113 replies to this topic

[Koko]

He is probably going through a few more...but here are some I saw and he told me about:
Bullying: People make fun of the way he dresses, acts, and talks. I stand up for him at times when I am around, but it does not help...Also people annoy him telling him he is gay, when he know he is, but he finds it annoying since they use it as an insult. Also they make fun of him because he hangs out with me now and a group of girls...
He also has not told anyone in his family, and I have been around his mother and father. His mother is kind, but I have asked her questions about homosexuality, well his brother did and I added. She replied that "Oh if my son is gay then ill be scared! I mean most gay people always think about sex all the time!" I wanted to stand up but I couldn't do it in front of his mother, or it make it show able that her son is gay if I bring it up.
He also feels like he is hated by everyone, he is scared on what everyone is going to do if they find out about his sexuality, even though he accepts it.
I feel bad that he has a fake smile, when he is hurt inside. He shows it, but never admits it.
Please help...btw I hope I can show him tomorrow, if his parents make him able to come outside tomorrow...

He needs to learn how to stand up for himself! It's good that you stand up for him sometimes, so it's good that he has a good friend to look out for him, but he should also look for himself. Try talking to a teacher or the principal about the bullying if it's really bad. Bullying is a horrible thing.
As for his family, his mother seems quite ignorant about homosexuality so subtly bring up the topic and educate her on it. It'll make her more comfortable and maybe he'll be able to come out to her.
Just be there for him, support him and show him that you care and his sexuality doesn't matter and if people don't like him or accept him, that's their loss.
Like I said before, there will be people that will judge him, but there are also people that will care and accept him and he'll find those people. He already has you as a friend, just be supportive and talk to him. (:

[Shana09]

He needs to learn how to stand up for himself! It's good that you stand up for him sometimes, so it's good that he has a good friend to look out for him, but he should also look for himself. Try talking to a teacher or the principal about the bullying if it's really bad. Bullying is a horrible thing.
As for his family, his mother seems quite ignorant about homosexuality so subtly bring up the topic and educate her on it. It'll make her more comfortable and maybe he'll be able to come out to her.
Just be there for him, support him and show him that you care and his sexuality doesn't matter and if people don't like him or accept him, that's their loss.
Like I said before, there will be people that will judge him, but there are also people that will care and accept him and he'll find those people. He already has you as a friend, just be supportive and talk to him. (:

Thank you

He does stand up sometimes, but they end up thinking he is joking. They joke sometimes, so i believe they are teasing him. Which I know it is not okay, but he gets hurt a little. I will talk to his mother, I was thinking about that when I got the chance alone with her. But what exactly could he do? I cant be there always for him, so I need some advice for him so he could try doing something himself. Standing up is good, he needs to do it more, but I see that. But that really does not help much since they find it as a joke. =/

[Koko]

Thank you http://kh13.com/forum/public/style_emoti...

He does stand up sometimes, but they end up thinking he is joking. They joke sometimes, so i believe they are teasing him. Which I know it is not okay, but he gets hurt a little. I will talk to his mother, I was thinking about that when I got the chance alone with her. But what exactly could he do? I cant be there always for him, so I need some advice for him so he could try doing something himself. Standing up is good, he needs to do it more, but I see that. But that really does not help much since they find it as a joke. =/

He needs to have confidence and be sure of himself. He should stand his ground and not give up. If they tease him about being or acting them, he could tell them how ignorant and homophobic they're being or try to remove himself from the situation. If they mean it in a joking manner he should tell them to stop and if they don't, like I said, go talk to a trusted adult.

[Shana09]

He needs to have confidence and be sure of himself. He should stand his ground and not give up. If they tease him about being or acting them, he could tell them how ignorant and homophobic they're being or try to remove himself from the situation. If they mean it in a joking manner he should tell them to stop and if they don't, like I said, go talk to a trusted adult.

Alright thanks again!

He says they are homophobic, but they always say "how are we homophobic?!"
I always roll my eyes every time I hear that and grab him and take him away, since I dont want him to get heart broken because they usually say something worse after that.
I told him that, but he said something like this, "I dont want anyone to know, the last thing I want to do is tell a adult because they would think I am actually gay."

[Koko]

Alright thanks again! http://kh13.com/forum/public/style_emoti...

