of comedy. Don't take any of this seriously, its all for fun.

 
Episode VII: 10/3/14
 
I wish I could say that the good time-y kind of vibe that we had last week continued on into this week, but after the… incident that occurred, it was quite the opposite. Most people were either mad or… actually, everybody was mad. They weren’t mad at each other, thank goodness, so it was not exactly a hotbed of anger building up around the studio. Still, if there was one person who was the most pissed off out of all of us, it would be the man that, despite being involved in the assault yesterday, graciously chose to host this week: Ventus, a.k.a. Roxas’s twin brother. Ventus looked exactly like Roxas in terms of facial features and even hairstyle, but unlike Roxas, he was wearing a grey shirt under a half black, half white jacket, grey pants, dark grey shoes, and wearing a checkered wristband on his left wrist, and again, he was not wearing any Keyblade armor. Seriously, you try to wear that in public. I don’t care who you are.
 
You see, Ventus was lucky enough to sustain minor injuries from the scuffle, but Aqua needed to stay in the hospital for a little while longer. Still, he had some battle scars, and it showed: on his face, you could see that he had a black eye, his right eye bearing a rough black shadow under it. 
 
The camera rolled, and everybody knew the first thing Ventus would do was address what happened. Ventus is normally a pretty easy-going guy, so it is interesting to think how he would handle this.
 
“You see this?” He said, pointing to his eye. “I know who’s behind this… it’s you,” he added, pointing to the camera. “You’re sittin’ at your office watching, waiting for me to fly off the handle right? Well, I know who’s behind this-” Ventus began counting off his fingers from five, “-and I am about to fly off the handle in two seconds…” He counted off the last two fingers on his hand.
 
“BECAUSE ITS F*CKING ALADDIN!” Ventus screamed, which I admit was not the reaction we had all expected, so we began chuckling a bit. “Don’t you laugh, I’m serious!!” Ventus shouted backstage, immediately shutting us up, knowing he was right anyways.
 
“… Ever since he got that f*cking job at the internet, he’s had it out for me and had it out for you! Why, because he wants to control all content on the internet!” Ventus stated almost sarcastically. “And he doesn’t like it when we curse, well fine, I’ll try not to curse. For five seconds. F*ck, I couldn’t do it! … You listen to me, Aladdin and you listen good, I want you to remember that before you even got this stinkin’ job, you were parading around a studio in nothing but your fez and a diaper, and you were the one making ‘controversial content’ making movies about girls getting their freak on with you, a genie, and a monkey!! … So you know what? You wanna cause us problems? You wanna play Mr. High & Mighty?… Suck… my… dick… Aladdin. I’m gonna do these five questions… and I’m gonna do them better than anybody else has before me. And we’re gonna start this thing… now.” The air grew a mix of uncomfortable for a second after the image that Ventus described ran through our heads, but then we all felt better knowing how hilarious it was at the same time. Needless to say, Ventus was really raising the bar so far in the show.
 
“Question one, GoopyLonghorn says, ‘I was looking on KH13.com and I saw the finals for the Kingdom Hearts Girls Cosplay Contest. These chicks are smokin’!’ He actually wrote ‘smokin’’, and yes, they are. Man, are they smokin’. “Have you met any of them, and do you anything crazy planned for this week’s competition?” I have not met them yet. I believe they will appearing at a local con soon, and when they do… oh I have plans. I have lots of plans. It involves one member of the Mushroom XIII, a set of children’s golf clubs, a Nerf football, Peter Pan Chunky, Extra Crispy Peanut Butter… and a Waffle House omlet… you can figure that one out.” Nobody could. And nobody dared tried.
 
“Aw, geez, that was worse than when Riku did that!” Sora said in disgust.
 
“What are you talking about? The kid’s a genius! I’ve taught him well, I have,” Riku said proudly.
 
“Wait, you taught to say that stuff?!” Sora said, shocked.
 
“Yes I did. That guy is gonna go places, I guarantee it,” Riku said, shrugging off Sora’s concern.
 
“The only place he’s going is straight to the fiery pits of the Underworld! Agh, why do you do these things, Riku?!” Sora said, having enough of Riku’s shenanigans and walking back to his trailer.
 
“… Eh. He’ll be fine. You’ll see,” Riku assuredly said to himself. Hopefully we’ll never get to see if he is right or not. 
 
