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The Origins Of Nutella

origins of nutella firaga sensei original story

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7 replies to this topic

#1 Firaga


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Posted 06 October 2013 - 07:05 PM





Years ago, when the world was still new, God was sitting on his holy toilet. He had eaten too many burritos for lunch that day, so he was having a heck of a time getting it all out. He hadn't felt this bad since his son was put up on a cross...


Pushing and pushing, he tried his best to make sure it all got out of his system. Unfortunately, for him, the load was too much for him to handle, and it actually got on the toilet seat. Getting up and wiping his holy ass with holy toilet paper, he noticed the stain on his seat. Some angels went to clean the holy stain, but God stopped them. He sensed something from the layer of poop on the toilet seat...


Sticking his finger in the puddle of goop that lay on his seat, he tasted the brown substance that spewed from his holy bottom... God savored the taste...


The angels looked like they were going to throw up, but God startled them with his booming voice: "This is delicious! I just knew that this would be delicious!"


One angel whispered to the other: "You think God's right about this?" The other replied: "I don't know. He was right about that time he pooped out that other thing." "What was that called again?" "I believe it was called bacon." "Oh yeah..."


So God proposed that this substance would become part of the world where his children lived. The question was, though: how? Then he got an idea.


Years passed, and around the time that the year 1951 occurred, God decided to spread his new creation to a man named Pietro Ferrero, a simple baker from Alba who sold hazelnuts. He had one of his angels visit Ferrero in this sleep one day. The angel filled Ferrero's dreams with the idea of this new creation.


The next day, Ferrero took what he remembered from his dreams and used his hazelnuts to create God's new food: a simple hazelnut spread. He initially called it "Supercrema", and began selling.


Years later, Ferrero's son Michele would look to revamp his father's (or more likely Gods') creation by modifying the compostion of Supercrema in 1963. He attempted to sell the stuff beyond his home of Alba into Europe. The new product was renamed "Nutella".


From then on and into today, Nutella is a most appreciated delicacy, renown all over the world. And with it's success, I'm sure it's applicable to say: "Thank God for Nutella."




29wk3o8.jpg || THE END ||


Edited by Firaga Sensei, 13 December 2016 - 11:41 PM.

#2 Xiro


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Posted 06 October 2013 - 07:14 PM

That was beautiful. Thank you for this enlightening tale.

#3 Danex Darkfire +

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Posted 06 October 2013 - 07:48 PM

Seems legit

#4 President Yoshi

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Posted 06 October 2013 - 08:19 PM

lol im eating nutella on toast while reading this.

lately i've been eating this for dinner lately. donno why

#5 RoxSox


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Posted 06 October 2013 - 08:40 PM

Oh look, a thread about food having Godly origins. Haven't seen that before.

Edited by RoxSoxKH, 06 October 2013 - 08:55 PM.

#6 Gamerazor247



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Posted 06 October 2013 - 10:02 PM

Za is a pizza...
Aneay when I read the "This is DELICIOUS" part I suddenly thought of Spongebob...

#7 WolfTheDemon


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Posted 06 October 2013 - 11:41 PM

And the truth is. What god made nutella? Morgan Freeman, of course.

#8 ~DawnStar2004~


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Posted 07 October 2013 - 07:47 AM

Eeewww Nutella is God's poopy thank god I don't eat that stuff.