He says they are homophobic, but they always say "how are we homophobic?!"
I always roll my eyes every time I hear that and grab him and take him away, since I dont want him to get heart broken because they usually say something worse after that.
I told him that, but he said something like this, "I dont want anyone to know, the last thing I want to do is tell a adult because they would think I am actually gay."

He could point out that they are using gay as an insult and that in itself is homophobic and they are poorly educated. And leave it at that.
He needs to tell someone if he wants the bullying to stop. Teachers aren't supposed to discriminate against kids, they're supposed to help, so just try to convince him to talk to someone, anyone. It's only going to get worse if he doesn't speak out.

[Shana09]

He could point out that they are using gay as an insult and that in itself is homophobic and they are poorly educated. And leave it at that.
He needs to tell someone if he wants the bullying to stop. Teachers aren't supposed to discriminate against kids, they're supposed to help, so just try to convince him to talk to someone, anyone. It's only going to get worse if he doesn't speak out.

Alright...Ill update tomorrow on what he says. Thanks a bunch Koko =).

Also btw if anyone else would like help from me about problems, feel free to PM me also =) I have been through alot and so has my friend, maybe I can help and give tips about a bunch of things. The both of us can help you, sadly he does not have an account but I will ask him if any of you need help about something I cant help a lot on.
Dont be shy, I wont bite, and I will never find it irritating if you ask me over 50 questions. I would love to help =)

[Madotsuki]

I want to give everyone in this thread a gigantic hug. :'(

He is probably going through a few more...but here are some I saw and he told me about:

Bullying: People make fun of the way he dresses, acts, and talks. I stand up for him at times when I am around, but it does not help...Also people annoy him telling him he is gay, when he know he is, but he finds it annoying since they use it as an insult. Also they make fun of him because he hangs out with me now and a group of girls...


He also has not told anyone in his family, and I have been around his mother and father. His mother is kind, but I have asked her questions about homosexuality, well his brother did and I added. She replied that "Oh if my son is gay then ill be scared! I mean most gay people always think about sex all the time!" I wanted to stand up but I couldn't do it in front of his mother, or it make it show able that her son is gay if I bring it up.

He also feels like he is hated by everyone, he is scared on what everyone is going to do if they find out about his sexuality, even though he accepts it.

I feel bad that he has a fake smile, when he is hurt inside. He shows it, but never admits it.

Please help...btw I hope I can show him tomorrow, if his parents make him able to come outside tomorrow...

first off, if the bullying is getting really bad, definitely get an adult involved, and get them to cut that shit out. I know it sounds cliche and may not even work, but sometimes it can make a huge huge difference. otherwise, keep standing up for him, and help him stand up for himself as well.

family problems are a bit harder. if you feel comfortable with her, try and correct her, at least a little bit; chances are, she won't find out her son is gay if you do so (awkwardly worded sentence, but whatever).

if he feels he's hated by everyone...just let him know you're there for him. trust me, I've been in the same exact situation, and knowing that my friends were there to support me helped more than anything else ever could have.

I wish him the best of luck <3

[Ventus_XIII]

*takes a deep breath* I became lesbian after the last guy I dated attempted to use me for sex, I started to date my best friend senior year of high school. around October during my college football game my mother found out about us. ever since then she's been treating my girl like a plague and practically disowned me. I gave up being with my family to be with her. Yes I stay with my parents but I live with my girl and her accepting family. Things were great, I proposed she said yes, we were gonna move in together, travel, everything was perfect but my mom wouldnt let up. she said everything she could to make me distrust my girl. But it never worked....much.. it made issues and we broke up twice but now things are getting back to normal. I just wish I could be her daughter again. but no. I'm nothing to her anymore, that's what she says anyways....

[Cricket]

I am schizophrenic. I hear things. They are not good things either, voices tell me to kill myself and to harm others or myself. It's hard battling with this everyday, but my medication blocks out the voices although some voices slip in now and again if I don't take my medicine on time. Being schizophrenic makes you unemotional....It's hard for me to relate to others and I try so hard everyday of my life to understand people and to be normal and fit in. I'm tired of trying so hard everyday...it wears me out.

[Think Pink]

I am schizophrenic. I hear things. They are not good things either, voices tell me to kill myself and to harm others or myself. It's hard battling with this everyday, but my medication blocks out the voices although some voices slip in now and again if I don't take my medicine on time. Being schizophrenic makes you unemotional....It's hard for me to relate to others and I try so hard everyday of my life to understand people and to be normal and fit in. I'm tired of trying so hard everyday...it wears me out.

