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Grotesquery

Stay The Same (My entry for the KH13 talent contest)

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In which, is cataloged the final day leading up to Sora and Riku's departure from the Islands. Filled with as much unnecessary angst as possible from your favorite band of teenage hooligans. What could possibly go wrong?

 

Anyways, I hope you enjoy as much as is humanely possible.

 

                                                                                                            ~Stay the Same~

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Sora rolled over in his bed, unable to find any peace in the tumultuous night as countless thoughts rang through his head. He stared blankly at the objects hanging from his bedroom ceiling, his face stale and motionless as he lay completely still upon the tiny frame. His mind rang with thoughts of other worlds and friends met long ago, memories given new life by nothing more than a few simple words, a few harmless blots of ink.

 

“I wonder…” Sora muttered to himself. “Did that letter really change how I feel?”

 

Sora offered a slight sigh, as his eyes drifted shut, and his thoughts began to still. “Did I ever really come home?” He murmured. “Or, is my heart… still out there somewhere…?”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Riku trudged along the path to school; his shoulders hung low in exhaustion and defeat.  He struggled to keep his eyes open, as a slew of out-of-place rocks caused him to stumble along his stride. Slowly, Riku placed a hand upon his forehead, as if to somehow steady himself. “Playing catch-up is harder than I thought…” He chuckled slightly, before continuing, “And imagine, I used to think I was pretty quick, too…”

 

Suddenly, Riku’s attention was drawn away by an exuberant noise emanating not too far away from where he stood. Stopping his pace, Riku forced his eyes open, and looked around in confusion. To his surprise, he noticed Sora coming up on the path behind him, his ridiculous hair bouncing up and down as he waved for Riku’s attention. “Hey, Riku!” He called out, his expression as cheerful as usual.

Riku smiled lightly as his friend approached, waving back in response. Sora stopped before him, doubled-over in an attempt to catch his breath. “I’m… Glad… I… Caught up with you!” Sora panted between his words. Riku chuckled at the sight, some of his earlier exhaustion now forgotten. “What’s the hurry?” He asked, before turning back to continue his walk along the dirt path. “Last time I checked, you were never very keen on school, at least not enough to run towards it.” He stated.

 

Sora shot up and went to catch up with his friend. “Actually,” he started, “I wanted to talk to you about something.” Riku gave Sora a skeptical look, as he replied with, “Listen, if you need help with your home-work, than ask Kairi. I’m sure she’s better company, anyways.”

 

Sora looked back at Riku, confused, before shaking his head. “No, that’s not what I meant.” He answered. “I just wanted to ask you about the other worlds. Like, did you ever think about them before Mickey’s letter showed up? ” Sora asked. Riku looked straight ahead, his expression unflinching. “Of course I do. It’s not like those days are something I can forget.” He replied stoically.

 

Sora shook his head once more. “No, I mean… I guess...“ He stuttered slightly, “… Look, what I want to ask is, have you ever felt like you wanted to go back before?” Riku slowed his pace minutely, yet still showed no real sign of hesitation as he replied with, “You’re not still trying to decide whether or not you want to stay here, are you?”

 

Sora’s eyes widened, as he quickly turned away. “I don’t know.” He answered, a conflicted tone to his voice. “ It’s just… Well, there’s something that’s been kinda bothering me, lately.” He said. “I've felt like there’s been something off about this place, ever since we got back. I hate to admit it…” he began, his face contorting into an expression of shame. “… But when I read that letter, I almost felt relived. How terrible is that? To think, after everything that’s happened, I might actually want to leave the islands now…”

 

Riku stopped. Sora, after following suit, looked over at him with a troubled gaze, as he waited for some kind of response. All in all, Riku looked confused. “But why?” he asked Sora. “I thought you were happy here. Plus, there’s Kairi to think about… It can’t be easy, let alone desirable, to leave everything behind after all we’ve been through.” Sora shook his head, frustrated at Riku’s statements. “I know, I know…” He said. “But, look, just hear me out.” Sora continued. “I know this is going to sound crazy, out of nowhere, and down-right horrible. But ever since we came back, don’t you think Kairi’s been acting… weird?”