Back with Ventus: “Question two! BWO4Life says, “Hey Ventus, I watched ‘Vengance’ Sunday night and it was awesome.’ I agree. Hell of a pay-per-view. ‘ My favorite match was the Powerwilds versus the Mad Riders. I love that the Powerwilds are back. They always know how to entertain, and Powerwild George forcing Mad Rider Mitch to kiss Powerwild Diddy’s ass after the match was the greatest thing ever.’ Oh-ho-ho-ho, no it wasn’t, but I’ll read on. ‘If you were a member of the EFK, would you team up with the Powerwilds?’ It’s funny you ask that, because after the pay-per-view goes off the air, the stuff that you didn’t see, the stuff you can see on the DVD extras, ha, and you gotta get this for this very reason. The Powerwilds stay in the ring, after Mitch gets the old… dirty Sanchez.. they stay in the ring and they begin to interact with the great people, the fans if you will. Powerwild Diddy, in old school Powerwilds fashion: sophomoric antics, starts to do a little bit of this-” Ventus then did a motion where he simulated lifting up his shirt, “-to the people. There’s this one fat guy who’s, uh, four hundred pounds too heavy… he’s got too much and he shows what he’s got to offer, but that’s not what I’m talking about, what I am talking about is the lovely young lasses in the crowd… showing us the bountiful fruits of Mother Nature…” Ventus had a stupid looking grin on his face as he said this. “Two at a time! Oh, its on there. Get the DVD, you’ll thank me. You will thank me. Would I do anything with the Powerwilds? Yes! I’d get in the ring and say ‘Please show me your boobies! Show me your boobies!’ Because that, to me… was fun. Who doesn’t like boobies? You know? I mean, with lesbianism being so chique nowadays, I can’t just what guy doesn’t like boobies. Who doesn’t like boobies? Everybody does! From the second you’re born, its the first thing you attach yourself to… Who… doesn’t like boobies?”
 
From the back, Ventus “teacher” Riku gave him a possible answer. Ventus immediatley looked to Riku and his eyes lighted up.
 
“You’re right… you’re f*cking right. Aladdin! Aladdin doesn’t like boobies, wait a second!” Ventus ecstatically proclaimed to the camera. “In the long list of people who don’t like boobies, there is one name… and its the name of the dirtiest douchebag I’ve ever run across in my life… somebody I’d just like to stomp on his head until my foot’s covered in brains… F*cking Aladdin… you don’t like boobies. And now everybody else hates you,” Ventus finished, using a dark tone to lace his words against Aladdin, to which the entire cast starting laughing up a storm. No matter how dark it may have gotten at the end, it was still pretty damn funny.
 
“Ha ha, see? I taught him that!” Riku said to Lea and Braig.
 
“What, wanting to stomp on Aladdin’s head?” Braig asked.
 
“Well, no, I mean that’s cool too, but I meant the part about boobies!” Riku pointed out.
 
“Listen hotshot, I think you’re getting a little over your head with this,” Lea cautioned.
 
“Trust me, Red, this guy is a prodigy. He’s gonna be as great a ladies man as I am. Just wait until he starts hunting for skirt, he’ll be a natural at all,” Riku assured.
 
“… I give him a week,” Lea blantaly shared.
 
“I give him eleven minutes,” Braig snarked, both his and Lea’s remarks making Riku pout in frustration.
 
“Alright, GNPark, questions three: ‘Hey Ventus, I know that you were just in my hometown of Rochester, NY for a KH event, and you and the other cast members always travel all around the world and eat at favorite restaurants. My favorite restaurant is the Dinosaur Barbeque. They have the best ribs.’ Didn’t taste the ribs that night, I was too bombarded by Jack Daniels. I sat down with my brother Roxas, the first time we’ve hanged out with just each other in what seems like years… we kinda glanced at each other to see at what kinda pace the night would be, I ordered the first round and then like a Tennessee waterfall, the whisky poured smooth with a strong, finishing kick… to the point where, I don’t quite remember how we got back home, and I don’t remember what we did in the restaurant. So if you were there and I offended you, I’m sorry. But I had a damn family reunion! So what if we’re a couple of drunks, who cares?! You’re gonna have to deal with that, and why? One reason: I… like… boobies,” Ventus stated, making the others, especially his brother laugh. But of course, Xemnas felt the comment was unnecessary.
 