I'm glad at least most of the time you don't have to worry about the voices. If things get too bad, maybe you should talk to a therapist? One of my friends from middle school that I don't get to see much anymore had the same problem. She would always complain there were bad voices in her head and stuff, and after she got on some meds and started talking to a therapist, she was a lot happier. Hopefully that would help you out some more. Best of luck, Cricket.<3

*takes a deep breath* I became lesbian after the last guy I dated attempted to use me for sex, I started to date my best friend senior year of high school. around October during my college football game my mother found out about us. ever since then she's been treating my girl like a plague and practically disowned me. I gave up being with my family to be with her. Yes I stay with my parents but I live with my girl and her accepting family. Things were great, I proposed she said yes, we were gonna move in together, travel, everything was perfect but my mom wouldnt let up. she said everything she could to make me distrust my girl. But it never worked....much.. it made issues and we broke up twice but now things are getting back to normal. I just wish I could be her daughter again. but no. I'm nothing to her anymore, that's what she says anyways....

Your Mom sounds like maybe she's going through more of a personal crisis of accepting her daughter as a lesbian, rather than not liking you. It sounds like she still loves you very much, but can't admit it because maybe she feels kind of betrayed. Not that she is, because you have a right to be whatever you want. I'm just saying that's how it seems like she might feel right now. Try to reconnect with her slowly. For the time being, try not to bring your girlfriend it that upsets her so much. Ease into bringing your girlfriend over once your mom becomes more comfortable. Just start by maybe having a lunch together, seeing a movie you both would like--just something casual, fun, and that you can connect over. Good luck<3

[Koko]

*takes a deep breath* I became lesbian after the last guy I dated attempted to use me for sex, I started to date my best friend senior year of high school. around October during my college football game my mother found out about us. ever since then she's been treating my girl like a plague and practically disowned me. I gave up being with my family to be with her. Yes I stay with my parents but I live with my girl and her accepting family. Things were great, I proposed she said yes, we were gonna move in together, travel, everything was perfect but my mom wouldnt let up. she said everything she could to make me distrust my girl. But it never worked....much.. it made issues and we broke up twice but now things are getting back to normal. I just wish I could be her daughter again. but no. I'm nothing to her anymore, that's what she says anyways....

I don't really know what to say D:
First, congrats on the engagement!
If the whole ordeal with your mom makes you sad, get your mind off it by focusing on what's going to come. I mean, I would be so ecstatic about being engaged.
Anyways, why is it that your mother isn't accepting? Do you know? Is she like homophobic or thinks it's wrong or maybe is uneducated about it?
You could try visiting her and trying to have a heart to heart with her. Tell her how she's making you feel and that you want to be her daughter and just let her know that what she's doing is hurting you. Parents aren't there to hurt their kids.
If that doesn't work, I'm not sure what else to say :/

edit: LISTEN TO LEXI I LIKE HER ADVICE MORE

I am schizophrenic. I hear things. They are not good things either, voices tell me to kill myself and to harm others or myself. It's hard battling with this everyday, but my medication blocks out the voices although some voices slip in now and again if I don't take my medicine on time. Being schizophrenic makes you unemotional....It's hard for me to relate to others and I try so hard everyday of my life to understand people and to be normal and fit in. I'm tired of trying so hard everyday...it wears me out.

I LOVE YOU CRICKER
This is going to be more personal bc Cricket, you're like the best and you're always going to be the same friendly and awesome Cricket I first met.
I believe you are strong enough to ignore the voices in your head and even though it is a big obstacle, I believe that you will still overcome it.
Don't beat yourself up so much about not being able to relate to others and feeling unemotional. Focus on yourself and what's best for you.
Idk what else to say except you're the best ok.