 

“Weird?” Riku asked, his eyebrow arched questioningly. “Weird how?” He finished. “I don’t know,” Sora answered. “It feels like she used to be so open about everything, especially when she was with us. But now, it almost feels like she’s trying to hide from you and me. I mean, in all the time we’ve been here, I don’t think the three of us have spent even half a day together!” Sora exclaimed, waving his arms in an exaggerated manner. “Come on, if you remember anything about when we were kids, you’d agree that’s crazy.” He finished.

 

Riku simply shook his head in dismissal. “You know what, I think you’re just looking too deep into things.” He replied, flatly. “This whole transition has been hard for all of us. You can’t expect everyone to adjust so easily. Kairi especially, has had a rough time of it. And tha that’s all there is too it, Sora. Now, I say you drop this, before you end up saying or doing something we’ll all regret.” With that, Riku brushed past Sora, and continued on towards the school.  Sora looked back at him one last time, a hint of doubt still ingrained on his face. “If you say so.” He replied.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Sora walked through the halls of his school, taking the final opportunity to look around at his various classmates, going about their daily tedium. Sora used to regret the fact that he never took the time to get to know very many of them since his return to the Islands, but when he looked back in retrospect at how soon he and Riku had to leave after coming back, he started to think that this was for the best.

 

Another sting of sadness arose in Sora’s heart as the people around him continuously went through the motions of their last few days in school, completely oblivious to Sora’s soon departure. It bothered him to have to hide the truth from so many people yet again, but he and Riku had agreed that keeping quiet about their new journey was probably the only option they really had any more.

 

Sora stopped dead in his tracks, as he noticed Kairi ahead, quietly and calmly sifting throughout her locker. Just like him, she was forced to put on a façade for the sake of her friends. She had assured him that she would do anything for someone she cared about, yet it still pained Sora to imagine her keeping the truth from anyone. Then again, Sora was already starting to believe that he himself might not know her as well as he thought.

 

Putting on a smile for her, Sora walked up behind and greeted the girl with, “Hey there, Kairi.” A bit surprised, she turned, and offered him a smile in return. “Hi, Sora, it’s good to see you.” She replied in turn, before cocking her head in a curious glance. “Did you need something?” She asked. Sora shook his head slightly. “Nah, nothing much, I just wanted to see if we could get together later and talk for a bit.” He replied.

 

Kairi nodded in response, a wide grin adoring her features. “Sure!” She responded, with another deft nod. “Why don’t we meet at my house after our last classes let out?” Sora returned the gesture. “Yeah, that sounds great. I’ll see you there.” He answered. After closing up her locker, Kairi bid Sora farewell and then continued on towards her next class. Sora watched her go, as the warm smile on his face slowly began to fade.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Sora gasped for air, as he trudged up the steep hill leading to Kairi’s house. He found himself lost in thought; his mind racing with questions that he had no idea how to ask. Honestly, was he really supposed to just walk up to his best friend and accuse her of giving him the cold-shoulder, especially when she had no reason to do so? Sora sighed, wishing deep-down in his heart that he wouldn’t end up doing this.

 

But he knew he couldn’t leave without saying something. Sora could have no idea of how long he would be away, and he wanted to make sure that no matter what, Kairi wouldn’t end up holding anything against him in all the time that he’d be gone. Sora shook his head in dismissal at the thought, though. “Maybe Riku’s right…”  He muttered to himself. “Maybe I’m just imagining things. I mean, come on Sora, Kairi could never hold a grudge against anyone!”

 

He stopped himself. “Still, I can’t just drop this.” He said. “I promised to meet her… And I still have some things I feel we need to talk about.”  With a newfound determination, Sora took off towards Kairi’s house, his gait even faster than before.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Kairi paced in front of the entrance-way to her house, her mind lost, and deep in thought. Her eyes were aimed at the ground, in an unfocused and blank stare. As Sora finally came up on the house she lived in, he spotted her in front and slowed his pace before her.