“No, don’t you curse me, everybody does!” Ventus responded. “Except for Aladdin…” Ventus held up a middle finger to the camera. “That’s for you, brother. That’s for you. Anyways-“ Ventus looked back at the papers. “-Park also asks, ‘What are your top three restaurants that you visit while you’re traveling?’ That’s a tough one… uh… Waffle House. Why, because you can just see ‘em desecrate your food with grease and lard… and that just makes me feel at home. Two, McDonalds. Why, because of the Dollar Menu. Two double cheeseburgers, two McChicken sandwiches, ‘that’ll be four bucks’, and I’m full! For four f*cking dollars! Thank you, Ray Croc! You are americana! … I’m lovin’ it. I’m one of the billions and billions served, I eat McDonalds at least ten times a week. Can I get a deal? Can I get some free double cheeseburgers, if you’re listening, Ronald? I’m good with the kids. Plus I like boobies. That’d be weird. Forget I said that, ah, I’m trailin’ off. Anyway, number one’s the Waffle House, number two’s McDonalds, and number three…” Ventus rubbed his chin and thought to himself for a moment. “I gotta go with Outback Steakhouse. I’ve got to. Just because it’s solid. It’s a solid commitment to consistent food. You can sit down there and get a great steak every time you eat. That got that whole onion thing that looks like… boobies. Blegh, sorry, my mind’s just on uh-uh, yeah, the Booby Oni-the Blooming Onion. Sorry, bombarded by the last pay-per-view,” Ventus said, rubbing his face and pulling himself together. “I’m telling you though, you’ll thank me in the morning. Anyway, Outback is consistent, they got cold beer, which flows like whine… which flows like water. Thank you Pete Coors. McDonalds in the number two spot, and then Waffle House for that southern hospitality, scattered, covered, and smothered, is the number one restaurant ever. All of time… it’d be even better if they showed boobies,” Ventus said, this time making Xemnas copy Kairi and face-palm.
 
“Question four. SpiritMuncher writes, ‘‘Big Hero Six’ hits theaters next month, and I already have tickets to see it. Do you like any comic book heroes as a kid, and if you could play a comic book hero in a movie, who would it be?’ That’s simple! I would be Andy Capp! … Why? Because the man invented his own potato chips and called them fries! ‘Andy Capp’s Fries’! But they’re not fries. Fries you get at Burger King, Wendy’s, McDonalds, they’re deep-fried and served hot and fresh. Andy Capp came up with a snack called ‘Andy Capp’s fries’ that are potato chips, but he reinvented the wheel and made the potato chips thin like potato sticks. But did he call them potato sticks, no! He called them fries! … That, my friends, is super… Andy Capp is who I’d be, and even though his wife’s ugly… she’s got some sweet boobies.” I have no idea what drove Ventus to address the question in the way he did, but if I had to guess, his head injuries from yesterday were resurfacing a bit. Either that, or he doesn’t read that many comics.
 
“Question number five! If you’re hangin’ with me this far, there’s no way I can offend you now, and if you’ve gone before this… it just wasn’t for you. It wasn’t your time, and I’m sorry. This is all in good fun. If you can’t take a joke… you shouldn’t be wasting your life with us, this is what what we do, its a throw-away of fifteen minutes. I’m gonna owe so many people so much time, I don’t know how I’m gonna repay it. Heh heh. Ahem, anyways, Tom13 writes: ‘Hey Ventus, have you ever played Five Nights At Freddy's? And have you heard about it's lore? And the fact that Mike or the Phone Guy had something to do with a certain newspaper poster in the East Hall?’ I don’t quite know the answer to this, but I have a theory on this one: one…of course, it’s Mansex, because he’s always getting involved in stuff like this… and two: its Roseanne Barr, because nobody has seen her in a while. She’s probably hiding out in secret. So if its Roseanne, I’m gonna run. And I’m on my way out I’m gonna yell, ‘Ah, show me your boobies, ah!’” Ventus said, turning around and pretending to run away while looking over his shoulder and seeing through his hand covering his face at, well, you know. He then turned back around. “And if its Mansex… there’s only one thing that I gotta do… say ‘f*ck you’” he simply stated, throwing up another middle finger to the camera. “… that’s ‘Five Questions’. I’m done,” Ventus chuckeld, walking away from the camera. From then on, he was approached by the others who questioned some of his answer choices for the episode, by Riku who praised him for his performance and use of ‘boobies’ in the show, all the while Mansex continued to brood in the corner.
 
What a day it was. It’s a shame that our dear Aqua had to miss this week’s taping. But if I know her, she’s watching this from her hospital bed, laughing and shaking her head along with the rest of us. Hopefully, she gets well soon.
 
And she will! I just now got a call from the hospital, conveniently, and they say that Aqua is clear to come back to work by next week, so to celebrate her return back, she'll be hosting 'Five Questions'! Leave your questions for the blue haired Keyblade Master below.

Edited by Firaga Sensei, 22 November 2014 - 02:59 PM.


#34 KHLegendIII

KHLegendIII
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Posted 05 October 2014 - 07:54 PM

Hey Aqua, how's your new model in the HD remastered version of Birth By Sleep Final Mix in Kingdom Hearts HD 2.5 ReMIX? And are you jealous Terra managed to get his cape after defeating Terranort in the HD remastered version?