[Ventus_XIII]

I don't really know what to say D:
First, congrats on the engagement!
If the whole ordeal with your mom makes you sad, get your mind off it by focusing on what's going to come. I mean, I would be so ecstatic about being engaged.
Anyways, why is it that your mother isn't accepting? Do you know? Is she like homophobic or thinks it's wrong or maybe is uneducated about it?
You could try visiting her and trying to have a heart to heart with her. Tell her how she's making you feel and that you want to be her daughter and just let her know that what she's doing is hurting you. Parents aren't there to hurt their kids.
If that doesn't work, I'm not sure what else to say :/

edit: LISTEN TO LEXI I LIKE HER ADVICE MORE



I LOVE YOU CRICKER
This is going to be more personal bc Cricket, you're like the best and you're always going to be the same friendly and awesome Cricket I first met.
I believe you are strong enough to ignore the voices in your head and even though it is a big obstacle, I believe that you will still overcome it.
Don't beat yourself up so much about not being able to relate to others and feeling unemotional. Focus on yourself and what's best for you.
Idk what else to say except you're the best ok.

she's religious and a homophobic. I try to talk to her and tell her about it but she doesnt care. her beliefs r more important

[Koko]

she's religious and a homophobic. I try to talk to her and tell her about it but she doesnt care. her beliefs r more important

That's tough :/
I'm not really sure what else you could do ;A;

[Ventus_XIII]

That's tough :/
I'm not really sure what else you could do ;A;

nothing yet. I'm going back to college soon before that I'll be moved out so it'll be over soon

[Think Pink]

she's religious and a homophobic. I try to talk to her and tell her about it but she doesnt care. her beliefs r more important

If she's religious, most religions promote acceptance and tolerance. For instance, I'm Christian and while I myself am not gay, I'd never be mean to someone who is. I'll accept them the way they are. Try telling her that. If her beliefs are most important to her, then she should know that her religion probably is telling her to love and cherish you. If she's Christian, look up passages in the Bible that support your cause.

EDIT: Even if you're returning to college soon, still try to rebuild your relationship with your Mom. She may not understand you and be angry right now, but deep down she loves you more than anything. Don't lose out on that relationship because you two can't come to an understanding. You never know how long you'll have her, and when she's gone, trust me when I tell you you will regret every moment you didn't spend with her. It might take her a while to realize she's wrong, but don't give up on her. Best of luck<3

[Not-with-a-whimper]

If she's religious, most religions promote acceptance and tolerance. For instance, I'm Christian and while I myself am not gay, I'd never be mean to someone who is. I'll accept them the way they are. Try telling her that. If her beliefs are most important to her, then she should know that her religion probably is telling her to love and cherish you. If she's Christian, look up passages in the Bible that support your cause.

EDIT: Even if you're returning to college soon, still try to rebuild your relationship with your Mom. She may not understand you and be angry right now, but deep down she loves you more than anything. Don't lose out on that relationship because you two can't come to an understanding. You never know how long you'll have her, and when she's gone, trust me when I tell you you will regret every moment you didn't spend with her. It might take her a while to realize she's wrong, but don't give up on her. Best of luck<3

I don't see how people can call themselves Christians if they're going to shut out and hate people. Jesus only ever spoke out against the "religious leaders" of his day. I'm still rather uneducated on homosexuality, but I would never judge or hate someone based on it. Also, as a heterosexual guy who isn't a total jerk, I'd just like to say that on behalf of every good guy out there that not all of us are, pardon my language, dicks. I'm sorry that you happened to formerly be in a relationship with one who was.

[AnsemTheWise]

I've got my problems under control, but I am available if anyone needs help.

Honestly, I'm not good with the mushy stuff. My territory's in the physical world. While you should see a doctor about any medical problems, I'm free for any questions you might have. The internet's not always the best place to go (anyone can post whatever up), so turn to you resident medic! I specialize in human biology and chemistry, so I've got a pretty good understanding about what makes you tick (cases like Joseph's Crohn's is what I'm used to working with). I'm also open to anything else you wanna get off your chest. My family's basically got everything in the book, so I've seen it all.

I'm never really open for chat (everyone always starts messages while I'm typing and then leaves. Plus, I usually just pop on for a minute or two.), but you can shoot me a PM and we can set up a chat time if you'd like.

[Not-with-a-whimper]

I'm basically the opposite of AnsemTheWise in that regard. The physical stuff I'm not so good with, but when it comes to heartache and emotional pain then I'm your guy. I'm on here pretty often, but if I'm not then just PM me and I'll get right back to you.

[Koko]

I've got my problems under control, but I am available if anyone needs help.