Kairi looked up in a start, and upon noticing him, offered a gentle smile. “Did you run all the way here just so you could see me? I’m flattered.” She teased. Sora chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his head, in a fluster. “Yeah, something like that…” The boy muttered beneath his breath. “Actually, Kairi, I just really wanted to talk to you…” He panted out.

 

Kairi feigned an expression of hurt, but then quickly surrendered it and stifled a slight giggle. “Oh well, I’m glad you feel that way, regardless” She said. “I have to admit, it was a bit jarring for me to have you show up out of nowhere and just want nothing more than to talk for a change. Usually you don’t show up asking for anything as straight-forward or dull as that. But then again…” She trailed off, her expression slowly growing sullen. “You two leave tomorrow, right?” She continued. “I guess it isn’t weird for you to be taking some last opportunities then, so you don’t end up regretting anything, right?”

 

Sora nodded, still trying to catch his breath, as he responded, “The truth is, Kairi… I’ve been having these weird thoughts lately.” Kairi giggled at him once more. “You mean, more than usual?” she replied.

 

Sora rolled his eyes at that one. “Haha, very funny.” He said in response, before continuing with, “What I mean is, well… Kairi, do you ever feel like there’s something wrong with the Islands?” Kairi gave him a confused look in return. “No, they’re wonderful year round. I mean, if I had to be picky…”

 

“No, that’s not it.” Sora interrupted. “What I’m trying to say is, have you ever felt like things are different here from when we were kids?” Kairi looked Sora in the eyes, an expression of worry upon her features. “Sora, what’s all this about?” She responded. “I’ve never heard you say anything like this before. Is everything alright?”

 

Sora still felt conflicted. Inside, he wanted nothing more than to tell her the truth; to tell her exactly what he had been feeling. Yet at the same time, he knew he had to keep it in. He didn’t want to worry her or keep anything from her, but he didn’t want to say anything he might regret, either. Reluctantly, slowly, Sora replied, “Kairi, I don’t know how to say this, or if I should even say it at all… But I feel like you’ve been avoiding me ever since I got back to the Islands.”

 

Needless to say, Kairi was stunned. Her face was frozen in a blank stare, as her unfocused eyes darted around nervously, trying to come up with some kind of response. Finally, after a long while, she managed to regain her composure, and smiled lightly at Sora. “Come on, Sora, you know that’s crazy!” she exclaimed playfully. “Trust me; I would spend every day with you and Riku, if I could. But things were just so hectic in my life when you two got back, what with school, and my other friends, and my… mother, that I might not have been able to make time for you guys.” She spoke with a tone of regret to her voice, as she looked off towards the ground, a touch of guilt etched into her expression. “And I’m sorry for that.” She continued. “But that’s no reason to assume I would ever feel that way, Sora. You’re my best friend, don’t ever doubt that.”

 

Sora looked away, a hint of shame finding its way onto his face. “I know… And I’m sorry. I just felt like I had to say that.” He replied to her. “I really don’t want there to be any hard feelings between the two of us before Riku and I leave tomorrow.” Kairi frowned slightly at her friend’s words, as she still managed to maintain a look of concern and worry in her eyes. “Sora,” she said, hesitantly. “Really, what’s gotten into you? Why would you ever think that I would have anything to resent you for?” She asked, her voice growing emotional, as she practically started to tremble.

 

Sora shook his head furiously. “Forget about it, please. It was stupid of me to ask, and I’m really sorry.” He said to her. Kairi nodded, and started to steady herself. “Yeah, okay.” She answered. “But listen, if that’s actually all you wanted to talk to me about, then I might really start going into hysterics.”

 

Sora looked away, flustered. “Oh, uhm…”He muttered quietly. Kairi leaned over into his field of vision, and grinned at him. “I’m kidding.” Sora chuckled nervously, and nodded at her while she pulled away, giggling ever so slightly.

