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Posted

Chuck Norris jokes here... xD

 

Chuck Norris found Waldo...

 

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

 

The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer

 

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

 

Chuck Norris taught a dog to bark in spanish... twice

 

Chuck norris once whispered in a mans ear, and broke his neck

 

Chuck Norris ate the babies.

Featured Replies

(You thief :@)

 

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

 

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

 

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

 

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse-kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent. (Oh damn!! He's 70!!!!!)

 

"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

 

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

 

If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.

 

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

 

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

 

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

 

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

 

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

 

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

 

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

 

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

Chuck Norris ate the babies.

 

So, Chuck Norris is... Hinako?! 8D

Chuck Norris "CAN TOUCH" MC Hammer

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar, the bar exploded due to the amount of awsomness could not be contained.

  • Author

^Classic

 

Chuck Norris ate the babies.

 

So, Chuck Norris is... Hinako?! 8D

 

I'm... A MAN!?

 

 

Chuck Norris ate the babies.

 

So, Chuck Norris is... Hinako?! 8D

 

I'm... A MAN!?

 

ARE YOU?! D8

How about... Charlie Norris? xD

 

 

 

Chuck Norris ate the babies.

 

So, Chuck Norris is... Hinako?! 8D

 

I'm... A MAN!?

 

ARE YOU?! D8

How about... Charlie Norris? xD

 

*checks*

NO xD

O_O

  • Author

Chuck Norris ate Mr. Bean

...

xD

Chuck Norris made love to me.

I exploded...

 

 

 

Too far?

Jesus walked on water, Chuck Norris swims through land.

If Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris were in a fight, Chuck Norris would win.

Period.

Scientists estimate that the Big Bang was equivalent to 1 CNRHK. (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)

Chuck Norris counted to infinity- twice.

Chuck Norris never loses the game.

Superman wears Chuck Norris Pajamas.

God holds the world with his hands. Chuck Norris holds the universe with his pinky toe.

Chuck norris made a weeble fall down.

Chuck norris made a weeble fall down.

 

lmao, anyways...

 

Chuck Norris breaks the Laws of Nature fifty times a day just to keep his day entertaining.

Chuck norris' fart blew up Canada, their was 1 survivor. Chuck Norris.

  • 1 month later...

Chuck norris made a weeble fall down.

 

i dont seem to recall what a weeble is

 

here is a looooooooong list of chuck norris jokes, some of which people may find impolite or that have already been posted:

http://www.thechucknorrisfacts.com/

Chuck norris never farts. They are too scared to come out.

  • 9 months later...

Chuck Norris will never win against Flandre Scarlet.

Chuck Norris will never win against Flandre Scarlet.

 

ಠ_ಠ

Chuck Norris invented bullet hell.

ಠ_ಠ

Chuck Norris invented bullet hell.

 

THAT IS A LIEEEEEEEE

But Chuck Norris couldn't play Lunatic Mode while drunk.

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