Honestly, I'm not good with the mushy stuff. My territory's in the physical world. While you should see a doctor about any medical problems, I'm free for any questions you might have. The internet's not always the best place to go (anyone can post whatever up), so turn to you resident medic! I specialize in human biology and chemistry, so I've got a pretty good understanding about what makes you tick (cases like Joseph's Crohn's is what I'm used to working with). I'm also open to anything else you wanna get off your chest. My family's basically got everything in the book, so I've seen it all.

I'm never really open for chat (everyone always starts messages while I'm typing and then leaves. Plus, I usually just pop on for a minute or two.), but you can shoot me a PM and we can set up a chat time if you'd like.

I'll you to the list of members to privately message then!

Also, I think I'm going to post some of my own troubles here.
I'm pretty content with my life.
My relationship with my parents is steadier than before, my grades are great, my friends are good and my girlfriend is amazing.
I've been trying to lose wight for the past few months. I believe I started in September. I've lost about 18 pounds since then.
The thing is though, periodically, throughout those months, I obsessively tracked my calorie intake. Some days I would have just under 200 calories. I even tried the ABC Diet (Ana Boot Camp) but stopped, not because I couldn't do it or felt bad, but because I kept staying WAY under the daily limits and the point of the diet was to be as close as what the designated intake was for that day. Sometimes I would forget to eat, if it was on purpose or not, I don't know. I'd get sick to my stomach and hate myself for having more than 1000 calories sometimes.
I even found out a few days ago that the average caloric intake of a girl my age is somewhere between 1800 and 2400 depending on level of activity.
Lately my intake has been at 1200 or lower.
I've been trying to get back into a healthier pattern, but I can't seem to.
I do eat more fruits and veggies, I drink lots of water and tea, I try to have what I need to have so I never feel faint or weak, I actually feel more energetic.
But I feel like it's wrong for me to be consuming so little calories. I still constantly check labels and read the nutrition information several times and the calories per serving even more.
My mother constantly reminds me of how fat I am and makes me be even more conscious in what I eat.
I just am not content with my body especially since everyone around me are very thin and lean while I'm just fat.

[4Everbee]

I'll you to the list of members to privately message then!

Also, I think I'm going to post some of my own troubles here.
I'm pretty content with my life.
My relationship with my parents is steadier than before, my grades are great, my friends are good and my girlfriend is amazing.
I've been trying to lose wight for the past few months. I believe I started in September. I've lost about 18 pounds since then.
The thing is though, periodically, throughout those months, I obsessively tracked my calorie intake. Some days I would have just under 200 calories. I even tried the ABC Diet (Ana Boot Camp) but stopped, not because I couldn't do it or felt bad, but because I kept staying WAY under the daily limits and the point of the diet was to be as close as what the designated intake was for that day. Sometimes I would forget to eat, if it was on purpose or not, I don't know. I'd get sick to my stomach and hate myself for having more than 1000 calories sometimes.
I even found out a few days ago that the average caloric intake of a girl my age is somewhere between 1800 and 2400 depending on level of activity.
Lately my intake has been at 1200 or lower.
I've been trying to get back into a healthier pattern, but I can't seem to.
I do eat more fruits and veggies, I drink lots of water and tea, I try to have what I need to have so I never feel faint or weak, I actually feel more energetic.
But I feel like it's wrong for me to be consuming so little calories. I still constantly check labels and read the nutrition information several times and the calories per serving even more.
My mother constantly reminds me of how fat I am and makes me be even more conscious in what I eat.
I just am not content with my body especially since everyone around me are very thin and lean while I'm just fat.

`1 I don't think your mom thinks your fat. I think she just saying that cause she don't want you to eat to much or get sick or anything like that.
2 it not about how many calories you eat. IT ABOUT WHAT YOU EAT AND HOW YOU WORK OUT!
You have to work out if you want to lose wight. Why? Cause you know how you see ppl who are soo skin but they use to be really fat? Well they didn't eat big meals for lunch and dinner every day and they worked out. They took walks they did the work out thing on the TV. And your not fat I seen you! Nobody is fat!!!
So this is what I say. Eat a big breakfast for you won't get hungry till lunch and even then you won't be that hungry so you'll have a small lunch.
Then dinner eat a big or small up to you. And work out walk around. Just cause you don't eat does not mean you gonna lose wight. You have to work out.
And I'm so so sorry if I'm not helping.