 

Suddenly, a look of realization dawned upon Sora’s face. “Oh, yeah!” He exclaimed, pounding one fist into his open hand. “Riku and I were going to go to the Island, so we could watch the sun set one last time before we leave.” He said. “I’d be great if you could come too. To, y’know, see us off.”

 

Kairi hesitated for a moment, as if she had something else on her mind. But this quickly passed, and she replied with Sora’s same enthusiasm, “Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Sora pulled his and Kairi’s boats towards the dock, and began to tie them both down, as securely as he could manage. Kairi was already standing straight, and scanning the Island for Riku. As anticipated, she spotted him lounging over by the Paopu tree, where they always used to gather together as kids. Kairi took a moment and smiled lightly at the fond memory, before she forced herself back to reality.

 

Kairi turned towards Sora, who had just finished getting up. “He’s probably been waiting there for the both of us to show up, you know.” She said to him. Sora rolled his shoulder casually, and then responded with, “Yeah, sometimes he was just too quick for his own good. Bet he’s gonna blame it on us, too!” Kairi smiled at him. “Well, we might as well go give him a fighting chance, hmm?” Sora gave a wide smile and nodded, as they both started walking off towards the solitary little Island where Riku lay in wait.

 

Along the way, Sora seized the moment, and began to glance around at the tiny little Island he had spent so much of his life thinking was the entire world. It felt both strange, invigorating, and sad for him, to know that he would be leaving it all behind, once again. Only this time, it would be of his own free will.

 

“Don’t ignore the things you can’t find a replacement for.”

 

Sora stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes opened wide in shock. Where did that come from? He knew for sure that wasn’t anything he thought up himself, it was something else entirely. Before he could even guess what that might have been, his thoughts were interrupted by Kairi, poking at his shoulder. “Sora?” She asked, looking a little concerned. “Come on, we’re almost there. What’s the hold up?”

Sora stared blankly at her for a moment, before shaking his head. “Nothing, let’s go.” He replied. Together, they walked forward, towards the Paopu tree.

 

Riku turned back to the two as they walked up, and called out in greeting, “You’re late!” He shook his head at them, and continued, “I was right, nothing‘s changed. You’re both still as lazy as when we started building that raft.” Kairi giggled at him. “Well, looks like we win, for once.” She said, as Sora chuckled slightly. Riku just arched his eyebrow in confusion. “What are you two talking about?”

 

Kairi shook her head. “Don’t worry about it; let’s not let anything get in the way of this.” She said, all the while moving from Sora’s side towards the sun-set, an odd look upon her face. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen one; I’d almost forgotten what they looked like.” Sora stepped forward, and took his usual spot lying on the trunk of the tree. “Remember?” He started, “We used to come out here almost every day, before the Heartless came.” Riku leaned up against the Paopu tree. “Yeah, I wonder what happened?”

 

Sora looked up towards the sky. “Beats me.” He replied. “Kairi said she was too busy. The both of us had to catch up with a lot of our friends and school-work, so we weren’t exactly free, either.” Riku peered off into the distance, a stern look on his face. “We could have done it.” He muttered. Kairi turned towards him, looking a little curious. “Did you say something?” She asked.

 

Riku shook his head. “Let’s just focus on the sunset, alright?” Kairi looked a bit skeptical, but took her place on the tree regardless.

For the longest time, the three of them sat there in silence. Watching, waiting, and simply passing by the time as the sun continued to fall beneath the waves. Suddenly, Sora’s voice broke the silence. “Wow, nothing really has changed, has it?” No one answered. Riku continued to look distant, and Kairi had nothing to offer but a blank, unchanging stare. “Guys?” Sora asked, a hint of confusion on his voice. “What’s wrong?”

 

Out of nowhere, tears began to fall from Kairi’s eyes. Slowly, she went to cover her face, as she steadily struggled to stifle her sobs. Sora, caught completely off-guard, shot up and tried to console her as best he could. “Kairi!” He exclaimed. “Wh-what’s wrong?” Kairi turned away from him, muttering quiet words beneath her tears. “I knew this was a mistake…That coming here…Would only make me remember why…” she said, before she bluntly moved to leave them both. Sora reached after her, but she urged him away. All the while, Riku looked on in silence. “Sora, I’m sorry…” Kairi said, trying to compose herself. “I’m just, feeling a bit emotional, I guess thinking back on all the good times we had… Was just a little too much for me.” She tried her best to smile, in some way to alleviate Sora’s concern. “I’m fine, really. I just, need some time alone.”

 

Reluctantly, Sora pulled away. “Alright, if that’s what you want.” He said, but not before finishing with, “But still, I worry about you. If there’s anything you need, just tell me.” Kairi nodded at him. “Thank you Sora, I appreciate that. Thank you… And goodbye.” Swiftly, Kairi turned and left them both, as she headed off towards the boat dock.

 

“How are you supposed to do anything for her?” Riku spoke up, from behind Sora. “You’re leaving tomorrow. As good as your intentions are, there are some things you can only do while you’re right here, on these Islands.” Sora turned towards Riku, a look of frustration etched into his face. “Why didn’t you say anything!?” He exclaimed. “Kairi’s your friend too! She starts to break down right in front of you, and you don’t even act worried!” Riku looked at him, as a hint of sadness began to take form on his expression. “I’m sorry, but I wanted to leave this to you. I was worried, don’t doubt that. But you’re the one that needed to be there for her, above all else.” He said.

 

Sora pulled back in confusion. “What do you mean?” He asked. “That doesn’t make any sense! Why would Kairi want me to help her, but not you?” Riku replied, “I don’t know, alright? It’s just this feeling I have. You’re right Sora, Kairi hasn’t been herself. Or at the very least, she isn’t the person that we used to play together with on this tiny little Island. I know she won’t say anything, but I see it in her eyes; every time she puts on a face and tries to hide what’s really happening inside. She’s trying to act like everything’s fine, and I don’t know, maybe it is. But Sora, no matter what, you need to be there for her as best you can. And now, I can’t help but feel like she needs you more than ever.”

 

Sora recoiled at Riku’s words. In silent shock, and with his eyes open wide, he looked down at the ground, stunned. “No way… You really think, she’s been hiding, all this time…?” Riku nodded. “I thought…” Sora continued. “Even after everything, that I knew exactly what she felt… That she was just… But maybe, I don’t know her as well as I thought I did.”

 

“And maybe that’s why she feels like she can’t open up to you.” Riku said to him, before turning back towards the sunset. “Huh, we missed it.” He spoke deftly.

 

Sora looked back towards the boats, only now noticing that one of them was gone. Determined, he walked off towards the dock, his mind, for once, set in stone.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

By now, it was getting late. The sun had set on the Islands, and most of its residents were busy preparing for the night, by now. As such, Sora came across no one on his way back up to Kairi’s house, not that he would have paid them any mind regardless.

 

Eventually, Sora once again found himself at the top of the hill leading to Kairi’s abode. He had no idea if she was home or not, but still knew that he had to try, at least one last time. He needed to know now, before he lost his chance.

 

Walking up to the front door of Kairi’s home, Sora knocked on the wooden surface gently, yet loud enough to be heard, and then waited. After some time passed, he went to knock once more. It took a long time after, but finally, the door slowly began to creak open. Only a slight crack, enough for Kairi to see through.

 

“Kairi…” Sora whispered, below a breath. The young girl looked up at him, her face down-trodden, and unusually solemn. “Sora, Please…” she murmured. “I don’t feel like talking right now…” She went to close the door, but Sora stopped her. “Kairi, please!” He said, with more force. “I need to know what’s wrong! Please, just tell me! The last thing I want is…”

 

Kairi looked up at him, standing cold and alone in the harsh outside world. Quietly, hesitantly, she replied. “Things change, Sora.”

She looked away, one final time. “I changed.” In a deft motion, Kairi closed the door, leaving Sora alone, with nothing but the blinking light of a nearby street-lamp to give him comfort in the quiet, solitary night.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Edited by Mr. Mancer

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